Help all Scorpios!

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by shortyrock on Wednesday, March 15, 2006 and has 24 replies.
Hi everyone! I need some advice on a Scorpio man. First let me say I was in a relationship with a Scorpio man for 8 years, so I feel I can generally understand them to a certain degree. They are complex creatures, I must say...always keep you guessing. Well, let me tell you my story. I have been seeing this Scorpio man for about 2 months. He is wonderful, true to his Scorpio nature. Let me say we have been friends for about 5 months because we hang in the same crowd. About 2 months ago, things just sparked between us, and there was undeniable attraction that neither of us could ignore. We started hanging out outside of our group of friends, and in the beginning it was wonderful. We both were on the same page...we told each other we liked each other. We have not been intimate, as I feel we need to establish something before that can happen..so we are taking things slow. My concern is this...in the beginning, he was the aggressive one, he called me all the time. Now lately it seems like I'm the one that's doing most of the calling and he doesn't call me as much although I know he is still interested. This kind of perturbs me because I don't know what's going on in his head. I've asked a few opinions and one friend told me that it's possible he's gone into a comfort zone, and maybe he doesn't feel the need to call me every day now. Someone else told me that it's possible he's feeling very deeply about me, and doesn't know how to handle it. I'm confused, I really like this Scorpio and I know he likes me because he's told me...I guess I just don't understand why the tables have turned? Maybe I'm making too much of this. I guess I just want this to really work between him & me. Is this a Scorpio "thing?" Any info/honesty/advice/suggestions are welcome! Thank you.
BTW, I'm a Capricorn!
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Go to the capricorn board and all is revealed about Capricorn men there...This is their disappearing phase..you'll live..he'll be back..Go read the posts there, everything will make sense..
I am a scorpio woman, dealt with a cappi man..haven't got the patience or the time for him to be honest..
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Oops, MM, shortyrock is dealing with a wonderful, intense, scorpion MAN, not a fickle cap male -- don't send her over there... oy vey
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Well, as a Scorpio man I would say your bf could be in the state of 'retreat' . Maybe he wants some time alone or just pause as trying to make himself clear. Since he told you that he like you, I think he really like you just the same!
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shortyrock
When I read your story this was the first thing that came to mind that I instantly connect to. Call it my keen sense
But maybe he is ready to sleep with you and because you want to wait a bit longer it turned him off and he has distance his self from you.
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Thank you very much for your reponses - they've helped alot!
Scorpionlady -
To be honest, the decision to wait to be intimate was a mutual agreement. In fact, he was the one that made the decision before I did. I've been told that this is surprising him being a Scorpio and all. I took it to mean that he really cares for me, and he wants this to work. He doesn't want this to be like his past relationships.
I appreciate your honest opinions.
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Lol @ pathfinder..Yes it must've been early..apologies for my little mistake!..
Well in that case give him time..he'll be back..He's probably just mulling the decision over in his own head..but the mutual decision not to get intimate at this stage is a good sign..usually means they want to stick around for a while..
Good luck with it..My back up is Scorpionlady..
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Thanks MM
Wow that is strange for a scropio maybe he really do like/love and want you, call him talk to he as if nothing is going on
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my first reaction was the old catch and release trick, but if he wants to wait for sex, maybe his intentions are good. where do you live, if i may ask? just curious.
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Thank you all for your wonderful responses! Pato, I live in NY; so does he. What do you mean by the old catch and release trick?
We actually spoke last night...he called me, for a change. I opened the lines of communication and told him how i've been feeling...apparently he didn't think he was being distant; he thought things were the same as they always have been.
Besides this little problem, things are going great! I feel such a connection with him, unlike with anyone else. If I could just get him to trust me and be open, I'm positive we could make this work.
Capman - thank you for the horoscope. It sounds very promising. smile
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Yeah Cap man and Scorp woman good match and vice versa...but I am still going to pass..I would be more accommodating if they weren't so bloody nervous around me..Its like your a grown man, really its ok to ask a girly wirly out for coffee..I am not gonna rape you...just yet!..haha
However shortyrock (or whatever your name is)..Its great that communication is open again..You'll be just fine..They like a strong woman, so be strong..don't whine too much pahleeeeeeeeeeeeze...(not that your whining mind) remain your strong cappy self..All the best..
My scorp in USA has gone a bit quiet and distant on me..I am letting him have his time or whatever he's doing..he's prolly getting too involved and thinking of the implications of a long distance relationship..although thats never bothered us scorps..I don't really care if they live in Timbuktu..as long as I like them..No biggie, got another right here in London..who has just given me his number..Obviously I haven't called him yet..just can't be a*sed to tell you the truth..all in good time..or should I say all in ME time..
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well to tell you the truth DB, I am a bit fed up with the bloody miserable weather in this country so a bit of sunshine and I am anyones!..lol..ok, lets not get carried away..I momentarily removed my chastity belt..**missmorals attaches belt again**..but seriously, I can just imagine strolling on the beaches with my cool sandals and flimsy clothes..awwww..**sinks into depression as MM looks outside and sees snowflakes**
But in all honesty, I have contemplated moving to the US..don't know whether I could do permanent thing though..by the grace of god, I have a lovely home in the UK..so could do a 6 months there and 6 months here type thing..temping in both places..But woah there..lets not get carried away, its not like we are dating..so no point thinking that far ahead..
Long distance is difficult, especially for us emotional dynamos..we need to be with the person we love..and he does keep saying "sweetheart, its such a shame you live seven seas across, or I would go crazy on ya"...and remember scorpios are about action, not just words..let see if he comes to the UK or I go over there..
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hey shorty...gawd its uncanny ur story seems to be the same as mine! while i was readin it i ws like omg this is my story up there...we also have the same group of friends n let me jus tell u again our storys the same not one edition required. I dunno how to handle him or behave with him...everyones been tellin me not to be the one who calls him or contacts him that he shud take the initiative but i hate it when he crawls into his shell n for him apparently this is normal cuz those times he ws "busy" i go crazy at such times dunno how to think wat to think or to behave with him...can nyone pls help me. btw im virgo
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Charmedchicka, can you elaborate it ?
Shortyrock, it is so difficult to get a scorpio to open up, especially the male specimen. The females move forward in full speed for getting what they want . But the males, they just withdraw into their shell and hide expecting you to do all the work.
You can catch them from their facial expressions and body language. If the contact is maintained only through phone, then you can guage their reactions from the tone of their voice......the vibrations, hesitations, silences etc. Even then you may be kept in the dark for long periods of time with little flashes of insight being allowed very rarely.
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OMG, Shortyrock and Charmedchick, are we all dating the same guy? This is my story too. I met My Scorpio 2 months ago,he pursued me, then all of a sudden I find myself doing all the calling. I have no idea what's going on in his head. He came over one evening for dinner, we cuddled on the sofa and watched movies and shared a few kisses. He called me once after that and I was going out with friends. I invited him to come out and have a drink with us...he never showed up. I found that after that I was doing all the calling. There are times when I call and he doesn't answer and I don't leave a message. He can see that I called and will call me back but never calls me just because. I finally became frustrated with him and told him I was moving on. He then asked me out on a date. We went to a concert and dancing after. I had a very nice evening with him. I'm not sure what he was thinking, but his body language said he's interested. Now I have not heard from him in weeks and I'm not sure what happened. It's very frustrating when you meet someone you'd like to get to know and they keep you at a distance. BTW I live in Arizona.
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He expects loyalty and faithfulness, and often will give you the same (if he loves you). This is a sexually adventurous soul, but he is not generally sexually promiscuous. Trust is always important for Scorpio, and is even more important for the Scorpio male sexually. He must feel at ease with you to share his true needs. Whereas a Pisces man will divulge his sexual fantasies only too readily, the Scorpio man will test you every step of the way by exposing little bits and pieces and gauging your response. One false move and you will be looking at a one night stand. If that is all you are after and it is clear to the Scorpio man, he may take you up on your offers and a good time will be had by all. But if you are venturing into the depths of negotiating a relationship with a Scorpio male, you will soon realize that you are sharing much more of yourself than he is. He will not let you in until he feels safe; this includes clueing you in on his sexual desires. What does he do when he is alone?
Don't know if that helps, but it may give you a clue on why he has backed off a bit.
BTW, I wanted to post the rest of this, but it gets pretty raunchy. I LOVE IT, but others may get offended. Kinky, kinky!!!
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My scorpio friend Did open-up to me and expresses all the time how he loves our conversations, Eventhough he has opened-up there are still many secrects with him. I find myself lately walking on eggshells and careful of what I say to him because I dont want to ruin the trust so far that he has in me but I dont like walking on eggshells either. Once a scorpio opens himself-up to you, I really wouldnt cross him unless your ready to feel the sting.
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Blueaqua, I feel exactly the same way as if I'm walking on eggshells and I hate it. I tend to speak my mind (not in a hurtful way) but I think I've somehow offended him. I guess it's time to move on!
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"Blueaqua, I feel exactly the same way as if I'm walking on eggshells and I hate it. I tend to speak my mind (not in a hurtful way) but I think I've somehow offended him. I guess it's time to move on!"
Sapphire,I'd say give him alittle time, if a scorp is offended, im not sure how they deal with that. If he was offended he might hold it somewhat against you but he will come around Only when he wants. Usually if I speak my mind to my scorpio I communicate to him in such a way that he doesnt take offense but understands my point of view which he respects. I've cracked a few of those eggshells while walking on them, we're only human: )
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Blueaqua, thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm only guessing that I've said or done something to offend him. I'm not sure what's going on. I will wait it out, but not for too long. I'm a Virgo with Libra rising, so I'm really not an offensive person. I'm always trying to look at the total picture
when I speak But, Scorpios are supersensitive, so ya never know what their interpretation is.
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Dancing Bread, thanks for the advise. At this point all I can do is go on with my life. And, you're right, this is drama. I hate drama.
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Sapphire and Charmedchick, I had this problem in the beginning with my Scorp being the aggressor; then I found the tables turning & I was doing all the calling. What worked for me was I told him how I felt, communication is key...I stated that I need the man to be the aggressor in the beginning, then I think as the relationship grows, it tends to take a natural shift to the both of you putting in equal effort. What I did was that I stopped calling, and he started being the aggressor again, calling me all the time. As I've gotten to know him, and I believe most Scorps are like this; I noticed a pattern with him. At times when he wouldn't call...I took it to mean he needed his space, so I let him be. The other day, he told me he loves that I give him the space he needs. None of his exes have done that for him. So now, we both share the responsibility of calling...I think we're at a really good place right now.
DB is right; you can't force a relationship w/ a Scorp. I would suggest giving it time; letting things progress slowly and naturally. I've found that this works; if both parties are interested and ready, willing & able to pursue something more than just friendship. I've also read that they like a challenge; don't know how much truth that holds...but I think it's always a good thing to remain a little mysterious, no matter the sign. This will keep them guessing.
My Scorp and I just became intimate after a few months of seeing each other...and I am already noticing a big change in him...for the better. Not to say that this is because of the intimacy, maybe a Scorp would be better equipped to answer that, but I now find that he is more willing to be open w/ me, he trusts me more, and I find us acting like a couple; although we technically don't have the title yet.
What I find funny is everything I usually read about Scorpio characteristics, he says he's not. For example, he says he's not jealous...although I've witnessed a few incidents when his jealousy has shown through. He says he doesn't read people...although his stares can knock down brick walls.
I think you both have to get to a place where you are comfortable in your "relationship" with him, where you won't go crazy if he doesn't call or ask to see you. Believe me, I was going crazy trying to figure him out a month or so ago. Since then, I've gotten to know him; and I've become comfortable with where we are and where we have yet to go. I'm OK if I don't speak to him one day, but I know we won't go more than a day without speaking. I guess you have to ulimately decide if this guy is worth all the trouble. I knew from the beginning that this Scorp was worth it; which is why I stuck around. I'm a pretty strong individual as well; so I don't let any little thing deter me either. Hang in there!!
Juwanapla - can you please post the rest of it or post the website? I'm intrigued as well!
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shortyrock, chk ur messages when you have time
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BlueAqua,
Check your messages.... smile
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