Help me figure this out

Okay some of you read my other thread about "telltale signs a Scorpio likes you"

I was asking for insight bc mr. Confusing is not clearly stating what he wants or thinks about "us"

So here is the situation, in short

We see eachother every weekend and typically a day during the week also
We text everyday and I always let him initiate texting

He knows I have a son and has met him now 4x (my son is 1)

He knew I am house sitting this weekend for my parents and I told him I would be stuck doing that this weekend but he could help me hold down the fort one evening if he wanted

He said "that could probably be arranged" to which I responded that maybe/perhaps/probably doesn't work for me, that it's actually a pet peeve and that I'm a planner. I don't wait around for other people to do things, no matter who it is.

So yesterday he started texting me asking what I was up to and when I asked him again if he was coming he said he hadn't decided yet and that he wasn't feeling well so he was going to lay down

Several hours later (around 11 pm) he texted me again saying he was going to take his car for a drive to see if that helped him

Then at 4:30 am he texted me asking what I was doing and I told him I was laying in bed. (I saw the message 30min after he sent it bc I woke up when my son was crying)
He asked to come over so I agreed

We cuddled on my bed and chatted sarcastically until we fell asleep. I heard my son cry around 7am so I went to his bed to console him and then fell asleep with him. Got up with my child around 9 and made breakfast
Scorpio woke up at 10 and put his shoes on to leave - no hug or kiss and he denied breakfast

W T F!!!!!!

Also, I realize me letting him come at that time was stupid and Idk what the hell I was thinking except that I just really wanted to see him

Posted by Impulsv
That says it all. Bootycall for him.

He didn't get any and we have barely even kissed

I wondered too if it was a booty call but we were cuddling in my bed for over an hour and he never made any advances on me at all... He actually fell asleep a few times and then I did too (til I woke up when I heard little man)

I agree, booty call, and a jerk ... No matter what his sign is.

Posted by Impulsv
Have u guys crossed to sexual relationship or was this for him meant to be the first time to cross it.

well that's the thing - he never made any advances on me at all and like I said we both fell asleep.

Posted by abritta3

Posted by Impulsv
Have u guys crossed to sexual relationship or was this for him meant to be the first time to cross it.

well that's the thing - he never made any advances on me at all and like I said we both fell asleep.

click to expand

and that's what is confusing me is like bc if I knew for sure that if it was just sex he wanted I wouldn't blink an eye in cutting him off but he never tried anything...

Posted by Impulsv
Specially if u called him on it earlier saying u don't do without planning. U just did.

True - I am upset with myself for that. Thanks for the feedback.

Not much to figure out here....

Posted by Impulsv
But serious having sex doesn't change what might have been in his mind. It's rude to call u at 4:30
Am period
What gives him the impression he can do that with u. A man calling at 4:30 has a bonner thinking of a release.

He didn't call, he texted and she responded to said text. That is what gave him the impression he could do that to her:

Posted by abritta3

Then at 4:30 am he texted me asking what I was doing and I told him I was laying in bed...
He asked to come over so I agreed

click to expand

This was after he refused to accept her terms to confirm plans and spend some time with her (e.g at a resonable time when they could actually get to know each other vs cuddling and "accidently" slipping into something more in the middle of the night). She drew a line, he wanted to see how firm her line was--it wasn't because quite easily she accomodated his request. Even if he hadn't left in the morning, the boundaries have been set now.

Look at the time line that is presented. They had this conversation much earlier in the day where he's humming and hawing about seeing her. "Several hours later" (11pm) he's going for a drive to feel better--that's new, but hey I'm no doctor and there may be an illness that can be cured with driving. Then he texts her at 4am. I read that series of events as "I'm not too sure about this chick, why she sweating me to come see...*she's actually holding me to what I said about helping her hold down the fort?--f*ck!...*...anyway, I'm going to do something else...sh*t those plans didn't work out...let's text this chick to see if plan B will work out", and it sort of did, but didn't.

And this whole thing about him not trying anything was more than likely him hoping you would initiate it. That way, he could deny all responsibility of whatever took place and continue to be uncommittal, just like he couldn't commit to even coming over.

Be my hero and make him respect you

If he doesn't turn your back

So hard to read what you said but you're right on every him and I knew that deep down
I take full responsibility on not keeping my boundary firm
😢 I'm upset with myself but what's done is done

I fully expect him to contact me again and when he does I'm going to tell him that I made a mistake by letting him come at that time & that it's best to just cut things off

Posted by kim30
Be my hero and make him respect you

I'm just not sure he's worth my energy anymore
I thought he was different but meh

You realize if you do follow through withwhat you said there is a good chance he is gonna come back at different angle.

Posted by kim30
You realize if you do follow through withwhat you said there is a good chance he is gonna come back at different angle.

Honestly, part of me is hoping that.
What's your suggestion?
I've thought of verbally telling him that last night was a mistake on my part and reiterating my boundaries again
But I'm kinda thinking I'll let it ride and see what he does and if he tries to make last min plans and 4:00 am texts then I'll just not respond to them

I do think he likes me and last night was inexcusable on both sides
Nothing happened but it showed me a lot

Its hard to keep your boundaries when you really really like someone. This is why some of my girlfriends joke about only dating men who like you more than you like them! LoL

I definitely wouldn't contact him and I wouldn't verbalize anything right off.
He's not gonna listen at this point. It'll be a 'yeah right' response.
action action action.

Posted by kim30
I definitely wouldn't contact him and I wouldn't verbalize anything right off.
He's not gonna listen at this point. It'll be a 'yeah right' response.
action action action.

It is hard! and I do like him quite a lot. But I don't like what happened last night.
But yes def moving forward and I wot say anything to him unless he contacts me first.

Does it bother you that he texts?
Personally its hard for me to believe a guy respects me if he only texts and never calls. Not sure why but it doesn't sit well with me

Whenever I want to contact "that one"i do leg lifts and sit ups or leave my phone inside and run around the block. It helps. Like brushing your teeth when you want to eat the second piece of cake! It gets the taste out of your mouth!

Posted by abritta3

Posted by kim30
You realize if you do follow through withwhat you said there is a good chance he is gonna come back at different angle.

Honestly, part of me is hoping that.
What's your suggestion?
I've thought of verbally telling him that last night was a mistake on my part and reiterating my boundaries again
But I'm kinda thinking I'll let it ride and see what he does and if he tries to make last min plans and 4:00 am texts then I'll just not respond to them

click to expand

That's playing games. If you want to cut ties, then do so. If not, tell him where you stand and hold firm to what you say. Look at his actions, if they do not match his words, call him on his inconsistency to allow room for a reasonable explaination and some honesty about where he is emotionally. I wouldn't expect anything too deep, especially if its only been a few months (you weren't clear on length of time), but you can at least expect honesty about his intentions. In that way, you've tried all you can and if he continues to screw up, move on. I suggest this approach because I don't know your history with him and why you may want to waiver on a decision to cut him loose or stay, but there are clearly some feelings there. In all honesty, his actions (e.g. unwilling to define "us") says he may not be looking for too much, but that is still your call to push through it and see what's up.

I tend to believe people are jerks for a reason. Some need a few more chances to get their sh*t together, some don't. Whether you care to figure out why he's acting the way he is and think he's worth the effort is up to you, but don't play games. What you've presented here is a snapshot of who he is, which doesn't seem that great so far, but there are things we can't see (e.g. his pov). Set some boundaries, hold them, call him on his behaviour and he may see what you're about, respect that and act accordingly. Or, he may keep doing what he's doing. Again, it's your call.

Posted by Impulsv
Don't beat ur self up u know better u do better.

and this^^^

Posted by tiziani
I'm more confused by the reactions in this thread than the thread itself. Just an innocent and naive Libra walking through.

Do you have an alternate view/advice?

Posted by tiziani
I'm more confused by the reactions in this thread than the thread itself. Just an innocent and naive Libra walking through.

same here. sounds like a sweet night of a spontaneous cuddle session to me. It wasn't a booty call because the sex was never a factor. Who shares the same bed n a non-sexual way with someone they don't want to get close to?

I'm confused.

Posted by IrresistableScorp
The OP is clearly over analyzing here??_

Just my two cents.

I don't disagree I tend to do that

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by tiziani
I'm more confused by the reactions in this thread than the thread itself. Just an innocent and naive Libra walking through.

same here. sounds like a sweet night of a spontaneous cuddle session to me. It wasn't a booty call because the sex was never a factor. Who shares the same bed n a non-sexual way with someone they don't want to get close to?

I'm confused.

click to expand

From what I know of him I think this is accurate but yeah the 4am part is something that can't be a habit

Posted by tiziani

Posted by abritta3

Posted by tiziani
I'm more confused by the reactions in this thread than the thread itself. Just an innocent and naive Libra walking through.

Do you have an alternate view/advice?

the walk out? Just sounds like attention seeking on his part. In general he strikes me as someone who's not confident enough about hoe he sees himself in this twosome. That could be a massive headache for you that only gets worse. Or maybe he's just taking his time.

Yeah.

I figured maybe he had been drinking the night before, and woke up like wtf and hightailed it out.

Embarrassed at his own behavior, I mean; not op's (who calls someone with a kid at 4 am??).

I have to agree with this, though, regardless:

Posted by Impulsv
Specially if u called him on it earlier saying u don't do without planning.

U just did.

click to expand

But I think OP acknowledged this.

Yeah now I am feeling stuck since I let him get away with not sticking to the boundary I set out

I will definitely have to from here forward

You make it sound so simple Rabbit. Could it really BE That Simple? My new 'tude! 😄

Posted by Rabbit
Yes.

It really can be that simple.

Astrology or no astrology...if you are not happy in a relationship you have three options:

1) Stick around and be unhappy and hope things will change.

2) Voice your feelings and concerns to the other person and work on a solution to your issues

3) Leave


Some of these women have this inflated view (negative AND positive) of what Scorpio men are like.

We are not mystical unicorns who will whisk you away to a land of carnal bliss nor are we fire and brimstone demons from the 9th circle of hell intent on devouring your soul.

We're just human beings. Emotional human beings.

But at the end of the day we are still responsible for our actions and we still need to be held accountable for how we treat others. That doesn't require astrological evaluation. That requires being an adult.

That goes for the ladies involved here too... like PR, the game playing angle is a bit off to me.
If you don't like the games he is playing with you how is to trying your own version any better?

Its hard to cut ties, but sometimes its the only way to move forward- stop playing games, and being played/ hurt etc... Karmic energy is an intriguing force.

Otherwise how can you have a chance at a decent relationship without honesty and integrity?