Help with scorpio boyfriend!!!

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by Loc on Tuesday, January 21, 2014 and has 31 replies.
Hello, I've long been reading threads on scorpio men and have tried to apply some of the advice to my own situation but instead I thought I would write my scenario.
So me and my scorp bf, well ex now.. Have been together for 3 years. I believed I would be with him for the rest of my life and we both talked about marriage and children ect.
When we first got together our relationship was enviable.. We were best friends and lovers, did everything together. Understood each other, loved and respected each other.
I had just got out of university and didn't know where my life was going which led to arguments because of my 'personal' unhappiness.. He tried to make me happy but I was just stuck in a rut with No clue what direction I was headed. We continued out relationship anyway with many more ups and downs along the way... But I believe together we had true love.
We split 2 months ago.. And I asked if we could sort it out but he was adamant that 'we don't work' so I left it and thought it to be over (even though it killed me inside to be no contact) then 5 weeks later he contacts me again saying that he missed me blah blah and then we decide to try again, arrange a date and then I couldn't go on the date because I was I'll and it literally did a 360 from there.
I cancelled but arranged another time and in a space of 7hrs he went from talking about us really working if out, going on holiday etc. to this isn't going to work 'I need to focus on myself'
And it has been left like that. I've driven to his house to chat and I've spoken to him on the phone but all he says is he is hurt because of all the arguments and he needs time to let the anger slide and FORGET..
He still talks about the future with me and says 'I'm still in live with you, you are my one' but he has given me no definite time frame or anything...?
I will wait for him to sort jus personal life out but do you think he is doing this to test my love and loyalty to him???

Sorry for long winded I've tried to outline the most prominent bits...
Any insight would be great :-)
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Then there are the repetitious threads like this.

"he was adamant that 'we don't work'"
It's over, move on.
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If he were so adamant... Why did he contact me again? And also why is he continuing to talk about our future..?
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There are no other women involved for sure...
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Isn't that a normal life/relationship to do your own life on both sides and have a relationship along side that..?
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This is not the place to receive relationship advice.
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Well I'm continuing my life regardless.. I have to.. Time doesn't stop. I'm going to leave my love life blank for a while.. I just really wanted to know whether you think he is testing me to some degree.. Because I feel like he is..
I also understand that he is really intense and can only really focus on one thing at a time..
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Thanks 'getmisted' by the way _??
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Yes you are right... I'm just worried of we don't stay in loose contact then all is lost...
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But as you said maybe nothing will change.. Or maybe it will.. Who knows, I guess. Thank you so much getmisted I can't really base the relationship on astrological things anyway.. I guess only time will tell.. God bless x x x
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Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Loc

I also understand that he is really intense and can only really focus on one thing at a time..


None the less, if this is what YOU believe then let him do that.
This leaves you with three choices:
-Enable him. This mean letting him contact you. By doing so, he doesn't stay focused. This means he never makes up his mind and your cycle continues.
-Don't enable him (option 1). Don't answer his calls, texts, emails. Dissappear. Let him focus and make his changes. If your plan is to wait for him, who's to say how long it will take?
-Don't enable him (option 2). Same as above but MOVE ON. Keep your options open. Don't let something special walk by becaused you're set on something that might not have a future.
There you go. Your decision to make.


click to expand



I think this advice is great. I'm curious to know though. I am in a similar situation. If she chooses option 1 or option 2, should she tell him the direction she is going in. I.e. Let him know she is moving on and then show and prove or just move on and don't say anything and let him figure it out when she doesn't answer calls or messages.
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Please give it time...
if i can get to a real vomputer to type ill explain more
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Creative cap.. In my situation that I posted... I've just decided to keep my door open.. I may be judged for that but I adore my guy and if in time I or he do not feel the same.. Then that's that.
I want to keep my love life blank for the minute and really get stuck into everything else but..
If we give each other the space to grow a bit and come back together.. Most of the time it is stronger together, I believe.
Judging from the 7 weeks I've had apart from him already my feelings have only become clearer,calmer and stronger...
So there is nothing to lose in just taking time out for a bit, I hate games.. And I think if you want to be with someone you just got to stick with that in your mind.. And if they don't then maybe leave it blank until you heal.. Or if you feel it in your agenda start dating..?
I don't want to date or try out others so I'm just going to put all the energy I put into him into gym,work, friends and stuff!!
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Posted by AbbyNormal
Please give it time...
if i can get to a real vomputer to type ill explain more



Any advice welcome Abby.. _??
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Posted by Loc
Creative cap.. In my situation that I posted... I've just decided to keep my door open.. I may be judged for that but I adore my guy and if in time I or he do not feel the same.. Then that's that.
I want to keep my love life blank for the minute and really get stuck into everything else but..
If we give each other the space to grow a bit and come back together.. Most of the time it is stronger together, I believe.
Judging from the 7 weeks I've had apart from him already my feelings have only become clearer,calmer and stronger...
So there is nothing to lose in just taking time out for a bit, I hate games.. And I think if you want to be with someone you just got to stick with that in your mind.. And if they don't then maybe leave it blank until you heal.. Or if you feel it in your agenda start dating..?
I don't want to date or try out others so I'm just going to put all the energy I put into him into gym,work, friends and stuff!!



Im so glad!
my scorpio/scorpio moon of 5 years and i have been through a similar situation i think...
he and i were engaged and broke up for 6 months last year... We didnt speak at all and i was devastated being sure he and i would never get back together... we have never been stronger since we took that time to strengthen ourselves and pull our heads out of our asses! Hes always has been and always will be my best friend and lover! I was amazed reading about your situation bc it sounded so much like ours... Painful yet necessary... Cant type more bc im on a phone but pm me if you need to chat more Big Grin
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I would have to agree. I think he was initially enticed by the thought of you moving on, but I think it became clear to him nothing had changed (which is why break ups happen, something was broken and he ain't coming back if things aren't fixed), that you hadn't moved on yet, and why he all of a sudden was "unsure" again. If you guys stand ANY chance of getting back together, you've got to focus on yourself...become a better, more fit, busy and SECURE you. And you don't have to be in touch with him to make that message clear.
Unless he is hitting you up to say that he's made a terrible mistake and wants to sweep you off your feet to get you back, I just wouldn't respond. Couldn't hurt to try.
BTW, I've gotten back my scorpio BF before but ONLY once I moved on and started living my life for me! Hope this helps...
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Posted by LoverlyLibra
I would have to agree. I think he was initially enticed by the thought of you moving on, but I think it became clear to him nothing had changed (which is why break ups happen, something was broken and he ain't coming back if things aren't fixed), that you hadn't moved on yet, and why he all of a sudden was "unsure" again. If you guys stand ANY chance of getting back together, you've got to focus on yourself...become a better, more fit, busy and SECURE you. And you don't have to be in touch with him to make that message clear.
Unless he is hitting you up to say that he's made a terrible mistake and wants to sweep you off your feet to get you back, I just wouldn't respond. Couldn't hurt to try.
BTW, I've gotten back my scorpio BF before but ONLY once I moved on and started living my life for me! Hope this helps...


I think you are right, I think we both have some changes to make..
His sister calls me often and believes this is also a test of love and loyalty.. Like he says to her 'if she loves me then she would wait for me..'
Which is harsh but kind of true I guess..
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Strange that there are so many women commenting what a man would do or wouldn't do.
I wonder how does a woman know what's it like to be a man or how does man think.
I'm bored thus this post.
My own experiences; if I say I'm breaking up or need space, time out etc etc..
It's really just to let you go slowly.
Of course I have doubts but deep down I know it's dead.
So I'll test the waters.
To confirm if my decision is correct.
And to let you off as painlessly as possible, after all we did love and that's precious.
Sorry.
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Posted by SilentGhost
Strange that there are so many women commenting what a man would do or wouldn't do.
I wonder how does a woman know what's it like to be a man or how does man think.
I'm bored thus this post.
My own experiences; if I say I'm breaking up or need space, time out etc etc..
It's really just to let you go slowly.
Of course I have doubts but deep down I know it's dead.
So I'll test the waters.
To confirm if my decision is correct.
And to let you off as painlessly as possible, after all we did love and that's precious.
Sorry.


Well if that were true in each case then I guess everyone who breaks up would never get back together.. When there are 2 stories on this thread alone that state otherwise..
So maybe it isn't always black and white.
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Merely stating my views as a scorpio man.
You asked in a Scorpio board.
I answered.
Of course you are free to accept those views that correspond with your own personal beliefs/views.
And of course that brings you much needed relief and hope.
Please continue the way you are now xD
Cheers !
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Thanks for the responses ladies. My mind agrees with getmisted. I just need to cut off contact with this man and keep it moving. My heart still longs to be with him. Funny thing, I experienced a similar off and on situation with another scorpio man about 6 months. I took the getmisted route that go round and told him to never contact me again and haven't looked back since. He still texts me every two weeks since I broke it off just to say I miss you, happy new year, merry Xmas etc. I don't respond at all. Somehow he thinks this pleasant chatter is going to win me over. I haven't budged yet. I had been trying to get away from him at least 3 months prior to that and it was a struggle. Then one day I just tired of his endless mind games and just did it.
It's a similar situation with the present scorpio. I want more from the relationship. I've made this clear to him. It hasn't happened yet. I stop talking to him for weeks at a time over this. Then we see other and I get these strong feelings and we end up back together. It hurts occasionally, but I still am not quite ready to just pull the plug. I guess I'm waiting for my mind and heat to synchronize. Until that day happens, I just do my best to stay busy and focus on myself.
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Posted by CreativeCap
Thanks for the responses ladies. My mind agrees with getmisted. I just need to cut off contact with this man and keep it moving. My heart still longs to be with him. Funny thing, I experienced a similar off and on situation with another scorpio man about 6 months. I took the getmisted route that go round and told him to never contact me again and haven't looked back since. He still texts me every two weeks since I broke it off just to say I miss you, happy new year, merry Xmas etc. I don't respond at all. Somehow he thinks this pleasant chatter is going to win me over. I haven't budged yet. I had been trying to get away from him at least 3 months prior to that and it was a struggle. Then one day I just tired of his endless mind games and just did it.
It's a similar situation with the present scorpio. I want more from the relationship. I've made this clear to him. It hasn't happened yet. I stop talking to him for weeks at a time over this. Then we see other and I get these strong feelings and we end up back together. It hurts occasionally, but I still am not quite ready to just pull the plug. I guess I'm waiting for my mind and heat to synchronize. Until that day happens, I just do my best to stay busy and focus on myself.
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Women magazines keep on giving advise on female relationship problems..
Years..
And more years..
And they keep on giving advise..
And women keep on buying those very same magazines/books..
And those very same magazines are making millions of women hard earn cash..
And yet do women ever wonder if those advises really truly work, that maybe the very same magazines/books will be out of publication ?.
My mind thus wanders into the realm of possibilities when it's bored.
Endless possibilities. This is just one of them.
I'm done with this thread.



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SilentGhost has a good point and there's this great site called 'BaggageReclaim' that you should have a look at. It does sound as though you are attracting the same type of man. A repeat performance, so to speak, in that they are both stringing you along. That's the question you should spend some time (alone) looking for the answer to. This situation will only cause you hurt and confusion while he is out doing his thing and living life. Seeing you only when its convenient for him. The power will be all of his to have. Do you really want that kind of relationship anyway?
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I hate the woman who writes baggage reclaim!! She is so bitter in her writing, although she raises some interesting points I do not like her style .
And silent ghost if you don't like the thread - stop posting in it!!!
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"Fear of something is at the root of hate for others, and hate within will eventually destroy the hater."
George Washington Carver
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Yeah maybe... Maybe hate was a strong word and yes I'm probably clinging on to the hope that there is hope..
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Loc, I understand your need to have guidance that falls into what you ultimately desire or want, Today.
I emphasize that word "Today". I did not give you advice to hurt you, I have given advice to help you even if it isn't what you want to hear. Trust me when I say that I have been where you are and know the confusion and frustration your feeling. Focus on You and what you Deserve in a relationship. Spend Time seeing how worthy and beautiful YOU are. Write a List of Boundaries and Do Not Let anyone cross them, including yourself. Then learn to recognize when You feel Uncomfortable. This is your Instincts telling you something is Wrong and you need to learn to listen to them. They will guide you, and in their guidance you will learn the lessons life has to teach you.
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Thanks fixed water.. I know I will feel better and will move on and my desires will probably subside but I guess yes right now it isn't what I want and yes you are right with the boundaries...
Ultimately I don't see the point in me desiring someone who doesn't feel the exact same way about me.. Also if someone is prepared to lose me then I should be searching for the person who feels that they can't live without me... Whether that is a romanticised view or not.. That's just me.

Thank you... I guess maybe a part of me thought that this whole situation was a test... But I can't wait 1-5 yrs to find out - nothing ever happens like that.
Thank you x
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Loc, your welcome. Smile, be happy, and appreciate the fact that you recognized an issue and faced it. Can you not feel your power already? Focus on that and be proud of yourself.
X
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Posted by SilentGhost
Women magazines keep on giving advise on female relationship problems..
Years..
And more years..
And they keep on giving advise..
And women keep on buying those very same magazines/books..
And those very same magazines are making millions of women hard earn cash..
And yet do women ever wonder if those advises really truly work, that maybe the very same magazines/books will be out of publication ?.
My mind thus wanders into the realm of possibilities when it's bored.
Endless possibilities. This is just one of them.
I'm done with this thread.






They're great for fire kindling and emergency bog roll. Don't use the perfume inserts.
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