How can a Virgo man coexist with a Scorpio woman?

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by VirgoMerlot on Friday, April 19, 2013 and has 13 replies.
I am seeking advice.
I love my wife, but she insisted on doing things that ruined us financially. Now, we are stuck. One day, I want to leave her. The next, I want to try to make it work, but that only seems to be for the benefit of our 3 year old.
I do not want to leave, but my life sucks, sex is non existent, and all she seems to know how to do is declare war first, and ask questions later. That throws me into defense mode. And, a nasty fight follows. She will come in from work screaming at me, taking her bad day out on me. I have no problem talking to her about her bad day, but if she screams at me, I'd rather fight. I had nothing to do with her bad day.
Its one thing after another, and its a sign that we do not match up in my opinion. But, I don't have the heart to tell her this. Before we did her ideas, we were fine. Now, we moved to her hometown, and I have a crap job because I can't find anything here. 17% unemployment.
What's worse is that I predicted everything that happened. She didn't care. She said she was moving home with or without me. I wish I had told her to go. She would have been back in 2 months tops.
I don't know what to do. I don't really want to leave her. I am at a crossroad. If things don't change both financially and in our relationship very soon, I am going to leave.
The funny thing about this is that I can tell that she loves me with all of her heart. But, she doesn't think things through.
Thoughts please?
I know I was rambling. If I put it all in words, it would take too long to read. I will answer any questions that anyone has.
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You're probably not being man enough to do the right thing, talk calmly to her, make a decision good for all of you and thus also get the sex.
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I have told her that I will give it enough of a chance to get the hell out of this town, and to try again somewhere else..with a better economy and jobs. She started to protest, and I did tell her that I refuse to stay in this town any longer than I have to. She eventually agreed to leave her psychotic family and go somewhere else.
Defense, you're right. I don't have peace of mind right now, but I want to give it one more try. Our problems started when we lost our financial stability. When we get stable again, if things don't get better, I'm gone...and I will be able to afford the lawyer. I am hoping that things will get better though.
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LoL
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Posted by VirgoMerlot
I am seeking advice.
I love my wife, but she insisted on doing things that ruined us financially. Now, we are stuck. One day, I want to leave her. The next, I want to try to make it work, but that only seems to be for the benefit of our 3 year old.
I do not want to leave, but my life sucks, sex is non existent, and all she seems to know how to do is declare war first, and ask questions later. That throws me into defense mode. And, a nasty fight follows. She will come in from work screaming at me, taking her bad day out on me.
Its one thing after another, and its a sign that we do not match up in my opinion. But, I don't have the heart to tell her this. Before we did her ideas, we were fine. Now, we moved to her hometown, and I have a crap job because I can't find anything here. 17% unemployment.
I don't know what to do. I don't really want to leave her. I am at a crossroad. If things don't change both financially and in our relationship very soon, I am going to leave.


Well, I guess you already know, when a woman asks you to marry her (this one being the 2nd)...DON'T until you know what you're dealing with. That was your first mistake and I have to tell you, what you've shared doesn't sound Virgo at all. Regardless, your FIRST priority is to your 3 year old child in this mess. Here's two reasons you need to get the hell out of there. 1.) That 3 year old is a SPONGE. He/she is at the age where they identify their environment by their surroundings/parents. This is the age where they develop mentally/emotionally and if it's a living hell guess what? You are creating a toxic unsafe environment by staying there. 2.) Get the hell out of there, get a job that can provide for your child, and if she does not like it, let her get an attorney. YOU ARE TRYING TO PROVIDE AND GET YOUR FINANCES together. Judges won't frown on that. Start documenting everything that's going on and has gone on. Dates, incidents etc.. Most virgos don't just sit and take the b.s. you are and are known that logic (finances and order) is priority. So what the hell are you doing? Are we only hearing half the story here? Be a father and put that child first, clearly she is not putting her child first from what you shared. She sounds pretty fucking selfish.
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Posted by VirgoMerlot
I have told her that I will give it enough of a chance to get the hell out of this town, and to try again somewhere else..with a better economy and jobs. She started to protest, and I did tell her that I refuse to stay in this town any longer than I have to. She eventually agreed to leave her psychotic family and go somewhere else.
Defense, you're right. I don't have peace of mind right now, but I want to give it one more try. Our problems started when we lost our financial stability. When we get stable again, if things don't get better, I'm gone...and I will be able to afford the lawyer. I am hoping that things will get better though.


Your first priority is to get your logic and reason back. I'm sure you know you have to maintain this sucky job while you find another. Once you do that, and things fall into place, financially take a real hard look at your marriage. If it's failed, accept it and leave for your child's sake. You'll have a real clue if finances start coming in and bills are being paid. Half the stress in this marriage right now sounds like finances and is one of the main causes for divorce. That's why I said, once that's back in order, look at the marriage. If that part of the marriage doesn't change, get the hell out of dodge. DOCUMENT everything no matter what.
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Posted by SatoriFierce
Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
LoL


What's so fucking funny!? Tongue
click to expand


You know Satori you have a pretty decent singing voice smile
Don't let anyone tell you different either.
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Pretty sure I typed it with my fingers?
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Posted by VirgoMerlot
I am seeking advice.
I love my wife, but she insisted on doing things that ruined us financially. Now, we are stuck. One day, I want to leave her. The next, I want to try to make it work, but that only seems to be for the benefit of our 3 year old.
I do not want to leave, but my life sucks, sex is non existent, and all she seems to know how to do is declare war first, and ask questions later. That throws me into defense mode. And, a nasty fight follows. She will come in from work screaming at me, taking her bad day out on me. I have no problem talking to her about her bad day, but if she screams at me, I'd rather fight. I had nothing to do with her bad day.
Its one thing after another, and its a sign that we do not match up in my opinion. But, I don't have the heart to tell her this. Before we did her ideas, we were fine. Now, we moved to her hometown, and I have a crap job because I can't find anything here. 17% unemployment.
What's worse is that I predicted everything that happened. She didn't care. She said she was moving home with or without me. I wish I had told her to go. She would have been back in 2 months tops.
I don't know what to do. I don't really want to leave her. I am at a crossroad. If things don't change both financially and in our relationship very soon, I am going to leave.
The funny thing about this is that I can tell that she loves me with all of her heart. But, she doesn't think things through.
Thoughts please?
I know I was rambling. If I put it all in words, it would take too long to read. I will answer any questions that anyone has.


Try to talk to her when neither of u are in a tense or defensive mode. There's 2 people in this relationship, u do have a voice, if she can't see that u both have to work together during any problems then I think maybe u need some time apart. Maybe counseling will benefit maybe it won't, depends on the severity of damage, either way u both have to invest 100% in or OUT.
our child doesn't need to be in a hostile environment. Money problems always brings conflict in relationships but communication is vital to keep things under control. I wish u the best
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IntriguedScorp...You are doing exactly what my wife does when she flies off the handle. You really think that while things were good, she thought to herself 'Hmm, lets see...I want him to leave me, so I'm going to insist that we move to my hometown, and when he can't find a good job, things will get so miserable that he will leave.' Uhhh, no. No one plans things like that unless its a 'Saw' movie sequel.
June will make 2 years that we have been in this hell hole. 2 years that I have stuck around to try to make my marriage work. 2 years of having one promising job after another fall through for whatever reason...mainly because in this economy, a company can really pick and choose who they want, and since I live an hour from a real city, the companies that I have applied to seem to want to hire someone locally.
As for the attorney comment, I was merely replying to Me Defense who brought it up, making a point that regardless of what happens, we still have to get the hell out of here first. I would rather have things go back to the way they were. I don't want to leave her, but I refuse to keep going through this. So, we need to get out of this town, and back on our feet. Then, we need to see if things can change. If not, then I'm gone. What is so hard to believe about that?
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She has been with the same job for 6 years. She was able to transfer hers, and will be able to transfer it again.
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We are so far behind on bills that we can't even think about moving right now. I have told her that when we can, we are going elsewhere. She started to resist, but I told her that we tried it her way, despite my objections, and it blew up in our faces. Next time we are able, we do it my way.
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Posted by Scorpiorabbit
ScorpioChica is wise...for a Yankees fan Winking


Actually I'm not a fan, just tried on the hat lol
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