How to make your red-neck a better red-neck

The man is a complex creature by nature. They have deep emotions and insecurities that sometimes seem very hard to fix or satisfy. By initiating these simple rules, you will begin to learn how to better deal with and understand your man:

Make him a sandwich in a degrading way: Studies show that making your man a sandwich naked while letting him belittle you will boost his fragile ego and give him a huge sense of false security. Critical for bettering a fagot.

Play with his balls: Now I'm not saying you have to do this 24/7 because that's just not practical. For starters, just play with them for 23 hours a day and you'll notice instant results. Tell him how big you think his balls are and then suck his dick. Tell him you enjoy it, even though we all know you don't.

Don't talk so much: Fragile peach-fuzzed fagots already assume what you have to say is going to be pretty bad. And it probably is because he's a fragile peach-fuzzed fagot. So just don't talk. This is an easy rule to follow while you have dicks and balls in your mouth.

Be pregnant and barefoot regularly: Then while he's drinking beer and eating McDonald's, also tell him how good of a provider he is by admiring his defrauded disability checks. You'll find life will get much worse later. But in the mean time it'll make him feel just dandy. Super-dandy, in fact.

Be a good pet: Try not to ruin his mood by having a silly opinion. Women can't possibly have worth-while opinions?!?!?!?!?!

Secure and Change: Then all of a sudden stop doing all of these things. Begin to nag and complain about everything. Sleep with his brother until he starts a business and pays you to be the new man of the house. Then bring up all his faults when you've saved up enough of his money and get a divorce.

You have now created a womanizing bastard. But he will be productive now.

Thank you. I enjoyed writing it, knowing only you would appreciate the humor.