Is he trying to tell me it's over?

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by Beebee620 on Thursday, August 8, 2013 and has 32 replies.
My guy and I have been together since the beginning of the year. Things have been great- he is amazing and makes me happier than I ever thought possible. It has been a little rough lately because his job has become more demanding and has taken more of his time, so it has been tougher to get time together. In the past few weeks, it has felt to me as if I was getting the brush off to an extent, but I chalked it up to his being busy at work, and having friends in town for the race. The day before we had plans to see each other, he did say he missed me, which I hadn't heard from him in a while. When we did finally get to see each other the next day, I mentioned he had been quiet lately (we usually talk/ text a bit throughout the day). He said he had been thinking a lot about the future, and about us. He stated he felt like he needed to evaluate his level of commitment to this relationship, and feels as though we have plateaued and he isn??t sure how to progress from here. He said he cares about me, and loves spending time together, and he knows how much I care about him, but he doesn??t want to get farther down the road and be getting more serious and then realize this isn??t what he wants. We both want the same things for the future- to get married, have a family. But essentially, he said he??s not sure he sees me in his future. I really don??t even know what to think about all of it. I can fully respect the not being sure part, as I??m not 100% sure that it will work out (as I??m not sure anyone ever is), but I know I want to try. I can??t help but feel there is something else going on -something with being overly stressed from work maybe? We kind of left it open ended too, so I feel like I'm in limbo because he never said its over. I just don??t understand why if you care about someone, and have fun with them and genuinely enjoy their company, why walk away? This all happened about a week and a half ago (July 30), and I made up my mind then that if he wanted time and space to think, that's exactly what I would give him. I haven't initiated any contact with him. Monday (August 5) he texted me asking how I was. We kept it short, he was sure to tell me that he went to a concert with some of his staff, and has been busy with planning work events. He ended with saying he was "just seeing how you are....." Any insight for me on what he might be thinking/ what I should do? I don't want to lose him, but fear I already have.
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He's a Scorpio (nov 16) and I'm a Gemini, barely (June 20). I tend to have more emotion than most geminis I know.
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Ask for clarification, because it sure sounds like he's not entirely too sure if he's up to juggle a relationship (with you) with everything going on.
It's kinda fucked that he left it open like that. What a freaking coward.
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That was my thought too- that he's feeling overwhelmed and it's coming out on me because everything was great before the last couple weeks. My plan was to give him a few weeks to decompress and hopefully have a clearer idea of what he wants, then talk to him.
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I dunno about a few weeks, but maybe a week or so and approach it again. It sounds like a passive way of breaking up with you, especially with how he asked how you're doing.
And if I were you, I'd be highly offended. It doesn't matter how busy a guy is, if he's that into you, he wouldn't be dropping you due to life getting busy. He would attempt to make it work because he wants you around. It'd be one thing if you'd just been together a few months- then it could be one of both - not down to juggle or doesn't like you enough to keep you around.
Not to say that it doesn't happen- guys realizing that they just don't have time for a relationship, but seriously, what the hell? "Hmm, life is getting too hectic. What should I drop first? OH I KNOW, MY GIRLFRIEND! SHE'S TOTALLY DISPOSABLE, LOL"
The fuck is that logic??
I hate to be womp womp, but this, combined with being "too busy" lately isn't promising overall. Hope it works out, but you might want to brace yourself so it doesn't side swipe you.
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I leave tomorrow for vacation and will get back Wednesday, he also has a trip planned a few days next week so maybe after we both get back?
And I am totally hurt and was completely blindsided by the way the conversation went. He also admitted that I have been more patient and understanding about his ever changing work schedule than most, and a lot of people would have walked away a long time ago. His schedule has both day and night shifts (10a-6p or 5p-2a) and a lot of times he has to go in early or stay late to train new staff, do payroll etc. He would always send me his schedule so that I would know what days he would have available for us to spend together.
Do you think he might just be scared? Or just decided I'm not worth his time?
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Who knows.
Given he's not being a flighty, mind changing tard about it, he could just be overwhelmed. How old is he?
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43- never been married, doesnt have any children.
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Wooow. That's kinda a red flag, yo.
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He said 4 of the last 5 people he dated cheated on him. I asked in the very beginning why he wasnt married, and he said he just hasn't found the right person yet.
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Dear beebee,
'my guy' has been acting same lately. In my heart I feel it's over. As much as I want to confront him, I also feel I don't want to go there anymore.
I will just let it be and I will recommend you same.
Your intuition is probably picking up the right vipes. He insinuated that he can't see himself with you in the future. Unfortunately, FUCKING guys seem to be ruling the dating scene even if they are dumb, ugly and we initially don't find them attractive at all or at our level. Unfortunately sex complicates things for women feeling wise.
Let him go! The more you can be nonchalant about things, the better. You will definitely like yourself more in the future for not having responded to him any further.
If you don't respond anymore and when Venus enters Libra August 20, and you find him calling you again... PLEASE... don't answer!
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He is not jaded. Don't try to find excuses for him.
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Posted by Beebee620
He said he had been thinking a lot about the future, and about us. He stated he felt like he needed to evaluate his level of commitment to this relationship, and feels as though we have plateaued and he isn??t sure how to progress from here. He said he cares about me, and loves spending time together, and he knows how much I care about him, but he doesn??t want to get farther down the road and be getting more serious and then realize this isn??t what he wants. But essentially, he said he??s not sure he sees me in his future. I just don??t understand why if you care about someone, and have fun with them and genuinely enjoy their company, why walk away? T


I am assuming from what you have posted that you have been seeing this man since jan'13,approx 7-8 months.That is too short a time for a scorpio male who was burned 4 times to know for sure if he is willing to be with you.
In the last 8 months,things have been going 'rather well' for him and you and he is at a stage where he 'might' give more of himself to the relationship.This 'giving more' is dangerous because it might being happiness but also makes him vulnerable to intense heartache.
He is in indecision mode right now.
Let him know how you feel,clearly in preferably a phone chat as against text/messaging.
Leave it at that,give him time(say a week or two) to reflect and then demand a clear answer about whether or not he wants to continue.
We scorpio folk like straight forwardness so he will give you a reply for sure.
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No no no no no.... hello!
Don't tell him how you feel!
He knows...
Let's cut the BS, shall we?
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Posted by ellessque
venus enters libra on August 20th?
shit.


yeah! Sad
hell .. I need to protect my dear ole sweet heart.
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the other forum of 217 responses just talking nonsense. So will post till on top.
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fucking go mad!... write him all lunatic stuff until he thinks you are lunatic.
HE IS the lunatic for leading you on! Fucking asshole!
Sorry I'm so angry Sad
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I hope for guys their bones rott!... I hope they get the most fucking lunatic girls who give a shit and they run after them until they die!
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I hope they don't get sex for life.
I hope they get heartache as daily lesson!
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actually I am crying, you see...
It's never pretended.
There are times when I'm really low and there are times when I can handle things. But let's say like beebee... she was pretty level headed and then this guy comes and
oh vey... suddenly changes his mind. WHY?
WHY.. didn't he know before he lead us?
Why on fucking mother earth.. do we have to take his.. oh.. I have to be better... why?

Sorry guys. I'm not good in getting over stuff like that. And I hope men get their acts together before they get all 'mixed-fucking-up' on how they feel. Cuz it's no fun.
Assholes!
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Why is Scorpio man making you feel better?
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I have this Scorp man making me feel all better.
I ignore him basically.
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Why?
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ah.. I know smile
Just fighting him at the moment. Sorry.
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Gosh.. it's so hard to fight off love.
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Beebee... go ahead! Call him a fucking liar!
Swear at him.. go all crazy becausy you only have a chance once to tell him what you really feel when you are all upset and he pretends to be the cool guy.. but actually he is effing moron for being judgemental.
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I will not regret giving you this advice.
you may regret not following my advice.
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I don't want him to think I'm crazy- because I'm not. I'm going to try to enjoy my vacation, let him enjoy his, then talk to him to see where he's at and what he wants.
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ok, cool! smile
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Posted by FUM
Beebee... go ahead! Call him a fucking liar!
Swear at him.. go all crazy becausy you only have a chance once to tell him what you really feel when you are all upset and he pretends to be the cool guy.. but actually he is effing moron for being judgemental.



...the fuck?
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lol yesterday was my 'fuck' day.
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Posted by Beebee620
I don't want him to think I'm crazy- because I'm not. I'm going to try to enjoy my vacation, let him enjoy his, then talk to him to see where he's at and what he wants.


Good.
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