is it me or them scorpio thoughts

why is it when I meet any guy and get into 4-6 month relationship with them they all say that I'm the one and if there's any one in this world they would chose to spend their life with it would be me, and that I have the purest heart ever, and the relationship is so good and we click so well, and they luv me but the problem is that when it comes to defining the relationship path they all say we are not ready for a full commitment, the funny thing is that even after break up non of them became in a relationship, so I really don't know, that makes me wonder even more, the fact that they are not lying,and the thing is that all of them still contact me some how they still want me even after the break up to be part of their lives and I don't mind because one day that person changed my life in a way and made me happy. BUT I'm done with having a semi-boyfriend for 4 months and get attached to them and hearing them say I'm the most incredible person they ever met but when it comes to reality the same thing happens again!!! am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people? or is some thing wrong with me? !! could it be that I'm too nice cuz I couldn't help but wonder why the hell this is happening to me every single time !!!!!!

Posted by Nemesis
venus in scorp?!

I'll take your word for it, cuz I can't go through and read again..

Posted by Nemesis
venus in scorp?!

No Mercury in Scorpio

The key words stood out "purest heart" & "full committment"..and "why".

nuff said 🙂

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people?"

possibly.

like attracts like.....are you emotionally available?

not at the beginning of every relationship, because all those guys i met it usually start as friendship, attraction,then semi relationship, so i really didn't give it all at the beginning because i was always still recovering from the last relationship i was engaged in. for example the guy i'm with right now "not actually in a committed relationship" we are together for almost 7 months now and i started to feel something deep about him in about 2 months ago, and when i told him about it he wasn't ready for anything he just want things to be the same way.

Posted by hanhan

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people?"

possibly.

like attracts like.....are you emotionally available?

not at the beginning of every relationship, because all those guys i met it usually start as friendship, attraction,then semi relationship, so i really didn't give it all at the beginning because i was always still recovering from the last relationship i was engaged in. for example the guy i'm with right now "not actually in a committed relationship" we are together for almost 7 months now and i started to feel something deep about him in about 2 months ago, and when i told him about it he wasn't ready for anything he just want things to be the same way.

click to expand

Are you the one that normally ends the relationships?

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
oh wait, you aren't the OP!

*patiently waits*

I was going to post "Venus in Libra" as my guess... lol

Posted by starlover
All my exes come back to me lol ~~ cant live with me, cant live without me 😛


Yes it is the intense effect we have on men ~~ alluring but impossible to live with

This is so true... we are just so hard to forget 🙂

Posted by hanhan

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people?"

possibly.

like attracts like.....are you emotionally available?

not at the beginning of every relationship, because all those guys i met it usually start as friendship, attraction,then semi relationship, so i really didn't give it all at the beginning because i was always still recovering from the last relationship i was engaged in. for example the guy i'm with right now "not actually in a committed relationship" we are together for almost 7 months now and i started to feel something deep about him in about 2 months ago, and when i told him about it he wasn't ready for anything he just want things to be the same way.

click to expand

That's it right there in bolded. You aren't that intense in the beginning and hold back. Then once you start to feel something, you change. All of a sudden maybe you smother them? Or become more intense? Or push them for more? It has to do with a change on your end, I think. Now that you're aware, maybe you can work with it.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
oh wait, you aren't the OP!

*patiently waits*

Hehe! (and...)

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people?"

possibly.

like attracts like.....are you emotionally available?

click to expand

+1. The OPs answers suggest this^^^.....

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Oh ffs. Love not fucking live and spot not fucking spit. Jfc autocorrect. Lol

LOL! I was wondering what the HELL is she talking about. Gotta love autocorrect.

curious why people are predicting the op has venus in libra?!?

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
oh wait, you aren't the OP!

*patiently waits*

Hehe! (and...)

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people?"

possibly.

like attracts like.....are you emotionally available?

+1. The OPs answers suggest this^^^.....

click to expand

*Christ!.* I meant this may be the issue. Not being emotionally available.

I have a Venus in Libra, and hmmmmmmm...... this is all sounding a little familiar!

I also agree with what IS has said that it's there right away or it isn't. I Love Zing! 😄

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
oh wait, you aren't the OP!

*patiently waits*

Hehe! (and...)

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people?"

possibly.

like attracts like.....are you emotionally available?

+1. The OPs answers suggest this^^^.....

*Christ!.* I meant this may be the issue. Not being emotionally available.

click to expand

That's what I think... she isn't emotionally available and I asked who did the breaking up because maybe it's abandonment issues. Fear of Abandonment will attract abandoner's and/or the person will abandon.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
interesting 🙂

I'm glad you didn't say libra 😄

venus in Liba 😢 is that a bad news?

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by hanhan

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people?"

possibly.

like attracts like.....are you emotionally available?

not at the beginning of every relationship, because all those guys i met it usually start as friendship, attraction,then semi relationship, so i really didn't give it all at the beginning because i was always still recovering from the last relationship i was engaged in. for example the guy i'm with right now "not actually in a committed relationship" we are together for almost 7 months now and i started to feel something deep about him in about 2 months ago, and when i told him about it he wasn't ready for anything he just want things to be the same way.

Are you the one that normally ends the relationships?

click to expand

well, my first boyfriend "ex-fiance" broke up with me in the most cruel way, and i believe after being dumbed this is what happened to me with all the other guys. and yea i usually the one who ends the relationship with them cuz apparently if i didn't i'll be in deeper shit cuz u all know how scorpios are when they love some one, and how it hurts when they don't feel the same towards you, and you u don't want ppl to tell you stop being a doormat how can u be with relationship that u give and get nothing in return bla bla bla so that's why i end it. i'm in a complicated situation here guys i really need big help

Posted by hanhan

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
"Am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people?"

possibly.

like attracts like.....are you emotionally available?

not at the beginning of every relationship, because all those guys i met it usually start as friendship, attraction,then semi relationship, so i really didn't give it all at the beginning because i was always still recovering from the last relationship i was engaged in. for example the guy i'm with right now "not actually in a committed relationship" we are together for almost 7 months now and i started to feel something deep about him in about 2 months ago, and when i told him about it he wasn't ready for anything he just want things to be the same way.

click to expand

That's probably the problem right there. Any guy that keeps dating you if you're not emotionally available, is someone who's not to bothered by that. If they're ok with it, it's likely because they're the same way.

Try not to jump right into dating right after ending things with a guy. Let yourself be single for a bit until you're completely over the last guy, to the point where u don't even think of him anymore.

And once you get back to dating, be clear about your desire for a relationship up front. You'll scare off the player types, but not the real deal types.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I wish someone who has had relationships with those that had venus in libra could shed some light on this. There are so many similarities between us in the relationship department, it would be so helpful to see how we might be perceived by others.

We have the same 'emotional unavailability' type deal going on as the other air venuses (Aqua and Gemini).

....and I can sit here and tell you I've consciously tried both ways and the same results were produced for me.

I've been closed up, I've been completely open. It just doesn't seem to matter.

I don't know if we come off as too aloof and not 'needing' those rancid 'titles' everybody else does.....even though on some level we want them.....but they aren't the central focus most of the time.

Do are partners just not take us seriously enough because we can't cling and smother?

Those "rancid titles" exist for a reason. They clarify intentions. People with the same intentions can act so differently, that it's not wise to rely on guessing or "actions". A guy could do the same things for his fuck buddy that another guy would only do for his girlfriend.

Unfortunately I've abandoned a Venus in Libra guy before because he was so aloof that I had no idea that he considered me his girlfriend. I didn't even bother to break up with him. I just started dating someone else. And when he contacted me one day, he was horrified to find out that I had someone else now. Right under his nose, I had been dating and gotten serious with someone else.

He was extremely upset, but I found it amusing because I never even took him seriously. As far as I was concerned, he was just a "whatever" friend or something. Whereas he apparently thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

That's why the titles are necessary to know beforehand.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

Posted by munchkin

Those "rancid titles" exist for a reason. They clarify intentions. People with the same intentions can act so differently, that it's not wise to rely on guessing or "actions". A guy could do the same things for his fuck buddy that another guy would only do for his girlfriend.

I know they exist for a reason, but the air in me refuses to demand a title. In a lot of cases, it just makes me feel like I'm claiming some weird possession of someone of which I'm not entitled to do....because I don't want the same imposed on me.

I'm all for fidelity, monogamy and all the things that go with it (libra loves the coupling, scorpio loves the loyalty)....but I hate when it all has to be spoken out loud. I clam up. I become irrational. I become a hot mess, tbh. NOT because I don't want it....it's clearly a fear of some sort. I'd rather have it be implied quietly....but that has certainly done me no favours in the relationships that have meant the most to me.

Unfortunately I've abandoned a Venus in Libra guy before because he was so aloof that I had no idea that he considered me his girlfriend. I didn't even bother to break up with him. I just started dating someone else. And when he came back, he was horrified to find out that I had someone else now.

😱

click to expand

That's exactly what i think when it comes to titles !!!!!!

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

Posted by munchkin

Those "rancid titles" exist for a reason. They clarify intentions. People with the same intentions can act so differently, that it's not wise to rely on guessing or "actions". A guy could do the same things for his fuck buddy that another guy would only do for his girlfriend.

I know they exist for a reason, but the air in me refuses to demand a title. In a lot of cases, it just makes me feel like I'm claiming some weird possession of someone of which I'm not entitled to do....because I don't want the same imposed on me.

I'm all for fidelity, monogamy and all the things that go with it (libra loves the coupling, scorpio loves the loyalty)....but I hate when it all has to be spoken out loud. I clam up. I become irrational. I become a hot mess, tbh. NOT because I don't want it....it's clearly a fear of some sort. I'd rather have it be implied quietly....but that has certainly done me no favours in the relationships that have meant the most to me.

Unfortunately I've abandoned a Venus in Libra guy before because he was so aloof that I had no idea that he considered me his girlfriend. I didn't even bother to break up with him. I just started dating someone else. And when he came back, he was horrified to find out that I had someone else now.

😱

click to expand

Did you ever experience a very jealous and possessive partner? I did, and it definitely made me feel squirmy and cagey about the idea of being "owned" for a while.

But in a healthy relationship, there's no "ownership". Girlfriend and boyfriend means just that - not owner and captive. 😛

Unfortunately the psycho jealous nuts in this world ruin it for the others.

Has the OP confirmed her Venus placement?

Blabbing? No.

Expounding? Yes. 😄

Posted by Andalusia
Has the OP confirmed her Venus placement?

venus in libra

Munchkin or anybody:

Can u please give some more insight on what a guy with this placement would b like?

Thanks 🙂

And I lurve you, elle's bells!

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
anywhoooooo *diverts attention off of self*

to answer your initial question....

"is it me or them"

I believe it's a combination of both.

It's you, because you may be giving off a vibe of being emotionally unavailable and sometimes 'doormatish'....which I'm unable to offer advice because I am the same way and I find it really hard to change that about myself and more than likely will need a partner who sees this and helps me with it instead of taking the option to use it against me.

It's them, because you will attract those that are similar to you......or will take advantage of your kind nature....you are like a bulls eye to both.

Until you navigate and reconcile those things about you, the pattern will not go away.

I thought I had nipped it....but I didn't. Felt on top of the world when I thought I did...but it was a false alarm.....I did learn some valuable things about myself by being 'emotionally available' though....

So, I feel your pain. You just have to keep trying. Do things that make you uncomfortable (YES...UNCOMFORTABLE), shake it up a bit....say "No!"....ask a man to define (you won't die, I promise....but you may need a paper bag to hyperventilate....lol)

....and....with the venus in libra 'give and take'....keeping score thing....it does build resentment. Expectations probably need to be calibrated. It's okay to be nice but it's also okay for others to be nice to you too.

that's all I got. I'm a work in progress too 🙂

thank for the great insight, i knew a lot of myself right now i'll try to improve so aspects in my personality as much as i can. it's good to know that i'm not in this situation alone. hope one day we will work this out and find that person that loves us as much as we love them.

Posted by scorpgal76
Munchkin or anybody:

Can u please give some more insight on what a guy with this placement would b like?

Thanks 🙂

I only have had experience with 2 of them.

1 was the aforementioned guy I ditched. He was Scorp Sun, Venus Libra.

The other is a Virgo Sun. He's actually a good friend of mine, but he keeps yearning for me, even though I'm already taken. I think he's attracted to the unavailable.

What I gather is that they want what they can't have, and get bored when they do get it

Posted by munchkin

Posted by scorpgal76
Munchkin or anybody:

Can u please give some more insight on what a guy with this placement would b like?

Thanks 🙂

I only have had experience with 2 of them.

1 was the aforementioned guy I ditched. He was Scorp Sun, Venus Libra.

The other is a Virgo Sun. He's actually a good friend of mine, but he keeps yearning for me, even though I'm already taken. I think he's attracted to the unavailable.

What I gather is that they want what they can't have, and get bored when they do get it

click to expand

I don't like the sound of that 😢

Have u ever both been available at the same time & did he lose interest then?

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
sorry!

I posted in the wrong thread.

Darn!!! I'm still hoping for a lil more insight 🙂