Jealousy and Insecurity in the Scorpio Mind

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by phoenix1rising on Wednesday, July 10, 2013 and has 30 replies.
Heyy Scorps!
I have some majorly important questions when it comes to jealousy and insecurity. I'm a Scorpio with a Scorpio moon, so of course everything is twice as intense for me. Not to mention a Leo rising on top of that. Luckily my Sag Venus & Libra Mars keep me a little open and understanding. Anyway, I'm currently seeing a lovely and totally trustworthy Scorpio man (but he does have a Gem moon!) and although I have every reason to trust him, I find it incredibly hard to trust ANY man. I tend to make up dramas in my head, investigate hardcore until I come to some sort of truth or conclusion. I spent hours yesterday looking up compatibility charts of my Scorp man and close Cap friend, trying to see if they might be better together, therefore I should get out now before any cheating/betrayal occurs. I'm very self aware, so I KNOW this is crazy talk and behavior that will not serve me well, but it's such a pattern for me. I'm just wondering if any Scorps out there have been in similar situations or had similar bouts of investigative jealousy/insecurity/fears of betrayal. It's the feeling of: wow this is going really well so I don't wanna get hurt by you, because it would be the most painful thing. So I tend to look for reasons or things that make me take a step back and remind myself of all the negative possibilities. Can you Scorps out there (or Scorp moons, or anyone) relate?
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Jealousy and insecurity comes from ones sense or fear of a lack of control, you are out in deeper waters. It takes great self-reflection, to reach the point where one can recognize, to be aware of the onset and triggers of said emotions. Then it takes time and patience on the self, to harness, to train your own mind to overcome them, to control their urges, to reason with in yourself, you have to fight that battle each and every single time. Your mind is a very powerful tool, often unfulfilled to its full potential, use it, mull it, and you will find yourself empowered, to be able to suppressed, eventually riding pass every crashing wave that looms of gloom and doom. Once you have that control of self, you will feel free, you will feel much stronger and happier smile
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You have the exact chart as my ex crazy!
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Being a scorp moon, it's very hard for me to trust people. Before I trust them, I observe everything they do. It all gets stored in my mind somewhere. Then I take all the "evidence" I've collected and decided whether they are trustworthy or not.
Once I trust, I trust completely and totally unless they give me a reason not to. They could tell me the sky is falling and I'd probably say "really?", before going to investigate on my own. However, i still constantly observe, i cant really stop it. Lol once I trust them there is no jealousy, insecurity, or possessiveness.
If the trust is broken, trying to rebuild it is pointless. I'll be a raging insecure paranoid lunatic. I won't believe anything that is said. And i despise feeling insecure, it's not natural for me, so i'll have no choice but to end the relationship. So I guess it's very all or nothing, sadly.
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Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Jealousy and insecurity comes from ones sense or fear of a lack of control, you are out in deeper waters. It takes great self-reflection, to reach the point where one can recognize, to be aware of the onset and triggers of said emotions. Then it takes time and patience on the self, to harness, to train your own mind to overcome them, to control their urges, to reason with in yourself, you have to fight that battle each and every single time.



100+.
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Posted by cunninglinguist
Posted by Sag89
You have the exact chart as my ex crazy!


Lol. Hopefully for the OP, you meant to put a period after "ex"..
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Oh yea haha sorry I didn't see that
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Posted by phoenix1rising
Heyy Scorps!
I have some majorly important questions when it comes to jealousy and insecurity. I'm a Scorpio with a Scorpio moon, so of course everything is twice as intense for me. Not to mention a Leo rising on top of that. Luckily my Sag Venus & Libra Mars keep me a little open and understanding. Anyway, I'm currently seeing a lovely and totally trustworthy Scorpio man (but he does have a Gem moon!) and although I have every reason to trust him, I find it incredibly hard to trust ANY man. I tend to make up dramas in my head, investigate hardcore until I come to some sort of truth or conclusion. I spent hours yesterday looking up compatibility charts of my Scorp man and close Cap friend, trying to see if they might be better together, therefore I should get out now before any cheating/betrayal occurs. I'm very self aware, so I KNOW this is crazy talk and behavior that will not serve me well, but it's such a pattern for me. I'm just wondering if any Scorps out there have been in similar situations or had similar bouts of investigative jealousy/insecurity/fears of betrayal. It's the feeling of: wow this is going really well so I don't wanna get hurt by you, because it would be the most painful thing. So I tend to look for reasons or things that make me take a step back and remind myself of all the negative possibilities. Can you Scorps out there (or Scorp moons, or anyone) relate?


Investigative jealousy, not exactly. Investigative fear of betrayal, most definitely.
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Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Jealousy and insecurity comes from ones sense or fear of a lack of control, you are out in deeper waters. It takes great self-reflection, to reach the point where one can recognize, to be aware of the onset and triggers of said emotions. Then it takes time and patience on the self, to harness, to train your own mind to overcome them, to control their urges, to reason with in yourself, you have to fight that battle each and every single time. Your mind is a very powerful tool, often unfulfilled to its full potential, use it, mull it, and you will find yourself empowered, to be able to suppressed, eventually riding pass every crashing wave that looms of gloom and doom. Once you have that control of self, you will feel free, you will feel much stronger and happier smile


+1
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Posted by phoenix1rising
Heyy Scorps!
I have some majorly important questions when it comes to jealousy and insecurity. I'm a Scorpio with a Scorpio moon, so of course everything is twice as intense for me. Not to mention a Leo rising on top of that. Luckily my Sag Venus & Libra Mars keep me a little open and understanding. Anyway, I'm currently seeing a lovely and totally trustworthy Scorpio man (but he does have a Gem moon!) and although I have every reason to trust him, I find it incredibly hard to trust ANY man. I tend to make up dramas in my head, investigate hardcore until I come to some sort of truth or conclusion. I spent hours yesterday looking up compatibility charts of my Scorp man and close Cap friend, trying to see if they might be better together, therefore I should get out now before any cheating/betrayal occurs. I'm very self aware, so I KNOW this is crazy talk and behavior that will not serve me well, but it's such a pattern for me. I'm just wondering if any Scorps out there have been in similar situations or had similar bouts of investigative jealousy/insecurity/fears of betrayal. It's the feeling of: wow this is going really well so I don't wanna get hurt by you, because it would be the most painful thing. So I tend to look for reasons or things that make me take a step back and remind myself of all the negative possibilities. Can you Scorps out there (or Scorp moons, or anyone) relate?


Yes, I have the same trait of seeking negative before it happens, something like that. It is ever so tiring. My brain is always inspecting and looking instead of enjoying and resting. I have a cap moon though. This crazy talk and behaviour does not get me anywhere. No one understands. We are the best lovers if one could just accept and understand our small negative annoyances.
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Posted by kalin
yes, i'm very insecure in relationships and I need the other person's affirmation constantly.
any tips to help with the insecurity, guys??

do you sometimes push ppl away because of the insecurities /fear of the unpredictable future .. N act n say things impulsively even though you don't actually mean them ?
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Posted by kalin
yes, i'm very insecure in relationships and I need the other person's affirmation constantly.
any tips to help with the insecurity, guys??


Perhaps take some time for yourself to figure out the source of your insecurities (e.g. bad energy, negative messages, negative people in your life, lack of confidence, etc.) and then work on fixing or getting rid of those things.
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Posted by phoenix1rising
Heyy Scorps!
I have some majorly important questions when it comes to jealousy and insecurity. I'm a Scorpio with a Scorpio moon, so of course everything is twice as intense for me. Not to mention a Leo rising on top of that. Luckily my Sag Venus & Libra Mars keep me a little open and understanding. Anyway, I'm currently seeing a lovely and totally trustworthy Scorpio man (but he does have a Gem moon!) and although I have every reason to trust him, I find it incredibly hard to trust ANY man. I tend to make up dramas in my head, investigate hardcore until I come to some sort of truth or conclusion. I spent hours yesterday looking up compatibility charts of my Scorp man and close Cap friend, trying to see if they might be better together, therefore I should get out now before any cheating/betrayal occurs. I'm very self aware, so I KNOW this is crazy talk and behavior that will not serve me well, but it's such a pattern for me. I'm just wondering if any Scorps out there have been in similar situations or had similar bouts of investigative jealousy/insecurity/fears of betrayal. It's the feeling of: wow this is going really well so I don't wanna get hurt by you, because it would be the most painful thing. So I tend to look for reasons or things that make me take a step back and remind myself of all the negative possibilities. Can you Scorps out there (or Scorp moons, or anyone) relate?


I'm a scorp moon and I tend to do the same thing. -.- - I just begin to breathe and tell myself: BE LOGICAL. THINK LOGICAL. STOP BEING IRRATIONAL. - Seriously... my ex's really fucked me up in the head... but I can't entirely blame them... the best thing to do is just stop, and think. think think think. and breathe! smile
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ps: is it weird that a song just came on my Pandora called, "Just Breathe"
Telepopmusik - Just Breathe
It's an old tune but it's beautiful and I find it funny that it just came on as I submitted my last comment...
"just breathe" Winking
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Irrestible scorpio. I love your description. It is fascinating . A bull like myself have no idea.. How do you know If a Scorpio In your life is in a trust cycle? How do I know I am being tested ?
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Posted by kalin
Posted by saweetz1988
Posted by kalin
yes, i'm very insecure in relationships and I need the other person's affirmation constantly.
any tips to help with the insecurity, guys??

do you sometimes push ppl away because of the insecurities /fear of the unpredictable future .. N act n say things impulsively even though you don't actually mean them ?


YES!! All the time!! I know I'm crazy but I can't control it!!
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. * sign * ..Sad its almost like you say things in the opposite manner to protect yourself from getting hurt. E.g. Say you don't care ( even if u do) say you don't love them ( even though you do) ? It is very difficult for another person to hear those things .. We don't know if what u r saying is right or wrong.. I know that you also go back and apologize . So it's a back and forth behavior... I feel you are scared to trust and give it all because you are afraid they have the power to hurt you .. So instead of them hurtin you first.. You decide to take n easy way out and hurt them first.. then you feel unsatisfied and unloved either way... ?!? It's a lose/lose situation. >
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Posted by kalin
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by kalin
yes, i'm very insecure in relationships and I need the other person's affirmation constantly.
any tips to help with the insecurity, guys??


Perhaps take some time for yourself to figure out the source of your insecurities (e.g. bad energy, negative messages, negative people in your life, lack of confidence, etc.) and then work on fixing or getting rid of those things.


I don't know if it has anything to do with my first relationship. I had my first bf when I was 16. He cheated on me and lied, and ever since, I just couldn't trust people. He told me he had to work on Valentine's Day, but my sister and her bf ran into him in a movie theater with another girl in his arm... That totally traumatized me. I was very naive back then and thought I only want to be with one guy all my life and we will get married one day... I don't think about him anymore, but ever since, I am just paranoid whenever I'm seeing someone. Whenever I'm not with my guy, I create stories in my mind with/without basis in reality... do you think there's a way to fix that?
click to expand


Well, 1) what exactly do you think needs to be worked on (or fixed)? Your inability to trust other people? Your unwillingness to forgive yourself for being young and picking the wrong guy? Your inability to set realistic expectations or stay in the present? 2) are you willing to do the work required and can you be patient with yourself as you go through this process?
These are all rhetorical questions that you will need to answer honestly for yourself, which is why I suggested taking the time to figure this out. Don't approach this from a belief that something is "wrong" with you. Everyone has some sort of insecurity. Different guy, slightly different scenario, similar thought process around the same age and you could have been talking about me. There are some issues as a Scorp (e.g. trust, allowing yourself to make mistakes, being willing to take a risk with your heart) that you will always have to "check" and work on. It isn't something that just ends imo. I don't say this to discourage you, but to highlighting the fact that it's a process, so don't beat yourself up if it takes some time.
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Posted by kalin
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Posted by kalin
PS. We don't usually cheat to test. I was extremely broken when I met that guy so I went extreme, just so you know.

smile I know you guys are as loyal as Taurus's are smile
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@.Karin . I totally understand where you are coming from . I am not being a doormat ...I will point it out when I feel he's not treating me right. I will either go silent or respond in a calm manner.. Not being emotional or anything or aggressive. He has
??done a few more tests on me which I find funny at times. However I will probably walk away as soon as I find him cheating on me which I doubt very much . I know he is so broken !! N I rest assure him all these times I am not going anywhere n when I say I will be there .. I WILL be there ! I feel like he had his first ever love with his first girlfriend who he knew since he was 16. I believe he still loves her even though they can never be again . He wants me to trust him on that one ! .. I'm hoping that one day .. Once i pass all his trust tests, he will give me his all... like he did with her and like how you did with your first love .. ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? I am secretly envious of her but I know in time he will be heal with my unconditionally love, loyalty respect commitment n affection . That he will open his heart to me fully . Only time will tell . I can only be there for him n allow him to make that decision upon himself . I can't force someone to believe my love for him is real. I can only show it n prove it with my actions.. Hopefully one day.... I get to pass all his trust tests .. *sign * it's a rough ride but I'm up for it.. Because I know deep down the reward n the end result will be more than worth it.. ..smile
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Posted by Neurotoxin
I'm not going to read all the text walls in here, partially because I'm lazy as hellz and partially because I'm like, the only Scorp male here anymore...
But I can honestly say that when I was young and immature, I didn't trust other people BECAUSE I DIDN'T TRUST MYSELF.
Didn't trust my girlfriend to not cheat on me? Probably because I knew I'd probably hit some hotter piece of ass if the opportunity presented itself so why should I expect her not to do the same.
Thank god I got over that shit.



100+
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Only, time serves as the true indicator of who u can trust or not. I honestly get a vibe from people if I can trust them. Some air moons just come off as untrustworthy. But I will say with time, a scorp sun with a gemini moon has proven himself to be very trustworthy and LOYAL.
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Posted by kalin
@saweetz: I think you are good for him since you sound like you have lots of patience and emotionally stable. Yes, we are typically very loyal. Just remember to keep things fun once you have his heart smile

thanks Karin. I'm sure one day you will find that certain someone who will heal you and pass all your tests also. ..I like my funsmile my Venus is Gemini. Enough said Winking
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scorps themselves never pass a test!
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Posted by kalin

Those are very good questions! Ans 1): I noticed I test like crazy when I feel its "too good to be true" and thus push some decent guys away. Also, I tend to be attracted to guys who have higher tendency to cheat (I may subconsciously want to fix them? or maybe because they remind me of the bad experience and thus they are familiar to me? or maybe because they secretly have other people on the side so it's easier for them to not take my emotions seriously and thus they stick around longer?).


Maybe....but none of these explanations actually say anything about you and how you see yourself, which is what this is really about. Again, I would suggest you take the time to figure this out. It takes time and won't be answered within a few post on a thread. Be patient with yourself. You'll get there.
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A VERY CLOSE Friend of mine is double Scorp.....and I felt so bad for her. I watched her crazy and twisted behavior on a daily basis. But I also love her cause she is a good friend (IF SHE hasn't placed an X on your Back) LOL

sometimes it was wayyy toooo much for me
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I watched my friend sleep with a guy our mutual friend said she slept with and still liked (the guy denied sleeping with the mutual friend)
I watched my friend sleep with a pastor that had a long time girlfriend,
sleep with her ex
(All while she is married)
I never judged....I feel we all have our own battles to deal with. But hey the truth is the truth
IF a Scorpio has your back....they have your back
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Why do we do this....we inject so much into what we love yet we feel we aren't deserving of it in return. I too have mechanisms and look for any reason to shut down and protect myself just in case. Scorpios aren't selfish and care so deeply!!
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Posted by Miscorpion
Why do we do this....we inject so much into what we love yet we feel we aren't deserving of it in return. I too have mechanisms and look for any reason to shut down and protect myself just in case. Scorpios aren't selfish and care so deeply!!
The answer is simple: life is intense and you can't run from it if you want to live. You feeling you aren't deserving of love means that you don't love yourself.
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I'm a Scorpio sun Aries moon and I usually have blind faith (not always a good thing) in the person I love. BUT

My brother in law's ex girlfriend is a Scorpio and was distrusting. She used to park outside whatever house or bar he was at and watch through the windows. She was a manager of a cell phone company and would look at his phone records and ask me about any female names she found. She made a Facebook page for him and would freak out about any friend requests received from females. Needless to say, the relationship didn't last. It's a shame because they were a good match but her insecurities destroyed everything.

*Did I just right a book in response to a 4 year old thread? Oh for crying out loud! Stop resurrecting these old posts!
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From 3 years ago. This thread has just been resurrected!
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