Leaving a Scorpio sun, rising and venus combo....

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by shortii on Friday, May 10, 2013 and has 60 replies.
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Makes me never EVER want to get involved with another Scorpio again. . For as long as I live. Ever. Goes right up there with Aires in the no fly zone. The most selfish, emotionally manipulative, emotionally draining and masochistic sign I have ever seen. Never ever EVER fucking with this sign again. Ever! !!
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Posted by shortii
Makes me never EVER want to get involved with another Scorpio again. . For as long as I live. Ever. Goes right up there with Aires in the no fly zone. The most selfish, emotionally manipulative, emotionally draining and masochistic sign I have ever seen. Never ever EVER fucking with this sign again. Ever! !!



Ok..but you need to back up what he did to you to put all Scorpio's in the "most selfish, emotionally manipulative, emotionally draining and masochistic sign" boat, and what is your sign. Or was this thread made to put all Scorpio's down because you were iced out by the one you just described?
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Posted by Scorpiorabbit
Posted by shortii
Makes me never EVER want to get involved with another Scorpio again. . For as long as I live. Ever. Goes right up there with Aires in the no fly zone. The most selfish, emotionally manipulative, emotionally draining and masochistic sign I have ever seen. Never ever EVER fucking with this sign again. Ever! !!



DXP translation:
I got involved with a sensitive and emotional man without realizing he would expect the same depth of emotions from me. I couldnt return the those feelings but I wasn't honest with him about it, and when he figured it out, he was hurt. I feel guilty because I know I should have been more open with him. But I don't want to admit that I may have made a mistake, I just want a scapegoat.
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+ 1
No one side is ever fully right or fully wrong, it is to those who can own up and live to their own flaws, the mistakes which were done, to move past them and learn not to blame, responsibility should be taken by both parties, as grown adults should.
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Posted by Redbull
Sorry Scorps. Youre right, I sure made my mistakes too. It happened as it was meant. Life goes on and its all learning experiences. But there are plenty with Scorpio "horror" stories out there. I had to participate because this thread spoke to me.


Ay, there are "horror" stories of every single sign out there but I do understand where you are coming from, as long as one learns, the experience could never have been as much a negative one than a positive one, we are what we make of what life throws at us smile
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Posted by Scorpiorabbit
Posted by Redbull
Sorry Scorps. Youre right, I sure made my mistakes too. It happened as it was meant. Life goes on and its all learning experiences. But there are plenty with Scorpio "horror" stories out there. I had to participate because this thread spoke to me.


I've come to believe its a lot of hype and projection that creates so many horror stories.
I also believe its often the strength at which a relationship with a scorp starts that colors the end. Its often so intense it makes the breakup that much more intense as well.
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That could be said for every water element, generally speaking.
It is also to my believe that every pairing with water creatures (or those who are water dominant) often come off very emotionally intense, more so than any other combination, this intensity, once cut, often leaves a void, a cold emptiness which causes one party or both, to grapple for something to hold unto, where once a room was filled with every warmth and bliss, it is now filled with an air of indifference, rocky surfaces, That usually drives any sane person off the brink, this sudden change in environment where incomprehension sets in, question and so forth ...
What say you?
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If I mistype anything I apologize I'm on my cell phone.
@scorprabbit- no.. the emotional deaths weren't revealed. .but hidden. ..its only when I said that after many many years of me saying that I have had enough that it comes out. I was looking, hoping waiting for the depths.. they only come out now and are accompanied with fear and realization of loss.he has confessed that he doesn't know how to love.
Not totally his fault. .I believed in hope, hung on too long, adapted to him.. mirrored him. Shut down bc I was tired of being hurt and upset.
It was wrong of me to put all Scorpios on blast and generalize. For that I apologize... I know many people have complained about us Pisces women and we aren't not all Always alike. What I do know Is that this Scorpio / Scorpio hurt me to my core and will have me guarded for quite some time.
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@ Scorpiorabbit
Hah, yes indeed!
Until the tide recedes...oh boy, what lays there is never pretty but that is life, for every black there must be white, every positive must be anegative.
No, I doubt only the women idealize the scorp men, unfortunately I believe us scorp women suffer the same wrath more often than not. We stingers have a splendid, incredible, generous, selfless and wondrous side but and a big but, we are flawed human beings too who are just as incapable of perfection as the next, hence our species should never be set on a pedestal, for we know we will fail it, though what is worse, those individuals who are the creators of those pedestals will often be the ones most hard hit as it comes crashing down around them, not that we never warned them before hand in the first place. No body deserves a pedestal nor worship, that will only be the cause of immense pain and hurt, no one could ever possible live up to such degrees, no sane human being that is. Stingers are often very aware of how imperfect we are, we know, we also know of our terrible capability upon our dark side, the difference, we rarely indulge it but if you can stay by our sides during our very worst, the terrible, the ugly, then we will reward you ten folds when we are at our very best.
Unrealistically expectations often lead to unrealistic blame and devastation. C'est la vie.
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by shortii
If I mistype anything I apologize I'm on my cell phone.
@scorprabbit- no.. the emotional deaths weren't revealed. .but hidden. ..its only when I said that after many many years of me saying that I have had enough that it comes out. I was looking, hoping waiting for the depths.. they only come out now and are accompanied with fear and realization of loss.he has confessed that he doesn't know how to love.
Not totally his fault. .I believed in hope, hung on too long, adapted to him.. mirrored him. Shut down bc I was tired of being hurt and upset.
It was wrong of me to put all Scorpios on blast and generalize. For that I apologize... I know many people have complained about us Pisces women and we aren't not all Always alike. What I do know Is that this Scorpio / Scorpio hurt me to my core and will have me guarded for quite some time.


Against other Scorpios or against relationships in general?

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Against Scorpios. . Just very very gun shy now. .with them..
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Posted by shortii
If I mistype anything I apologize I'm on my cell phone.
@scorprabbit- no.. the emotional deaths weren't revealed. .but hidden. ..its only when I said that after many many years of me saying that I have had enough that it comes out. I was looking, hoping waiting for the depths.. they only come out now and are accompanied with fear and realization of loss.he has confessed that he doesn't know how to love.
Not totally his fault. .I believed in hope, hung on too long, adapted to him.. mirrored him. Shut down bc I was tired of being hurt and upset.
It was wrong of me to put all Scorpios on blast and generalize. For that I apologize... I know many people have complained about us Pisces women and we aren't not all Always alike. What I do know Is that this Scorpio / Scorpio hurt me to my core and will have me guarded for quite some time.


i agree with the part about them opening up when they sense the end is near. I felt like you after a few months with one, drained. You're brave & strong for putting up with whatever you put up with. But as a water sign yourself, so maybe it wasnt such a big deal if you stuck it out for that long. Good luck & there're good healthy men out there, scorpio or not.
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Posted by tiziani
That's fair play. I would ride shotgun with you on this "a good Scorp is a dead Scorp" campaign but my heart wouldn't be in it. Even if I love Pisces. I have only ever had good experiences with Scorpios so the powder in my gun is dry.


It is better that way tiz, keep it dry, keep it dry.
We are not such a bad lot, we are truly sincere, genuine and good with the exceptional few...
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Not everyone can open up so much. If you are someone who cannot accept this boundary then you are better off outside a relationship with a person like this.
Sometimes letting a person who has difficulty expressing emotions does this because the also have difficulty trusting. Are these really evil personality traits? The best course of action is to let the person be, be there for them alway and let them come to you. If you have done all this while not pressuring your guy to be someone he obviously is not and he still doesn't come to you with emotions, then the emotions might not be there and it's time to let go.


That's exactly it..I didn't press. I asked what he wanted. . How I could help him feel loved and secure so that I could get the same in return. I'm not saying I'm perfect nor innocent victim here. Just that after 11 years of marriage. . 13 years together. .. I come away emotionally void. He told the world how wonderful ibam.. yet never told me. I made him secure. .his words. .but I never felt that way. He agrees that he never showed it. He calls it being selfish and immature.
All I'm saying that the fight to preserve self after all has been given is tough to escape from.

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Posted by Scorpiorabbit
Posted by cunninglinguist
(Cont'd)
...while they sort themselves out.


If you are not a loved one: Leave me be and GFY
If you are a loved one: a hug will do nicely, thank you very much.
I might get a little defensive if you are a loved one showing affection, but deep down it feels great. At times for me, admitting that *I* need a little emotional lift is embarrassing to me.
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i can relate to this, but i like to be left totally alone..dont care if you're a loved one or not. And I also hate questions like "what's wrong?", its annoying. I cant explain the things I feel in words & it irritates me further when someone is busy pushing me to talk about what bothers me.
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never say never or it will happen. with the way you are swearing them off, it aaaaalmmooooooost seems like you're really trying to say "again please!" Devil

i've had horror stories exiting a relationship with a taurus. breaking up with most recent ex scorpio wasn't, and STILL isnt, a walk in the park. but it was nothing compared to breaking up with my previous bf. however, he was my eastern astrology polar opposite, dog vs. dragon... all that was ever said about that pairing was basically: run. away. ...in zigzags.
YET... i wouldn't write them off. but that's just me. it's not fair to take all the good stuff and not tolerate the bad.
i might write off someone born in the yr of the dragon though. lol
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"That's exactly it..I didn't press. I asked what he wanted. . How I could help him feel loved and secure so that I could get the same in return. I'm not saying I'm perfect nor innocent victim here. Just that after 11 years of marriage. . 13 years together. .. I come away emotionally void. He told the world how wonderful ibam.. yet never told me. I made him secure. .his words. .but I never felt that way. He agrees that he never showed it. He calls it being selfish and immature.
All I'm saying that the fight to preserve self after all has been given is tough to escape from. "
eeesh... *foot in mouth*
teehee. your op makes more sense now.
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Posted by TheLadyScorpio
We stingers have a splendid, incredible, generous, selfless and wondrous side but and a big but, we are flawed human beings too who are just as incapable of perfection as the next, hence our species should never be set on a pedestal, for we know we will fail it, though what is worse, those individuals who are the creators of those pedestals will often be the ones most hard hit as it comes crashing down around them, not that we never warned them before hand in the first place. No body deserves a pedestal nor worship, that will only be the cause of immense pain and hurt, no one could ever possible live up to such degrees, no sane human being that is. Stingers are often very aware of how imperfect we are, we know, we also know of our terrible capability upon our dark side... but if you can stay by our sides during our very worst, the terrible, the ugly, then we will reward you ten folds when we are at our very best.
Unrealistically expectations often lead to unrealistic blame and devastation. C'est la vie.


I see your point here (and agree to an extent), but it seems like you're putting the failure of the relationship one person's shoulders. Here it looks like you're saying that 1) the person who thinks their Scorp is so wonderful needs to take ownership for their ideal being shattered because they were the one that put him/her on the pedestal to begin with and 2) the hurt that they feel is their fault, because "hey we warned them beforehand" how horrible we can be. You entered at their own risk. While I agree with your point that we shouldn't put anyone on a pedestal, the latter point ignores the responsibility that the Scorp also has. Yes, we are very aware of our dark side, but just warning someone beforehand doesn't mean we can leave it there. We also have the responsibility of actively working on these negative traits, especially if we are in a relationship with someone we care about. Not to mention the fact that we (Scorps) have the huge expectation that with all of our flaws our partner needs to stick by us through thick and thin, put up with our bullsh*t and then they will be rewarded. Seems a little off putting and one sided if you ask me.
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^^^^P.S. please don't revoke Scorp card.
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Posted by PhoenixRising
^^^^P.S. please don't revoke my Scorp card.


*fixed.
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Posted by Stinger Baby
okay, well thanks for lumping us all in the shit pile together. maybe yours was highly defective, but there are some sweethearted scorps out there too. what was his other placements in his chart? dont just blame it on scorp.
sorry for what you went through, though.


Ok.. fair call, Stinger. . I won't lump you all together in one pile. That isn't fair. I agree. Lord knows there are enough dramatic, overly dependent, damsel in distress Pisces women that make me want to push'em off a tall bridge with a prop rope, but I don't. While I won't swear off ALL Scorpios, anyone with a Scorpio sun, Scorpio rising, Scorpio Venus and born the year of the snake will be ignored on sight.
Truce? :-)
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Posted by xxnightbynight
we (Scorps) have the huge expectation that with all of our flaws our partner needs to stick by us through thick and thin, put up with our bullsh*t and then they will be rewarded. Seems a little off putting and one sided if you ask me.



Why is that?


my comment was in reference to something TLS posted:

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Stingers are often very aware of how imperfect we are, we know, we also know of our terrible capability upon our dark side... but if you can stay by our sides during our very worst, the terrible, the ugly, then we will reward you ten folds when we are at our very best.



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The quoting feature is pissing me off now!
^^^^Anyway, xxnight to (sort of) answer your question:
Perhaps it's ego? Fear? Trust? Control?....I don't have a general answer that will apply to all Scorps.
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Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by PhoenixRising
^^^^P.S. please don't revoke my Scorp card.


*fixed.
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Never, everyone has as much right to lay their card on the table as each other. However I would like to expand on your thoughts though smile
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Posted by Scorpiorabbit
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by PhoenixRising
^^^^P.S. please don't revoke my Scorp card.


*fixed.


Never, everyone has as much right to lay their card on the table as each other. However I would like to expand on your thoughts though smile



Can I exchange mine?
This one seems to come with too much junk in the trunk.
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What would you exchange it for?
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@ PR
Ay, in hindsight, yes you are right, the way I had expressed my thoughts might have read that way (did not proof read I wrote as it came, it may have been experienced colored too but then again hardly intentional on my part, truly), but what I was trying to do, was to show, if there is 'one extreme' as the OP had put it, there is just as well the 'other extreme', two sides of a similar coin.
In regards to sticking through the thick and thin, I do not mean sticking through abuse, hell no, I mean to stick through our difficulties and worser days (fighting demons), not ditching us to the wind the day the 'shit hits the fan' as the expression goes, but to stay long enough to work through it together because we are rather fixed, as Elle provided examples in another recent thread, when we stay, we will be by your side through the thickest of thick and thinnest of thin, what I talk of is reciprocation, which is healthy and a realistic expectation, not for one to manipulate, undermine and use the other, that is taking my sentence to the polar end but if one must take it to that polar end, then yes, I'd agree.
If you read my prior post to this longer one, you'd already seen were I stand in regards to assuming responsibility and my stance is 'exactly the same as yours'. Where two sane adults should never pose the blame, but gather their own respective balls to own up to their own part within the catastrophe, to communicate, to compromise (if deemed rightly so by both parties), to make appropriate changes to ensure a healthier and more stable journey unto the future.
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LadyScorp,
I knew you weren't speaking of extreme cases. I wrote "put up with our bullsh*t" to reference any behaviour that we justify or make excuses for--not necessarily extreme behaviour. I understood what you meant because I have similar expectations in terms of loyalty from a partner with an understanding that you outlined above. I'm a ride or die kind of chick, but I need to know you are worth it. I think this is a separate issue from working on your issues while you are in a relationship and taking responsibility for your actions though.
I did read your post on responsibility, which is why I addressed the other post. To me, it read like a one sided view of "responsibility" as I define taking responsibility. I should have stated that. I guess I see people in relationship as individuals that are very much responsible for their own journey and growth; the partnership just forces us to get our head straight a lot quicker than we would if we were on our own. The people we get involved with will often hold up a mirror to let us know we have work to do. The work, I think is mostly for ourselves so we can become better people and partly for the sake of the relationship.
I will agree with you, Scorps are very aware of the demons we must fight, we don't typically need the mirror to become aware of the things we need to work on. However, just being aware of it and saying yeah I know I have issues isn't enough imo. Even worse, to say I know I have issues, but I will only work on them if I think you're worth it, just seems... weak (I can't come up with a better word). Pull your head out of your a** and work on your stuff! I think the work should be done for your own sake (and for the sake of the relationship), not because you want something from someone else first.
I am not suggesting that you were saying all of this^^^^ in your post, but this was how I initially interpreted your post. I do see your point and understand it much better now.
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Posted by Stinger Baby
okay, well thanks for lumping us all in the shit pile together. maybe yours was highly defective, but there are some sweethearted scorps out there too. what was his other placements in his chart? dont just blame it on scorp.
sorry for what you went through, though.


Are you ready to date another sag?
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Posted by Stinger Baby
^^^ dont try to call my bluff lolo. i will be friends with the sag, and i know there are some good ones out there, but i am a capricorn lover. that is all. just as long as i dont lump sags in the dirt pile together, all is well.



Idealistic hat going on smile
But you did lump us all in the same pile and no sag had a problem with that. In fact, some of us agreed and you were free to swear them off romantically. Thats your right. I wouldnt want to push anything down your throat.
So why wasnt the OP allowed to make the same decision? Poor girl had to explain in detail her decision b4 she was given permission. Lol
I see this on this board frquently. Scorps are allowed to swear off anything under the sun, but when another sign wants to swear you of...ahhh hell no! Dont swear us (scorps) off for your (the other signs) shortcomings. Cause its never the other persons fault.
Cmon guys, live and let live smile
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Hogwash
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Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
We stingers have a splendid, incredible, generous, selfless and wondrous side but and a big but, we are flawed human beings too who are just as incapable of perfection as the next, hence our species should never be set on a pedestal, for we know we will fail it, though what is worse, those individuals who are the creators of those pedestals will often be the ones most hard hit as it comes crashing down around them, not that we never warned them before hand in the first place. No body deserves a pedestal nor worship, that will only be the cause of immense pain and hurt, no one could ever possible live up to such degrees, no sane human being that is. Stingers are often very aware of how imperfect we are, we know, we also know of our terrible capability upon our dark side... but if you can stay by our sides during our very worst, the terrible, the ugly, then we will reward you ten folds when we are at our very best.
Unrealistically expectations often lead to unrealistic blame and devastation. C'est la vie.


Yes, we are very aware of our dark side, but just warning someone beforehand doesn't mean we can leave it there. We also have the responsibility of actively working on these negative traits, especially if we are in a relationship with someone we care about. Not to mention the fact that we (Scorps) have the huge expectation that with all of our flaws our partner needs to stick by us through thick and thin, put up with our bullsh*t and then they will be rewarded. Seems a little off putting and one sided if you ask me.

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He just said this to me. That he can never be friends with me... will be there for my kids but never friends with me bc he loves me too much.
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Im not lumping all in. My bff for years is a Scorpio. She's been my bff for 22 years. Not lumping her in that pile. . Just saying. . He says he wants to change. He wants to make things right and better but won't give me the time I need to do so.
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Posted by xygeneration
My ex scorp is sun, venus and pluto. Serial cheater. Funny, scorps are said to be loyal. I went through hell with my ex scorp, if there's anything worst than hell I went there too. I was never shown heaven. Its either earth or hell with him. I used heart and logic. All he can say is sorry, tried making it up to me but it didnt last. He tells me that he knows he's wronged me every way possible. When I try to be reasonble with him, he rages. He says no matter if im right, keep quiet. I ended it and he said he's trying to change. I see it as an excuse to do all fucks and shits as he started to do again. Aware of his flaws but too comfortable where he is. Searching for my lost soul now.


Wow. Im sorry u hadto go through all that. Time heals all wounds. smile
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Posted by xygeneration
I dont hear scorps getting blamed in most threads. People are mostly devestated and reaching out for help. Go to the gemini board and see how much shit talking goes on in there. Damn.


Ha! On my way!
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Posted by Scorpiorabbit
Posted by xygeneration
Scorprabbit, you honestly think that other signs get the benefit of the doubt than scorps?



I think the bitterness brought to bear on Scorps is ridiculous.
I don't see that sort of venom reserved for others.
It boggles my mind. I know so many good Scorps.
Yet here? We're the antichrist.


Posted by Scorpiorabbit
Posted by xygeneration
Scorprabbit, you honestly think that other signs get the benefit of the doubt than scorps?



I think the bitterness brought to bear on Scorps is ridiculous.
I don't see that sort of venom reserved for others.
It boggles my mind. I know so many good Scorps.
Yet here? We're the antichrist.
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Ahhh... do you leave the Scorpio board? Virgo and Cancer men get a hard time too. Virogs seem to shrug it off and most bad Cancer threads get ignored unless someone is really rude or obnoxious.
Cancers can really suck with the moodiness and shelling.. it's true. own it. When Scorpios go bad it is usually EXTREME so you can't really blame people for having an extreme break up or reaction to it. it's true. own it.
I have to say, Scorpios and Taurus take criticism the WORST on dxp. Either defensive or weepy... with exceptions of course
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Posted by xygeneration
Posted by tiziani
That's the general pattern I've heard and read about in Scorpio-Gemini relationships. I studied it for about half a day (yes geek) the other day after people brought it up in a thread. I wasn't referring to you. If you really want to know, I was referring to Donald Trump.
Unless you mean what I said to Scorpiorabbit, in which case I was just replying to what he said about "Scorpios never get the benefit of the doubt". Seems ridiculous to me given what I read on this forum, but I'm not a Scorpio and I don't have to take the flak that the Scorpio board gets. So I wouldn't know what it's like on the other side.


I didnt get bored. He did.lol thats why he went looking places. Then later comes and apologize when caught. This exscorp had scorp all over his chart. I wanted to stay home, he wanted to be out. I jave gemini venus. Go figure. Scorps are given the benefit of the doubt far too often than any other sign just for being a scorp.
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Yup
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Posted by tiziani
Since I've been here I think Pisces take criticism the worst. I see "we are individual not all Pisces are the same" the most there. Then again I hang out on the Pisces board often because I like them. I've rarely spent time on Taurus, Cancer or Scorpio board in comparison.


This is true... I forgot about my Fishy friends, they do tend to deflect
I understand Scorpios a lot better now... have had many experiences with them.
I think what shone thru the most with me is the Fixed nature. A Scorpio can know all their bad traits and call themselves out on stuff and apologize... but I never realized how difficult it must be for them to actually change those characteristics about themselves (I was married to an Aquarius and it was similar. I know, I know, I know... but the same things would happen.)
I have zero fixed in my chart. Cardinal and Mutable can adapt and change... while Fixed signs would rather you change to accept them. I appreciate the struggle, I guess
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I'm sorry you had a bad relationship. I did too. But in time you will move on from it, time dims things, it will be ok.
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Posted by xygeneration
I have to say though, this exscorp told me his life story. The darkest secrets he hid from everyone. I shared mines too. We shared a lot. He just couldn't stay faithful. Motherfucker pulling on heartstrings. Called him out and he showed me the way out. He was given the benefit of the doubt. Im usually suspicious, but gave this one a chance. BAM! Just when you believe that there's someone good out there, you get slapped back handed by reality. Lol! I was the scorp in the relationship. Yeah I said it.


Cake and eat it 2. Some men want a stable relationship to go home 2 but want to have some variety on the side. Its cool if both partners agree. What I dont like is men not giving women a choice. Dont decide for us.
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Posted by Mr. Defense
Yeah Scorpios suck


I found this the most entertaining comment since my last post. FFS....sums up the thread me thinks.
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Did u feel, bullied into that open relationship or did u do it freely?
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Posted by Mr. Defense
Yeah Scorpios suck


Thyre cool until you sleep with them.
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Posted by xygeneration
I cant help but think now if its selfish to be in a monogamous relationship. He's said that its possible to be in love with more than one person and/or have varities but only one person to be emotionally connected with.


I can relate to that. Sometimes sex is just sex. Love and intimacy is reserved.
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Posted by xygeneration
Posted by DMV
Did u feel, bullied into that open relationship or did u do it freely?


I didnt do it. This was not proposed in the beginning, but the middle when feelings were invested already. I didnt feel bullied, but manipulated. I said its either all in or nothing.
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Makes sense. Some Men usually use their mates love aganist them.
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Posted by tiziani

I think if at any point a person feels like they are committing to a relationship and not choosing for themselves, but the expectations of the other person - then it's clear at some point there was something lost in the foundation of that relationship and it stopped being supportive but destructive. I've been in both, fortunately. I wouldn't trade the lessons I've learned from either one. They were both cool in terms of what I experienced.



exactamundo!
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Posted by xygeneration
Is it selfish to be in a monogamous relationship?


Depends. If you like the company of other people but try to be committed to just one person to get that family feeling, then yes its selfish.
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Posted by xygeneration
I cant help but think now if its selfish to be in a monogamous relationship. He's said that its possible to be in love with more than one person and/or have varities but only one person to be emotionally connected with.


Do you really think it's selfish to be in a monogamous relationship? As for your ex's comment.....I smell manipulation.
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Posted by xygeneration
Posted by tiziani
Whether it is selfish or not, people have free will. It's a choice to fall in love, it's a choice to stray, it's a choice to commit. A supportive relationship to me is one where the more people choose to commit to one another, the more free their feel because of it and the more options they feel open up between them.
I think if at any point a person feels like they are committing to a relationship and not choosing for themselves, but the expectations of the other person - then it's clear at some point there was something lost in the foundation of that relationship and it stopped being supportive but destructive. I've been in both, fortunately. I wouldn't trade the lessons I've learned from either one. They were both cool in terms of what I experienced.



I tried to be supportive. I even freaking tried to open up to a threesome to give him what he wanted. Why is it always the damn givers fault. Fack.
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If it was an all or nothing thing with you from the getgo where did he get off even asking for a 3some?
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Posted by xygeneration
Posted by tiziani
Whether it is selfish or not, people have free will. It's a choice to fall in love, it's a choice to stray, it's a choice to commit. A supportive relationship to me is one where the more people choose to commit to one another, the more free their feel because of it and the more options they feel open up between them.
I think if at any point a person feels like they are committing to a relationship and not choosing for themselves, but the expectations of the other person - then it's clear at some point there was something lost in the foundation of that relationship and it stopped being supportive but destructive. I've been in both, fortunately. I wouldn't trade the lessons I've learned from either one. They were both cool in terms of what I experienced.



I tried to be supportive. I even freaking tried to open up to a threesome to give him what he wanted. Why is it always the damn givers fault. Fack.
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If you didn't feel comfortable, and only opened up to the 3some idea to give him what he wanted... then you were lying to yourself and adapting to his expectations. If you didn't feel comfortable with it then you shouldn't/didn't do it. Your choice based on your own principles.
Your ex can have his beliefs and live by them... as long as he is open and honest about his intentions from the jump and not try to convince you of something that serves his agenda later on down the road. This is not sign specific... that's just straight up manipulation. You can't con someone into sharing your beliefs once you have them emotionally tied to you.
It's a clever argument to have cake, eat too
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Posted by xygeneration
Posted by DMV
Posted by xygeneration
Posted by tiziani
Whether it is selfish or not, people have free will. It's a choice to fall in love, it's a choice to stray, it's a choice to commit. A supportive relationship to me is one where the more people choose to commit to one another, the more free their feel because of it and the more options they feel open up between them.
I think if at any point a person feels like they are committing to a relationship and not choosing for themselves, but the expectations of the other person - then it's clear at some point there was something lost in the foundation of that relationship and it stopped being supportive but destructive. I've been in both, fortunately. I wouldn't trade the lessons I've learned from either one. They were both cool in terms of what I experienced.



I tried to be supportive. I even freaking tried to open up to a threesome to give him what he wanted. Why is it always the damn givers fault. Fack.


If it was an all or nothing thing with you from the getgo where did he get off even asking for a 3some?


Well bc its either he cheats or we make it a shared experience
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oh hell no...
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Posted by xygeneration
I tried giving him the best sex. I studied and did my research.



Your not his sex slave or servant. Thats YOUR body.
What was the straw that broke the camels back?
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Posted by xygeneration
Posted by DMV
Posted by xygeneration
Posted by tiziani
Whether it is selfish or not, people have free will. It's a choice to fall in love, it's a choice to stray, it's a choice to commit. A supportive relationship to me is one where the more people choose to commit to one another, the more free their feel because of it and the more options they feel open up between them.
I think if at any point a person feels like they are committing to a relationship and not choosing for themselves, but the expectations of the other person - then it's clear at some point there was something lost in the foundation of that relationship and it stopped being supportive but destructive. I've been in both, fortunately. I wouldn't trade the lessons I've learned from either one. They were both cool in terms of what I experienced.



I tried to be supportive. I even freaking tried to open up to a threesome to give him what he wanted. Why is it always the damn givers fault. Fack.


If it was an all or nothing thing with you from the getgo where did he get off even asking for a 3some?


Well bc its either he cheats or we make it a shared experience
click to expand


Oh hell no
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Posted by xygeneration
Well ok from how ot was explained it was a give and take. He can open up emotionally and I open up to his proposal. He said that it will bring is closer. He never had one before and some people are more physical than others and get that closeness physically.


Yeah, he had your number from jump. Clearly used your feelings aganist you.
Do you ever think about getting back with him?
Dont think of yourself as weak, you were in love with someone undeserving. Now hes running the same game on someone else.
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