LIVING TOGETHER checklist.
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by taurusgoddess on Friday, August 11, 2006 and has 26 replies.
Experienced people, please reply. I know it's best to talk about things before, to avoid arguements during the issues.
So what do you want to know I have lived with a pisces and a virgo.
Okay what's the problem. I have lived with a Libra (my ex-best friend) and a Gemini.
Karima how was it living with a libra my son is a libra and he is triflin? Do they become neat when they get older
No probs yet, but seriously, taurus/scorp um, ya, I want to know/discuss going in to AVOID problemos.
Things like $ $ $ , life style , cleaning...how does everyone else do it? How to prepare?
Things like $ $ $ , life style , cleaning...how does everyone else do it? How to prepare?
When I was living with a guy, we shared the rent, I did the grocerys, and washed and cleaned, and he paid for the cars but I paid my own insureance and he did the electric
TG is your name going to be on the lease where you are moving?
TG is your name going to be on the lease where you are moving?
I think it might just be under his, why? He's paying the deposit.
Because you should have your name on the lease I am not being negative here but what if something happens and he puts you out, don't get offened it is something you should think about or discuss with him.
you said you want to avoid arguements etc. but that does not always happen.
Just keep it in mind sweetie
you said you want to avoid arguements etc. but that does not always happen.
Just keep it in mind sweetie
What exactly has been planned out at this point?
You quit your job without another job lined up.
You "think" the lease is in his name.
You're just now wondering what should be discussed when two people move in together.
You definitely should have both names on the lease; but don't let him talk you into putting in solely in your name....have to watch out for you - don't need your credit hurt over this.
Good luck to you!
You quit your job without another job lined up.
You "think" the lease is in his name.
You're just now wondering what should be discussed when two people move in together.
You definitely should have both names on the lease; but don't let him talk you into putting in solely in your name....have to watch out for you - don't need your credit hurt over this.
Good luck to you!
You really should have discussed allot of stuff with your man prior to moving. It may not seem like a huge thing, but living with a boyfriend is very different than living with a roommate.
You need to make sure that both of you are listed on the lease. You both will be sharing this space and responsibility and it needs to be legally reflected. This goes for utilities too.
You also need to discuss the financial side of things. Who pays what bills and how they are paid. Some people like to do a "yours, mine, and ours" type of setup, some people like to divvy out the bills and keep money completely separate. Nail that down first and foremost before you move in. You don't want any surprises where the money is concerned.
Also you need to discuss the more mundane details of living together. Chores, grocery shopping, etc.. You won't believe how quickly leaving shoes in the floor or stubble in the sink will annoy the hell out of you.
Lastly and I think people overlook this before moving in together. Discuss your fighting style with each other. You will now be living with your significant other and cannot just hang up the phone or something like that when you are angry. you are face to face with this person and need to figure out between yourselves how you want to handle that. Find neutral corners in the apartment to cool off in and learn how to recognize when a fight needs to take a pause and each of you needs to cool down.
You need to make sure that both of you are listed on the lease. You both will be sharing this space and responsibility and it needs to be legally reflected. This goes for utilities too.
You also need to discuss the financial side of things. Who pays what bills and how they are paid. Some people like to do a "yours, mine, and ours" type of setup, some people like to divvy out the bills and keep money completely separate. Nail that down first and foremost before you move in. You don't want any surprises where the money is concerned.
Also you need to discuss the more mundane details of living together. Chores, grocery shopping, etc.. You won't believe how quickly leaving shoes in the floor or stubble in the sink will annoy the hell out of you.
Lastly and I think people overlook this before moving in together. Discuss your fighting style with each other. You will now be living with your significant other and cannot just hang up the phone or something like that when you are angry. you are face to face with this person and need to figure out between yourselves how you want to handle that. Find neutral corners in the apartment to cool off in and learn how to recognize when a fight needs to take a pause and each of you needs to cool down.
oh and if you haven't seen it yet, go watch "The Break Up"
thinking more about it, Vince Vaughn fit as a Scorpio and Jennifer Aniston fit as a Taurus....people who have seen the move I'm sure will agree.
Wow, attack! OK, thanks, that's what I needed.
We have discussed a lot of that, but not really in a way where we go over it - making official decisions. We both are agreed on a lot of things, and when I was at his place everyday I would take note on how he does things. We were together after work to morning everyday for the last 3 months but your totally right, there's the bills & much more that I'm sure will come up.
Just looking for experienced advice.
We have discussed a lot of that, but not really in a way where we go over it - making official decisions. We both are agreed on a lot of things, and when I was at his place everyday I would take note on how he does things. We were together after work to morning everyday for the last 3 months but your totally right, there's the bills & much more that I'm sure will come up.
Just looking for experienced advice.
just watching out for ya babe!
TG have have you ever lived with a bf before?
This is a huge wonderful thing, just go into it prepared. I'm currently discussing all of this with my scorpio man as we plan to move in together around october/november. All of this is fresh in my mind right now.
No SL, just my gaymaleaquaroomie. It was tough at first & my parents know him & said YOU GUYS WILL NEVER WORK!!! They said u guys are too different & he's too clean &....
But it worked, 5 years later we are changed & closer. I changed a lot. I am very willing to work, and I hope my scorp is too...from how our relationship has gone, he's worked a lot.
But it worked, 5 years later we are changed & closer. I changed a lot. I am very willing to work, and I hope my scorp is too...from how our relationship has gone, he's worked a lot.
My personally I don't think people should really live together after only dating 3-6 less than a year you really don't know each other.
But, from my experience I think it is best to live with your bf while you are young, I first moved in with my sons father when I was 19 and I left him for about a month even though both our names were on the lease and I can back, but we lived together for 6 years before we broke up and we when through a lot during that time, we actually grew up together and we got to know each other in and out really well, I mean to the point of him knowing when to leave the house if I was in my cleaning mood. LOL
Right know in my life I don't know If I want to live with a man again, I like my space don't know if I am willing to share again, and I am so set in my ways. For me to do that it will take a long while and I need to be sure that this one is forever.
But, from my experience I think it is best to live with your bf while you are young, I first moved in with my sons father when I was 19 and I left him for about a month even though both our names were on the lease and I can back, but we lived together for 6 years before we broke up and we when through a lot during that time, we actually grew up together and we got to know each other in and out really well, I mean to the point of him knowing when to leave the house if I was in my cleaning mood. LOL
Right know in my life I don't know If I want to live with a man again, I like my space don't know if I am willing to share again, and I am so set in my ways. For me to do that it will take a long while and I need to be sure that this one is forever.
My parents got married after knowing each other a year. My old bestfriends wedding in 2 weeks, they dated 9 months.
Time? whatever. How much testing do u do before u know each other, some people NEVER really know each other. Me & scorp dig deep. He said he wants to grow old with me. He might not know what he's saying, who knows, but we work through everything, even in rough times. That tells me something.
Time? whatever. How much testing do u do before u know each other, some people NEVER really know each other. Me & scorp dig deep. He said he wants to grow old with me. He might not know what he's saying, who knows, but we work through everything, even in rough times. That tells me something.
You really don't know each other no matter how long you date really, it all about taking a risk and we take risk everyday in out lives.
I know people used to look at me like I was crazy because I have a 5 year courtship before I make any decision of marriage or living together they used to say "who has that much time" I do.
I also believe that the first year is full of lies by men and women because they are both trying to impress and the second year is the hardest because you really start to see that person I always belived that if I make it past the second year I could see a long future of being together and it has worked for me like clock work.
I lived with my sons father after we dated a year and was pregnant the next. LOL
I know people used to look at me like I was crazy because I have a 5 year courtship before I make any decision of marriage or living together they used to say "who has that much time" I do.
I also believe that the first year is full of lies by men and women because they are both trying to impress and the second year is the hardest because you really start to see that person I always belived that if I make it past the second year I could see a long future of being together and it has worked for me like clock work.
I lived with my sons father after we dated a year and was pregnant the next. LOL
"You really don't know each other no matter how long you date really, it all about taking a risk and we take risk everyday in out lives."
You're right, and me staying here regretting not doing this will not let me get to know him better, or even myself.
You're right, and me staying here regretting not doing this will not let me get to know him better, or even myself.
congrats on the big step
agree w/ kennyg re the money thing being a major factor - i know from personal experience the $ $ $ can unfortunately have a way of affecting the relationship.
i've lived w/ two men - one for 2 yrs, the last one for 10 yrs. in both the finances got melded over time coz they both ended up with no jobs. i ended up w/ the short end of the stick both times - not fun, believe me!! so all the stuff the girls are telling you about above, they are just looking out for you...
since your scorp has been here for awhile he obviously knows what the average monthly expenses are. you can either give him your share every month and have him take care of everything (or you take care of the bills, whatever works; personally i like taking control of the household finances), or you guys can have a separate bank account you both put money into to cover expenses only. bonus: you can buy those $ 500 shoes and never ever have to justify it.....
outside of the finances:
never go to bed angry - that is a major rule!!! there's wisdom in that old rule, trust me!!! doesn't matter who apologizes first; there's no such thing as pride in a relationship (or rather there shouldn't be).
you're going to have a period of adjustment. i like what someone else said on here about having neutral areas, or an agreement beforehand about leaving a room when you're angry and coming back to discuss things rationally....wish i'd known that in the beginning of my last live-in relationship. daymn, i would've saved some dishes, LOL.
having said all that, this is a very exciting time for you, and you're right about knowing someone a lot better by living with them. as long as you go in with eyes wide open it'll all work out
agree w/ kennyg re the money thing being a major factor - i know from personal experience the $ $ $ can unfortunately have a way of affecting the relationship.
i've lived w/ two men - one for 2 yrs, the last one for 10 yrs. in both the finances got melded over time coz they both ended up with no jobs. i ended up w/ the short end of the stick both times - not fun, believe me!! so all the stuff the girls are telling you about above, they are just looking out for you...
since your scorp has been here for awhile he obviously knows what the average monthly expenses are. you can either give him your share every month and have him take care of everything (or you take care of the bills, whatever works; personally i like taking control of the household finances), or you guys can have a separate bank account you both put money into to cover expenses only. bonus: you can buy those $ 500 shoes and never ever have to justify it.....
outside of the finances:
never go to bed angry - that is a major rule!!! there's wisdom in that old rule, trust me!!! doesn't matter who apologizes first; there's no such thing as pride in a relationship (or rather there shouldn't be).
you're going to have a period of adjustment. i like what someone else said on here about having neutral areas, or an agreement beforehand about leaving a room when you're angry and coming back to discuss things rationally....wish i'd known that in the beginning of my last live-in relationship. daymn, i would've saved some dishes, LOL.
having said all that, this is a very exciting time for you, and you're right about knowing someone a lot better by living with them. as long as you go in with eyes wide open it'll all work out
good work ladies, and goodluck tj you'll be fine =) smile & stay positive!
TG* LOL sorry
haha, checklists is my thing. & he is cleaner than me, but i am tidy. I love the advise about doing things the way I did them before, not fall into the feel sorry for me - pay attention to me I don't know anyone else. I have lots of hobbies and LOVE being outdoors, often by myself, so I'll remind myself of that.
OK so a couple people mentioned arguing...this is one I really want to address. Or at least the communication/pride thing. I think that's our weak spot, it sometimes seems that very important/ very needed things to be said only get out when there are arguements/problems...almost like we hold in things/feelings/needs until the other person freaks out.
OK so a couple people mentioned arguing...this is one I really want to address. Or at least the communication/pride thing. I think that's our weak spot, it sometimes seems that very important/ very needed things to be said only get out when there are arguements/problems...almost like we hold in things/feelings/needs until the other person freaks out.
" I don't think it should take 10 years to figure out if you want that person or not LOL. "
TOTALLY!
Kenny, I actually come from a very strict religeous christian family who is not down w/ the living together thing. My brother did it though, and they got married a few years later. I don't really agree with it either, on the level of replacement, but scorp knows this, and he also has expressed on many occasions that he wants to marry me (freaks me out!!!! ) We are on the same page for the things that really matter, and your right - "You don't make an appointment to discuss issues that arise." I think that comment makes me feel a little more relaxed about things. That's just life, there's only a certain amount of things in your control, the rest you deal with.
TOTALLY!
Kenny, I actually come from a very strict religeous christian family who is not down w/ the living together thing. My brother did it though, and they got married a few years later. I don't really agree with it either, on the level of replacement, but scorp knows this, and he also has expressed on many occasions that he wants to marry me (freaks me out!!!!
) We are on the same page for the things that really matter, and your right - "You don't make an appointment to discuss issues that arise." I think that comment makes me feel a little more relaxed about things. That's just life, there's only a certain amount of things in your control, the rest you deal with.Leave Your Feedback
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