Its an astrological survival guide to romance, by Hazel Dixon-Cooper. Has anybody ever browsed through it? Its hilarious! She's written another called born on a rotten day, which is suppossed to be good.
She uses humor and sarcasm to exaggerate and explain each sign (sun, moon, mars, and venus). These are just made up for laughs, they're researched, but its just putting some humor into it. Hopefully it doesn't offend anybody. Its all about romance/lovin'
I'll put up some of Chapter9, on Scorpio "I put a spell on you". ----------------------- Element: water. Steam heat is soothing, healing, and purifying. It can also asphyxiate, scald, and parboil. Quality: Fixed, on secrets. What you see is seldom what you get. Symbol: The Scorpion. Even making love is a duel to the death. Ruler: Mars and Pluto. In this dynamic duo, Mars builds you up with megahot, intense passion, then Pluto-the-Destructor drop-kicks your heart into the next county. Just for fun. Romantic Idol: Michael Corleone. Romantic style : Sarcastic head case. Favorite Pickup Line: "Hi." Dream First Date: Locks eyes with a beautiful stranger, has ten or twelve hours of nonstop, ultrawicked, steamy, passionate sex. No names or words are exchanged. Stranger is never seen again. Scorpio has another lost love to mourn. Erogenous Zone: Sex Organs. Has terminal sexual heat rash. No cure. Seeks frequent treatment. Sexual Quirk: Carries an emergency kit of sex toys in the trunk of the car. [haha! almost true!]
pg.111 "You know how you shiver with fear at the idea of doing something extremely dangerous, but feel compelled to proceed? Falling for a Scorpio is just like that shudder of terrified excitement. The legendary magnetism of this sign is real. A scorpion in love is erotically powerful, amazingly cunning, and totally dangerous. Scorpions are the stuff of romance-novel characters: strong, silent men who'll crush you against their chests, mesmerize you with those snake-veiled eyes, and sneer just before kissing you so passionately your bikinis melt. Women sexual sorceresses who will settle for nothing less than total control before allowing you to succumb to their ability to make you stare and babble. Once the scorpion fixes his or her beady little eyes on you and starts inching across the room, stinger poised, you are in for an all-out assault. It doesn't matter whether or not you are either available or agreeable to his or her advances. Scorpio is prepared to wait as long as it takes. If you are enthralled, entranced, fixated, and/or just plain horny for a scorpion, you must understand a few crucial facts. Remember the old saying about love and war? Well, to a Scorpio love is war. The bedroom is their battlefield, and sex is the weapon they wield. Scorpios don't play; they strategize. They don't flirt; they obsess. They frequently use sex to seduce and control. Don't let the so-called sunny ones fool you. Inside every Scorpio is a mass murder waiting to happen. They don't do moderation. A Scorpio can withhold sex longer than a Pisces can watch Gilligan reruns, the switch to insatiable mode in an instant. If you question either action, Mr./Mrs. Scorpio will take perverse delight in verbally trying to slash your ego to bits. Scorpions, including the celibate ones, and those do exist, are fascinated by sex. Even if yours wouldn't dream of participating, he or she is curious about all things sexual. Porno, prostitution, videos, books, everything up to and including clinical research and psychology connected with sexual issues. Shere Hite, Larry Flynt, and Robert Mapplethorpe are classic examples of the span of Scorpio's interest. Hite was the reseracher who looked at it from the scientific viewpoint; Flynt was the master pornographer who turned it into a multimillion-dollar career; and Mapplethorpe's exquisitely stark photography captured its palpable sensuality and raw emotion. Toss in televangelist Pat Buchanan, who thinks any style but missionary
deserves a one-way ticket straight to hell, and you have a well-rounded picture of your average Scorpio psyche. Scorpios are fanatical about trust. A Scorpio will dump you faster than an Aquarius rushing to a UFO sighting if he or she even thinks you've discussed any intimate aspect of your relationship with family, friends, or the psychic hotline. However, be prepared to have your name and worst secrets spray painted all over town should you happen to piss off this guy or doll. Even their email is cryptic. Scorpions send messages like "Hope you are well. I'm better, now that the cops have left." What does THAT mean? A Gemini would write a page, a Sagittarius a missive. Scorpio messages are tests to see whether or not you care enough to inquire further. They are maddeningly hard to understand and nearly impossible to predict. Scorpions have perfected the blank stare. Yell, cry, accuse, or threaten, and your Scorpion will stare at you as if you were a total stranger speaking a foreign language. Don't confuse this with a blank look from Taurus, Scorpio's opposite sign. Taurus is obtuse. Scorpio is devious......[and it goes on].... A Scorpio's inner space is a ten-foot circle. Libras never take their hands off you, but Scorpios can recoil at a surprise hug. The safest way to approach one is slowly, first extending your hand for him or her to sniff. Both sexes are suspicious and calculating and have skewed emotional perspectives. A Scorpion's idea of making up after a fight is to stare you into submission, tie you to the bedpost, and have his or her way with you. Normally, this would be an exciting proposition, until you watch those hypnotic eyes go blank as he or she rolls off you just seconds before you are satisfied. You may have forgotten the argument in the heat of passion. Your Scorpio is just revving up into punish-you mode.
[Scorp-in-law, and what? I don't understand your question.]
--'Til Death Do Us Part-- -Catching One With scorpio, flattery and some black underwear will get you laid. Getting one to fall for you isn't quite as easy. All the rumors about the intensity of Scorpio passion are true. However, it isn't just physical sex he or she is after. A scorpio wants a magical, mystical merging of the soul-mate kind and is prepared to screw his or her way around the planet to find such a person. The dark side is that neither sex will relinquish this behavior pattern after marriage, should he or she decide you are OK but not THE ONE. Even if you are his or her true love, the Scorpio fascination with all things sexual can eventually lead to a string of affairs. (hmm, but if they are the one, I don't know if I agree w/her on this). Scorpions love a mystery ("Why aren't you falling at my feet?") and a challenge ("I'll show you who's the master/mistress"). Act aloof, but not flip, and be excruciatingly slow to reveal details about yourself, and Scorpio will begin to take the bait. Keep the conversation free of sexual innuendo, but look so hot you could melt a Capricorn. Scorpio colors are purples that pale to lavender, black, shades of gray, and maroon that lightens into pink. Formfitting silk shirts or dresses, underwear from the adult boutique, or anything made of leather will have the Scorpion you're after churning on the inside. On the outside, you'll still get the blank face or maybe the slighest twitch of interest.
haha, oops, I let it slip. Well, let me type this up, and you can kill me afterwards
If you are strong enough to hold out until YOU decide when to slap skin for the first time, remember that Scorpios love the Madonna/whore routine and danger. Invite your Scorpion to an evening out or over to meet the folks. Then provide a semiprivate place, e.g., a dark alley on your way to the theater or your parents' bathroom just before Sunday dinner. Whisper that you are either wearing a metal g-string from Helga's House of Pain or are sans underwear altogether. This will raise Scorpio's lust-o-meter to fry-the-brain. Don't be shy about unzipping trousers or reaching inside panties as you stare directly into his or her eyes. Scorpio's erogenous zone IS his or her erogenous zone. Don't dwadle around playing should-I-or-should-I-not-touch-you-there, or you're liable to find yourself sitting on your ass among the garbage cans or shoved into the bathtub as your Scorpio walks off thinking you are trying to pull a power play. Next time, when you are actually slipping and sliding on those black, satin sheets, sex with a Scorpio is gauranteed to blow both your mind and your body. Role-playing, flavored oils, edible underwear, and sex toys from the harmless to the humongous all will interest a Scorpio. If you want multiple orgasms, this sign can make you come until you depart this mortal plane. If one trusts you, he or she will do anything you ask to give you pleasure. The real secre of Scorpio is that he or she gets off on getting you off. This isn't about selfless love. It's that power thing. But who cares after five or six bouts of endless pleasure?
Sexually, this sign rates a 10. Emotionally, the range swings from 0 upward, and can unexpectedly vacillate, even with a Scorpio who is truly crazy about you. Scorpios become annoyed at too much happiness. This is a combination of fear at having their personal happiness entwined with, or dependent upon, anyone else's, and the understanding, on a soul level, that life is a circle. Most of us experience both abject joy and sorrow during the course of our lifetime. Most of us embrace the joy and forget the sorrow. Not Scorpio. When a Scorpion is too happy, they become suspicious. They wait for the circle to turn and the other shoe to drop. And to ensure they keep the reins of power, he or she is liable to pull some just-plain-mean tricks on you. Verbal abuse, disappearing for a week or longer, and withholding sex even if he or she wants you desperately are just some of the tortuous antics Mr./Mrs. Scorpio is capable of putting you and him- or herself through. So even when you feel you have connected on that soul level, and your Scorpion stays over on the weekends, leaving a toothbrush in your bathroom and a pair of handcuffs in your nightstand, you can't let down your gaurd. The sex will be intense, passionate, and addicting. The war will go on forever.
(I'm sorry, it is mean, but she's mean like this, and points out this stuff in all the signs, I find it refreshing)
HoustonPeach, I will have to get to it eventually, lol. It is a lot of typing. I want to do all the signs eventually, so hopefully you can wait some. If not, you can order the book 🙂
-Surviving One- Hooking up with........[sorry, I don't feel like typing it all]...... The best way to dump one is with a police escort and a pair of Dobermans. Scorpio will never leave you, even if he or she marries someone else. Don't confuse this with Taurus, who's just too lazy to pack up and move out, or Cancer, who's too afraid. A Scorpion thinks that once he or she has screwed you, you belong to him or her forever. Of course, screwing you over counts, too, because you captured his or her attention that long. If the police refuse to come to your house and your dog is a dachshund, change locks and your name and convert as many of your assests to cash as possilbe (haha, what?!). Otherwise, at odd moments for the rest of your life, you're apt to feel the hairs prickle on your neck, as you catch a glimpse of a dark shadow hovering in the nearby bushes. Scorpions are like huge, emotional garbage trucks lumbering along under the weight of every lost love and crises-laden moment of their lives. Both sexes either hate the past or yearn for it.
Cutting off all contact is the only way to totally rid yourself of one. Even one that's dumped you, and is loudly swearing to anyone within earshot about how much he or she hates, reviles, and wishes you every disaster and disease known to mankind, won't stop calling. Or showing up at mutual watering holes. Or ACCIDENTALLY appearing anyplace you frequent. You must ignore this. Don't get drawn into a verbal or physical battle. Don't return the occasional phone call. Don't fall for the appearance of friendship. Don't allow your Scorpio ex any space in your life whatsoever (oo, harsh). If you do get dumped, he or she will also drag the new lover-victim along as witness to your public humiliation. This is the enigma of Scorpio. Pluto, the ["planet"] of destruction, bestows a taste for meaningless curelty in even the best-hearted Scorpion. They remind me of Beast, in Beauty in the Beast. No matter how you scrub them up, they still (emotionally) eat with their hands. The Scorpion reputation for vengeance is fully justified, and unenlightened ones can wait years for the opportunity to shock and humiliate you to try to ruin your reputation. The enlightend ones will just tell all your mutual friends about your nonexistent boobs and cellulite legs or your tweezers-size penis and nonexistent spine. If you want to get even, you must be prepared to be as nasty. If you need to, take barb lessons from a Gemini or polish up your left-handed compliment repertoire with a Sagittarius. It will be worth ducking a few flying objects to see your ex's eyes narrow and lips purse. If you get that curled lip to twitch a bit, you can take pride in knowing that you've sent a zinger right into his or her shriveled little black heart. You can also take comfort (while you're taking therapy) in knowing that Scorpios are victims of their own Five-minute Rule. While you sweated at making the relationship work, Mr/Mrs Scorpio couldnt' give five minutes' worth of real effort. Once its over and you've found yourself a decent Leo, or a faithful Capricorn, the rule instantly reverses, and your ex will think about you every five minutes- for the rest of his or her life.
-Keeping One- Loving a Scorpio really isn't quite the Herculean task its alleged to be. It does take a special person with a special knack for understanding. It is a challenge. So is anything worth having, and the love, loyalty, and commitment of a Scorpio is certainly worth having. Gemini is motivated. Taurus is thrifty. Aries is passionate. Cancer is home loving. Scorpio has all of these traits, plus an inner strength that will see him or her, and you, through any crisis, commotion, or upheavel life hands you. No one is more loyal to a friend or loved one. The mystery of Scorpio--the inense, penetrating stare, purposeful demeanor, and ability to take charge with a cool competency in any crisis--is an outward reflection of the inner potency of FEELING connected with scorpio. Think about Fixed Water. A deep, still well can be cool and lifesaving or stagnant and poisonous. Wells accumulate everything that's tossed in, from wishing coins to murder weapons. Scorpions accumulate emotions in the same manner. And because this is a Fixed sign, the natives virtually never clean out their psyches, forget, truly forgive, or let go. These boys and girls are wound tighter than Grandma's perm. Scorpios have to FEEL that they have the upper hand. You can do anything you want to, within reason (this isn't doormat Pisces), as long as your Scorpion feels that he or she is all-powerful, like the Wizard of Oz.
Some of your life will seem terribly unfair......[so tired].. Some of your life with Scorpio will be beyond wonderful. He or she will protect you, stand by you, and share every joy and sorrow.....[eh, fingers hurt]... All Scorpions share a love of the unknown and an insatiable curiousity about human behavior. Books, movies, or classes on ancient religions or human behavior will appeal. All love sexy, sensual clothing and silk or satin bedding (what sign doesn't?). Ideally Scorpio should live near water. Water renews and rejuvenates all of the water signs, but scorpio needs to see, smell, and feel fresh, clean, flowing water on a regular basis. It helps them wash away some of the accumulation in that bottomless well of emotion. If you live in a land-bound area, try toget your lover to the nearest river, lake, or ocean several times ayear. It takes a tough, savvy, very special person to love a Scorpion on a permanent basis. If you're up to it, you will be loved with a passion that you read about in novels--ones that won't diminish with time.
And it goes on to the next section about Scorpio Moon, Mars, Venus, blah blah blah. goodnight 😉
That A Girl 🙂 cute right? For posting this! Thanks for typing it all up too! You are a sweetheart. Some of this shit was really funny. I have already reserved both copies of Hazel Dixon's book on my library list. So once I start skimming through the books I may have some more to add.
This is some great stuff..I thought Scorpio's were known to be faithful when in a realtionship they value...Any thoughts on this one? As some may know, I'm in a relationship with a scorpio and love to find out all kinds of things out about the sign. I'm still learning (trying to learn) the male Scorpio facial expressions of broodiness/moodiness..HaHa..Most of the time, I've given up trying to "figure" the scorpio out--it truly is pointless--then I read this site and I'm pulled back in...LOL!
You've defo come across the wrong sort AB...I admit some of them are not up to scratch..but boy..phew!..there are some out there..hot stuff..Like my Scorp friend in the USA..trust me he has that stare to make you go weak at the knees..
no, tie you up, satisfy themselves (yeah, harsh) and then watch their partner's eyes, and when they realize there partner is almost there. bam, done, leave them unsatisfied. They did it on purpose. for a point though, I might add, not just to be mean, to make a point
"Since when?? Where are those Scorpio men that'll do all that?? I read about em in a romance novel, but I have yet to ever met that type. " --AprilBaby
It says a Scorpio's LOVE. "A scorpion in love is erotically..." You said you've never experienced their love, only as friends, so you wouldn't know, hehe. I swear I can attest to the truth though
I would attribute it to your sign then, Aries, AprilBaby. Aries and Cancer are very compatible, but Scorp and Aries are not as. lol, that would explain things
LOL @ Bling..yeah you could say that...younger days so to speak!..lol..how sad and pathetic..and now if I see one, I get the overwhelming desire to give them a razor and say "you missed a bit"
oh... SCORING- Best Bets: Cancer Capricorn Pisces Just Good Friends: Virgo Scorpio Sagittarius Please Shoot Yourself Now: Aries Taurus Gemini Libra Leo The Dark Horse: Aquarius
ADS- Scorpio/Aries: Intolerant crank with sex-is-all attitude seeks horny hedonist with flair for marathon sex and megapower plays, for primative, passionate, and ultrashort romance. Scorpio/Taurus: Silent-but-deadly revenge-artist-cum-control-freak seeks judgmental, suspicious critic for a Battle of the Titans relationship. Scorpio/Gemini: Vitriolic-but-sexy mattress junkie with sultry style seeks acrebic relationship savant for sensational sex and interesting but treacherous affair. Scorpio/Cancer: Cryptic meany on permanent power trip seeks needy recluse for mutual victimization, head games, and crisis-to-crisis life style . Misery loves company. Willing to share therapy costs. Scorpio/Leo: Irritable grouch who loves dark places, secret rendezvous, and few people seeks whirling dervish who lives for bright lights and an audience for extreme power struggle. If we live until morning, I'll buy breakfast. Scorpio/Virgo: Critical, irritable killjoy bent on controlling the world seeks critical, irritable nitpicker for mutual verbal flagellation and surprisingly compatible sex. Scorpio/Libra: Icy hot sexual criminal with lots of rope, who's wanted in several bedrooms, seeks emotionally hot and cold blame-layer with whom to swing--for about an hour. Scorpio/Scorpio: Emotional bump-and-grind artist with six ex-lovers and custom whip seeks brooding sheet-savage with lifetime membership to the porno channel for fun and games as only we can understand. Stingers up! Scorpio/Sagittarius: Suspicious pessimist with perpetual axe to grind and myopic love focus seeks cheerful optimist who believes an open relationship should be a two-way street. Interesting midnight conversations. Sensational-but-short-lived sexual heat. Scorpio/Capricorn: Sulky, sultry seducer whose sexual thermostat is set at roast seeks serious, thrifty, socially adept moneymaker for langourous lovemaking and surprisingly long-term love. Scorpio/Aquarius: Sarcastic bore with gold medal in fearsome posturing seeks mental case too self-absorbed to be alarmed. Kinky sex, surprise friendship, could be sweet. Scorpio/Pisces: Ruthless-but misunderstood depressive with desire to enslave and consume seeks vacuous-but-romantic mystic with emotional blind spot and own set of chains. A match made in Heaven.
oh... SCORING- Best Bets: Cancer Capricorn Pisces Just Good Friends: Virgo Scorpio Sagittarius Please Shoot Yourself Now: Aries Taurus Gemini Libra Leo The Dark Horse: Aquarius
ADS- Scorpio/Aries: Intolerant crank with sex-is-all attitude seeks horny hedonist with flair for marathon sex and megapower plays, for primative, passionate, and ultrashort romance. Scorpio/Taurus: Silent-but-deadly revenge-artist-cum-control-freak seeks judgmental, suspicious critic for a Battle of the Titans relationship. Scorpio/Gemini: Vitriolic-but-sexy mattress junkie with sultry style seeks acrebic relationship savant for sensational sex and interesting but treacherous affair. Scorpio/Cancer: Cryptic meany on permanent power trip seeks needy recluse for mutual victimization, head games, and crisis-to-crisis life style . Misery loves company. Willing to share therapy costs. Scorpio/Leo: Irritable grouch who loves dark places, secret rendezvous, and few people seeks whirling dervish who lives for bright lights and an audience for extreme power struggle. If we live until morning, I'll buy breakfast. Scorpio/Virgo: Critical, irritable killjoy bent on controlling the world seeks critical, irritable nitpicker for mutual verbal flagellation and surprisingly compatible sex. Scorpio/Libra: Icy hot sexual criminal with lots of rope, who's wanted in several bedrooms, seeks emotionally hot and cold blame-layer with whom to swing--for about an hour. Scorpio/Scorpio: Emotional bump-and-grind artist with six ex-lovers and custom whip seeks brooding sheet-savage with lifetime membership to the porno channel for fun and games as only we can understand. Stingers up! Scorpio/Sagittarius: Suspicious pessimist with perpetual axe to grind and myopic love focus seeks cheerful optimist who believes an open relationship should be a two-way street. Interesting midnight conversations. Sensational-but-short-lived sexual heat. Scorpio/Capricorn: Sulky, sultry seducer whose sexual thermostat is set at roast seeks serious, thrifty, socially adept moneymaker for langourous lovemaking and surprisingly long-term love. Scorpio/Aquarius: Sarcastic bore with gold medal in fearsome posturing seeks mental case too self-absorbed to be alarmed. Kinky sex, surprise friendship, could be sweet. Scorpio/Pisces: Ruthless-but misunderstood depressive with desire to enslave and consume seeks vacuous-but-romantic mystic with emotional blind spot and own set of chains. A match made in Heaven.
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can this work..me and my scorpio have been together for more than a week and we cant get enough of eachother...do u have any advice 4 me in the future in how to deal with my scorpio
this one's a looong story, guys, but let me shorten it up by saying that i (a male scorpio) have been on-and-off involved with a female aries for a little over two years, now. she is very textbook aries (short-tempered, low patience, aggressive, impulsive
Have any of you scorps ever feared or continue to fear death? Do you intellectualize/imagine it's contents or do you just hate the idea?....I myself feel it can just be an end like most things no lesser, no greater; it is a new way; that is it. penny for
Blimey! where do I start. Have had such an overwhelming week. I bumped into my first ever love (Scorpio) of 10 years ago. The choice to break up was never ours and we loved each other sooooooooooooooo much. As you can imagine, we are both a bit shocked. W
Guys I need to know why is it that when women treat you really sweet and kind you walk all over her but when she becomes mean, nasty and distant you chase her?
Ladies you can chime in if you want :) ya know I can't leave my girls out...
HI-LOW!! VE, and it's kinda dark in here, but definetly likable to the nth degree!! Hey um, scorp ladies question; when a Virguy show his emotions, and expresses himself to you, after you plead with him for keeping his distance/reserve do you get all reta
"On Sept. 7, the former ninth planet was assigned the asteroid number 134340 by the Minor Planet Center (MPC), the official organization responsible for collecting data abou
She uses humor and sarcasm to exaggerate and explain each sign (sun, moon, mars, and venus). These are just made up for laughs, they're researched, but its just putting some humor into it. Hopefully it doesn't offend anybody. Its all about romance/lovin'
I'll put up some of Chapter9, on Scorpio "I put a spell on you".
-----------------------
Element: water. Steam heat is soothing, healing, and purifying. It can also asphyxiate, scald, and parboil.
Quality: Fixed, on secrets. What you see is seldom what you get.
Symbol: The Scorpion. Even making love is a duel to the death.
Ruler: Mars and Pluto. In this dynamic duo, Mars builds you up with megahot, intense passion, then Pluto-the-Destructor drop-kicks your heart into the next county. Just for fun.
Romantic Idol: Michael Corleone.
Romantic style : Sarcastic head case.
Favorite Pickup Line: "Hi."
Dream First Date: Locks eyes with a beautiful stranger, has ten or twelve hours of nonstop, ultrawicked, steamy, passionate sex. No names or words are exchanged. Stranger is never seen again. Scorpio has another lost love to mourn.
Erogenous Zone: Sex Organs. Has terminal sexual heat rash. No cure. Seeks frequent treatment.
Sexual Quirk: Carries an emergency kit of sex toys in the trunk of the car. [haha! almost true!]