Male Scorpios, Need Advice

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by HurtAriesGirl on Wednesday, August 19, 2015 and has 22 replies.
A few months ago, Scorp and I connected on an atomic level., He said I was everything he wanted. He was certainly what I wanted. He broke up with me, then 12 days later reconsidered. We were back together for a couple of weeks, confessed atomic feelings for each other but not love (I was too intense = Aries) and he had some issues going on and he emailed me a breakup again. He would not talk, just said that he could not be everything I wanted and I was not everything he wanted. His email message suggested that I was too intense and he did not think I could learn to dance.

I let it sit for 5 weeks then sent him a text asking if we could talk. He took six days then replied that we could. He sounded normal on the phone but said that my inability to dance was the main problem (he is a dance instructor and, hard as it is to believe, they are crazy about dance). I guess I should admit that I have a certain intuition about what he is feeling, I know when he is upset without him having to tell me, etc; While we were broken up, I took a TON of dance lessons (nobody was ever going to break up with me in the future for this reason). So, he was surprised when he learned that I had taken the lessons. And, since I love dancing with him, I asked him if he would do lessons for me, he said "I would LOVE to do lessons with you!" He was shocked by how far I had progressed. (Aries, I will get the job done)

So,now we have had 5 dance lessons, it is the only time I get to see him. He insisted we do them at my house instead of a dance studio. (?) I don't share the details of my life with him. But he interrogates me incessantly when he finds out I have been away until he knows in excruciatingly detail where I have been and who I have been with (my girlfriends or my children)..

He has been incrementally more physical with each dance lesson. It is clear that he has feelings for me, and just last week he was so delighted with a response I gave to a question that he took two steps, put his palms on my cheeks (which is what he used to do when intimate) and kissed me briefly on the lips. He has done other similar things that my other dance instructors don't do. So, here is my question: Do I continue to exercise patience or give up?

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Sounds shallow to me.

I don't want to be with you because you can't dance.

*takes lessons from someone other than the boyfriend/ex bf/ dance instructor*

Oh you can dance a bit now.

I think I'll give you some lessons now... But at your house... Not the studio... It's more convenient for when I feel like I want to stick my dick into you.

If he didn't feel you were good enough before and nothing has changed then he will still think you're not good enough.

Just because you can do a bit of salsa now or whatever doesn't change much.

Do you want to be with someone who discounts you entirely just because you couldn't dance?

It's hardly a big factor if he genuinely liked you. Sounds like an excuse to me.
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Posted by Rabbit
Not shallow at all...

1) Dancing is a big part of some cultures

And

2) If you're passionate about something in your life, you probably want the person you're with to share that passion as well.



And the rest?

This is more than just 'can you dance?'

No.

Ok I'm not interested in you.

I recall the original posts of this story.

If he liked her aside from the dancing then this would be a great opportunity for them to bond and share a passion. After all, he IS a dance instructor...

He snubbed her/she had lessons from someone else.

He just sounds a bit off to me but then it's only her side her.
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What are atomic feelings?
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Although "Rabbit" makes some great points, most of which I actually agree with, I still say that is some shallow sh*t to break up with someone cause they dont dance....come on lol I love my sports and I always refer to myself as a fake movie buff, but breaking up with a girl Im crazy abt cause she rather read a book than watch a movie or rather watches love and hip hop over sports is shallow, very shallow...somewhat ignorant at same time....
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Posted by Impulsv
Yeah I know some who are into dancing every weekend
Not my cup of tee but I can see wanting to be with Someone who is up for it. I mean will she be ok if he stays home n he goes dancing. Now breaking for not being good different if she was willing to try.
But if he's an instructor he should be willing to
Teach her



This was my point earlier.

We all have passions, hobbies, check lists of what we do and don't want in a partner etc. However, he didn't think about this dancing thing as a deal breaker before they got it together and it was some time later that he suddenly felt it was so vitally important that he had to break it off with her. If it was THAT important then it would have been on the 'no compromise' list. He said she couldn't dance and would be unable to learn. Instead of him teaching her and sharing his passion with her especially since she expressed interest, he dumped her. A few times. By email... Saying the no dancing and intensity was no good...

As the other member said, a Scorp complaining of intensity? I think not.

The points raised here are sound. I just think there's more to it. I think she could continue as it is but set boundaries. She's not going to get the result she wants unless he knows what he wants.

Doesn't this sound like 'Dirty Dancing'???
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Posted by AgentP911
I recall the original posts of this story.... He just sounds a bit off to me but then it's only her side her.

This.
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Posted by AgentP911

Doesn't this sound like 'Dirty Dancing'???




One of the best movie soundtracks.
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Totally agree ^^^
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Posted by Rabbit
I personally think dancing is silly as shit.


Only when you do it like this:
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Those people in that video have mad skills compared to mine Straight Face
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Nothing beats this video:

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Posted by Rabbit
I'm a white man. I know I can't dance.

So I avoid it like a plague infested rat.

Meh. Some people don't allow themselves to just enjoy the music and feel like they have to perform. Have fun! Move dem hips Rabbit. You'll like it Big Grin
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Posted by Rabbit
I'm a white man. I know I can't dance.



Post a vid. I don't believe you


Big Grin
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Posted by Rabbit



Laughing. Well played.
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I appreciate the feedback from all of you. He lived in Puerto Rico where dance was VERY important. I did not understand this aspect of him in time. Of course, the intensity and lack of dance knowledge were not the only reasons he broke up with me. I can identify others, but they are minor and very fixable on my part (in his opinion I have too many male friends, for example - he is very jealous). Also he had family issues to concentrate on when he broke up with me. One issue still remains and it may involve him moving to another state. I know that when we were together this was a concern for him because he did not want either of us to get hurt if he had to move.

I think he would not have agreed at all to give me dance lessons if he was done with me. And, although the dance lessons have been at my house, he has not tried to get me in bed at all. But...it has been 3 months and feelings fade. I guess I will continue to be patient and see what transpires.
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I think the bigger picture says more than everything. Perhaps it's a case of bad timing. It seems there's much against this or he's not sure or not ready or has other things to focus on unrelated to you such as the possible move and family.

Despite everything I'd still say just see how it all goes. If you're enjoying his company/dance lessons then just keep it as that right now.

he doesn't seem able to give you more right now.

Unfortunately, people do get themselves into situations and then rethink or realise they don't want this etc. It happens.
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"he doesn't seem able to give you more right now. "

Good point...you are absolutely correct. I won't push for more.
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Okay, I get that he is giving me all he can. From his May break-up email:

"Coming out of the relationship I've had, I said I needed to take care of me first and with the intensity you give me it was becoming harder what of me you wanted and what I can give." Direct quote.

But ...he is giving more of himself every time I see him. Yesterday's dance lesson was at a social club I belong to (bigger dance floor than my kitchen, dining room and living room) and his actions were very positive from my perspective (VERY affectionate, telling me where he had danced this week and interrogating me on my activities, telling me what his family issues were, suggesting we linger for a drink afterwards next time, etc.)

So, thanks for your wise counsel....I am just going to hang out and see what happens. It appears currently that things may be headed in the right direction (slowly).
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Good choice. If it leads to more then great. If it doesn't then you've had a nice time dancing with a fella and that's all. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
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If I were you, I would pull back a bit from focusing on pleasing Scorpio dance instructor, and play it a little cooler. He is using ddance as a way to stay in control of the relationship. He doesn't sseem that interested in you, other than as a dance partner. Practice detachment: if he is really interested in you, he will show it. If not, let him continue to dance with himself, because, if that is the case, that is all he is really doing. Vicariously.
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LMAO
If he doesn't fit you must aquit.
He sounds bitchmade of the highest order.

You are a Ram. You need a very strong male who knows who he is. This dude ain't it.
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