Manipulative? Playing games? Or Sincere?
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by PeanutBrown on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 and has 83 replies.
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Ok...I made the decision to walk away from my Scorpio because lately I've been getting crazy vibes and my sanity at this point is more important. Here's the scenario...
Friday: Leaves me "Just thinking about you" message on my work voicemail.
That evening we were supposed to get together and all of the sudden an emergency comes up. (Which he didn't want to share). I told him don't worry about it and lets get together Saturday
Saturday: I didn't hear from him, until I called him that evening. He was tied with his son and didn't have a babysitter. I decided to go out and have my own fun. He ended up calling me while I was out and we hooked up for a drink. When I saw him I just felt that something wasn't right and I told him how I felt and again he say's "I love you", "I wish I could see you everyday"...yada...yada...yada
Sunday: I decided to let go, because he say's one thing, but his actions show differently. My sanity is more important! Didn't call him, but he called me. He asked me to call him later...I didn't.
Monday: Didn't call, refused to pick up the phone, but he called me several times at work.
Tuesday: I got three calls. (1) What the fuk, where have you been? (2) I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. (3) I was just thinking about you and I miss you. On all three calls I was very nice, but I'm sure he could sense my distance.
WTF!!! What is going on with this Scorpio? Me being a Cancer I've already retreated to my shell, so I'm trying to figure out to handle this?
Friday: Leaves me "Just thinking about you" message on my work voicemail.
That evening we were supposed to get together and all of the sudden an emergency comes up. (Which he didn't want to share). I told him don't worry about it and lets get together Saturday
Saturday: I didn't hear from him, until I called him that evening. He was tied with his son and didn't have a babysitter. I decided to go out and have my own fun. He ended up calling me while I was out and we hooked up for a drink. When I saw him I just felt that something wasn't right and I told him how I felt and again he say's "I love you", "I wish I could see you everyday"...yada...yada...yada
Sunday: I decided to let go, because he say's one thing, but his actions show differently. My sanity is more important! Didn't call him, but he called me. He asked me to call him later...I didn't.
Monday: Didn't call, refused to pick up the phone, but he called me several times at work.
Tuesday: I got three calls. (1) What the fuk, where have you been? (2) I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. (3) I was just thinking about you and I miss you. On all three calls I was very nice, but I'm sure he could sense my distance.
WTF!!! What is going on with this Scorpio? Me being a Cancer I've already retreated to my shell, so I'm trying to figure out to handle this?
Roxi: This 'push/pull' syndrome...Can you elaborate more?
I concur with Roxi. This is exactly how they are.
Peanut are you in Chicago?
Peanut are you in Chicago?
Thanks Roxi! I feel like a "friggin" yo-yo already! That's why I was telling myself that I have to get out of this before I lose my mind! My first love was a Scorpio and we were off and on from the ages 16 to 21...Until I had finally had enough and I was through for good! That was many years ago, I'm now 36...I should have known better! I've been through this form of craziness before! WTF was I thinking? LOL
Hey Queen! I am in Chicago...How did you know?
Peanut, how is he is he 36?
No he's 40...
Woah... That was close. Your story was waayyy too familiar. I thought we were talking about the same scorp for a sec... LOL!!!
That is crazy!!! I was thinking...OH HELL NO!!! LOL
Peanut are you sure he is 40? Too much similarity. How many children does he have?
wow
***maybe you can share his first initial to make sure you are not talking about the same man ...***
We have, his name and son's name totally different. Age as well.
We have, his name and son's name totally different. Age as well.
Ok...I've been trying to let go...It's so hard because I really do care for him (Scorpio), but the way he's been acting the past few weeks I've put my guard up and it's hard for me to let it down and trust him again. I'm really trying to figure out if he's being sincere. I haven't picked up the phone to call him since Saturday, he's been doing all the calling and he's called everyday since Saturday. Telling me that he misses me...He loves me...He wants to get me out of town...etc.
I've been nice to him and sweet to him over the phone, but I don't say I miss him or love him unless he says it first and I also stop sending cute text messages. He said he needed to see me tonight and I told him I couldn't. I told him that I was trying to see him the last few weekends and he wasn't available. I'm not playing games, I'm just really guarded at this point and I don't know what to do. I want to let my guard down, but his actions (being distant, canceling plans, taking hours to call back, etc.) have made it hard for me to be so free with my emotions again. Can I trust that "Scorpio" is being sincere with his feelings? Or does he sense my pulling away and now he's panicking?
I've been nice to him and sweet to him over the phone, but I don't say I miss him or love him unless he says it first and I also stop sending cute text messages. He said he needed to see me tonight and I told him I couldn't. I told him that I was trying to see him the last few weekends and he wasn't available. I'm not playing games, I'm just really guarded at this point and I don't know what to do. I want to let my guard down, but his actions (being distant, canceling plans, taking hours to call back, etc.) have made it hard for me to be so free with my emotions again. Can I trust that "Scorpio" is being sincere with his feelings? Or does he sense my pulling away and now he's panicking?
He is panicking. However, because of your situations you can only see eachother when feasable. You cannot expect to see him like he is single (without another partner who is clearly comitted to).
They panick, my scorp friend called me at work twice today after he called himself having a fit because I told him our circumstances and stages we are in right now would not be fit to have a relationship and won't be good for the future. Different situation from Peanuts though. We are both separated from our ex wife/hubby. My divorce is being finalized as we speak. He hasn't even started his process but his ex lives in another city. Still there are other issue that I really don't think would make him the man for me. His behaviour and life situation etc. But he is such a good person and I enjoy spending time with him.
They panick, my scorp friend called me at work twice today after he called himself having a fit because I told him our circumstances and stages we are in right now would not be fit to have a relationship and won't be good for the future. Different situation from Peanuts though. We are both separated from our ex wife/hubby. My divorce is being finalized as we speak. He hasn't even started his process but his ex lives in another city. Still there are other issue that I really don't think would make him the man for me. His behaviour and life situation etc. But he is such a good person and I enjoy spending time with him.
Peanut protect your heart. If the two of you will never be together then don't invest all into it.
Thanks QS for all your great and insightful advice...
I was really trying to let go because this is killing me and I know that ultimately we could never truly be together. I really do care about this person so it's not so easy to turn off the feelings. I thought for sure he was pushing me away with the way he was acting, so even though it hurt I told myself to "woman up" and let it go. Now he's saying all the right things...I guess a part of me really doesn't want to let go...Do you think he's sincere in his feelings for me?
What's holding you back from your Scorp? Do you really love him? If so, can't you work through those issues? We all have baggage that we carry...Isn't he worth it?
I was really trying to let go because this is killing me and I know that ultimately we could never truly be together. I really do care about this person so it's not so easy to turn off the feelings. I thought for sure he was pushing me away with the way he was acting, so even though it hurt I told myself to "woman up" and let it go. Now he's saying all the right things...I guess a part of me really doesn't want to let go...Do you think he's sincere in his feelings for me?
What's holding you back from your Scorp? Do you really love him? If so, can't you work through those issues? We all have baggage that we carry...Isn't he worth it?
Bottom line, if the two of you will never be together? Why put yourselves through it all?
He is probably realizing the same as you and it is killing him too. Think about it? You two will have to either let it go before it kills you or let your partners go and be together. These are the ultimate choices. Again, children are not a reason to stay together if you aren't happy. They can feel the strain and unhappiness and it affects them as well. Trust me I know.
I sent you a PM Peanut.
He is probably realizing the same as you and it is killing him too. Think about it? You two will have to either let it go before it kills you or let your partners go and be together. These are the ultimate choices. Again, children are not a reason to stay together if you aren't happy. They can feel the strain and unhappiness and it affects them as well. Trust me I know.
I sent you a PM Peanut.
Oh, my scorp friend isn't right for me in the long run. I know this.
QS...I didn't get the PM...
Peanut. I wrote a book. It should be there now... LOL!!!
FF the problem is I am a scorp too and well, ya know.... We don't do the being bosses around and waiting for you to get your head outa your ass and the testing thing well. Like them, we move on because we don't settle. Too much similarity I guess. I was starting to think something was wrong with me, because I was always the one to leave a relationship. Never been left. I even thought about making someone leave me the next time so that I can feel normal. I can be the most committed person when in love though. I know, sick. I am a scorp we are complex at times.
Thanks for the feedback FF...I have been ready to jump off the bridge many a day. LOL...
I have spilled the beans many of times...That's why I'm crazy now and feeling so vulnerable. Well I was feeling vulnerable. Since I've pulled back a bit and gained some sanity back it's getting easier.
**so after you get totally abused by them....
and after they TEST THE butter OUT OF YOU FOR MONTHS IF NOT LONGER.....
if you are still around......
thats when they cave and tell you that "you made it"
you passed the tests.
you MAY STAY.
LMAO.**
Before "I make it"...I'll be dead and gone...LMAO
I have spilled the beans many of times...That's why I'm crazy now and feeling so vulnerable. Well I was feeling vulnerable. Since I've pulled back a bit and gained some sanity back it's getting easier.
**so after you get totally abused by them....
and after they TEST THE butter OUT OF YOU FOR MONTHS IF NOT LONGER.....
if you are still around......
thats when they cave and tell you that "you made it"
you passed the tests.
you MAY STAY.
LMAO.**
Before "I make it"...I'll be dead and gone...LMAO
I don't know. I think in the scorp/scorp combo there will always be a push and pull though because neither side gives in easily... I can see some signs submitting to a scorp man but they can be way controlling however seem to love a woman who won't be controlled at the same time. Wierd.
Funny I used to despise scorp men. They're sarcasm and just control trips used to vex me. However I admit they were all good men especially to their children. My godfather is a scorp. Spoils me to death and a great father above all else. My scorp friend is the first scorp to draw any attraction from me at all. He is such a good guy. Just probably not the guy for me in the long run. I will remain close friends with him forever. If he can draw the line between commitment and noncomittment. I guess he thinks he owns his friends as well. LOL!!!
QS...I replied to your PM.
hey pb: what's going on with your scorp? any progress on the situation?
FloridaFemale: i love your comments on scorp males. always on the point. you should write a scorp men book
any other advice??? i bow before you...
any other advice??? i bow before you...Hey Aries Girl! It's funny that you ask about my Scorp. I've been trying to let him go because now I think he's playing games. Or maybe it could be my own insecurities because I over analyze a lot of s_ _t!
He called five times yesterday!!! We were supposed to hook up last night. I called him around 8pm got his voicemail. I didn't leave a message and he didn't call back either.
He called this afternoon supposedly with an attitude because he said I never reached out to him last night. I told him I called ( he claims the call didn't come across on his cell);and if he had expected to see me and didn't hear from me why didn't he call. Of course I got some excuse...This man is driving me insane!!! It's too long to go into everything that's been happening over the last week. He's telling me everything I want to hear, but his actions are saying something different. I don't know what to think anymore...
He called five times yesterday!!! We were supposed to hook up last night. I called him around 8pm got his voicemail. I didn't leave a message and he didn't call back either.
He called this afternoon supposedly with an attitude because he said I never reached out to him last night. I told him I called ( he claims the call didn't come across on his cell);and if he had expected to see me and didn't hear from me why didn't he call. Of course I got some excuse...This man is driving me insane!!! It's too long to go into everything that's been happening over the last week. He's telling me everything I want to hear, but his actions are saying something different. I don't know what to think anymore...
Aries Girl: How are you and your Scorp doing?
Pluto: The Scorpio is a very complex individual! They say don't chase, let them do the chasing. Then when we will pull back they say it's a sign of rejection. WTF!!!
Do Scorpios say things that they don't mean? Today I asked him if he trusted me and he said "yes" and asked in return if I trusted him. He told me if he could he would give me the world. I have knots in my stomach trying to figure this man out...His actions are saying something completely different.
Do Scorpios say things that they don't mean? Today I asked him if he trusted me and he said "yes" and asked in return if I trusted him. He told me if he could he would give me the world. I have knots in my stomach trying to figure this man out...His actions are saying something completely different.
Aries Girl: How are you and your Scorp doing? - we had few really good days last week and this week. getting to know each other better and closer. basically, when we're together it's always good when we're apart i'm not sure what's going on. i guess, it's because we're in the tangle stage when it's not an official relationship yet. will keep you posted.
my advice to you is not to play who's going to reach out 1st game. it doesn't worth it at the end. either call him yourself or pick up when he calls. shove your pride aside because, as i said, it doesn't worth the agrevation at the end. the more you'll play the more he'll play. so, if you want it to stop then stop it yourself. i know easier said then done but try it. let me know
my advice to you is not to play who's going to reach out 1st game. it doesn't worth it at the end. either call him yourself or pick up when he calls. shove your pride aside because, as i said, it doesn't worth the agrevation at the end. the more you'll play the more he'll play. so, if you want it to stop then stop it yourself. i know easier said then done but try it. let me know
AG: You're right...I do need to try and put my pride aside. I'm working on it. I already feel like my head is spinning so I worry about putting myself out there too much because of the fear of rejection and being hurt because I'm really crazy about my Scorp.
Good luck with your Scorp! I'm glad to hear that you two are doing well.
Good luck with your Scorp! I'm glad to hear that you two are doing well.
Sagigoat: What are the three levels?
pb: every time you want to "start playing" count to 3 and exale and don't play and push your pride aside!!! at this point you have nothing to loose and maybe something to gain. so, just get it over with and talk. try to be honest even if you don't want to know. if can't be honest with each other then there is no trust or relationship and it will end in a nightmare.
Pluto: Thanks for the honest feedback. I know it sounds young...That's what happens when you start thinking with your heart and not your head. You feel like you're 16 all over again...LOL
Deep down I know I ultimately have to make the decision to continue on.
Deep down I know I ultimately have to make the decision to continue on.
Do Scorpios say things that they don't mean? - doesn't it apply to everybody and not only scorps. It's usually a red flag when things are not that great. if you feel like it's happening you should nicely approach the issue without being pushy. maybe, he's not realizing it himself
AG: Thanks for the insight!
hopefully it helps pb. let me know.
U`C`ME - you're right! just give in and let it go. we'll rule later
lol - just let it go
FF- thanks for the inside. actually, you just helped me on some points i was wondering about
Thank you guys so much for this wonderful feedback! I just climb off the bridge :Op
AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! Because you definitely have your hands full...ROTFL...
As a matter of fact I'm going to give you another AMEN and a HALLELUAH!
As a matter of fact I'm going to give you another AMEN and a HALLELUAH!
I already called...I told him I needed some kisses and he told me he needed some "expletive"...He told me that I've been holding out on him...
Oooo...I guess I'm in trouble ;o)
Oooo...I guess I'm in trouble ;o)
U C ME: I'm confused!
**He bought out every ex girlfriend ever...Just rubbed it in my face that all these women still wanted him. He did it in an indirect way.**
What would make him behave this way? Does he get off on your seeing you in pain? I don't know if that's a healthy in a relationship.
**He bought out every ex girlfriend ever...Just rubbed it in my face that all these women still wanted him. He did it in an indirect way.**
What would make him behave this way? Does he get off on your seeing you in pain? I don't know if that's a healthy in a relationship.
If these are tests that U C ME's Scorp is playing with her they seem kind of cruel.
U C ME: You heard it directly from the Scorp's mouth.
WOW!
WOW!
**the scorp dude wants to let you know RIGHT AWAY who the boss is. DO NOT CHALLENGE/TEST HIM. he will PLOW YOU DOWN verbally. he KNOWS how to push your buttons. he knows WHERE YOUR WEAKNESS is and he will go there and EAT YOU ALIVE.**
OMG!!! You are so on point with this statement...
OMG!!! You are so on point with this statement...
Pluto: LMAO! We would never let that happen to you!!!
I dont know what signs you ladies are or what's showing in your charts but...
"the scorp dude wants to let you know RIGHT AWAY who the boss is. DO NOT CHALLENGE/TEST HIM. he will PLOW YOU DOWN verbally. he KNOWS how to push your buttons. he knows WHERE YOUR WEAKNESS is and he will go there and EAT YOU ALIVE."
Are you KIDDING me??? I've been around a lot of scorps. Fortunately or maybe unfortunately I'm a scorp magnet...meaning every man who has been in my life is a scorpio in one way or another, i.e. sun, moon, venus, rising.
I'm a challenge by nature...but then again that's my personality and it's what works obviously. All I can tell you is be yourself around these men and DO NOT be afraid to trample their hearts every now and then. By this I mean, DO NOT be afraid to speak your mind or stand your ground because...Oh my gosh he wont call again.
Stop acting like these men are soooo sensitive you have to act like someone else. If you're comfortable with completely changing for him then by all means do so - if not, you're not doing yourself any favors. No man...scorp or not, is worth you having to conform into someone you cant recognise. Ironically conforming to what he wants will make you lose him in the long run.
Yes, relationships are about compromise but not in the way some of these threads are suggesting. It's friggin ridiculous and will NOT work, I guarantee you that.
"the scorp dude wants to let you know RIGHT AWAY who the boss is. DO NOT CHALLENGE/TEST HIM. he will PLOW YOU DOWN verbally. he KNOWS how to push your buttons. he knows WHERE YOUR WEAKNESS is and he will go there and EAT YOU ALIVE."
Are you KIDDING me??? I've been around a lot of scorps. Fortunately or maybe unfortunately I'm a scorp magnet...meaning every man who has been in my life is a scorpio in one way or another, i.e. sun, moon, venus, rising.
I'm a challenge by nature...but then again that's my personality and it's what works obviously. All I can tell you is be yourself around these men and DO NOT be afraid to trample their hearts every now and then. By this I mean, DO NOT be afraid to speak your mind or stand your ground because...Oh my gosh he wont call again.
Stop acting like these men are soooo sensitive you have to act like someone else. If you're comfortable with completely changing for him then by all means do so - if not, you're not doing yourself any favors. No man...scorp or not, is worth you having to conform into someone you cant recognise. Ironically conforming to what he wants will make you lose him in the long run.
Yes, relationships are about compromise but not in the way some of these threads are suggesting. It's friggin ridiculous and will NOT work, I guarantee you that.
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