My first and last boyfriend

Was in my senior year of high school. I was new to the school and had physiology class with him.
He would always stare at me and I would stare back. Even if he was talking to someone else, he would end up staring at me. I was not physically/ sexually attracted to him whatsoever. He was maybe an inch taller than me and I am very short, and he only wore collared shirts. I myself dressed like a school girl, almost in uniform, but fashion still mattered to me. We were the top two students in the class, and I had fun challenging his logic. He seemed to get aroused by the friction mental debates create, so it was like we were having "sex" in public. I knew we would end up dating for a long time, and I also knew that it would probably be toxic.
This boy was a Scorpio sun with Leo moon and Cancer rising.
I am a Leo sun with Virgo moon and Scorpio rising.
We started dating two months after we met, and when Christmas break came, I still didn't have his number or vice versa. But he said, it's only 3 weeks. So I sucked it up and during those 3 weeks became obsessed with him. When we were back in school, he treated me the same. I had found out through getting to know him that he is a germaphobe and hates being touched or hugged. But I was the first to hold his hand. I was the first to receive a hug. This made me feel very special and made me feel like I was craving him even though he did not smile much or give physical affection unless I asked. When Valentine's Day came around, he did not bring it up. We acted as though it was a normal day. Meanwhile my friend in psychology class was complaining about how her bf only gave her a dumb teddy bear and fake flowers. And a ring she doesn't like. And chocolates that make her fat. So out of warry sarcasm I said, "Yeah, you're present sucks. My guy gave me a sincere smile and some air. Yours should take lessons".
The other Scorpio guy who was in my psychology and physiology class (we became very good friends) seemed hurt by this and would start to make fun of my boyfriend the more facts I shared about our strange interactions. Sadly, I laughed, because his humor was very goofy and sarcastic as well.
When spring break came, my bf and I finally exchanged numbers. He apologized for being stuck in his habits of having no one who relies on him, and he being lost in his studies. He often said he was called a heartless bastard, incapable of feeling. Part 2 coming up...

He said he wanted me to fix him. I told him I couldn't change him, he had to do it himself, but I hoped that by being his gf I could just be around long enough for him to change on his own and I would be the first to receive his loving side.
By the end of the year, I would call him and he would be "unaware" of me until I was up in his face. He was not holding my hand anymore, or giving me hugs. Except the one time I cried because a popular girl was bullying one of the special needs children I help for a club. He held me very tightly then. Meanwhile I felt like I had to cut ties with the other Scorpio, because I knew he liked me and I knew I wasn't helping by letting him rest his head on my shoulder, defending him, and laughing at his jokes. One day we even showed up wearing the same black hoodie under a black jacket, with a white shirt and jeans. But my bf was oblivious (we all had physiology class if you remember). During graduation I tried to call my bf so we could coordinate sitting next to eachother, but he didn't answer. Meanwhile the other boy, his bff who was also my friend, and a girl friend I made who had a crush on the bff, all met up and had a fun time. I saw my bf once in line, and asked if he was excited, and his friend told me that he doesn't like large crowds. I said, "I know", trying to keep myself from sounding bitterly sarcastic, because not many people even realized he we were dating.
And the sad truth is, we never went on dates during school. After graduating, he called once because I asked him to, or else every three weeks he would text me to plan a date. On the date, he would never reveal anything more about him. In car rides, he would be silent the whole way. Because I had researched his natal chart, I became obsessed with who he would be if he opened up to me. But my chart says that if there is lack of communication, if it causes enough stress, it could cause psychosomatic problems for me. And that is exactly what happened. Last part coming up...

When we would go to eat out, I would end up throwing up in the bathroom. Then every time we met, I needed to throw up. Then when I merely thought about him, I threw up. I cried so hard that I thought I was going to lose even more weight by crying relentlessly. My birthday came, and suddenly this boy who did not show emotion was complimenting me, smiling, gushing, and following me every where. I was confused. And I threw up. On the floor. I was sure every one saw.
He invited me to his Thanksgiving dinner two months later, and I had to refuse. I met with him the next time of course to break up with him. And he said he knew it, because his family was telling him. And that he understood that it was because he was very closed off. He didn't cry but his voice was alarming when he talked. His face stoic but his voice shaking. I had never heard him sound like that before.
So I still have never received a present from a boy. Never had a first kiss, never been romantically caressed. Even though I though I was in love with this Scorpio guy. He was a gentleman, and the first boy I ever met who could intellectually challenge me. He just had deep issues that I could not penetrate. And I though that by not forcing myself on him, his metamorphosis could take place as it should, without interference. But I ended up feeling very stifled in the process. So there's my story.

Your partnership brings you anxiety disorder, either you work it up with mental health professional since you said it was on your chart and him being closet of his feelings resulting to lack of communication for the two of you which causes too much anxiety on your part.
I think you haven't invested much of your emotion in this relationship so I agree with you ending the relationship with him. I know he was your first bf but a relationship should prosper both participants and in this union you are suffering something for some reason.
It may sound cliche but there's a lot of fish in the ocean find the one that will make you feel better.
I could be wrong. You know better and as you write it I know you have a good head over your shoulder.

*my apology if I may upset you with the mental word*