My Scorp gf impressed me

Ok to start things off i'm your typical pisces male which is both good and bad (i'm not gonna lie) depending on how you look at it. Anyways, the most amazing thing just happened to me pertaining to my gf. She was out where I live for a couple months and that's how we met. We talked and saw each other often and immediately fell in love. We just clicked on that other level that you can't really describe you just feel it. She's a scorp.

Anyways she eventually went back to her home state and a couple months passed but we kept in touch over the phone on a daily basis. She's there to stay and was adamant about me going down there and staying for good starting the end of this month. Not just going and leaving then coming back. She wanted me to move in with her right off the bat. And that was the whole plan all along. I'm not gonna lie, the thought was a tad overwhelming because she lives in a small town as opposed to me living in the city. I would have to get a car, find work, and adapt to that enviroment which I am a stranger too, which I was more than willing to do because my love for her is so deep but i would have prefered to go there and test the waters for a bit, see what it's like to live with her, come home then eventually go there and commit. I was always leaning towards a roundtrip ticket as opposed to a one way all along but I was gonna swallow what i wanted and do what was gonna make her happy because she's important to me.

Well tonight, her sences kicked in, and over the phone she finally let out what i had been sensing the past 4-5 days but was waiting to see when she was gonna come out and say it. She got scared now that reality is only weeks away. She's scared I'll go and not like it or living with her but im stuck. She's scared of the stress her family is gonna put on her about some guy living with her off the bat without getting to know them. She's scared she might not like living with me but feel stuck because she had me 1 way it. As bad as she wants me to stay off the bat, she can deal with a few visits, like me going for a week then going back in 2-3 weeks. As long as she knows i'll eventually go there permenantly in a few months she can deal with it. She was afraid to tell me this because she thought i would get pissed off at her and drop her right then and there. Any other man would have dumped her, but this was like a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. Now I can go and test the waters like i wanted all along. My gf made me proud ;

Oh yeah and she's incredibly possesive. Basically a scorp by the book. What does her actions say about her nature?

Hmmmm, I tend to prefer to follow my instincts and my heart. That being said, I tend to also have a very practical / realistic side that can come in conflict with my desire to always stay true to my heart (a defense mechanism perhaps to protect from being hurt by "my following my heart" not working out). Her heart wants to go into this as a classically defined Scorp endeavor (all or nothing). But, her mind sees the practical / realistic side that such a thing could get her hurt. I believe her slowing down of the physical "all or nothing" (your one-way trip) is an attempt to slow down the emotional "all or nothing" until her mind is a little more sure of the safety in such an action. Whether the "not working out" is on your end or hers, at the very least you have the emotional pain from the general concept of a dream not working out, and at the most you have the emotional pain from the far more personal concept of losing you, your relationship, and your future together.

That being said, I would take her coming completely forward with you as a positive sign. I would take it as she trusts you and cares for you a great deal. I do not generally easily trust voicing my fears to anyone...

You are willing to just pack up your life and completely relocate it for her? That is very Scorp of you... Kudos! 🙂

Interesting about the "voicing her fears" part you said

She's CONSTANTLY voicing her fears and insecurities with me that it gets a tad overbearing as i'm always the one to have to "assure" her that she has nothing to worry about. So i guess she has alot of trust in me. In other words she's always the pessimist and i'm always the optimist in our relationship.

Anytime I voice any concern or have a pessimistic tone in what im saying, which is rare, she'll go "see, your starting to sound like me" which pisses me off inside.

"She's CONSTANTLY voicing her fears and insecurities with me that it gets a tad overbearing as i'm always the one to have to "assure" her that she has nothing to worry about. So i guess she has alot of trust in me."

Yes, I would take it as she trusts you, but don't take it too far. There are many levels of fear, just as there are many levels of trust. More than likely, the fears she is voicing to you are fears, to some degree, but only her minor fears. I see two possiblities in the situation you detailed.

One, you could take her constant voicing of her fears as evidence that she has some underlying fears that she doesn't wish or hasn't yet voiced. She is more than likely blowing these fears out of proportion, either to herself or just to you, because she doesn't feel like she has an outlet for the true fear. These would be safer, more reasonable, more easily accepted and thus she focuses on them instead of what she is really feeling.

It can be like anger. When you are angry at something in a relationship and haven't voiced it, whether it is because you yourself do not realize it or because you merely do not voice it for some reason (lack of opportunity, think that it will not matter, have a underlying belief that your anger over it is unreasonable but are still angry about it, etc.), that anger can get vented into smaller things and you tend to blow little issues out of proportion. The same can be true with fear...

If it is a constant issue and the fears seem to be blown out of proportion for what they should be, then I believe that there is some other more important fear bothering her that is not getting resolved. She may be hoping subconsciously that you will notice this and pull it out of her...

Two, it could be your "optimistic" nature...

"In other words she's always the pessimist and i'm always the optimist in our relationship."

Perhaps my fire signs have more of an effect on me than I realize, but I am generally an optimist. I can seem at times like a pessimist, because I refuse to overlook the negative and limiting factors of things. But, that is merely because the only way to successfully achieve your desires is by confronting those issues head on and knocking them in the dirt, not pretending that they do not exist. Hope for the best, expect the worst. It is optimism. It is just not blind optimism...

That being said, in the company of an optimist, I find that it can be infectious (which I absolutely adore) but at times I can be a bit more practical as I feel someone needs to. In the presence of a pessimist, I find that too can be, unfortunately, infectious. I do not like to be in the long-term company of pessimists. It feels as if it ways me down and casts a shadow over my soul.

If her fears being voiced a minor fears but NOT being blown out of proportion, then she may just be trying to bring a dose of reality into the situation. You can limit this by showing her that you too have the ability to see the practical issues and are not ignoring them completely... It should limit her need to constantly voice them as some sort of reality check for the two of you.

"If her fears being voiced a minor fears but NOT being blown out of proportion, then she may just be trying to bring a dose of reality into the situation. You can limit this by showing her that you too have the ability to see the practical issues and are not ignoring them completely... It should limit her need to constantly voice them as some sort of reality check for the two of you."

You pretty much hit the nail on the head with this one. The day she voiced all her major fears about me going down there permenantly from the get go and let it all out she was surprised I did not get pissed off in any way shape or form. I simply told her what she was saying was quite logical and perhaps it will benefit us both in the long run (on the contrary unknowingly to her this was a burden lifted off my shoulders)

But your right about her bringing doses of reality into the situation. My downside is i'm a bit too much of a optimist and a dreamer, and I have a tendency to make people "believe". But she is someone who has known nothing but hurt and betrayal in her past relationships. To her this all seems too good to be true. She's the happiest she's ever been but she still has fears and a ton of insecurities.

I think her more realistic nature and my more unrealistic nature counteract eachother in a beneficial way. It's also what attracts us to one another and frustrates us all the same. But in the long run we compliment eachother in countless ways and that's why i'm optimistic this will work.

"But she is someone who has known nothing but hurt and betrayal in her past relationships. To her this all seems too good to be true. She's the happiest she's ever been but she still has fears and a ton of insecurities."

I am sure that once you two are together, her fears will begin to disseminate. The best way to overcome those issues is by having someone that can teach you that not all things are too good to be true, not all people are out to hurt you, and there is beauty in life. Once you get there together, you will find something far more beautiful than you have seen in her at this point...the light within her.

I wish you two the best!