My scorpio boyfriend and his battles? advice
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by DoThatSaggie on Monday, July 30, 2012 and has 27 replies.
Sorry somehow my post made duplicates and I don't know how to delete the others.
Any scorps males perspective on this is appreciated.
Any scorps males perspective on this is appreciated.
Posted by DoThatSaggie
If I knew years ago that he had so many gal friends I would have ran.
Well, that's a crock of shit.
You knew DURING your time with him, even him cheating .... and you did the opposite of running.
In fact, you gave him credibility in his disloyalty to you by means of believing he was deserving of being forgiven.
So, in reality .... you've had the opportunity from the first day you knew about his inappropriate relations with other women to step away from him, but, rather than doing that, you chose to permit yourself to be treated the way he is.
So, this boils down to you are being treated the way you deserve to be treated .... since you choose to stay KNOWING he is unfaithful to you.
Not only have you made the bed you are currently lying in .. you've neatly tucked it in and fluffed the pillow.
I am really looking for the perspective of scorp males only please on the issue.
Thank a lot
Thank a lot
If Dazed comes in here I think ima open the Skittles.
DTS, if your Scorp is still hanging around random women and is oblivious (or just doesn't care) to your distress then I think it's time you drop him! Have you told him how you feel?
He doesn't respect you. Not even remotely. But I get the feeling your okay with that.
Posted by LunarMaiden
DTS, if your Scorp is still hanging around random women and is oblivious (or just doesn't care) to your distress then I think it's time you drop him! Have you told him how you feel?
He knows but I don't think he really understands because he isn't bothered by the same stuff as me. He wouldn't get bent out of shape if I didn't what he does because he trust me and secure with himself, so he believes. Also you know you can't demand a scorp to stop doing anything, if they don't feel they doing anything and refuse to cater to what he sees as me being insecure when there is nothing to be insecure about. I don't think he gets it really, I don't want to seem jealous or even possessive because I'm far from that. He tries to reassure me by always letting everyone know I'm his girlfriend and checking in with me because of the situation.
It's a bit complicated because what I am explaining is a surface summary which makes him seem very bad but he is not. The good times far outweigh the bad with us, we rarely disagree except with this and I'm strong willed woman and pretty much things go my way most of the time and he's laid back and goes along with what I want except with this. He cares about what I want but hes a stubborn type and also wants me to trust him like I said I would if I'm going to stay with him. I can't say I'm gonna work it out and still hold it over his head every second. It was my decision to stay since we have invested a lot of time and we have a deep connection. We both have actually grown closer which I didn't think we could get any closer from working out the bad situation. He has many gal friends because that's just him, he attracts people and I understand this and it didn't bother me much untill I see some flirting or found a few with interest, I mean he feels he just don't stop being friends with them because they developed crushes, so its a weird thing to say the least that I can't figure out how I should handle it. I'm really looking for male scorp perspectives.
I do not condone cheating, but this really has nothing to do with him..and more about your own insecurities. You are looking for him to cheat again really. Perceiving threat where there may or not be one.
If you were 100% true with yourself random comments wouldn't affect you this much. Certainly not to the extent of anger. You cannot expect someone to act exactly the way you want them too. If his friends are indeed just his friends then why the worry? If he's a cheater, tell him to bounce. If you cannot live without him, then stand down on the matter. He isn't going to change. His very nature by your account screams shameless flirt. The comments and interest fan his ego as a male.
This is nothing you don't already know...
If you were 100% true with yourself random comments wouldn't affect you this much. Certainly not to the extent of anger. You cannot expect someone to act exactly the way you want them too. If his friends are indeed just his friends then why the worry? If he's a cheater, tell him to bounce. If you cannot live without him, then stand down on the matter. He isn't going to change. His very nature by your account screams shameless flirt. The comments and interest fan his ego as a male.
This is nothing you don't already know...
Hard to respond when shes only looking for Scorp males. I agree with Bull ad the Fish Sticks.
I found a very good article that was clearer to me I have shared it here for future reference for any who may like to read. Thanks everyone for the previous feedback.
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/boyfriend-flirts-women/
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/boyfriend-flirts-women/
I found a very good article that was clearer to me I have shared it here for future reference for any who may like to read. Thanks everyone for the previous feedback.
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/boyfriend-flirts-women/
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/boyfriend-flirts-women/
Self edifying would be even nicer of it came from a persons parents after you read one thing on the internet you read another which will you live your life by. Plus theres to much game playing alot of people should read a book on how to be a manupulator so they know what to do when they meet another one.
" I have this constant circle of upset moments due to his friend girls and what I define as flirting or suggestive comments. I can't figure out what is it all about and why he just won't stop allowing them to do it knowing it pisses me off. "
Ahhh you've allowed him to have his "aphrodisiac" CONTROL, yeah he's loving all the control he has over you and your happiness. You fell right into that one.
"If I knew years ago that he had so many gal friends I would have ran. It's so annoying having to basically monitor why is his online gal friends thinking this is ok and he feels no need to correct all of them them or place direct boundaries. '
You seem completely miserable, but this isn't his fault, this is your fault, instead of leaving you stayed and you staying is ENABLING this to go on, you didn't set a boundary and thus he's ran all over you, this can happen with any man, this isn't really a Scorpio thing.
You are attempting to control him, control who he's friends with, control how he talks to his friends and a man will immediately BUCK back, he'll fight you, he'll attempt to control you by forcing you to lose your life to babysitting him and his life, he's controlling you and you're allowing him to do it when you accept bad treatment and opt to control and manage and monitor his behavior rather than leaving.
"He has admitted cheating before on me and I forgiven and moving on the best I can. "
Once a cheater always a cheater, he's emotionally and mentally cheating on you NOW, nothings changed and sadly you are attempting to manage his cheating rather than LEAVING so you're essentially allowing him to cheat by staying and that's really why it hasn't stopped, HE KNOW YOU WON'T LEAVE so he continues to cheat. This is your fault not his.
"I do want him to stop putting himself in potential situations that can lead to other things with women. "
You're fighting a losing battle because it's not what he wants, as long as it feels good to him this behavior will continue, you have no choice but to leave because you can't manage an adult, he won't let you manage/control him.
Ahhh you've allowed him to have his "aphrodisiac" CONTROL, yeah he's loving all the control he has over you and your happiness. You fell right into that one.
"If I knew years ago that he had so many gal friends I would have ran. It's so annoying having to basically monitor why is his online gal friends thinking this is ok and he feels no need to correct all of them them or place direct boundaries. '
You seem completely miserable, but this isn't his fault, this is your fault, instead of leaving you stayed and you staying is ENABLING this to go on, you didn't set a boundary and thus he's ran all over you, this can happen with any man, this isn't really a Scorpio thing.
You are attempting to control him, control who he's friends with, control how he talks to his friends and a man will immediately BUCK back, he'll fight you, he'll attempt to control you by forcing you to lose your life to babysitting him and his life, he's controlling you and you're allowing him to do it when you accept bad treatment and opt to control and manage and monitor his behavior rather than leaving.
"He has admitted cheating before on me and I forgiven and moving on the best I can. "
Once a cheater always a cheater, he's emotionally and mentally cheating on you NOW, nothings changed and sadly you are attempting to manage his cheating rather than LEAVING so you're essentially allowing him to cheat by staying and that's really why it hasn't stopped, HE KNOW YOU WON'T LEAVE so he continues to cheat. This is your fault not his.
"I do want him to stop putting himself in potential situations that can lead to other things with women. "
You're fighting a losing battle because it's not what he wants, as long as it feels good to him this behavior will continue, you have no choice but to leave because you can't manage an adult, he won't let you manage/control him.
"He's had plenty of girl before me but I'm the first he has ever been really really serious with and I think this is one element to this issue. '
WAKE UP! He's not serious with you, you're serious with him and this is why it's not working, he's still cheating because he doesn't care about you and your feelings, if he did the behavior would have stopped immediately. Since there is no threat of losing you he's going to continue bucking back at you by including more and more women in his inner circle.
"I understand the cheating had nothing to do with me as his girlfriend and about him and his own battles and he since found a spiritual understanding regarding the situation and has decided under his own law he doesn't need to act out in pursue in sex with others. This aspect makes it just difficult to not just brush it off since I want the repeat prevented."
LOL@Spiritual understanding, not on your life, he understands nothing, wake up...
"To be fair here, he has addressed some but not all. He d Any Scorpio males out there can shed light as to how to handle him at this stage? Of course people say what they want and he's an adult and I can't demand how he should talk but there are unsaid rules for respecting a relationship. I don't get what he don't understand as to why I don't appreciate the women."
@Fair, Fair at what allowing him to cheat? He's just a cheater and you are in denial, instead of leaving you're sitting around being his babysitter and your life must be in shambles, you have no time for yourself, you're constantly thinking about him, following him online, HIM HIM HIM, you're ENABLING his Narcissism/Narcissistic behavior, he's getting so many REWARDS for behaving the way he is, he's getting your love, your complete attention, he loves it so there really is no real reason to change, if he changes he LOSES so yeah the incentive to change is LOSS, he doesn't wanna lose, nobody really wants to lose.
If you don't appreciate his behavior then leave, stop whining about why he's doing it, stop being controlling, stop being a jerk like your his mother and you must manage every little affair he has going on, just get out and most likely he'll modify his own behavior just to have you back in his life again.
WAKE UP! He's not serious with you, you're serious with him and this is why it's not working, he's still cheating because he doesn't care about you and your feelings, if he did the behavior would have stopped immediately. Since there is no threat of losing you he's going to continue bucking back at you by including more and more women in his inner circle.
"I understand the cheating had nothing to do with me as his girlfriend and about him and his own battles and he since found a spiritual understanding regarding the situation and has decided under his own law he doesn't need to act out in pursue in sex with others. This aspect makes it just difficult to not just brush it off since I want the repeat prevented."
LOL@Spiritual understanding, not on your life, he understands nothing, wake up...
"To be fair here, he has addressed some but not all. He d Any Scorpio males out there can shed light as to how to handle him at this stage? Of course people say what they want and he's an adult and I can't demand how he should talk but there are unsaid rules for respecting a relationship. I don't get what he don't understand as to why I don't appreciate the women."
@Fair, Fair at what allowing him to cheat? He's just a cheater and you are in denial, instead of leaving you're sitting around being his babysitter and your life must be in shambles, you have no time for yourself, you're constantly thinking about him, following him online, HIM HIM HIM, you're ENABLING his Narcissism/Narcissistic behavior, he's getting so many REWARDS for behaving the way he is, he's getting your love, your complete attention, he loves it so there really is no real reason to change, if he changes he LOSES so yeah the incentive to change is LOSS, he doesn't wanna lose, nobody really wants to lose.
If you don't appreciate his behavior then leave, stop whining about why he's doing it, stop being controlling, stop being a jerk like your his mother and you must manage every little affair he has going on, just get out and most likely he'll modify his own behavior just to have you back in his life again.
lol
I believe that a man will come to loathe a woman who doesnt stand up for herself and allows him to cheat, abuse or otherwise hurt her.
After all, if she doesnt love herself,why should he?
After all, if she doesnt love herself,why should he?
Posted by P-AngelPosted by DoThatSaggie
If I knew years ago that he had so many gal friends I would have ran.
Well, that's a crock of shit.
You knew DURING your time with him, even him cheating .... and you did the opposite of running.
In fact, you gave him credibility in his disloyalty to you by means of believing he was deserving of being forgiven.
So, in reality .... you've had the opportunity from the first day you knew about his inappropriate relations with other women to step away from him, but, rather than doing that, you chose to permit yourself to be treated the way he is.
So, this boils down to you are being treated the way you deserve to be treated .... since you choose to stay KNOWING he is unfaithful to you.
Not only have you made the bed you are currently lying in .. you've neatly tucked it in and fluffed the pillow.click to expand
PA, I was going to totally quote the same line you did. I even highlighted it, then saw you did and replied exactly as I would have. Accept I would have added: "If I knew years ago that he had so many gal friends I would have ran." You can still run--even walk away slowly. There is nothing preventing that if you're not happy with what he's doing....just sayin'. Sort of speaks to what PA is saying: "you are being treated the way you deserve to be treated"
Posted by JynjaPosted by DoThatSaggie
I am really looking for the perspective of scorp males only please on the issue.
Thank a lot
DTS, if you reeeeeeeeeally wanted Scorpio male perspectives, you'd have typed your query with as few typos as possible, a couple of paragraphs, good grammar and perhaps better organized ideas.
I find P's advice (usually) rather priceless and served as it should. All the other ladies offered their help, too. Some of these might even rate 10 times better than the Scorpio male perspectives you're dreaming about. It would be a wonder if you got a Scorpio female perspective, in my estimation.
There you have it. Hope it helps .
Posted by DazedScorp
1. A wall o Text on the Scorp board?! Reall?!?!?!
2. Do you really expect a male scrop to read all of that with no breaks?
3. All I had to see was Scorp is cheating...
Don't be a dumbass. Break up with him.click to expand
Cool Man Dazed to the rescue
Posted by DoThatSaggie
I found a very good article that was clearer to me I have shared it here for future reference for any who may like to read. Thanks everyone for the previous feedback.
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/boyfriend-flirts-women/
I think you're just avoiding reality. and it is rude to brush off so many comments on a public forum.
but you got your response, from a very sound scorpio man, but you'll still refuse it. why choose ignorance?
you show others how to treat you. and your insecurities and unhappiness will consume the relationship.
ultimately, it won't go too far; hopefully it'll end soon for your sake.
good luck
Posted by BigGirlPanties
I believe that a man will come to loathe a woman who doesnt stand up for herself and allows him to cheat, abuse or otherwise hurt her.
After all, if she doesnt love herself,why should he?
+1
Posted by IntriguedScorp
I knew this thread was going to derail...
I don't think it has derailed just yet....give it time though. Sag hasn't read the post yet (in 5,4,3,2....)
Posted by DazedScorpPosted by ArticleL
If Dazed comes in here I think ima open the Skittles.
.....
#justsayinclick to expand
-Opens up the Skittles-
my spider senses are telling me she'll be listening to what she wants to hear only
Posted by CreepyPants
my spider senses are telling me she'll be listening to what she wants to hear only
Im dropping this quote everywhere. -.-
< width="480" height="360" ="http:
Posted by IntriguedScorp
The problem with this Scorp and this Sag is that this Sag sees herself as the Scorps GF. When in reality she is a part of his harem of women. I would be willing to bet there are a few other of these women Scorp is "cheating" with that feel the same way as this Sag.
Now, is it cheating if the person you are cheating on is perfectly aware of what is happening and condones through their behavior? Just wondering what it would be called.
Masochism
Posted by IntriguedScorp
You just wanted to use that emoticon again!
But yeah, it feels like that...
Haha! You called it! Bad Phoenix
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