My Scorpio man won't forget the past

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by imandrea on Tuesday, July 2, 2019 and has 10 replies.
Guys, thanks in advance for reading this.

It all started off as a friendship. At the time I was in a long-term open relationship which felt like it will be over soon. He was my first love and it should have ended way earlier, but I just couldn't. Then this Scorpio guy came in my life and he was the sweetest thing. I managed to get out of the other relationship, I felt so free but I needed time to get over it. I think that's normal (I'm a Virgo btw). But the Scorpio guy was already all over me, he had already developed feelings while I was unsure of starting another relationship just then. I tried to explain to him to take it easy, let's date and see where it goes, but I can't get attached to anyone this soon. There were other guys that I met, but nothing ever happened between us. He started to be pushy, never gave me time and forbade to meet any other guy. He even moved to my place gradually to be sure that I won't meet anyone beside him. I accepted this and really liked him but I still couldn't give him 100% as he wished. I made a lot of compromises just to make him happy. I'm his first girlfriend ever, but as I had an open relationship I've been with other guys too. This is the subject that I should never have told him about. We've been together for over a year now and he keeps bringing up my past. Now I love him more than anything and I'm trying to make him forget the hard beginning of the relationship and my past, but he can't. He says he feels betrayed, that I'm already 'used' and he can't find his place next to me anymore. He behaves extremely controversial, at one moment he is talking about moving abroad together, the next day he says he wants to break up sometime and cannot see our future together.

Today we had a fallout, and I asked him what keeps him here if he can't get over the past and can't appreciate the present. He said he doesn't know either. Finally I told him it would be the best if he went home tonight and he is gone now.

I understand that he wants to punish me for not being able to offer everything from the beginning, and he suffered because of this, but the last two months were hell for me. He brings these things up without any specific reason and I feel overwhelmed every single time. I tried to be patient, even when he called me names I remained calm but I start feeling like I'm losing my mind.
Run! He is a very insecure, broken male. Insecure men are the worst! These types of males will RUIN your life and crush your spirit and joy. Why? Well, you'll be spending most of your days PROVING yourself. Nothing you say will ever be true or accurate or justified. Be very careful. It's a hard and challenging battle dealing with weak men. Wishing you the best.
Posted by mudra_

Seems like he got you right where he wanted you just to make you suffer for hurting him in the beginning lol. Nah, I dunno.

I haven't dealt with relationship stuff for a bit so it's easy for me to tell you things like "it isn't worth it" "leave him" etc

But do you like feeling this way? How does your body react to him walking into the room? Do you want to deal with someone who can't let go of the past and that haunts you with it always?
I hate this feeling, but when he walks into the room I just forget how terrible he can be. Sometimes he is so sweet that I can't resist. I was hoping that he will get over it in time. I told him to try couple therapy, but he is convinced that he isn't the one who needs the help of a psychologist. Welp, I'm getting there lol.
Why would you go to couple counselling, that is just for married couples in my opinion. If something isn't working, why try and force it. He sounds insecure and desperate for any relationship, but he doesn't know what a relationship is, you have a brain, and you use it to think about things such as whether you are ready or not, and he really doesn't like it, because he doesn't realise you are a human beings with thoughts and feelings. Just walk away.
It was not going to work right from the beginning. You knew you needed time on your own to recover from your previous relationship but somehow you both fell into a relationship. What you have is the product of something that should never have been. It's not making you happy or fulfilled. It doesn't sound like it is a good match. You need time on your own and he needs to sort his issues out. There is no happy ending here. Move on.
Bro, I am sorry. But as time goes they are going to realize that things that happened in the past is in the past.

It is not in the present moment. If he doesnt focus on what he have going on in the present moment it's his loss and digging his own grave.

You're going to have to smack the truth to his face that what you did in the past is before you even meet him. He better focus on what you both have right now.
Hes lying. You're not his first girlfriend.

Take him at his word.

You ain't good enough for him. Fine.

Believe him and break up 4 good.

You'll be out and about doing you and not being good enough 4 him.

Such a liar.
Why would you want to be with someone that didn't respect your wishes from the beginning? "I need time to regroup" turned into him moving his things in... he's a control freak.
Posted by bumboklatt

This is a scorpio thing. My moon is similar but he is insecure. But i see problems from both ends. You keep enabling him. If you draw a line make it final. You have control over your life. Or do you?

He sees the weakness in you too and he wants to validate his own weakness
"He *sees* the weakness in you *too*" Bingo!
Posted by Jules-ll

Why would you want to be with someone that didn't respect your wishes from the beginning? "I need time to regroup" turned into him moving his things in... he's a control freak.
"...from the BEGINNING?" Bingo!