Need insight...Married a scorpio

I have been married to a scorpio for almost 13 years and we have four children. I found this site and WANT to understand my husband better, just maybe I am missing something simple? Important? Anything? etc. Hopefully, we can stay together til the end but its getting harder and harder to imagine growing old with him. He really drives me. We own our own business and he is the driving force to the client and I am a behind the scenes make it happen on my end. That really works out perfectly because he gets to shine in front of people which I really believe he NEEDS and I am content raising the children and running things from behind. The problem is he seems to be constantly at battle with me. Like he is fighting a war and I am the enemy. He uses my vulnerbilities against me, and is nice to me when he needs something and cruel (I mean cruel otherwise) or he is silent and pretending things are okay only to hear from an outsider that we are having problems. He says he loves me but acts differently, WTF? Please help! Why does he do this...things could run so smoothly. I am constantly "starting over" with him after he has been so ugly. He keeps asking me to ask people if hes the one with the problem and I am like are you serious? Are we in 3rd grade? What is up with this scorpio?

I agree with ScorpiusIII, btw actions speak louder than words!

Hey there AA. I like the new pic 😉

The OP sounds very scattery. After 13 years she's STILL not getting it? He's running the show and she's allowing it. If she stood up to him when he "tests" her he's stop the shit.
Scorpios need partners that they can respect and that are strong. Strong enough to put them in their place when need be. Scorps push and push until they get their way. If nobody stops them they will run you over. We also use alot of empty threats to get our way. Never bow down to a Scorp when they are being a tyrant... it feeds the ego and makes us all the more power hungry.
Try communicating more with him, get him to open up. Just ask him what the deal is. If he doesn't want to open up then leave him be but DON'T let him expect you taking his BS. Sounds like he's gotten away with it for far too long.

Well... poor little female wouldn't be having any of his MANLY BS Scorpio or not. It's a 50/50 thing as far as I'm concerned. I'll not allow a man to run me into the ground while I sit around and simper and snivel wondering what *I've* done wrong because "the man runs the house" and I am to obey. HA! Please.
There is a huge difference between a healthy ego and an overblown ego. A Scorpio with an overblown ego are the worst. Just like any other sign.

There's nothing wrong with supporting you partner by encouraging them but I'll tell you that if that encouragment and support is taken for granted or used to "rub in my face" as she put it you better believe I'll let it be known that I deserve the same repsect as I give my partner.

If I'm "this crack" who doesn't believe in "obeying" a man because simply he has a penis then Damn Skippy.
Call me crack 🙂
I get the roles of male/female in the household thing. But hell will freeze over if I was to blindly obey "an order" my fiance gives simply because I was made for man? *snort*
Yeah right.

Well I guess it's an Irish thing (or a redhead thing) to be a bit of a defiant spitfire. I cook and clean for my guy without him asking but he knows if he demands I'll do the opposite. I'll not be told what to do. If he asks it's fine but demanding.... he knows better. It's not that I don't respect him as the man of the house or whatever but he's damn well better respect me for what I do too.
He's an Aries. Very manly man guy but he treats me with equality.... and even admires my fiestiness. 😛

LOL 😛

I suppose we are the same if we find the opposite sex to be slightly inferior to ourselves. 🙂

"doesn't he get pissed off with your feistyness combined with the scorpio take no shit attitude?"

LOL Oh yeah he gets pissed off at me. He calls it like he sees it just like any other Aries. If I'm wrong I'll fess up. But expecting me to obey just because he says? LOL If he were to try and confront me with that he's approach in a nut cup, helmet, and a weapon of sorts 😛 I am a bit more patient and TRY to understand where he is coming from because ... er I love him *blush*
But if he flipped his lid and threw a tantrum to scare me it wouldn't work and he knows it. Obeying isn't my forte.

gingerscorper did you post under a diff handle before?

Yeah Nov_scorp. Why?

"That's a fact. But if you were mine we might have a beat down session."

I wouldn't doubt that a bit.

That's the very reason I can't date Scorp guys. I won't back down and neither will they.
I went out with a Scorpio guy on one date. He got cocky/arrogant over dinner. This is when I informed him that after 2 real scorpions mate they do a "dance" lashing at each other with their tails. After mating the male makes a mad dash to get away from the female because if she catches him.... she eats him.

I never got a call back from him nor did I want to.
The next date would have probably been us trying to kill each other.

ScorpiusIII thanks for all the input. I am an Italian, Catholic, 1950's housewife. I cook, keep a very clean house (not overboard like nagging) he and the kids will make the biggest messes making muffins, popcorn etc. and I clean it up with a smile because of the experience it provided for the kids being with their dad in the kitchen. I do believe it is my job to do so. And sex...I can literally count on one hand the times I have said No to sex or any of his sexual request. In the beginning I was so confused on his moods and him NEVER being wrong that I reinvented myself to suit him and lost myself along the way.

Then...da da daaaaa...Hurricane Katrina hit and we lost everything. I was forced to remembered the strong person that I once was just to make it through and I called him on all of his bull. I refused to take it anymore. After all of that I was just like...I've done everything you ask of me. I have reinvented myself to suit your needs and lost myself along the way...I'm done.

I don't want to "divorce him and get half already". I don't feel like "I deserve better" its more like I deserve to be treated like an adult instead of a child. He treats me and others like we are inferior intellectually and talks down to us. (including my parents which let me tell you how fun it is defending him to them after all he IS the father of my children)

No our make up sessions are nothing like you described. Its more like...I am in shock that we are fighting over "this" whatever this may be at the time, can't believe he is so ugly to someone he "loves" and is suppose to be partners with...I shut down and refuse to fight, he sulks, kisses my ass for about a week (which I know is just a manipulative ploy because if I give in it goes back to the SOS and very quickly) all the while I am thinking what a di*k--had you just given a 1/4 of this before the power trip all would be cool, I con't living unbothered by his BS and we just ease back into our daily routine in about a week or two.

Out of the choices you gave:
I refuse to fight with him. I don't like the drama. Too many little witnesses. By the way he can go full blown fight trying to engage me right in front of the kids which I think is F'd up.

2nd option:
I do the whole 1950's thing but that only goes one way with him (ie) Money gets tight and he starts to pull the whole you need a job thing (like taking care of a family of 6 isn't a full time job. My response?

Do like the Dad's did in the 1950's...get a second job. They didn't want their wives to work. You are the man...handle it. Can't have it both ways.

3rd option
I want to avoid this. Kids too small.

My Plan:

Build him a house on our large lot put a pool inbetween us and its a win win.
1. He is the sole master and the war he is fighting with me ends.
2. Kids still have mom and dad "together"
This of course is years off after little one is at least 18.

Starfish He is a live one...too much ego. I had too reinvent to survive...I couldn't fight him, run a business, and take care of the kids all at the same time (by the way our first child has a genetic disorder so in the beginning it a lot of special needs things not so much anymore although there are challenges). There wasn't enough time in the day. I didn't start out being a push over and I didn't stay that way.

"Unless something tramatic happens that makes him do a 180 degree turn"
If losing your way of life, your house, business, etc. due to a hurricane wasn't enough for him to do a 180 and join "forces" he never will.

And honestly...I am cool with that. I have enough going on in my life to keep me busy and satisfied. I can give him his basic needs food, clean house, sex but I am just disconnected from his BS. I just thought if there was a way to make things better I would try it, but seems like no matter what he loves who he is so why change? Hes got it all.

gotta do some running...will catch up later on today.

Thanks for all the help.

Posted by ScorpiusIII
The lies behind a smile.

hahahaha!!

ScorpiusIII "the lies behind the smile" that statement cut through me like a knife. That is one of the most hurtful realities here.

snow_child Oh it is...wanna visit? Isn't it ashame. I want it to be a blast. Love it all except the games...wish it was fun. Thank God I can roll with the punches.

That is the best thing about my husband. We live in a nice home, we don't want for anything. I do consider myself lucky to be able to stay home with the kids, and that is worth all the bull. Just was looking to make it better between us. Want to love him so much don't want to fight.

I guarantee you if you show some backbone he cries like a girl you never thought he was

scorpion, hard shell, wet gooey mess inside

scorpio men in my rl exp are the biggest pussies on the planet when cornered

and once they and they and their peers are about 35

the fake alpha bullshit they hope to exude is finally seen as phony, they become alcoholics and lonely

their wives leave them, cest la vie

What an asshole. Slap the crap out of him and show him who's boss.

LOL

I am a scorpio and for the most part my kind embarasses the sh-t out of me. What an a $ $ Anyone want to bet her jerkoff husband has a Leo Moon? I dont think its necessarily a sun sign thing as far as domination.

It may be the environment you are raised in. My mom who's a Leo, and Dad a Pisces had a relationship of equals. My mom is the sweetest person you will ever meet. But she is also a tough, take no BS cookie too. My dad respected my mom but he didnt let her walk all over him either. Its a very equal relationship.

Im not into being bossy or telling a woman to cook or clean for me. I'm a grown adult and I can do that myself. I want an equal relationship. But I'm not a doormat either.

I sometimes wonder if women are more subconciously attracted to a hard core bossy alpha male then an easygoing but, wont take shit from them one.

My friend whos a Sagittarius is like me, easygoing but doesnt put with any crap dated an aries girl. She ended up breaking up with him. Then she dated this scorpio dipshit who was controlling and bossed her around. What I heard is they lasted 3 years which is longer than with my sag friend. It ended when she caught him "pussy-handed" so to speak.

I mean if I have to act like a drill sargent to a girl 24/7 just to keep her attracted to me, sign me up for the monastery.