need my scorp decoder ring *#$&#*&$*#*!!!

reader's digest (5 week breakdown) *note that this is long distance*:
~ meet & greet & play
~ 2 weeks of whirlwind texting & great synergy
~ FIGHT! miscommunication over the word 'fuckit' - i meant the convo, he thought i meant the relationship... STING! then 1 week of retreat
~ 1 week of reconciliation and easing back into things with plans for a visit. things fall apart and he can't find a last minute petsitter before driving 5 hours to come see me 😢 FIGHT! because we're both sensitive, strong, insecure, horny, pissy, stubborn...not mad at one another, just the situation, but still ends up in a fight.
~ 1 week of reconciliation and easing back into things with another plan for a visit. this time from me flying in to see him after getting back from a work trip.

7/19 - scorpy flirty dirty texty...talking about my visit 7/21. our convo goes to some of my trigger zones, but i allow it as i appreciate him trying to take me to places i'm not familiar with and opening my eyes to a different perspective. asks for a dirty pic, i say no, you'll have the real thing sunday. FLIPTHESWITCH!! him: excuses, excuses...that's all you have for me. don't even bother coming if that's the way you're going to be. convo goes south from there...and he repeats the not coming subject a couple of times as i'm not being OPEN enough for him.

me: i wish you didn't feel that way
me: i don't want to cancel the trip... (i cashed in 35K miles & spent $ 60 for the ticket)
him: silence for about 10 minutes with read receipts
him: i'm going to sleep. do whatever you wanna do. i just know that the guarded and scared of any and everything person that you are isn't gonna work with me bc i'm the opposite. (this is at 12:21am)

24hrs later....

7.20 (12:28am) him: good talk today ms guarded
7.20 (10:16am) him: so are you flying in tomorrow or not?
7.20 (2:10pm) him: i'll take that as a no
7:20 (3:48pm) me: no, as you made that decision for us abundantly clear Friday
7:20 (3:49pm) him: ok

now it's 7.21 and i'm supposed to be in his arms and instead, i'm stung and don't know which way to turn. le fucking sigh... him: scorp sun, gem moon, sag venus, leo mars me: gem sun, aqua moon, taurus venus, cancer mars

He's acting like a child that wants to get his way, when he want it. He using the "coldness", silence and empty threat of suggesting that you not come as a way to manipulate you. *sigh*

If he asks you to do something you don't feel comfortable doing, say "no" and why not-- don't play coy. Based on what you wrote, I am going to assume you also "flipped the switch" by playing along, but then hit the brakes, hence his reaction (although over the top). Also, when he pulls that crap again, say: the manipulations isn't gonna work on me. I don't feel comfortable doing *fill in blank*, so it's not gonna happen. If he sulks, let him sulk until he's ready to get his head out of his ass. It's the only way he'll learn to act properly.

Is your "relationship" based on more than sexting? If not, that may be a problem.

Sorry, all that fighting in only 5 weeks?.....

of course this is all during merc rx (which was probably the worst i've had in years...) so that didn't help on the communication level.

@elly: he absolutely enjoys it! he likes to be in control and so do i, so there's a bit of a struggle. for the first 2 weeks he didn't show that side to me. all he showed me was smitten kitten, it's when we first had the fight when things flipped and he went into ego/control mode and never really came out of it. texting is where wires get crossed...phone convos is where we can express ourselves without issue.

@phoenix: yep, he acts like a petulant child when he doesn't get what he wants and uses emotional blackmail and manipulation to get me to change. i set my boundaries and his response is: excuses, all you give me are excuses. it's annoying.

our relationship is definitely not all about sexting...i told him in the beginning that it made me feel out of my comfort zone to always try and take it there so he backed off. friday night though he went for the jugular. everything was sunshine and rainbows on the phone until i had to revert to text when the battery died. then it all went to smithereens. i don't know if i'll hear from him again but i can't be the one to reach out. he put us here...don't tell me you don't want me to come 3 times and then expect that i will.

oh! sounds like we fought a lot...they were literally text misunderstandings that he took one way when it was meant another. all were taken care of once we spoke rather than via text. just two people not ready to let go (even though he insists he's open!) getting to know one another...

@irresistable: because he told me 3 times not to come? i felt completely rejected. don't come if you're going to do this...don't come if you're gonna not do this...come if you want but it's not gonna work?

he's either testing me to see if i'll fight back and say no, i'm not taking that as an answer or he's really just not that into me. this is where i'm having problems reading 'between the lines'.

Posted by wineauxisback
@irresistable: because he told me 3 times not to come? i felt completely rejected. don't come if you're going to do this...don't come if you're gonna not do this...come if you want but it's not gonna work?

he's either testing me to see if i'll fight back and say no, i'm not taking that as an answer or he's really just not that into me. this is where i'm having problems reading 'between the lines'.

I wouldn't go either, but that's me speaking as a Scorp (stubbornly trying to prove a point). However, I'd still want you to come. It's a twisted game.

I am not saying you should have gone, just saying that whole convo was manipulative BS. He needs to grow up.

If he does break the silence that is your opportunity to set things straight and let him know you didn't like that he shut down because he didn't get his way. You wanted to see him, was fully intending to do so and his behaviour just ruined what would have been an amazing trip. The trip was suppose to take us a step closer, and you're BS (use kinder words--I'm fresh out right now) just set us two steps back. Where do you want this to go, because I'd like us to go forward.

if he would have said 'i want you to come' or 'i want you here' or anything alluding to that i would have been on the next flight. 'ok' doesn't speak to me 😢 it's taking everything out of me not to text him but i know it will be a pissing match of both of us blaming the other for not being there.

whoa....update & guidance requested pwease!!

please note: last night's shitshow was sponsored by ritalin & wine (lots and lots of wine....)

drunky mcdrunkerson decided to text le scorp and say 'i should be there right now with you...' in reference to the fact that i would have been there had i not cancelled the trip

he responds with it was my choice not to come, i respond with you told me not to, he responds with no i didn't...things escalate pretty bad. the rest is fuzzy. the conversation ended with him telling me to erase him/delete him from my life/never to contact him again and then called me a PSYCHO CUNT.

i wake up to a text from him, AFTER i deleted him as requested, telling me that my behavior was absolutely ridiculous. really? you told me to delete you. you called me PSYCHO. just got another text from him...'guess i was correct in the fact that you felt like a fucking retard today.' REALLY? wtff!!!!!

Posted by wineauxisback
whoa....update & guidance requested pwease!!

please note: last night's shitshow was sponsored by ritalin & wine (lots and lots of wine....)

drunky mcdrunkerson decided to text le scorp and say 'i should be there right now with you...' in reference to the fact that i would have been there had i not cancelled the trip

he responds with it was my choice not to come, i respond with you told me not to, he responds with no i didn't...things escalate pretty bad. the rest is fuzzy. the conversation ended with him telling me to erase him/delete him from my life/never to contact him again and then called me a PSYCHO CUNT.

i wake up to a text from him, AFTER i deleted him as requested, telling me that my behavior was absolutely ridiculous. really? you told me to delete you. you called me PSYCHO. just got another text from him...'guess i was correct in the fact that you felt like a fucking retard today.' REALLY? wtff!!!!!

You haven't actually asked a question. What do you need "guidance" on exactly?

should i even respond? this kid is KILLING me. tells me one thing than does another. don't come - that's not what i meant. delete me; you're a psycho CUNexTuesday - then continue to text me. like he's either secretly in love with my inner crazy or he's looking for a fight so he can continue to humiliate me.

well, his dick is small (ain't lyin')...maybe i should toss that in there for shits & gigs

Posted by wineauxisback
should i even respond? this kid is KILLING me. tells me one thing than does another. don't come - that's not what i meant. delete me; you're a psycho CUNexTuesday - then continue to text me. like he's either secretly in love with my inner crazy or he's looking for a fight so he can continue to humiliate me.

Okay. No you should not respond.

You seem to like this drama, which I honestly don't understand. You had my response from the first go round, but you decided to ignore it and drunk text him instead--this is the outcome. The Scorp is spinning you around because you played into his hands. All that BS about "it was your choice" was his twisted way of pushing your buttons and guess what, it worked. The text he sent the next day was because you didn't cry, beg and plead for him to "stay" when he called it quite (more controlling manipulative BS). You actually gathered some self-respect and hit "delete". Now the baby is whining about it (aka disrespectful text).

The man is immature. Next.
The man is controlling. Next.
The man has called you out of your name and then continues to disrespect you. NEXT!

Look I'm not one for games. I lack the patience for it, so I can't help beyond this if that is what you enjoy doing. Ask yourself this, why is it you would allow someone to call you a CUNT and not know how you should respond to that? That should be your focus, not this Scorp.

Posted by wineauxisback
well, his dick is small (ain't lyin')...maybe i should toss that in there for shits & gigs

It's petty. It wasn't an issue before this meltdown, now was it. So don't go there because you feel slighted.

Just stick with the plan. He had asked you to delete his number, heck delete him from your life... so just do it. He's baiting to see if he can get a reaction out of you, something similar to your drunk texting. Dont bite. Both of you might be controlling in your own little ways, but his manipulative ass would see to it that he wins everytime.

you are all right. thank you for your candor. i wish it didn't have to end like this but the rose colored glasses broke and shattered all over the floor.