Non-initiating Virgo..the saga continues

Hey all:

I'm back on the dxpnet. Just to follow-up, Scorpman & I had a baby girl (9 pounds) on July 1 -- Cancer female! To bring you up to date, yes, i have initiated sex since I last posted & yes, we've been going to counseling. It's been a LONG road and it ain't over yet, but things have gotten better & we're learning.

Here's the dilemma lately:
His x-scorpio woman has become extremely vocal lately about their daughter (16yrs. old). Scorpwoman ex has been continually calling leaving messages on our phone stating "we no longer have alone time for 16 year old due to "new baby"".

OK--here it is : I am a new mom, I am 35 yrs. old and scorpman and I have been together about 5 yrs., no major drama from his daughter the entire time. Now our baby is in the picture and scorpwoman has made comments to the 16 yr. old that quote "dad no longer cares for you, he's too busy" WHAT THE HELL? -- I am about to cut off our phone..too darn busy to deal with this S**T. Any thoughts?

"no major drama from his daughter the entire time. Now our baby is in the picture and scorpwoman has made comments to the 16 yr. old that quote "dad no longer cares for you, he's too busy"



Sixteen years a long time to become "tight" with any person, a parent/child bond even closer ... if another person has the power to put a wedge into it .. then perhaps this tightness needs to be re-evaluated.

The ex should be able to say whaterver she chooses ... the issue isn't that she's saying it .. the issue is that it's even a concern, for it suggests that father and daughter aren't close enough to make thier own terms of the relationship.

Actually the scorpio woman is pretty much jealous of So plus her new kid and has it in for you. The scorpio woman is taking out her pent up rage by manipulating the 16 year old daughter. The continuous calling is the obsessive side of her personality. You 2, So and your scorpio buck is probably all she thinks about. Your scorpio buck has to have a talk with her. Tell her to cry you a river, build a bridge, and hope it fucking breaks when she gets over it.

I read your responses, all of which are interesting. This past weekend there were 3 messages on his cell phone from the Xgf, she said "Our daughter has a school dance coming up, you gotta pay for new dress/shoes". My scorpman calls her back and says "that's exactly what child support money is for, so that our daughter gets what she needs -- you apprently need to spend the money more wisely"
You all know as well as I do that Xscorpwoman wasn't going to leave it at that. She called his cell phone back 11 times & his response? He deleted every single message without even listening to them. Both scorps, both vengeful. Here I am the Virgo, saying: WHAT THE F**K?
Bottom line...Xscorpwoman is not "allowing" the 16 yr. old to see my scorpman -- xscorpwoman says "to see our daughter, u must deal with me, you will have to find time in your busy schedule to speak to me or we head back to court"

HUH?

U aren't kidding. Vengeful! I wonder who's worse? Xscorpwoman or my scorpman...I swear, I thought I saw killer instinct in his eyes last night. Duh? He's a scorp right? LOL. My attitude right now is this: just sleep w/ her and put us all out of our misery!

"My attitude right now is this: just sleep w/ her and put us all out of our misery!"

THAT would be a BIG mistake my dear...

Oh come on now, Virgo, you know thats not what you want. Just have patience (which I know is HARD AS HELL!) and you'll be able to make it through this. Just stay cool, take up all your time with your new baby, and talk to him about what you think he should do. Remember this, while he has a lot of hate for his Ex-Scorp, he has more love for you. Allow him to just sit and listen you to. Remember, Virgo you're wise! And you've got a lot more power than you think- you don't even need to be manipulative.. just convincing ;] it'll turn out alright.

I hear you about the sleeping together bit. I said this very thing to scorpman yesterday and he laughed & said "that wouldn't solve anything" so I said: "maybe/maybe not, but maybe it would relieve some of this bullsh*t" -- my past is exactly where it belongs, in the past. This of course made my scorpman look at me & say "huh? are you crazy?" Which is code for "don't you love me enough to be jealous?"


Some background : They broke up 15 years ago. They were never married, but had a daughter together. He and I have been together almost 5 yrs. & there's been some issues in the past with scorpwoman but nothing like since our daughter was born this year...

one word: jealousy. Find a way for her to get over it

ScorpioBehindYou:

Maybe I need to find a way for me to get over it. I'm letting this entire thing suck me into a what I can safely call a fight. I try to keep my "fights" professional (I'm a lawyer) but I feeling everything BUT professional right now. Know what I mean?

Starfish225:

All I can say about what you wrote is this: We can never control anyone else's actions, only how we react.

My scorpman has decided to ignore the calls, delete the calls, act as if she doesn't exist.

I, on the other hand, haven't been able to do that, therefore I'm venting on DxPnet instead of shutting off our phone for good and/or getting a TRO.

Well, whatever you do just make sure you want it that way.. once you make up your mind (YOU ALREADY KNOW) it'll work out perfectly. =D

You're so right. Boy, what was I thinking getting involved with a Scorpman that has an X-scorpwoman? Wow, i am a glutton for punishment!

Well, I'd love to know how things go, so if you wanna keep me updated feel free to message me! Best of luck =]

Yup scorp ex, definitely jealous and needs to move on. Uggghhh. That would drive me nuts. I have been through similar situation with my ex-libra hubby and his ex girlfriend when we had our daughter. Geeeze. It can be hell.

You're telling me! OUCH..I've been relatively calm but last night there was another message on our home phone saying "send me money, u have a 16 year old..or did u forget?"

I'm close to blowing my top. My Scorpman picked up the phone to do some serious yelling into the phone and I took it from him and slowly hung it up -- then I took the phone off the hook. I'm ready to cancel the landline..

Cancelled our home phone -- It was getting ridiculous, at least 2 calls a week. X-scorpwoman sent a note via mail to our house asking again for $ $ for upcoming dances for their daugther. I have a feeling this won't be over, even when their daughter is "of age" - it won't ever be over. Again I say -- What the hell was I thinking getting with a scorpman that had an x-scorpwoman and had a child 2gether? I wasn't thinking!

Everything that is a person is agravating at one point or another.

but twice a week with voicemail messages saying" u don't care about your daughter anymore" or "she won't be allowed to come see you if you don't speak to me personally" or "you'll have to deal with me forever you motherxxx"

that is more than annoying! That's just NUTS.