Not feeling like scorp is fully mine yet
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by happykitsune on Monday, December 9, 2013 and has 28 replies.
Hi all,
So I've been talking to a friend of mine and realized I don't fully feel like the scorpio is mine or that I am his. Not that I don't have him as a lover or a boyfriend, but that we are One (which is weird to say because we aren't married yet). But in the past I have delved so deep into my relationships that I nearly lost myself in the "oneness" of the relationship. So I guess this is a good thing. I told Scorp all this and he seemed to take it well, but something tells me he may have been thinking something else in the back of his mind.
How would you scorps feel if the person you wanted to marry told you they don't feel that they are fully yours? or that you are fully there?
I told him I will not feel that way until he makes his declaration and I am his wife. Guess this is what it feels like to guard your heart in a healthy way.
So I've been talking to a friend of mine and realized I don't fully feel like the scorpio is mine or that I am his. Not that I don't have him as a lover or a boyfriend, but that we are One (which is weird to say because we aren't married yet). But in the past I have delved so deep into my relationships that I nearly lost myself in the "oneness" of the relationship. So I guess this is a good thing. I told Scorp all this and he seemed to take it well, but something tells me he may have been thinking something else in the back of his mind.
How would you scorps feel if the person you wanted to marry told you they don't feel that they are fully yours? or that you are fully there?
I told him I will not feel that way until he makes his declaration and I am his wife. Guess this is what it feels like to guard your heart in a healthy way.
Posted by happykitsune
Hi all,
So I've been talking to a friend of mine and realized I don't fully feel like the scorpio is mine or that I am his. Not that I don't have him as a lover or a boyfriend, but that we are One (which is weird to say because we aren't married yet). But in the past I have delved so deep into my relationships that I nearly lost myself in the "oneness" of the relationship. So I guess this is a good thing. I told Scorp all this and he seemed to take it well, but something tells me he may have been thinking something else in the back of his mind.
How would you scorps feel if the person you wanted to marry told you they don't feel that they are fully yours? or that you are fully there?
I told him I will not feel that way until he makes his declaration and I am his wife. Guess this is what it feels like to guard your heart in a healthy way.
Happy, I forget, are you a Sagittarian?
I ask because I noticed you said "relationship"s"" plural.
I think this is the very reason why there is an air of doubt apparently on both of you about being
"His and Hers". Past relationships tend to psychologically meddle with the current.
just sayin'.
@Firebird
Yes I am a sag
I get what you are saying and in a sense I believe the past does play some part into this, but in this case it has been for the better. In the past I had similar feelings, but would ignore them and as a result I would get too deep and ultimately would be hurt far more than I should have. I've learned to be smart about it now. To not just let anyone have me, (mind, body and soul) fully and completely.
Tell me, would this make you upset as a scorpio if you did not feel like someone was completely yours? Or would you respect their desire to guard their heart until the words are spoken and you two are truly one?
Yes I am a sag
I get what you are saying and in a sense I believe the past does play some part into this, but in this case it has been for the better. In the past I had similar feelings, but would ignore them and as a result I would get too deep and ultimately would be hurt far more than I should have. I've learned to be smart about it now. To not just let anyone have me, (mind, body and soul) fully and completely.
Tell me, would this make you upset as a scorpio if you did not feel like someone was completely yours? Or would you respect their desire to guard their heart until the words are spoken and you two are truly one?
Posted by happykitsune
@Firebird
Yes I am a sag
I get what you are saying and in a sense I believe the past does play some part into this, but in this case it has been for the better. In the past I had similar feelings, but would ignore them and as a result I would get too deep and ultimately would be hurt far more than I should have. I've learned to be smart about it now. To not just let anyone have me, (mind, body and soul) fully and completely.
Tell me, would this make you upset as a scorpio if you did not feel like someone was completely yours? Or would you respect their desire to guard their heart until the words are spoken and you two are truly one?
To be "ONE" both have to feel the same oneness without the shadow of a distant friend in the background.
Scorpio can sense these things and it makes it difficult to "relax" fully in the relationship. You cannot fool a Scorpio man though he may let you think you're fooling him. It's a curse and not necessarily a pointed reason to break up and such. Which reminds me....
Listen to this tune and contemplate the awkwardness that comes with sleeping with any number of the lover's invisible lovers, along with that lover. Especially when you are the serious type.
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I'm trying to put my finger on what in your original post I find odd but I can't.
To say you are not yet one, well, I don't believe you can truly become one until you are married, and even then, it takes some years for that to happen. That's not an overnight thing.
But I do find it a bit odd that you don't feel like you belong to him or that he belongs to you. In what sense? Is there something he does that makes you feel that way? Or do you just not want to give yourself to him?
If you are engaged, I feel like that will be a problem, this holding back. I understand that you have been burned in the past, but if you are committed to him, those feelings/reservations should go away, no?
To say you are not yet one, well, I don't believe you can truly become one until you are married, and even then, it takes some years for that to happen. That's not an overnight thing.
But I do find it a bit odd that you don't feel like you belong to him or that he belongs to you. In what sense? Is there something he does that makes you feel that way? Or do you just not want to give yourself to him?
If you are engaged, I feel like that will be a problem, this holding back. I understand that you have been burned in the past, but if you are committed to him, those feelings/reservations should go away, no?
I think its jitters, it will past.
@FB Thanks for the advice and music. I shall listen to that later when I get a chance.
@Capgirl
I know it's hard to really explain. I do feel like I belong to him in the sense that he is committed to me as my boyfriend, but the thing you probably are sensing thats odd is the fact that we are not engaged. I forgot to mention this, but at the moment all I have is his word that he wants to get married and wants to know what ring I want. We live in two different countries (for the moment) and he has been waiting till he has the funds and till I am near him to propose.
When I talked to my friend we both agreed it was the fact that he hadn't proposed that made it feel "not final".
As far as being burned in the past those days are long gone and I trust him completely. He has never given me any reason not to trust him and spares no expense to show me he cares. At first I thought it might be a trust issue, but after talking it out I realized it was because he has not proposed yet and I cannot feel that it is all concrete until that has happened.
Lol sorry, that's a much better way of putting all of it and I hope that clarifies things.
@Capgirl
I know it's hard to really explain. I do feel like I belong to him in the sense that he is committed to me as my boyfriend, but the thing you probably are sensing thats odd is the fact that we are not engaged. I forgot to mention this, but at the moment all I have is his word that he wants to get married and wants to know what ring I want. We live in two different countries (for the moment) and he has been waiting till he has the funds and till I am near him to propose.
When I talked to my friend we both agreed it was the fact that he hadn't proposed that made it feel "not final".
As far as being burned in the past those days are long gone and I trust him completely. He has never given me any reason not to trust him and spares no expense to show me he cares. At first I thought it might be a trust issue, but after talking it out I realized it was because he has not proposed yet and I cannot feel that it is all concrete until that has happened.
Lol sorry, that's a much better way of putting all of it and I hope that clarifies things.
Posted by DMV
I think its jitters, it will past.
I think this is true as well. Even though I truly want this I still realize that this will be IT and in some ways that both scares an excites me. But the fact that he wants to take me on his travels helps make the jitters all worth it. Excited to have a forever travel and hiking buddy
Could it also be that you feel a bit out of control? Apart of what gives a moon scorpio security is being in control and being in the know.
Posted by happykitsune
But in the past I have delved so deep into my relationships that I nearly lost myself in the "oneness" of the relationship.
There may be a life lesson you're missing here....but anyway to address the OP
Posted by happykitsune
How would you scorps feel if the person you wanted to marry told you they don't feel that they are fully yours? or that you are fully there?
I told him I will not feel that way until he makes his declaration and I am his wife. Guess this is what it feels like to guard your heart in a healthy way.click to expand
We wouldn't be getting married if this were in question.
Your last statement sounds like an ultimatum. I'm not sure that will end well with your Scorp. Maybe.....
Who didn't see this coming?
You should have an extended engagement, IMO. Just to be sure.
You should have an extended engagement, IMO. Just to be sure.
Well, I thought that was what you were saying: that you are engaged yet you do not feel that you are "one" with him or belong to him or whatever.
I think that's not so important, honestly, and I am trying to think whether I feel "one" with my Scorp.
I really don't give it a lot of thought. But as I said, "oneness" takes time.
I do feel this feeling of belonging with him, absolutely. But to be fair, we do live together, and part of it is that he really does makes me feel like we belong together. I know that he is not going anywhere from the things he does and says. Like he refers to us (me, him, and my son) as "our family", and has been doing that for a few months. He also told me a while back, "I think I should talk to your son like my dad talked to me about this" (it was about going on amusement park rides, lol). And he said yesterday that he feels weird going places without me. And we do have a date set and all that, too.
Like anybody, I have had thoughts and/or doubts at times as to whether I was making the right decision. Especially when he first moved in here. Every time I have come up with a yes answer for various reasons.
I do think it would really hurt him if I said i didn't feel like I was really his, or vice versa. A few times i said, "Really" after he said he loved me and that hurt his feelings, even though it was like a playful thing from my perspective.
I think that's not so important, honestly, and I am trying to think whether I feel "one" with my Scorp.
I really don't give it a lot of thought. But as I said, "oneness" takes time.
I do feel this feeling of belonging with him, absolutely. But to be fair, we do live together, and part of it is that he really does makes me feel like we belong together. I know that he is not going anywhere from the things he does and says. Like he refers to us (me, him, and my son) as "our family", and has been doing that for a few months. He also told me a while back, "I think I should talk to your son like my dad talked to me about this" (it was about going on amusement park rides, lol). And he said yesterday that he feels weird going places without me. And we do have a date set and all that, too.
Like anybody, I have had thoughts and/or doubts at times as to whether I was making the right decision. Especially when he first moved in here. Every time I have come up with a yes answer for various reasons.
I do think it would really hurt him if I said i didn't feel like I was really his, or vice versa. A few times i said, "Really" after he said he loved me and that hurt his feelings, even though it was like a playful thing from my perspective.
Oneness...I gotta admit the day I met this crazy as scorp and years ltr I still feel like we belong together even we arent together.
just dont fall back Happy. Progession is the key.
just dont fall back Happy. Progession is the key.
Posted by Wynter
Who didn't see this coming?
You should have an extended engagement, IMO. Just to be sure.
I agree. As a venus in capricorn, I have to be making the right decision. I dont wanna look stupid in the end.
Posted by DMV
Could it also be that you feel a bit out of control? Apart of what gives a moon scorpio security is being in control and being in the know.
Might be. Though I have actually felt more in control of my life and my relationship with him than I have in a while. I think the fact that I will be moving soon probably is lending itself to feeling a bit out of control tho
Posted by Wynter
Who didn't see this coming?
You should have an extended engagement, IMO. Just to be sure.
Hey Wynter. As far as I'm aware we are waiting at least a year to get married because we will be living out of the country and traveling before things get to that point. Good advice for sure
Posted by DMV
Oneness...I gotta admit the day I met this crazy as scorp and years ltr I still feel like we belong together even we arent together.
just dont fall back Happy. Progession is the key.
Right, if theres one thing I'm good at it's sticking with it. I love him dearly and I want to get to the point where I do feel like he is my one and only love of my life. For now he is my one and only and if it is the right thing then it will go in that direction.
Posted by MellyMel909
Is this the Scorp you broke up with the Aries for?
I thought you were engaged to the Scorp? I thought you two were talking marriage, hence the breakup with Aries earlier..?
We are. Read my later post that explains why he has not given me a ring yet.
Posted by capgirl69
Well, I thought that was what you were saying: that you are engaged yet you do not feel that you are "one" with him or belong to him or whatever.
I think that's not so important, honestly, and I am trying to think whether I feel "one" with my Scorp.
I really don't give it a lot of thought. But as I said, "oneness" takes time.
I do feel this feeling of belonging with him, absolutely. But to be fair, we do live together, and part of it is that he really does makes me feel like we belong together. I know that he is not going anywhere from the things he does and says. Like he refers to us (me, him, and my son) as "our family", and has been doing that for a few months. He also told me a while back, "I think I should talk to your son like my dad talked to me about this" (it was about going on amusement park rides, lol). And he said yesterday that he feels weird going places without me. And we do have a date set and all that, too.
Like anybody, I have had thoughts and/or doubts at times as to whether I was making the right decision. Especially when he first moved in here. Every time I have come up with a yes answer for various reasons.
I do think it would really hurt him if I said i didn't feel like I was really his, or vice versa. A few times i said, "Really" after he said he loved me and that hurt his feelings, even though it was like a playful thing from my perspective.
Ah yes this is what I was getting at. I feel like I may have hurt him in some way when I first told him my thoughts. But after explaining it a little he seemed to be cool with it. My main concern is that he lives far away so I often am left to guessing with messages online, so it helps to get a good perspective from scorps and those who are dating them.
When we get on the same schedule there wont be as much confusion between us. It's tough being in a long distance relationship :/
I can imagine that is a tough situation. i don't think I could handle it myself. I hope you guys are together soon.
Posted by capgirl69
I can imagine that is a tough situation. i don't think I could handle it myself. I hope you guys are together soon.
Thanks, I am moving to his city in a month to teach and we plan on getting a place together in a year if all goes well (work and otherwise).
Being one with someone you love....lets see...
ok, this is coming from a Cancer/Scorpio connection, so hopefully it helps, despite the fact that you're not a Cancer so you feel/do things a little differently.
My take on it and a lot of Scorpios tend to feel the same, is that you don't need a date, a proposal, or marriage to decide that you're committed to each other when you love someone. Marriage, etc. is just a formality in a lot of ways, a public announcement of what you already have.
Loving someone on the level of being One, or you could call it unconditional love, is something that takes down the barriers. You love a person so much that you can live with the faults, that you don't need to change them, that you want to grow together and discover each others growing, that you want only happiness for that person, even if it means they find that happiness with someone else. I'm not saying that last part wouldn't hurt like mad, but that's how much freedom you give the person you love. It also involves complete honesty and trust. When you have it its the most beautiful thing in the world and not much compares to it except having children.
ok, this is coming from a Cancer/Scorpio connection, so hopefully it helps, despite the fact that you're not a Cancer so you feel/do things a little differently.
My take on it and a lot of Scorpios tend to feel the same, is that you don't need a date, a proposal, or marriage to decide that you're committed to each other when you love someone. Marriage, etc. is just a formality in a lot of ways, a public announcement of what you already have.
Loving someone on the level of being One, or you could call it unconditional love, is something that takes down the barriers. You love a person so much that you can live with the faults, that you don't need to change them, that you want to grow together and discover each others growing, that you want only happiness for that person, even if it means they find that happiness with someone else. I'm not saying that last part wouldn't hurt like mad, but that's how much freedom you give the person you love. It also involves complete honesty and trust. When you have it its the most beautiful thing in the world and not much compares to it except having children.
Posted by MoonArtist
that you want only happiness for that person, even if it means they find that happiness with someone else
Perhaps the most heartwrenching thing that could happen to a person other than the loss of a child.
I have to agree with MoonArtist & Impulsv
Posted by Impulsv
Moon artist that was beautifully said but the statement about not feeling like they are truly "mine" sounded like possessive love. So maybe it's good op that u don't feel that way because the truth is no one is ever yours. It's a bout sharing life's journey. N maybe that is why this feels different from the rest. a good thing I sense.
Mhm, I think this is a good thing to. A step in the right direction towards a true love and not just feeling obsessed in love. My last relationship taught me a lot about loving the right way, so even tho it did not work it's helped me a lot
Posted by FrostAndBite
I think its the suddenness of the reconnection combined with the distance and no physical ring and all the pesky over thinking that can stem from such things. Its a lot of change in a little time so you're emotions might have to go through a few loops to catch up to the rest of you.
A scorp man dedicated is a rock though. If he believes you're the one and he's not a fool, he can handle honest conversation. As long as its that, honest. I've said some things to my Scorp that has made other men and women jaws drop to the floor and been told I would leave him, he'd leave me or something along those lines. In the end he always reiterated that it was my willingness to lay myself bare and be totally honest that made him love and respect me all the more.
Wow, this is so dead on.
My scorpio is the type to appreciate openness. When we got back together the one thing we agreed on is that we would be open with each other. When we live closer and as we spend more time together I will start to feel closer and closer to him.
It's been feeling like it's progressing already...guess I just expected more since we'd known each other for over 2 years, but then again most of that was spent with someone else so it's just a matter of time passing together
Happy, IF he is truly serious about you, you "may" already be his rose in paradise.
Scorpio Man is deep and serious. Consider the elements Water and Fire: Still water runs the deepest.
Keep him calm, not giving reasons to stir him up into a storm and you'll be safe with him and
he will take you places no shallow-minded fire sign or any other sign can take you, for better or
worse, heaven or hell.
Key is respect, fidelity, patience, honesty, commitment, trust, communication, be "clean and sober", for starters.
Be mindful that his style of communication may be unorthodox, sometimes even silent. Especially when
he's silent, let him be, however long, especially when he requests it. No telling what's on his mind.
Be his greatest supporter and never play mind games with him, and he will want to take you far beyond the stars where the sunshine cannot reach.
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Scorpio Man is deep and serious. Consider the elements Water and Fire: Still water runs the deepest.
Keep him calm, not giving reasons to stir him up into a storm and you'll be safe with him and
he will take you places no shallow-minded fire sign or any other sign can take you, for better or
worse, heaven or hell.
Key is respect, fidelity, patience, honesty, commitment, trust, communication, be "clean and sober", for starters.
Be mindful that his style of communication may be unorthodox, sometimes even silent. Especially when
he's silent, let him be, however long, especially when he requests it. No telling what's on his mind.
Be his greatest supporter and never play mind games with him, and he will want to take you far beyond the stars where the sunshine cannot reach.
< width="420" height="315" ="
@ Firebird
Got a chance to listen to your song. Yay for old school. Can't say it really fit with how I felt tho.
Yeah I have thought of the ramifications for "stirring" things up. That's why I generally keep things light (I'm that way in general) and let him know when I am not okay with something. As long as I explain it in a logical manner, and I'm reasonable about it he responds very well. I've learned to hold my ground on matters and the results are amazing. Not only will he straighten up, but after it's like he can't get enough of me. Told him he is a glutton for punishment, but I guess some men just like to be told how it is. And I am not one for games. Thankfully neither is he.
Thank you for the advice. Always good to hear from an older male scorp
Got a chance to listen to your song. Yay for old school. Can't say it really fit with how I felt tho.
Yeah I have thought of the ramifications for "stirring" things up. That's why I generally keep things light (I'm that way in general) and let him know when I am not okay with something. As long as I explain it in a logical manner, and I'm reasonable about it he responds very well. I've learned to hold my ground on matters and the results are amazing. Not only will he straighten up, but after it's like he can't get enough of me. Told him he is a glutton for punishment, but I guess some men just like to be told how it is. And I am not one for games. Thankfully neither is he.
Thank you for the advice. Always good to hear from an older male scorp
Posted by happykitsune
@ Firebird
Got a chance to listen to your song. Yay for old school. Can't say it really fit with how I felt tho.
Yeah I have thought of the ramifications for "stirring" things up. That's why I generally keep things light (I'm that way in general) and let him know when I am not okay with something. As long as I explain it in a logical manner, and I'm reasonable about it he responds very well. I've learned to hold my ground on matters and the results are amazing. Not only will he straighten up, but after it's like he can't get enough of me. Told him he is a glutton for punishment, but I guess some men just like to be told how it is. And I am not one for games. Thankfully neither is he.
Thank you for the advice. Always good to hear from an older male scorp
When we were young, she and I were the wild ones.
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Guess I'm just burnin' dreams and burnin' memories.
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