Oh scorpios, why is it so hard for you to commit?

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by happykitsune on Saturday, February 26, 2011 and has 43 replies.
Just curious...what is so hard about wanting to commit?...why does it take so long?
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I've been in a relationships for six years now... I don't agree that's we have a problem commiting, it's more about who we commit to and what they have to offer.
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Being a scorp I know, I much prefer to be in a commited relationship. It may take a while, we know what we want and when we find it, you won't find anyone more commited and loyal to one....a relationship
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Yeah I was gonna say.. this doesn't make sense for scorpio. We're usually TOO fast. Scare people away fast, even. Now, EMOTIONALLY is entirely different. That can take years. But committment? I've done.. hey, who are you, you're coming with me. That fast. Was with that guy for 6-8 months or so? Never did open up to him emotionally.
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Posted by Skykomish
Yeah I was gonna say.. this doesn't make sense for scorpio. We're usually TOO fast. Scare people away fast, even. Now, EMOTIONALLY is entirely different. That can take years. But committment? I've done.. hey, who are you, you're coming with me. That fast. Was with that guy for 6-8 months or so? Never did open up to him emotionally.


yes you're right. the scorpios i had a relationship with were pretty quick. emotionally it did take time.
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lol epithet. thats a quote..
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We don't give emotional away easily...only the true get to see that side of us..we determine who and when but once in our inner circle you will be filled with all the emotion we have to give and share....
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Ah ok, that makes more sense. My scorpio wants to be exclusive, but he's not ready to take it to full relationship status until he can get over the idea that it's an actual relationship. He wants to be emotional on board with it and says that in the past he didn't really date because he always wonders if he's missing out on something. But when he's away from me he says hes really happy, so he just want to take it slow and get into it whenever he feels right about it. I'm kinda wondering if the "wondering if theres something better" bit is due to the fact that he's very close to being a sagi, being right on the cusp.
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^^^ Thanks, me too. He's already talking about how he wants to get to the point where he loves me so it makes me very hopeful. Hopefully it flows smoothly from here
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Well, thus far I haven't pushed anything on him. The first day we hung out I kept refusing a kiss from him. I really didn't want him to be my first kiss at the college (I didn't even like him like that) But he ended up grabbing my hand and pulling me into him, stealing a kiss. I was a lil annoyed because I felt like I had given it away to someone I didn't like, but I guess it got him hooked and got me hooked.
Another thing is I told him I wanted to keep this a secret until it became official. He thought it was kinda strange, but now I find out he doesn't want to make it a big deal either. Idk if it's like that with all scorpios. He has a venus in cap and a mars in scorpio, as do I, so we mesh together very well on a loving and sex level. I think as long as their venus is compatible with yours all should be well. Hope this helps some smile
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Wow, that is quick o.o He did mention to me some stuff about the future and said if we had babies they'd be sexy because of our eyesLaughing
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lol aaannnd scorpio has you fooled too app. Yep, we talk like that, look way down the road. Doesn't mean we're emotionally open yet.
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Posted by Skykomish
lol aaannnd scorpio has you fooled too app. Yep, we talk like that, look way down the road. Doesn't mean we're emotionally open yet.


yup
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It sometimes seems as if the male scorp is more impulsive and quick to act on dealings with the heart..where female scorps are more guarded..and not so giving with their feeligs, emotions or their heart..Prove to us your worthy & then we may stop to ponder the idea. And it maybe where you don't have to prove nothing at all.....we just know! Our intuition is the best!
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Posted by SassyVirgo

I see. I never push anything from him either. Guess thats how the atraction stay there hehe. The about us is that we only email each other and never express our feelings directly. Since we live in differet cities. We only had 2 visits so far. But there's something I can't explain, when we are face to face, it feels like we are really close.
Something I'vr learnt since I met him are, gotta learn to read his eyes, action, body languge and not their words. Yea and learn to read between lines too. Lol and be prepare for him disappearing to test you / proceaa his own feelings. Still waiting here, hope he writes soon. Hehe


Yeah, for me and him when we are face to face I really feel close to him, but at the same time when I'm apart I still feel this sense of security like I'm the only one he's thinking about. Yes, reading his body language is key. I'm pretty good at reading between the lines of texts too. Like the other night when he said he was ok about me explaining one of my past abusive relationships, but I could tell he wasn't. His eyes give a lot away too. Haven't had him do the disappearing act on me...idk if he will or not. Really hope he doesn't.
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Posted by SassyVirgo
Posted by happykitsune
Very true.
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Lol yeah all highlighted. They do like honesty, but it wasn't right bringing up a past bf to him. He is my future now. No need to dwell on the past. I don't think anything is wrong with only communicating in 2 week gaps. At least for me it isn't. I like my space tho and people get busy.
Interesting visual on how to kill a scorpian. I wasn't aware of that. Makes sense tho..I don't think most guys these days, whether they be scorpio or not, like to be pressured. Heck I don't like to be pressured. The idea of being with only one person got to me as well when I started liking scorpio and cut off all the other guy friends...but I'm quick to clear my head and figure out which direction I really want to go and I chose the route of being with the scorpio, and only him.
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Posted by happykitsune
Lol yeah all highlighted. They do like honesty, but it wasn't right bringing up a past bf to him. He is my future now. No need to dwell on the past. I don't think anything is wrong with only communicating in 2 week gaps. At least for me it isn't. I like my space tho and people get busy.
Interesting visual on how to kill a scorpian. I wasn't aware of that. Makes sense tho..I don't think most guys these days, whether they be scorpio or not, like to be pressured. Heck I don't like to be pressured. The idea of being with only one person got to me as well when I started liking scorpio and cut off all the other guy friends...but I'm quick to clear my head and figure out which direction I really want to go and I chose the route of being with the scorpio, and only him.


Happy Kitsune, what sun/moon are you?
I have a similar problem , but I dont deal with it as well. To me, 2 week gaps is not ok. I need to be in touch with my Scorp, even if it is just a 10 minute phone call everyday during the drive home. More than anything, I like coming home to someone, even if I don;t actually have to talk to them...having someone around through thick and thin.
I find Scorps only like being around during the thick. THe thin is too "frivlous". Rather stupid if you ask me.
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Happy Kitsune, what sun/moon are you?
Sagi sun: So I'm ok with the space smile
Moon in Scorpio: I think this helps me to understand his dark moments a lil better. If I didn't have the scorpio moon to balance me out I think I'd be too sunny for him.
I have a similar problem , but I dont deal with it as well. To me, 2 week gaps is not ok. I need to be in touch with my Scorp, even if it is just a 10 minute phone call everyday during the drive home. More than anything, I like coming home to someone, even if I don;t actually have to talk to them...having someone around through thick and thin.
I find Scorps only like being around during the thick. THe thin is too "frivlous". Rather stupid if you ask me.
Simple, just tell him you'd like to hear from him more. Some are far too busy tho. I was literally chasing a scorpio, before this one, who was always busy with work and even when I said I wished he'd contact more or praised him when he did contact me he still wouldn't text me any more than I wanted him to. Really it was just a matter of if he liked me enough and if he even wanted to start something with me. I don't doubt he liked me, but the need to be with me just wasn't there.
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Posted by SassyVirgo

Yea with him I never volunteer any information unless he ask for it, since these fellas like mystery.
And yes they like to be the only man in your life, I never had that talk with him. Does he knows you cut off your guy friend for him? Or do you act aloof and leave him wondering if there are other competition for him before he suggest to be exclusive?


Yeah, I can be very aloof about certain things. There are still a few things he is still curious about regarding me and every so often he will find out something about me that makes his eyebrows raise with wonder. They do love that mystery :3
Well if you want to be exclusive with him may I would allude to it. I didn't have to have the talk as he was the one to make it clear he wanted to be exclusive. I actually had to tell him twice that I cut off the other guys. Apparently he was preoccupied or didn't get it the first time I told him because last night when I told him I was no longer flirting with any guys he smiled and was like "really?" Then he proceeded to tell me he gets very jealous and wants us to stay exclusive, even if we aren't in a serious relationship yet, which is what I like to hear. I hate the guys who are so fickle and just talk to other girls why they're courting you. I mean I talk to several guys usually, but when I really really like a guy I will cease talking to the others and put all my focus on one. I haven't done this in 3 years. This scorpio is very special to me and he knows it smile
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Posted by SassyVirgo
I guess we are taking a different approach, I act aloof when he takes long time to reply. I will then mirror the time he took. About other guys, he knows I always have people bothering me and he also knows I can be dangerous to those bothering me Winking I also let him know that I trust him a lot. When he heard that he squeeze me really tight and kiss me and said thanks. I've been in long distance relationship before but never realize how frustrating can it be..Scorp used to ask me how could you do that? How could you trust? How can you have a relationship with someone who you only met a few times? So when he came visit I was really surprise.. cos I thought he was against long distance relationship.. may be still is.. who knows ..
By the way he is aries moon, libra mercury, scorp venus and sagi mars. Not sure if that explain why it takes him long to enter a relationship?


Yeah it's a good idea to mirror him. I've found that if you don't quickly respond a lot of times they will respond faster. That's good that he knows others talk to you too. Guys are always aware that others talk to me. I think they know it is inevitable. That's why it's a good idea for me to tell him I am cutting them off. It helps with trust and to put him at ease.
Yeah I think scorpios have their own ideas of what they think they want to do, but when they actually get into the situation and the person they're with is someone they really like they set aside their ideas and try to compromise in hopes that things will work out. Besides I've heard that a lot of scorpios are ok with long distance relationships.
You'd have to look at the venus to really get an idea of how he likes to enter into relationships. http://astrology.about.com/od/venus/p/VenusScorpio.htm
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Posted by SassyVirgo

Thanks for the link, I just looked it up. It says he is confident. He has lots of contradicting dynamic in his personality. I can tell he is a very confident guy at work and other stuff. But with me he was very shy, I only got him to admit that after he was drunk. Last visit he didn't drink, not sure if he is trying to quit drinking to mirror me or what, but I had to read his action to know how he felt. I just hope it wasn't a one night stand thing. He knows I don't sleep around, and said if I was still there on Valentines Day he would reschedule all his meetings to spend time with me. The day after he took me to airport and when I got home he txt me again checking if I got home safe and telling it was very nice to see me again. The day after he said happy valentines day to me then poof!! disappeared.... I'm usually very patience with waiting for his email, but the sex messed this up >
Hmm, honestly I don't know if the sex messed it up. It seems like he really likes you, but is taking time to think everything over as I'm sure you have heard people tell you time and time again on here.
From my experience having sex too early with the scorpio before this one did mess up things. You need to take it slow with them and let things flow. Especially for me since I am a sagi and our paring doesn't work unless we take it slow and work through things because then things fizzle out fast. I'm just lucky this scorpio wants to take it slow and wait on sex until we're in love. Idk how the pairing of virgo and scorpio goes. I hear earth and water go very nicely together. It's just a lil more tricky for me because I am fire and he is water. A very weak combo, but we do have a lot of other placements that are the same which helps us work well together.
Is your venus a water or earth sign?
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Posted by SassyVirgo

Yea, I hope he didn't get burn in that ring of fire while processing what happened LOL I will give him more space, but will definitely send an email or txt in a week or so just to see if he is still alive, to show that I care without pressuring Tongue
My venus is Leo. Fire sign isn't meant to be compatible but the positive way to look at it is venus leo makes me very affectionate and loyal. Which compliments the Scorp.
I wouldn't worry about you are fire and he is water thing. Getting a Scorp to want you exclusively means you have won half the match already Winking


Yeah true, he should liek that your venus in leo makes you loyal. That's big with them smile
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Posted by SassyVirgo
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by SassyVirgo



Yeah true, he should liek that your venus in leo makes you loyal. That's big with them smile


Sounds positive, I just hope he wasn't just loving on that weekend and now like mmm no love for you!!!
Someone did say Scorpio man are choosy and no way they would spend that much time and did so much for someone they have no interest in.. *finger crossed*
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Good luck smile Hope all goes well and let us know
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From the Scorpios I have had experience with I would say they move fast and hard (and I don't just mean in the bedroom...lol). I have found that they want to commit right away and were super possessive. I have a Scorpio moon but I think it's balanced out by Aquarius venus so I don't get too committed right away.
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Posted by SassyVirgo
Guess what? He just replied! Less than 2 weeks Tongue He apologized for taking slow and telling me how he is going with work and such. I will just show him I care and won't bring up about next meeting since he is so busy with work. Hope I can see him soon!!


Thats great! smile
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Posted by Stpatrickspisces
From the Scorpios I have had experience with I would say they move fast and hard (and I don't just mean in the bedroom...lol). I have found that they want to commit right away and were super possessive. I have a Scorpio moon but I think it's balanced out by Aquarius venus so I don't get too committed right away.


Seems like a lot of people are saying they move fast. Maybe it's just slow for me because I'm able to process who a person is quite fast and I've never been wrong and decided, "oh nevermind, I don't like you" so it's a little hard waiting, but I know that it's worth the wait smile He likes to see me everyday so that's a good sign
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Posted by happykitsune
Just curious...what is so hard about wanting to commit?...why does it take so long?


My perspective as a Scorpio Moon - I was waiting for the right one to invest in. It takes time to get to know somebody and it has to feel right.
My Scorp man said to me that he had to know I was that person he could trust. I didn't force it; things happened naturally when he realized there was no way but forward since he really wanted a lasting relationship. The only thing I pushed him to do was be a better man when he was caught in a lie to himself and everyone else, and set a good example in my own way of living by being straight up but kind, which impressed him more than anything else. He liked having someone in his life he could admire, and yet be a pillar of strength in the relationship. As a Venus in Leo, I'm fine with that.
If you can keep a secret, you're in.
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I can't help but wonder if these scorpios who are quick to commit are closer to the libra side of the spectrum as libras tend to be very clingy. My scorpio is closer to a sagi...like ridiculously close, so I can see where he'd feel that need to run the other way, but at the same time he has yet to abandon me like most scorpios I've read about on here and our relationship has only grown stronger and closer with each day.
It could also be the signs that these scorpios are falling for. I could see where someone like a taurus could care less if a scorpio liked them and easily not return the same feelings, making the scorpio more clingy whereas someone like a gemini could come on too strong, too fast and scare a scorpio off.
Just a thought :3
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Posted by THEKingofLibra
Posted by happykitsune
I can't help but wonder if these scorpios who are quick to commit are closer to the libra side of the spectrum as libras tend to be very clingy.


Oh yeah, sure, take a dump on Libras to make a point Tongue
Wait did I get that right? We are clingy and Scorps are detached now?
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Thats just from my experience KOL, nothing against you. Like I stated, I think some signs cause other signs to be more so clingy because they don't fall as easily as another sign would for them and thus the clinginess is revealed. I'm not that attracted to libras so they tend to be more clingy around me
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Posted by SassyVirgo
Posted by happykitsune
I can't help but wonder if these scorpios who are quick to commit are closer to the libra side of the spectrum as libras tend to be very clingy. My scorpio is closer to a sagi...like ridiculously close, so I can see where he'd feel that need to run the other way, but at the same time he has yet to abandon me like most scorpios I've read about on here and our relationship has only grown stronger and closer with each day.
It could also be the signs that these scorpios are falling for. I could see where someone like a taurus could care less if a scorpio liked them and easily not return the same feelings, making the scorpio more clingy whereas someone like a gemini could come on too strong, too fast and scare a scorpio off.
Just a thought :3


Good point there, cos my Scorpio is very confident, however towards the girl he truly like, he gets very shy. On our first date, he had to drink to losing up and then admit he is attracted to me since he saw me. Then he admit to me the more he likes the girl the more shy he gets. Also, they can be burning inside and still looking ice cold on the surface.
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Makes me wonder if he has a moon in virgo cus I read somewhere that virgos are often shy with the person they like :o
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hahaha idk why but for some reason everytime you put the word "dump" I can't help but laughLaughing
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lol ew
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Posted by aPiscesPrincess
Scorps usually seem to be pretty quick to commit, emotionally too. The ones I've talked too started talking about wanting marriage and babies with me after knowing them for just a couple months lol.



I sorry to say this, no offense.....but I know a lot of scorpio guys that say things like this to get into girls pants. When their horny, anything goes....
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Posted by Skykomish
lol aaannnd scorpio has you fooled too app. Yep, we talk like that, look way down the road. Doesn't mean we're emotionally open yet.



Exactly, they know how t o brain-fuck as well
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Posted by PeriThePiscesKing
The men are desperate and the women too reserved...
Talk about polar extremes...
Neurotic as I said.


No, not reserved.....we're just not some gullible-ass flounders...nemo
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Posted by SassyVirgo
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by SassyVirgo
Posted by happykitsune

Makes me wonder if he has a moon in virgo cus I read somewhere that virgos are often shy with the person they like :o


Actually it's Aries moon LOL


I dated a guy with an aries in moon. It made him very sure of himself and actually kinda selfish. His rising was in virgo tho so to the public he was a nice guy. I still say there is some virgo in your man's chart somewhere if he's shy
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I dont think its easy for anyone to commit nowadays. And commitment does take time...especially if you have been hurt or betrayed a lot.
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Posted by happykitsune
Ah ok, that makes more sense. My scorpio wants to be exclusive, but he's not ready to take it to full relationship status until he can get over the idea that it's an actual relationship. He wants to be emotional on board with it and says that in the past he didn't really date because he always wonders if he's missing out on something. But when he's away from me he says hes really happy, so he just want to take it slow and get into it whenever he feels right about it. I'm kinda wondering if the "wondering if theres something better" bit is due to the fact that he's very close to being a sagi, being right on the cusp.


oh man this guy sounds like an absolute dick, seriously? And the pure desperation of you posting here thinking his aloofness and not wanting to commit is down to him being close to Sage? (I know it's just theory but still)
And i don't understand why a girl would date someone who is not totally into them? Looking for the better option as you put it
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ah, i could of misunderstood here but fuck it.
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Yeah you misunderstood a lil. It's ok tho. See he wants to get to that point and we've talked about being in a commited relationship. You have to understand we just got into this thing two weeks ago tho and are still trying to figure each other out. He scared me at first when he said he had to get over the idea that it would be an actual relationship, but since then we've progressed.
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Posted by happykitsune
He scared me at first when he said he had to get over the idea that it would be an actual relationship.


haha now THAT sounds like a Virgo Moon Tongue
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Posted by AA
Posted by happykitsune
He scared me at first when he said he had to get over the idea that it would be an actual relationship.


haha now THAT sounds like a Virgo Moon Tongue
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What? Him evaluating the idea of a relationship? He's studying philosophy so I guess all that gets to his head. Dang virgos always analyzing everything
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