Hi Scorps.....haven't been on the boards for quite a while now, but thought I'd drop by to ask if you all could help interpret something a scorp said to me....speaking of scores withholding emotions...lol
how would you interpret: "I love you in a special way"?
we have had an on again off again relationship for a very long time....nothing romantic between us in the past couple of years. We chat sometimes, until he shuts the conversation down, but lately some of the things he 's said are: we get along great, but what if it is not like that all the time?
You tell it like it is, that is why I like you.
In a round about way asked if I put up a front about him....I take this as do I truly love him?
It's always been that he can't commit, but never detaches from me completely.
I do love this man, and have been moving on with my life, but there will always be a special place in my heart for him.
We connect on so many levels and he admitted just recently that when we get too close he puts his walls back up.
Afraid of being hurt?
What?
He drives me absolutely nuts!
Thanks, I appreciate your insight, advice and wisdom : )
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Jul 20, 2015Comments: 11 · Posts: 858 · Topics: 34
he doesnt love you in the ordinary way, he loves you in a special way which means its special
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Jun 21, 2015Comments: 3 · Posts: 2104 · Topics: 89
This is difficult. It almost sounds like he is afraid you are putting up a front for him by the question he asked you, and he is afraid you won't get along so well when something bad arises (his comment about it not always getting along like you do now).
I would say something has to be there below the surface, because I normally don't ignore/cut people off unless the feelings are becoming too strong and I have to reign myself in along with decreasing the emotions.
It sounds more like he is afraid to give you a chance due to the potential thought that you may not get along all the time like you do now, and he doesn't want to sabotage that so he puts his feelings for you on the line and tries to get rid of them, but every time he comes back eventually so does his feelings, so the cycle repeats.
As for the "I love you in a special way", it sounds like he is trying to let you go slowly. But with the other information that doesn't make sense. Overall I think the feelings are there he is just afraid of them and afraid of ruining what you currently have by letting his feelings get involved.
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Jun 21, 2015Comments: 3 · Posts: 2104 · Topics: 89
I think PhoenixRising is on point with her perspective. The "I love you in a special way" was what really threw me off when I attempted to decipher his motives.
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Jul 20, 2015Comments: 11 · Posts: 858 · Topics: 34
everybody here psychoanalyze too much by their perspective so in the end you still confused. my advice its go with the flow and give him some time dont pressure dont ask too many question just have fun together make him believe you are first his friend and than his loveer
Thanks everyone for your comments and insight. FrostAndBite is right.....it's been a very long time.
Sometimes we meet someone and it is as if you have known each other your whole life. They then become a part of your life, for a very long time, good or bad.
When he's good, it's great! When he pulls back, it is sheer misery and torture for me.
In the past couple of years I have rejected his invites to get together and have kept my communication limited to protect myself and my heart.
I wonder if it's a karmic connection or a soul connection (yes, I do believe in those things).
So I took the advice give me after i p posted and contacted him to ask the direct question of what exactly he meant, and I also asked if it meant like a sister (because that would be just icky at this point).
His reply was this, and I quote:
"I love you because we had great times and you’re a great person.but before I tell someone that I REALLY love them I have to make sure to myself that she is the one and that I am ready for that commitment so I can give the love back.so maybe that is what im afraid of"
so, there it is.....there is not a thing I can do....he has to do it on his own.
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Jun 13, 2015Comments: 3 · Posts: 191 · Topics: 21
I LOVE YOU IN A SPECIAL WAY, in this context, translates as YOU'RE ANYTHING BUT SPECIAL!
Elaborately: YOU ARE NEVER MY PRIORITY NOT EVEN SECOND IN MY AGENDA, YOU ARE WHAT I'D CONSIDER MY HOBBY, ENTERTAINMENT SET UP, BOOTY CALL NAME IT WHICHEVER WAY I'LL NEVER BOTHER SPENDING TIME OR DOING ANYTHING REAL WITH YOU SINCE I COULD GETAWAY WITH JUST SPRINKLING SOME WORDS LIKE "SPECIAL", "MEANINGFUL", "I LIKE THAT ABOUT YOU..." ETC.
sorry for caps but I've just felt it should be in caps.
I love you is I love you, without further ado, if it had following statements like that it usually means he's NOT IN LOVE BUT TROLLING! again like I said this is in this context.
when you ask if he loves you or not and he says something along the lines of FEELINGS SO INTENSE I'M AFRAID TO FACE IT etc. THEN RUN!
thanks Elly, oops....FrostAndBite....I always read your posts and I remember when you were going through all of the things you stated above and then when you started dating your Scorp. I am truly sorry that you are now going through what you are....hugs.
I just always try to figure out the connection and/or the lesson from relationships in life, whether romantic, platonic, etc.
I have dated others in the past couple of years, but he and I are always drawn back to each other.
I don't push and ask him questions as I did in the past. He makes these comments and then I wonder WTF?!
Anyway, it is what it is....I can't change it or him and I believe that what is meant to be, will always find it's way.
Hugs to you, take time for you so that you can be clear in your mind and heart what it is that you want in the end.
Thanks Elly....I hope you are feeling better now....it all takes time and time for ourselves. Not an easy thing to go through, but better that you make decisions now, than after you are married, if you go that route. I wish you much happiness in whatever you decide or wherever your path takes you : )
We both felt the instant connection and the fact that we felt like we had known each other our whole lives. He stated that many times. He also told me that he had never felt so connected to a woman before. I took all of these things as positive comments, as we get along so well when we are together. He was very inviting when we first met, asking me to do things, go places, and have dinner with him at his place...he's an excellent cook. It was during those times we developed a year long friendship prior to anything romantic happening between us. We both just went with the flow, and it developed over time.
So, no, I don't feel or believe I was the only one to motivate our interactions. It wasn't until we got more involved that he started to pull away. As many times as we have been distant with each other for weeks or even months, over the last 2 years, one of us eventually reaches out to the other, and so it begins.
I have definitely learned things about myself during my up and down and back and forth times with him.
I am must more guarded now, and it hurts like hell when you love someone, but you can't do anything about it. So, I am just going with the flow.
I have dated others in the past 2 years but my heart still loves him.