saweetz1988
@saweetz1988
12 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 4807 · Topics: 263
Please help, stay or walk away....!!
Well, you've got him now! He could be testing you to see what you do with a little indifference. Do you stay, or do you leave? Do you become overly clingy, do you become distant and aloof, or do you do something of a happy medium? For the very-long-term, he'll want someone who can stand on her own two feet but who still wants him by her side. You can't tell him these things. You have to show him. Through time. And he won't ask you, because that would influence your response to be on-the-spot and potentially not as honest.
He may be testing you subconsciously. It'll do no good to point this out. Just keep being 'you' and he'll get over his fears, bit by bit. 🙂
Btw any time he tells you one of his fears, this is a GOOD sign of long-term potential. Friends don't get full disclosure. There is always the chance that a man is playing a woman. A man of ANY sign. But telling secrets, for those of us prowling this forum, tends to be a very intimate thing.
He may be testing you subconsciously. It'll do no good to point this out. Just keep being 'you' and he'll get over his fears, bit by bit. 🙂
Btw any time he tells you one of his fears, this is a GOOD sign of long-term potential. Friends don't get full disclosure. There is always the chance that a man is playing a woman. A man of ANY sign. But telling secrets, for those of us prowling this forum, tends to be a very intimate thing.
Lets begin to analyze your situation from the beginning.
You were dating this particular scorpio 4 years ago. Then you went away and returned to him. When a scorpio dates a person ,he/she puts a certain amount of trust in a person. When you both separated, that trust was eroded and he doesn't trust you like before anymore.
You gave your Virgo 80% love and commitment, not 100% and also left him eventually(it was because things were not working out but you did leave him).There is a possibility that you are not giving 100% of yourself to him having come out of a relationship only recently (even though you say so) and he is sensing it. Also ,just as you left the virgo, you might leave him someday and he secretly fears it.
When he committed to you, he relinquished a certain amount of control that helps him keep his heart safe in case you take off. Relinquishing that control made him feel vulnerable and he in turn tested you by saying —Move on,be happy?? etc. hoping you would now leave, he would be able to get the control back and things will be —safe?? for him again while actually wanting you to stay by his side.(This is difficult to understand so ask for clarification if you don't).
Scorpio??s don't do FWB and don't pursue a woman for FWB either,they are magnetic enough to pick anyone they want for short term fun🙂 .Using the words —FWB?? as against —relationship?? grants him a fake sense of emotional security because he still fears that things will go wrong and you will leave.
Staying or leaving is your choice.
If you do stay, follow what draumstafir has recommended,it shall sure work.
You were dating this particular scorpio 4 years ago. Then you went away and returned to him. When a scorpio dates a person ,he/she puts a certain amount of trust in a person. When you both separated, that trust was eroded and he doesn't trust you like before anymore.
You gave your Virgo 80% love and commitment, not 100% and also left him eventually(it was because things were not working out but you did leave him).There is a possibility that you are not giving 100% of yourself to him having come out of a relationship only recently (even though you say so) and he is sensing it. Also ,just as you left the virgo, you might leave him someday and he secretly fears it.
When he committed to you, he relinquished a certain amount of control that helps him keep his heart safe in case you take off. Relinquishing that control made him feel vulnerable and he in turn tested you by saying —Move on,be happy?? etc. hoping you would now leave, he would be able to get the control back and things will be —safe?? for him again while actually wanting you to stay by his side.(This is difficult to understand so ask for clarification if you don't).
Scorpio??s don't do FWB and don't pursue a woman for FWB either,they are magnetic enough to pick anyone they want for short term fun🙂 .Using the words —FWB?? as against —relationship?? grants him a fake sense of emotional security because he still fears that things will go wrong and you will leave.
Staying or leaving is your choice.
If you do stay, follow what draumstafir has recommended,it shall sure work.
Posted by NeurotoxinPosted by MellyMel909
I guess I don't understand why some (most?) Scorps seem to enter a relationship with one foot already out the door.. Almost like they're setting themselves up for a loss and yet not realizing (or maybe they do?) that they orchestrated the whole thing; they created a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts..
I understand the need for trust in a relationship. But shouldn't every new relationship - even a new relationship with an old lover - start from square one? Take the lessons you learned with you, but leave the issues in the past. No "testing", no "games".. either you are okay with the other person and deal with issues as they come up, or you aren't okay with the person / aren't over the issues and therefore probably should not be in a relationship. Otherwise, what's the point?
I was just asked something similar to this. To be succinct I think it's a self esteem issue.click to expand
Totally agree... There is a duality to a scorpio's self esteem. We are supremely confident, but insecure? Or at least that is the case with the scorp's I know.
I'd also consider the fact that the sign of rebirth must implicitly mean death of a relationship- can your relationship evolve to the next level?
Fixed signs- we are masochistic and if already a little emotionally damaged can/ will/ do self sabotage a relationship but cannot let you go.
Pays to consider the other aspects of the chart of course and hope for a few peaceful/ moderating influences...
I will add more details to hopefully help me making a decision. Please bear with me as there's hell alot more to it.
when he first asked me to give him a chance..i jumped from being me...to being overly committed..deep , honest, sweet open way too soon. I lost my sense of self because of his secret power. It was so intense in the first week that he literally broke down the next week not being able to cope with the whole " relationship " we talked about ...moving in together, marriage etc the first week of dating. I assumed that was what he wanted since he pursued me that way over the last 3 years. My purpose of returning to him was so i can be happily after and not having to play those mind games with guys...holding back my heart incase they turn around and hurt mine first. I gave him my full heart and he obviously sensed it somehow so he pushed me away saying i should move on be happy etc. A week after he broke up with me I insisted on offering my support and being there for him because i know he was going through a lot. It was then he realised that my support and love is genuine I did not LEAVE just because he pushed me away. now we obviously got back together..then he pushed me away again the next day..the next day he wanted me...then he pushed me away again...I was sick and tired of his " push and pull" game so i tried to cut it loose with him. His guard went UP and hated me for it saying i was supposed to be a supported friend etc. Now we had a massive argument. I wrote him a long list of things we should do if he really does want me and want us to work out because of his UPS and Downs syndrome which is related to his...illness...I was suppose to give him the whole weekend to properly think about it but I got all defensive because i realised the first week he was dying for his best friend's support who not only pushed him away but refused to even see his face because of how sick he is and she's refusing to be there for him. I got hurt because i felt that my support and love meant NOTHING...so i wrote him another MEAN letter the next day telling him he should disregard the letter as i have chosen to move on with my life etc. He was confused wondering why did i turn around etc. I ignored him for a day then wrote another apologise letter saying i want us in good terms etc. We clarified the problems that he really needed his best friend there as him knowing her for over 10 years make it easier for him to help him get better.. etc. however over the l
when he first asked me to give him a chance..i jumped from being me...to being overly committed..deep , honest, sweet open way too soon. I lost my sense of self because of his secret power. It was so intense in the first week that he literally broke down the next week not being able to cope with the whole " relationship " we talked about ...moving in together, marriage etc the first week of dating. I assumed that was what he wanted since he pursued me that way over the last 3 years. My purpose of returning to him was so i can be happily after and not having to play those mind games with guys...holding back my heart incase they turn around and hurt mine first. I gave him my full heart and he obviously sensed it somehow so he pushed me away saying i should move on be happy etc. A week after he broke up with me I insisted on offering my support and being there for him because i know he was going through a lot. It was then he realised that my support and love is genuine I did not LEAVE just because he pushed me away. now we obviously got back together..then he pushed me away again the next day..the next day he wanted me...then he pushed me away again...I was sick and tired of his " push and pull" game so i tried to cut it loose with him. His guard went UP and hated me for it saying i was supposed to be a supported friend etc. Now we had a massive argument. I wrote him a long list of things we should do if he really does want me and want us to work out because of his UPS and Downs syndrome which is related to his...illness...I was suppose to give him the whole weekend to properly think about it but I got all defensive because i realised the first week he was dying for his best friend's support who not only pushed him away but refused to even see his face because of how sick he is and she's refusing to be there for him. I got hurt because i felt that my support and love meant NOTHING...so i wrote him another MEAN letter the next day telling him he should disregard the letter as i have chosen to move on with my life etc. He was confused wondering why did i turn around etc. I ignored him for a day then wrote another apologise letter saying i want us in good terms etc. We clarified the problems that he really needed his best friend there as him knowing her for over 10 years make it easier for him to help him get better.. etc. however over the l
however over the last few weeks he came into the realisation that he told me things he never thought he would. He trust me more than he thought he was capable of. He shared with me almost anything and spent a few hours one night telling me to keep asking him about ANYTHING . He pushed me to ask him more and more and more questions to the point where I had no more questions to ask !! he kept telling me how important it is that i know certain information that no one else does and that is a HUGE thing for him...We obviously had a hell of a roller coster ride over the last few weeks and damn it has not been easy. It was my idea suggesting the FWB thing because i know being in a relationship is way too much for him because of his condition. I want to be there and support him through thick and thin and want to leave the sex aside but that is also hard to resist ! 🙂 however i know it could lead to problems as we both are possessive signs and will only hurt one another. He's already showing signs of possessiveness so i thought i better act fast and end this whole fwb thing if needs be. Last night my ex called up and he asked me what was wrong. I told him it was my ex and i was annoyed etc. He asked why i was still upset when he calls.. i said I'm not i just don't want to hear from him. then he said " maybe you should go and be with him " and i'm like " what?" and he's like " maybe he can be a better sex buddy"...then he's like " jokes"...gosh that pissed me off !
He does have serious issues and over the last 3 years he did not have anyone else. In fact i was the only person he got intimidated with ... So i know its not the sex thing because we don't just have sex...we have a hell lots of passionate kissing.. and he always ask me how it was and not believing when i say it was good ! ..he seems to doubt his capability and lack of self -esteem is his biggest issue ! ...I know he can't love me fully untill he starts loving himself first.. so i think if i ever walk away from it all..it will just prove him right that he's not worth it and no one wants him etc. It is the test he created in his own head to prove him right and hurt others before they hurt him. ...am i right?
He does have serious issues and over the last 3 years he did not have anyone else. In fact i was the only person he got intimidated with ... So i know its not the sex thing because we don't just have sex...we have a hell lots of passionate kissing.. and he always ask me how it was and not believing when i say it was good ! ..he seems to doubt his capability and lack of self -esteem is his biggest issue ! ...I know he can't love me fully untill he starts loving himself first.. so i think if i ever walk away from it all..it will just prove him right that he's not worth it and no one wants him etc. It is the test he created in his own head to prove him right and hurt others before they hurt him. ...am i right?
I also find it so difficult to understand he called " first real love" he got her back and pushed her away again because he couldn't stand the intensity. She's now dating a new man and he still sees her as his first real love but yet decided to move on in life. I found this truly fascinating ! they really do not let go of their past yet when the past lovers enter their life again...they PUSH them away... what is up with that..
LACK of SELF esteem is definitely the biggest problem here and i have to KEEP assuring him that he deserves every bits of my love and support and keep reminding him that everything he does or have is great !...whether that will be the food he cooks, his house, his body, his sex...i feel like he needs those words from me to boost his self esteem because he questions himself constantly. obviously it may be his illness and not just him being a scorpio so my case could be totally off the mark here ! :S
* It is really sad...and i don't know how i got myself into this situation !!
LACK of SELF esteem is definitely the biggest problem here and i have to KEEP assuring him that he deserves every bits of my love and support and keep reminding him that everything he does or have is great !...whether that will be the food he cooks, his house, his body, his sex...i feel like he needs those words from me to boost his self esteem because he questions himself constantly. obviously it may be his illness and not just him being a scorpio so my case could be totally off the mark here ! :S
* It is really sad...and i don't know how i got myself into this situation !!
Posted by Draumstafir
Well, you've got him now! He could be testing you to see what you do with a little indifference. Do you stay, or do you leave? Do you become overly clingy, do you become distant and aloof, or do you do something of a happy medium? For the very-long-term, he'll want someone who can stand on her own two feet but who still wants him by her side. You can't tell him these things. You have to show him. Through time. And he won't ask you, because that would influence your response to be on-the-spot and potentially not as honest.
He may be testing you subconsciously. It'll do no good to point this out. Just keep being 'you' and he'll get over his fears, bit by bit. 🙂
Btw any time he tells you one of his fears, this is a GOOD sign of long-term potential. Friends don't get full disclosure. There is always the chance that a man is playing a woman. A man of ANY sign. But telling secrets, for those of us prowling this forum, tends to be a very intimate thing.
your response hits me in the head ! thank you 🙂 i have definitely started to be somewhere in the middle. He's intreat to know what i do,who i meet etc yet wanting his space but need me at the same time...I realised it is a great start me knowing things others don't and it seems to be even more of a bigger deal to him than it is to me. He kept saying how important it is that he trusts me to the point where he shared certain information with me and that should say enough.... I will keep being me ....🙂
Posted by Scorpvenus
Lets begin to analyze your situation from the beginning.
When he committed to you, he relinquished a certain amount of control that helps him keep his heart safe in case you take off. Relinquishing that control made him feel vulnerable and he in turn tested you by saying —Move on,be happy?? etc. hoping you would now leave, he would be able to get the control back and things will be —safe?? for him again while actually wanting you to stay by his side.(This is difficult to understand so ask for clarification if you don't).
" .Using the words —FWB?? as against —relationship?? grants him a fake sense of emotional security because he still fears that things will go wrong and you will leave. "
If you do stay, follow what draumstafir has recommended,it shall sure work.
how does he not feel safe having me by his side...because he lost his sense of control ...because his heart is taking over his head?...
They don't trust easily ...that's all i know 🙂
Posted by LilliLouPosted by NeurotoxinPosted by MellyMel909
Fixed signs- we are masochistic and if already a little emotionally damaged can/ will/ do self sabotage a relationship but cannot let you go.
totally agree !
Posted by saweetz1988Posted by Scorpvenus
how does he not feel safe having me by his side...because he lost his sense of control ...because his heart is taking over his head?...click to expand
Yes,and also because he has opened up to you emotionally.Opening up emotionally=making oneself vulnerable because the other person has the power to hurt you then.
Posted by Ellybean
I would say a Scorpio with one foot out the door, using 'tests' and projecting insecurities is doing so because they haven't quite gotten their full of masochism and drama yet. They might still equate drama with passion and passion with happiness.
Agreed🙂
Fixed signs- we are masochistic and if already a little emotionally damaged can/ will/ do self sabotage a relationship but cannot let you go.
1+.
Posted by saweetz1988
syndrome which is related to his...illness...I was suppose to give him the whole weekend to properly think about it but I got all defensive because i realised the first week he was dying for his best friend's support who not only pushed him away but refused to even see his face because of how sick he is and she's refusing to be there for him.
Is his sickness a medically defined physical or mental condition or do you refer to him as sick because he plays games?
Posted by ScorpvenusPosted by saweetz1988
syndrome which is related to his...illness...I was suppose to give him the whole weekend to properly think about it but I got all defensive because i realised the first week he was dying for his best friend's support who not only pushed him away but refused to even see his face because of how sick he is and she's refusing to be there for him.
Is his sickness a medically defined physical or mental condition or do you refer to him as sick because he plays games?click to expand
Mental condition ..he's getting help so i am trying to be there for him in the process...its like dealing with a scorpio with a whole other level...
You seem confused.
You're giving too much of yourself.
He has given you very little.
Don't expect to drop this "FWB" title anytime soon because he's coming off as quite immature and insecure.
You're giving too much of yourself.
He has given you very little.
Don't expect to drop this "FWB" title anytime soon because he's coming off as quite immature and insecure.
So after an intense 4 nights of being together . What he called FWB showed otherwise .. We had an amazing time n Lots of *fireworks* he told me yesterday he wanted to have a bit of a break because we are entering relationship territory. He needs some space so he could start fixing himself properly ! He claims he's not worth my support and love and he will hurt me if we continue ( the usual) I am not hurt but more happy this week. I had no expectations in him or us so this spacing thing does not bother me . .. Yet ... Have I really got him now? He picked me up from work cause he don't want me to catch a train. Sweetest thing so far.. Obviously apart from all the pleasing in the bedroom .. Should I touch base with him once a day or leave him alone completely...he's been having horrible days at work n his mindset at the moment is no where near safe/healthy ..😢
I have no idea why you asked this question ....
"Should I touch base with him once a day or leave him alone completely"
... this morning. Thus far, you being is rug is working beautifully, can't you see that?
Or maybe not, perhaps, your brain is face down on the floor, as to give him your backbone to tred on. The only thing you need to do is turn over, so you can have awareness that you positioned yourself to be used .... but, that would likely be too real.
So, I change that .... you should keep laying there, once inertia sets in, you'll be too oblivious to know any difference, and then you can live within the fantasy of bliss for a good long while.
"Should I touch base with him once a day or leave him alone completely"
... this morning. Thus far, you being is rug is working beautifully, can't you see that?
Or maybe not, perhaps, your brain is face down on the floor, as to give him your backbone to tred on. The only thing you need to do is turn over, so you can have awareness that you positioned yourself to be used .... but, that would likely be too real.
So, I change that .... you should keep laying there, once inertia sets in, you'll be too oblivious to know any difference, and then you can live within the fantasy of bliss for a good long while.
Posted by IrresistableScorpPosted by saweetz1988
So after an intense 4 nights of being together . What he called FWB showed otherwise .. We had an amazing time n Lots of *fireworks* he told me yesterday he wanted to have a bit of a break because we are entering relationship territory. He needs some space so he could start fixing himself properly ! He claims he's not worth my support and love and he will hurt me if we continue ( the usual) I am not hurt but more happy this week. I had no expectations in him or us so this spacing thing does not bother me . .. Yet ... Have I really got him now? He picked me up from work cause he don't want me to catch a train. Sweetest thing so far.. Obviously apart from all the pleasing in the bedroom .. Should I touch base with him once a day or leave him alone completely...he's been having horrible days at work n his mindset at the moment is no where near safe/healthy ..😢
This is what Scorp does. You should be happy he's thinking like this. Retreat like this is often the first step in a series of small steps to the next level. Just give him space but let him know from time to time you are thinking of him. He told you exactly what he's thinking. Try to trust that.click to expand
Thank you. He has always been honest with me and told me things that he NEVER told anyone before. I believe that is a very good sign. I will try to trust his words. I am a very open-honest person so when he shares things with me i take them for granted as i often forget how meaningful it is for him to share certain things with me...🙂
Posted by IrresistableScorpPosted by saweetz1988
So after an intense 4 nights of being together . What he called FWB showed otherwise .. We had an amazing time n Lots of *fireworks* he told me yesterday he wanted to have a bit of a break because we are entering relationship territory. He needs some space so he could start fixing himself properly ! He claims he's not worth my support and love and he will hurt me if we continue ( the usual) I am not hurt but more happy this week. I had no expectations in him or us so this spacing thing does not bother me . .. Yet ... Have I really got him now? He picked me up from work cause he don't want me to catch a train. Sweetest thing so far.. Obviously apart from all the pleasing in the bedroom .. Should I touch base with him once a day or leave him alone completely...he's been having horrible days at work n his mindset at the moment is no where near safe/healthy ..😢
Retreat like this is often the first step in a series of small steps to the next level.click to expand
how many steps are there? so i can be prepared ...hehe
Posted by IrresistableScorp
Also, please be aware that this is probably one of those unconscious tests. He wants to see how you are going to respond to this "break" as well. Now, think closely about this: do you think he is more likely to want you to show you "get" that he's going to need time away--a BIG HUGE thing that most Scorps NEED over long term--OR do you think he may be feeling slightly insecure and wants to see if you are in this for the long haul?
What do you think? Could it be a combo of both?
I feel that is is more the first part " he is more likely to want you to show you "get" that he's going to need time away " the reason being is because he did have a perception of me being a little needy at the start . We became exclusive within the first week and that was intense for him. Over the last few weeks i have shown him my independent side. He now realised I do have a life or i want is just to be with my partner at the end of my day....that is all i really want..then i'm happy .. I am not sure if you have read my original thread. He claimed he needed time away from me to fix himself properly ..( quit drinking ) etc and that was why he broke up with me in the first place. obviously we fixed things and decided to be FWB for the time being...actions showing otherwise....so i think the title FWB is just a fake way of protecting his heart...so that leads to your second suggestion " he is insecure...and wants to test me whether i will walk away from him or not" he does know my ex is still calling and texting me...he said this last night when my ex called " why don't you be with him? " and i'm like " what? you are not serious" ...it could be a test.. tonight for example, he asked me where i was watching this sports game..he knows my ex goes for the same team as me..i chose not to spend time with my ex because that could easily ruin his trust...am i doing the right thing? I know we are not exclusive but i do not want to cause dramas ..unless he starts dating other girls..which i don't think he ever will ..:S he keeps saying we are not dating..not exclusive..i can be with whoever i like...but why does he ask me so many questions, check what i do with my phones etc....so many tests. i can't keep up with them 🙂 ..i have passed all of them so far i guess..i have always been THERE and told him i AM NOT walking away and is in it for the long haul. He is scared of my comm
Posted by IrresistableScorp
More insider info: A scorp man especially could pretty much live in a cave away from everything for their whole lives. Scorps love being on their own in their own weird world. However, yeah we get that doesn't work, so we share the love with the people we care for. My point, Scorp men need an independent woman who has their own life and doesn't make a huge fuss over every little retreat. At the same time Scorp men love to be adored. Seriously, it doesn't look like it from their placid exterior, but they dig having someone tell them how wonderful they are. Keep this in mind, my friend.
awww...thank you ! so kind ! I can already see your respond proves to be true from all the conversations i had with him. I did not react to his break in a negative way at all. He asked if i wanted to talk about it and i said there's nothing to talk about. I told him to enjoy the break of his etc and i understand his need of space and retreat ! i can offer that to my love ones as i am a social butterfly myself. It is hard to maintain my independency at times when scorpios are so magnetic and addictive in their own ways. they know how to love and spoil their women....in and out of bed...they are like rubber bands...!! I keep reminding him that he is worth it by words and actions..THank you for the tips ! they are very useful
Posted by saweetz1988
He has always been honest with me and told me things that he NEVER told anyone before.
Correction: He told you he has NEVER told anyone else these things.
Being gullible will make your fantasy bubble seem so real that you might never want to exit it into reality
Posted by IrresistableScorp
OMG this is an easy fix. Find a moment when you can claim this Scorp in a very direct way in front of your ex or so that it gets back to your ex. This sounds like loyalty testing. No biggie. Not saying this Scorp dude is in forever love mode with you--I don't know because I am not him--but if you feel like your ex is old news and you want to be with this Scorp, make it obvious. We love that shiite. 🙂
Don't badger on the dating other people scenario unless he starts dating others then you truly do have just an FWB.
Now that i realised, me and my virgo ex were together for 2.5 years. His best friend ( my friend) told him ..how me and my ex were still talking heaps etc.
I told my Scorpio that i did not even get hurt ending things with my ex etc and that he hurt me more braking up with me. He asked how we broke up etc...i have shown him with actions and words that my ex doesn't mean anything to me anymore and i can't be bother hearing from him etc. I definitely been making it obvious !!! if he doesn't see that ..i don't know how else to pass his test !..as off dating.. to me that is a test too... he pushes me away by saying...be with other men..you deserve better etc...to me that means ( i want to prove whether you can be loyal to me and will only love and support me in life forever) ..am i right ? haha
Posted by IrresistableScorp
P she's a Bull not a Fish. She doesn't live in a fantasy bubble darling.
hehe...that is correct...i wish i have more of a fantasy...
Posted by IrresistableScorpPosted by saweetz1988Posted by IrresistableScorp
OMG this is an easy fix. Find a moment when you can claim this Scorp in a very direct way in front of your ex or so that it gets back to your ex. This sounds like loyalty testing. No biggie. Not saying this Scorp dude is in forever love mode with you--I don't know because I am not him--but if you feel like your ex is old news and you want to be with this Scorp, make it obvious. We love that shiite. 🙂
Don't badger on the dating other people scenario unless he starts dating others then you truly do have just an FWB.
Now that i realised, me and my virgo ex were together for 2.5 years. His best friend ( my friend) told him ..how me and my ex were still talking heaps etc.
I told my Scorpio that i did not even get hurt ending things with my ex etc and that he hurt me more braking up with me. He asked how we broke up etc...i have shown him with actions and words that my ex doesn't mean anything to me anymore and i can't be bother hearing from him etc. I definitely been making it obvious !!! if he doesn't see that ..i don't know how else to pass his test !..as off dating.. to me that is a test too... he pushes me away by saying...be with other men..you deserve better etc...to me that means ( i want to prove whether you can be loyal to me and will only love and support me in life forever) ..am i right ? haha
Try not to over think. Not worth it. Just do what comes naturally. Also actions speak louder than words so just telling Scorp dude could actually mean exactly zero to him with regards to how you are feeling about ex.
Remember you told Scorp that you it hurt you that Virgo broke up with you--kind of a red flag. That may mean your are not completely over as for the typical Scorp of someone breaks up with us, it takes awhile before we are ready for another relationship. Just things to keep in mind. Try not to over think things. Go with the flow until or if until the flow seems to stop.click to expand
🙂 i just want to clarify that i said to my scorpion that I did not feel hurt at all when me and my ex broke up but got more hurt when my scorpio broke up with me....even though we were together for a week...compared to 2.5 yea
Of course, she lives in a bubble, my dear ......
She wants him and come hell or high water, she isn't going to budge from that position ... even to her own detriment.
that's living in fantasy land ... a land where you cannot see beyond what you want
Posted by saweetz1988
I finally gave him a chance as I was 100 percent sure he was the last person i would be with so i gave my all to him within days !!
He pushed me away after committing to him for a week. .... I was extremely hurt because i gave him the commitment and loyalty like no others.
The last few weeks i have proven to him that i would always BE THERE when he needs me. I was and am the only person who's offering him the support that he needs.
At first he was reluctant to take my support but as days went by he gave me the trust he never thought he could or would. He has told me things he never told anyone before...even his best friends of over 10 years...I'm the only person that know more about him than ANY one else..
She wants him and come hell or high water, she isn't going to budge from that position ... even to her own detriment.
that's living in fantasy land ... a land where you cannot see beyond what you want
Just because a person is determined ... such as this Bull ... doesn't mean that what she wants is worthy, simply because she seeks it.
Obviously, she is European .... therefore, it is her duty to not only conform to him, also, let him know she is always available to trod upon, if he so desires ...
Obviously, she is European .... therefore, it is her duty to not only conform to him, also, let him know she is always available to trod upon, if he so desires ...
Here is it is in a nutshell .......
Throughout this thread, she mentions over and over how she insists on being there for him, she will go above and beyond to prove to him that she will support him no matter what.
Then turns around and acts pissy because she isn't appreciated
Then turns around and gets jealous that he isn't taking her support more seriously than all others ... when she was the one insisting that she gives it unconditionally.
Posted by saweetz1988
..... I insisted on offering my support and being there for him because i know he was going through a lot. It was then he realised that my support and love is genuine I did not LEAVE just because he pushed me away.
I wrote him a long list of things we should do if he really does want me and want us to work out ...I was suppose to give him the whole weekend to properly think about it but I got all defensive because i realised the first week he was dying for his best friend's support who not only pushed him away but refused to even see his face because of how sick he is and she's refusing to be there for him. I got hurt because i felt that my support and love meant NOTHING...so i wrote him another MEAN letter the next day telling him he should disregard the letter as i have chosen to move on with my life etc. He was confused wondering why did i turn around etc. I ignored him for a day then wrote another apologise letter saying i want us in good terms etc.
Throughout this thread, she mentions over and over how she insists on being there for him, she will go above and beyond to prove to him that she will support him no matter what.
Then turns around and acts pissy because she isn't appreciated
Then turns around and gets jealous that he isn't taking her support more seriously than all others ... when she was the one insisting that she gives it unconditionally.
No doubt, it's tunnel vision ... hence: she lives in a bubble
Posted by IrresistableScorp
Hmm...
Never a good idea to think you know what a Scorp is thinking especially when it comes to proving you will always be there for him. :/
Also, no one can give commitment for a week. Commitment takes time over years so yeah giving commitment and loyalty for a week is like putting a drop in a barrel. Its foolish to think that means anything.
P she's a taurus. They are the kings and queens of tunnel-vision when it comes to something they want. 😄
Its part of their charm. lol
I just want to point out the facts or reasons why i gave out my commitment the way i did. I am a bull and as people already know, we are cautious and take time to trust...and you need alot of patience to win our hearts over....my previous exs neveer got my full commitment
In my case..these are the facts..( not fantasy).
> He was an ex of mine who loved me for over 3 years after we broke up.
> He did not let go of me ever since. I have never talked to him or contacted him . He kept his contacts light and friendly when i was dating my ex virgo. the moment i became single, he was back in my life in seconds..! literally...I got a text from him when my status turned to single ! He told me that I am a special girl and should be treated as such...and in life forever etc.
> His best friend is my ex housemate who i kept in contacts over the past 3 years. She is obviously our match maker. She knows that I was the biggest mistake he ever made in his life...and he would do whatever it takes to have me back..
I know scorpions have their way of doing whatever it takes to have that WIN and i am not going to argue if it was just the WINING me over game or he truly and sincerely see me as his future partner forever.
I have finally decided to give him a chance finally after 3 years and we connected instantly like we never parted. He was stalking me over the last 3 years. Unfortunately the truth is i never thought about him in that way..I could be subconciously but never missed or loved him. Once i gave him the chance...my commitment and loyalty started straight away. Once a taurus makes a decision or a commitment it is extremely difficult to turn around and take them back. We are stubborn people and I know my gut was telling me it was the right thing to do and i never felt so right since giving him that commitment...it is indeed hard to turn that all aroun
After a week of being together, we shared so much intimacy, love, commitment, intense conversations..( kids, marriage) etc.. it was too much for him and he had a mental breakdown !!!! that was when he decided to brake up with me as he feel he needs to change his life around before coming back to me again..or try again...he did not want to lead me on telling me we will be back together within a few months or years or whatever as future is unpredictable. His conditions may never get better so therefore i have decided to be there for him regardless of the title as that is the most less stressful way to deal with his conditions..
We had our rough few weeks at first but over the last week after spending a lot of time together i realised being together makes it a lot easier to understand each other. His actions shown otherwise as FWB would not do the whole...kissing,cuddling,asking questions, deep and meaningful conversations.. thoughtful little things that they do...I am a bull as you said so i don't even know how it is to live in a fantasy world. I make my decisions based on how things are as face value and nothing less. . Sometimes i find it is a little difficult to understand scorpions ways of communication but over time he's a lot easier to understand.
We had our rough few weeks at first but over the last week after spending a lot of time together i realised being together makes it a lot easier to understand each other. His actions shown otherwise as FWB would not do the whole...kissing,cuddling,asking questions, deep and meaningful conversations.. thoughtful little things that they do...I am a bull as you said so i don't even know how it is to live in a fantasy world. I make my decisions based on how things are as face value and nothing less. . Sometimes i find it is a little difficult to understand scorpions ways of communication but over time he's a lot easier to understand.
He just sent me this quote
" don't let good sex confuse your heart and make you think you're in love" with a message...just saying😉
interpretation ? .....
" don't let good sex confuse your heart and make you think you're in love" with a message...just saying😉
interpretation ? .....
Posted by Nemesis
why would you need that translated or interpretated? it's clear as sunshine. ^^. sex is sex. and love is love.
some things are what they are and not what we wish they were.
I knew that but the fact that he is trying to prove his point hurts me even more ! Yes, i did agree to be FWB with him but the last week we shared something otherwise and his action proved otherwise..
I guess i will start dating just to show him that I get his point. I shall will .
Posted by Nemesis
YOU think you shared something very special; and by all means it might have been for you. for him it was not the same experience ......
FWB work for a while - i??ll admit that. but long term never fucking ever. both go into these with different expectations and for varying reasons.
I value your opinion. I"m curious to see what sign you are.
I am not forcing anything from him but sometimes scorpios have their own weird ways of thinking that is why i am here hunting for answers.
Maybe you are right, the truth is standing right in front of me and I refuse to see or listen... however as i said on my previous comments, the actions spoke otherwise.. How can i believe it is just FWB in such circumstances. I guess I will cut the sex out and see what happens.
Maybe you are right, the truth is standing right in front of me and I refuse to see or listen... however as i said on my previous comments, the actions spoke otherwise.. How can i believe it is just FWB in such circumstances. I guess I will cut the sex out and see what happens.
Posted by MellyMel909Posted by saweetz1988
I am not forcing anything from him but sometimes scorpios have their own weird ways of thinking that is why i am here hunting for answers.
Maybe you are right, the truth is standing right in front of me and I refuse to see or listen... however as i said on my previous comments, the actions spoke otherwise.. How can i believe it is just FWB in such circumstances. I guess I will cut the sex out and see what happens.
Do NOT play games with Scorpios!! It would be like playing "Battleship" or "Connect Four" against Milton Bradley. Even if you *think* you've "won", They invented the damn game so you still end up losing!! Especially you being a Taurus - game playing is not your forte.click to expand
...I am not cutting out the sex to play game...
I guess i don't want us to turn into some drama scenarios where i end up with another guy one night then i will have to tell him...then he will get hurt..or vice versa! We are both stubborn and the most possessive signs of the zodiac and i do not know how we got ourselves into this situation.
We both like to owe the other person in someway. We are possessive and i heard scorpions are worst when it comes to possessions. I just don't know how he would feel if i ever end up kissing another guy while having this FWB with him. It will be too complicated and i don't us to end up in that circumstances 😢when we sit in the same room and one person gets up..the other always say " where are you going ? " or when one goes onto the other phone.... the other person tries to see what that person is doing...on the phone ! its not a very fun thing to have if we continue our FWB ...
This applies for ANY man (regardless of his astrological sign) if a man TELLS YOU he only wants to be FWB, either accept his offer knowing that is what it is goingto be and not expecting any more, or walk away if you can't do it.
I for one cannot. I am Scorpio and the whole FWB does not sit well with me for multiple reasons. Scorpio men can get very possessive over those who they feel are theirs. The fact that he is willing to risk you going off with another man, is a HUGE indication (I feel) that he does not see you in that way.
Men can be fickle. Especially, if something is given to them too easily. You have to make men invest in you. People are more inclined to work towards an investment and then protect it once they get it. All this business of giving yourself in a matter of day/weeks... Might not have been the wisest choice. If you have given ALL of yourself already without him really knowing YOU, what's left for him?
If you cant handle being FWB, which I understand, walk away. If he comes back, please do not make the same mistake.
I for one cannot. I am Scorpio and the whole FWB does not sit well with me for multiple reasons. Scorpio men can get very possessive over those who they feel are theirs. The fact that he is willing to risk you going off with another man, is a HUGE indication (I feel) that he does not see you in that way.
Men can be fickle. Especially, if something is given to them too easily. You have to make men invest in you. People are more inclined to work towards an investment and then protect it once they get it. All this business of giving yourself in a matter of day/weeks... Might not have been the wisest choice. If you have given ALL of yourself already without him really knowing YOU, what's left for him?
If you cant handle being FWB, which I understand, walk away. If he comes back, please do not make the same mistake.
and not expect any more**
I just want to point out the facts or reasons why i gave out my commitment the way i did. I am a bull and as people already know, we are cautious and take time to trust...and you need alot of patience to win our hearts over....my previous exs neveer got my full commitment
In my case..these are the facts..( not fantasy).
from my previous comment incase you havn't truly read my thread.
> He was an ex of mine who loved me for over 3 years after we broke up.
> He did not let go of me ever since. I have never talked to him or contacted him . He kept his contacts light and friendly when i was dating my ex virgo. the moment i became single, he was back in my life in seconds..! literally...I got a text from him when my status turned to single ! He told me that I am a special girl and should be treated as such...and in life forever etc.
> His best friend is my ex housemate who i kept in contacts over the past 3 years. She is obviously our match maker. She knows that I was the biggest mistake he ever made in his life...and he would do whatever it takes to have me back..
I know scorpions have their way of doing whatever it takes to have that WIN and i am not going to argue if it was just the WINING me over game or he truly and sincerely see me as his future partner forever.
I have finally decided to give him a chance finally after 3 years and we connected instantly like we never parted. He was stalking me over the last 3 years. Unfortunately the truth is i never thought about him in that way..I could be subconciously but never missed or loved him. Once i gave him the chance...my commitment and loyalty started straight away. Once a taurus makes a decision or a commitment it is extremely difficult to turn around and take them back. We are stubborn people and I know my gut was telling me it was the right thing to do and i never felt so right since giving him that commitment.
In my case..these are the facts..( not fantasy).
from my previous comment incase you havn't truly read my thread.
> He was an ex of mine who loved me for over 3 years after we broke up.
> He did not let go of me ever since. I have never talked to him or contacted him . He kept his contacts light and friendly when i was dating my ex virgo. the moment i became single, he was back in my life in seconds..! literally...I got a text from him when my status turned to single ! He told me that I am a special girl and should be treated as such...and in life forever etc.
> His best friend is my ex housemate who i kept in contacts over the past 3 years. She is obviously our match maker. She knows that I was the biggest mistake he ever made in his life...and he would do whatever it takes to have me back..
I know scorpions have their way of doing whatever it takes to have that WIN and i am not going to argue if it was just the WINING me over game or he truly and sincerely see me as his future partner forever.
I have finally decided to give him a chance finally after 3 years and we connected instantly like we never parted. He was stalking me over the last 3 years. Unfortunately the truth is i never thought about him in that way..I could be subconciously but never missed or loved him. Once i gave him the chance...my commitment and loyalty started straight away. Once a taurus makes a decision or a commitment it is extremely difficult to turn around and take them back. We are stubborn people and I know my gut was telling me it was the right thing to do and i never felt so right since giving him that commitment.
Posted by natural25
This applies for ANY man (regardless of his astrological sign) if a man TELLS YOU he only wants to be FWB, either accept his offer knowing that is what it is goingto be and not expecting any more, or walk away if you can't do it.
I for one cannot. I am Scorpio and the whole FWB does not sit well with me for multiple reasons. Scorpio men can get very possessive over those who they feel are theirs. The fact that he is willing to risk you going off with another man, is a HUGE indication (I feel) that he does not see you in that way.
Men can be fickle. Especially, if something is given to them too easily. You have to make men invest in you. People are more inclined to work towards an investment and then protect it once they get it. All this business of giving yourself in a matter of day/weeks... Might not have been the wisest choice. If you have given ALL of yourself already without him really knowing YOU, what's left for him?
If you cant handle being FWB, which I understand, walk away. If he comes back, please do not make the same mistake.
I still value your opinion and i have made a decision to walk away from it and be there as his friends because he needs it.
Well let us not forget the MAIN fact. He does not want to be in a relationship.
If you feel like you made the right decision, thats perfectly fine. I was merely sharing my perspective based on what I know about men in general, Scorpio men, myself as a Scorpio, and dating. Just because you gave him a chance does not mean you jump in head first, without getting to know him romantically. The point I am trying to make is that you should think of yourself as the prize also. He isnt just choosing you, you are also choosing him. He chased you for three years. You never really thought of him like that. You decided to give him a chance, GREAT! Clap, clap, bravo. Now, DATE him. Get to know him romantically so you can make a proper assessment if HE is WORTHY of YOU. Its not about WINNING, its about demonstrating to him your self worth.
Now, you have given of yourself and he has left the building. My best advice for you would be to walk away. Tell him that you care about him and can no longer do the FWB thing and wish him the best of luck. Otherwise, you might just continue to invest yourself physically and emotionally into a man who is not only not reciprocating but will not change.
If you feel like you made the right decision, thats perfectly fine. I was merely sharing my perspective based on what I know about men in general, Scorpio men, myself as a Scorpio, and dating. Just because you gave him a chance does not mean you jump in head first, without getting to know him romantically. The point I am trying to make is that you should think of yourself as the prize also. He isnt just choosing you, you are also choosing him. He chased you for three years. You never really thought of him like that. You decided to give him a chance, GREAT! Clap, clap, bravo. Now, DATE him. Get to know him romantically so you can make a proper assessment if HE is WORTHY of YOU. Its not about WINNING, its about demonstrating to him your self worth.
Now, you have given of yourself and he has left the building. My best advice for you would be to walk away. Tell him that you care about him and can no longer do the FWB thing and wish him the best of luck. Otherwise, you might just continue to invest yourself physically and emotionally into a man who is not only not reciprocating but will not change.
Posted by natural25
Well let us not forget the MAIN fact. He does not want to be in a relationship.
If you feel like you made the right decision, thats perfectly fine. I was merely sharing my perspective based on what I know about men in general, Scorpio men, myself as a Scorpio, and dating. Just because you gave him a chance does not mean you jump in head first, without getting to know him romantically. The point I am trying to make is that you should think of yourself as the prize also. He isnt just choosing you, you are also choosing him. He chased you for three years. You never really thought of him like that. You decided to give him a chance, GREAT! Clap, clap, bravo. Now, DATE him. Get to know him romantically so you can make a proper assessment if HE is WORTHY of YOU. Its not about WINNING, its about demonstrating to him your self worth.
Now, you have given of yourself and he has left the building. My best advice for you would be to walk away. Tell him that you care about him and can no longer do the FWB thing and wish him the best of luck. Otherwise, you might just continue to invest yourself physically and emotionally into a man who is not only not reciprocating but will not change.
perfect advice ! thank you ! i guess when i committed to him straight away like that It was my own doing. I did jump straight at him without properly dating him for a while. IT started off real quick > from both sides< anyhow, i have already told him we need to discuss about something and would like to talk to him about it. He's not available at the moment but insists on me telling him by text. ! He knows whats coming i think he can sense it !
My moon in Aquarius is on the roll !!
" You solve problems, including emotional ones, with your brains and intellect, not your feelings. Try to be tolerant of those who have powerful and obvious emotional responses -- not everyone is as objective, cool, dispassionate and detached as you are. "
I am going to walk away and let him know i can no longer enjoy this title we put on our relationship and i will be there for him as a friend.
thanks for your opinion !!!
Your'e welcome sweets. Best of luck to you!!! 🙂
so....we had a bit or arguments last night as he was out with so called his first GF ( best friend) which they catch up twice a year. I told him i have no right to be upset or jealous anyway as we are only FWB. He rest assured me there's NOTHING more to it etc and was responding to me back and forth and cared about my feelings etc. He insisted on asking me if i have been with my ex this week at all and he kept asking and asking ! ...?!?! how dare he put this whole thing back on me ! gosh they are so annoying and confusing ! i told him " don't pretend to care now as you allow me to be with other men anyway" he said he will call me today and discuss this whole situation ! GOSH ...>
Posted by Nemesis
^^ one of the 100 oldest tricks in the book......sheeshhh saweetz, are you so desperate for THIS GUY? why? ohhh yes, cause you had sex - and you got attached. as i said, FWB are always complicated.
smh.
no unfortunately i became attached before the sex... strangely enough. I could pin points other reasons other than the sex if i may... i find that having my venus in gemini , i don't become more attached after sex like most women do but instead...detached if anything 😉 i mean it ! I can be in it just for the sex itself and can put the emotions aside.
Posted by twinklebluetoesPosted by Nemesis
actually just a mad random thought - if people treated themeselves like they treated their objects of desire - hellllllll this would be on big love fest.
^^ respect yourself. love yourself. have some pride.
Exactly.
People will always wander from relationship to relationship with trust issues and intimacy issues when they don't love themselves.
They search out people to prove that they are lovable but they will constantly be paranoid and question why the person is with them because they don't believe themselves to lovable. It's just the same cycle over and over. Or they find people who will mistreat them because they feel that's all they can get or it's all they deserve.click to expand
YOU hit me in the head with that one.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
This is a long story... About nine months ago I met a Scorpio man online. We are from the same area. We dated for about
I have nothing more to say. Never dated a scorpio man, but I quite like him. Let's say it is platonic. Yes... the o
Have any of you scorpio men lost your Virgo and successfully got her back?
...my beloved scorpio man..who suffers from clinical depression and who's on medications broke up with me last night as
Long story short, I'm in a fwb relationship with a scorpio man and I am also a scorpio. Best sex I have ever had in my
So, I just had a very simple, flirtatious convo with the Scorp guy i'm seeing. He said he couldn't hang cause he is goin
Back in mid to end january i started seeing a scorpio man. Things went well, we saw each other every week or so for almo
I met this scorpio guy when I was on short vacation near his hometown last year. He is not attractive really but he was
Im constantly confused when I confront my scorpio man abut his disappearing acts and he acts aloof and calm as if nothin
Im a sagg woman who has fallen head over heels in love; literally. I fell in love with his mystery, intelligence, and Bi
I recently had a passionate and sudden liaison with a gorgeous scorpio man - it was kind of an intense sudden attraction
I met this Scorpio man last summer after just making intense eye contact and smiling for 2 months. We went on 1 date, to
OR ARE MOST OF YOU GUYS JUST DECEITFULLY DISLOYAL.. If you're a faithful Scorp, could you tell me the qualities you s
I have been seeing a scorpio man for 5 months. The connection was amazing. We met a friends house but he did not ask m
What to do and not to do when interested in a scorpio male/female myslef Do's: Silly(yourself) Smile Respect Eye
I'm currently playing with a scorp guy, and to be honest, I never fed into astrology before I met him. I have the weirde
Something about you guys makes me hott. I can spot you in a crown. WHY ARE YOU GUYZ SO PLUSHIN'. WHY DO I FANCY
So I am a Cap/Aqua cusp girl and I recently have been seeing a Scorpio man. Our relationship started out as a fling an
Is there a difference with Scorpio men and their behavior if he is younger (30's) and the Cappy Lady is older (40's)? Th
over the last two days i have had close encounters with two scorpio male friends who have both been wasted to a ridiculo
my apologies !