Power Struggle

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by 808porter on Sunday, May 11, 2014 and has 29 replies.

I'm tired of it. I want her and I want us prosper without the games. We just started back talking, and we're done again (it won't last because that's just US). She doesn't show much emotion or remorse for what she's done this time around. She lied to me but she wouldn't tell me why she did it because i was going to get more "upset." I want her to feel bad for ignoring me and the rest of her wrongdoings, but she doesn't, it frustrating and she brushes it off. She says I'm "dramatic." How do I over come this "power struggle"? What will make her show emotions again? Why does she do it knowing what it does to me?
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Posted by Impulsv
Were u attracted to the Game initially?
She's always been this way right?
Why do u want this?
U can't change people or make her do anything. Question is is the the type of relationship u want. Sometimes love does conquer all n u have love u more than them. Loving u requires leaving an unhealthy situation.
Sorry I can't give u answer as to how to change her.Sad


It was new for me. I had never experienced it. We love each other and I don't think she's going anywhere. Every time we're on one of our break, I think about how thinks are going to be different and in the process I've changed, but she brings out the worst in me. She hasn't always been this way, last time it was different, she doesn't really care, so it seems but she says otherwise. I believe her but she won't express it.
I don't want to be done with it or leave the situation, I've tried but it's hard for me. When I come back, she welcomes me back. I wish things could be different and stay that way.
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She liked to test me A LOT. When we argued today, she tried to pretend nothing happened but I wasn't having it, I said some things now were on our break. I won't say we're done with each other because that's never the case.
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I just want her to stop playing games, she claims it isn't a game, how could she not see it? I have a very soft spot for her, she's been through a lot. I don't want she's giving me, I want things to get better.
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Posted by backtokemet
you millenial kids are quite something
she has you by the balls .. tell her you're tired of playing games and if she pretends not to understand what you mean then start to emotionally disengage from the situation and CUT HER ASS OFF when you've reached a satisfying level of disengagement



I'm doing that now. I can't take it.
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Posted by Impulsv
The question
As to why u stay is not from judgement but to
Look within. Is it to rescue? I say for example because once I stayed because I saw great potential in him. But the reality is potential is not him. it may or may never become him but that is not him.
N perhaps u leaving it will make her realize how her guardedness hurts n damages other n herself. But she is at THIs time unable or unwilling to be open to receive n give love. U must let her be so that life can teach her the lessons she needs to grow.
We can only do so much be she has to want n work towards change. U are sacrificing urself too much for this love u don't have to be a martyr to her to teach her the way. At sometime u must care for ur soul from damage.
Let life teach her I'm a true believer it makes sure one way or another to face ur daemons.



It is to rescue. I see so much potential, she doesn't even see it in herself. I just want to heal and protect her. Don't get me wrong, she has been open but this time around it's different, I don't like this HER. she can be so sweet man.
But I have to do what's best for me, right? It's hard doing so when you can't grow with your lover.
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Hmmmm..... I wonder what your sign is she says rubbing her chin ???...
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Posted by Impulsv
Post in CAP forum. Just read n they are described as being capable of being cold. . It is her way of being then.


what do you mean? she's giving me the cold shoulder?
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I wouldn't call it being cold, honestly well, you're probably right. she told me that she actually never really whether she loved me or not a few days ago. She wouldn't give me a reason as to why she even told me she did in the first place. I was "upset" and apparently she couldn't take it. A day later, she tells me she loves me, lol.
I believe she does love me.
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Me being a Capricorn, I can be very cold but she doesn't even get to see that side of me, only when I'm angry.
I can't even give her that treatment because it wouldn't solve anything.
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she's been ignoring my calls and texts...
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let her go for good? or for the time being? she's definitely going to miss and love me. she already cut me off it'll only last a month though lol.
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Posted by Impulsv
Who initiated the reunion then? Did she?


I always do but she always wanted to make things right from what her friends told me. She isn't the type to put herself out there like that. I'm not making excuses for, these are her words and facts.
I kind if ruined it the last time but that all could have been avoided if she had told me how she felt. I'm not too good at taking hints or knowing when to "chill", that's also something I need to work on. She didn't help the situation though. This time around, everything was hell. There weren't any "I missed you's" lol.
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She straight up told me I better behave, my response was I'm a changed man. As I said before, she brings the worst out of me. She definitely tested me imo and I failed. It was a terrible start. It lasted a week, now were giving each other space. it seems weird but that's just us, it isn't new.
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I don't think she'll ever contact me, maybe if I let her know I'm always there for her and I only want the best for she.
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Posted by Impulsv
Then u know u do t want to be with someone u always have to do all the work.


true.
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Posted by Whatu
submit to her, she's obviously stronger.


you call what she's doing being "strong"? wow, great word of advice. I needed it. idiot.
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I will always stick by what's right and submitting isn't it. Either she'll change or I'll leave for good until she grows up and even then it'll be more an likely too late.
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*than.
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Hmph. There are a lot of issues with what you've written throughout the thread, but I'll just stick with this post:
Posted by 808porter
I will always stick by what's right and submitting isn't it. Either she'll change or I'll leave for good until she grows up and even then it'll be more an likely too late.


Yeah, it doesn't work like that with Scorps. I suggest you just leave now.
1) the breaking up just to make up is no incentive to change. It's actually just encouraging bad behaviour (which you've already stated) to see how far you are willing to go.
2) Scorps only change when they are good and ready, even if it means possibly losing someone. It's the whole self-destructive thing, just in slow motion.

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She's ready! Something's holding her back though. It must be hard for her. What do you suggest I do? I'm not ready to let her go and I wasn't suggesting that I was going to make her change, only on her own; if she's willing to work towards changing again, I'll stick it out with her. In the meantime, we need a break from each other. Longer than a few months. She knows what I expect. I'm willing to give it another chance, this is the last one though.
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Posted by backtokemet
THE POWER IMBALANCE IS DRIVING YOU MAD !
basically
1) YOU DON'T WANT TO CUT HER OFF
but
2) SHE'S REALLY INTO GAMES & HAS THE UPPER HAND
=> WOULD YOU CONSIDER TREATING HER AS A FRIEND ? THAT'S MORE OFFENSIVE TO THE FEMALE EGO THAN IGNORING HER IF SHE'S TRULY INTO YOU .. IF YOU'RE ABLE TO PULL OFF VIEWING HER AS A FRIEND SHE'LL WONDER WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU




she doesn't consider it as games. how do I get the upper hand and maintain it?
and it's funny because I'm trying to figure out what happened to her.
why would she wonder what happened to me when it's obvious? I got tired.
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"THE POWER IMBALANCE IS DRIVING YOU MAD !" except no

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Posted by backtokemet
the reasoning behind her actions may be sthg like: "I'm just trying to protect myself from being hurt/played" .. but does this matter when she's only taking her own vulnerability into account ?
"how do I get the upper hand and maintain it ?"
come on man, don't be mentally lazy .. you know her better than I do .. you'll find a way to reframe the situation if your mind is really focused





that's too much work. I'd rather go with the flow and be happy but she won't let us.
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Porter number 1. You will never get the upper hand when it comes to a Scorpio, you can kill your self trying but it will never happen and number 2 IF something is holding her back there is nothing you can do she will only be ready when she is ready, she will only destroy you if you keep going back thinking if your patient she will come around, fooling yourself thinking you can handle it and wait until she is ready because the whole time you are waiting she will completely destroy you inside out and it won't be on purpose and it won't be really her, it will be you and your expectations and the heart break when her actions or reactions are not what you expected, and the whole being friends things that won't work eventually it will either become awkward silence or constant argument...welcome to what is like being marked
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Posted by confusedInsane
Porter number 1. You will never get the upper hand when it comes to a Scorpio, you can kill your self trying but it will never happen and number 2 IF something is holding her back there is nothing you can do she will only be ready when she is ready, she will only destroy you if you keep going back thinking if your patient she will come around, fooling yourself thinking you can handle it and wait until she is ready because the whole time you are waiting she will completely destroy you inside out and it won't be on purpose and it won't be really her, it will be you and your expectations and the heart break when her actions or reactions are not what you expected, and the whole being friends things that won't work eventually it will either become awkward silence or constant argument...welcome to what is like being marked


"You will never get the upper hand when it comes to a Scorpio, you can kill your self trying but it will never happen"
1) I can't deal with how idiotic your thought process is.
"she will only destroy you if you keep going back thinking if your patient she will come around"
2) this doesn't make any sense. I can't be patient? and she won't destroy ME, this isn't a movie, it's real-life, stop the dramatics.
and what do you mean by being marked? you're making seem as if I want to leave her but I can't. I want to be there for her, so I am. she feels the same but of course, her issues.
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"fooling yourself thinking you can handle it"
3) I've been in her life for sometime; endured a lot. That says something.
are you a Scorpio? you seem to think they're God, it's ridiculous and amusing at the same time.
if you aren't one, they did a number on you because you're sick.
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Wow you took that completely the wrong way and out of context all I was trying to say was as you pointed out you have been doing this a long time the whole on and off again and you fail to see where I wrote that it won't be her to destroy you it would be you and your expectations every time you are let down, I'm not saying you aren't patient all I'm saying is pointing out you said you have been there time and time again and you are wishing things were different and marked as in is not a piece of cake piece of pie to love and understand a person that has been through a lot you said your self her issues and that has nothing to do with her being a Scorpio it is the same for anyone all I was trying to do is help you realize that the whole having the upper hand won't happen and really if you are saying you are there because you want to be and not because you can't walk away than having the upper hand really should not matter to you, and no I'm not sick I do however understand what it is like to go through a lot and how hard it can be to transition when someone cares for you as you care for her, but since you took it offensively I apologize and I wish you the best
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My apologies for taking what you said out of context. I suppose the upper isn't important. Every time we make up I go in not expecting much but the fact that it has to be that way still hurts a bit. She wants me to be there for her but she expects me to deal with how she operates. Last time we were at it we were supposed to be working towards that goal together, it was what she wanted as well as myself, some things happened though.
We got off to a bad start, I said things I shouldn't have, she led me to believe we had a mutual understanding when it wasn't that. However, we still love one another.
I'm not going to wait on her, for the time being, I'll be living my life, but when I'm with her again, things will be different. We need more time that's how I see it...
And I do accept your apology.
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