Pull the disappearing act on a Scorpio???
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by LibraScales on Sunday, March 11, 2012 and has 43 replies.
So I know that Scorpios are famous for the disappearing act on their partners and coming back. I've had it done to me as well by a Scorpio man but what would happen if you pulled the disappearing act on them? Like if they were to come back after disappearing and you were to not speak to them and give them a taste of their own medicine? Would they freak out or try to desperately contact you after a period of time?
Scorpio men are the king of childish behavior, in MY experience. Amputating a friendship by silent scorn is a brutal act of emotional violence, no matter how much they *need* to be alone.
Rationalizing it saying it's *in us* is total bullshit.
Rationalizing it saying it's *in us* is total bullshit.
It's gone past the point of "I want my alone time" It's becoming a huge habit of his and everytime I confront him BAM back to square one. Tired of giving excuses for someone who doesn't regard others feelings.
I think most people would understand "me time" if it's mentioned as such.
When some scorps disappear, they don't explain. One can't help but feel it may be personal...
It's not a matter of 'getting him' as much as lack of communication. Some need that communication.
When some scorps disappear, they don't explain. One can't help but feel it may be personal...
It's not a matter of 'getting him' as much as lack of communication. Some need that communication.
To OP I don't recommend giving the silent treatment back. You won't win.
I agree with Nerdy....but not cus I won't win (which I wont..but really..what would I *win*?). I agree because if I consider that amputation by silence to be the act of great unkindness and extreme self centerdness, then WHY would I want to stoop to that SAME behavior?
Thats what irrational, emotionally immature people do. I want to be happy in this life, not "ahead" of or "winning" something. If I became the same sort of prick he is then I dont get to call him out as a fuck twit, do I. And yes, for the record, I was amputated by a scorpio man I loved. I feel sorry for him now. I am a good woman and he lost a lovely friendship.
Thats what irrational, emotionally immature people do. I want to be happy in this life, not "ahead" of or "winning" something. If I became the same sort of prick he is then I dont get to call him out as a fuck twit, do I. And yes, for the record, I was amputated by a scorpio man I loved. I feel sorry for him now. I am a good woman and he lost a lovely friendship.
No there was nothing that I am aware of that occured for him to be angry with me. I thought that we were talking great and everything than all of a sudden he's just gone for weeks. Then a single message. Then gone for a month. I have tried to reach out but all I get is "oh sorry". And then anger on his side towards me. I am at my wits end because I feel like he hates me or that he has someone else around and pushing me away 
If the silent treatment back won't get them to come around what will? What if he never comes around again? Something in my gut tells me he is up to no good...
I would freak out if it was someone I had strong feelings for. It has to be made clear that sometimes the disappearing act isn't done on purpose, we just value our private time a lot.
Posted by LibraScales
What if he never comes around again? Something in my gut tells me he is up to no good...
Read your own words out loud. WHY in the world would you WANT him back?
I've never known a Scorpio to do a disappearing act on someone.
Every Scorpio I know communicates to thier partner that they need time alone.
This is a clear indication to me that you are talking about a person you want, rather than a person you have.
Every Scorpio I know communicates to thier partner that they need time alone.
This is a clear indication to me that you are talking about a person you want, rather than a person you have.
No I'm not doing the same thing back I'm asking if it would even be a good idea to give him a taste of his own medicine. Your not reading my post correctly. You would have also seen that I have tried to get in contact and communicate with him as well. We have been dating each other for more than a year and on top of that I consider him quite the good friend. No I'm not talking about somebody that I want instead of have...he asked me out..he pursued me. If you say that every scorpio you know has given communication when they will disappear then that only verifies to me that he's not mature enough to tell me what's going on and probably found someone else.
I have yet to meet a scorpio who communicates when they need to go awol. If you press us for an explanation we just get snappy. Best to just leave him alone. If he cares, hell be back. If not, you didnt waste your time waiting.
Skykomish- yup that seems to be the reaction that I am getting when I am asking him if something is wrong. He either says that I'm making him mad or he thinks that I'm giving him crap for something. He says I can message him but he doesn't talk very much compared to when he contacts me. And when I make the decision to contact him he just disappears again..should I contact him or just leave him to do his thing till he comes around and comes back to me?
Scorpio's aren't the only one's who do this. I do this all the time. Not because I am behaving badly but because I work a stressful job, work long odd hours and have enormous frustrations. When I get home I don't want to talk nonesense. i.e. Listening to a friend go on and on about a male stripper she fell in love with who isn't returning her call, which her grown ass should know better. But honestly my friends have had to come to my home and say, "OMG you live, can you come out to play?" I am doing better now, we schedule play dates.
It's best that adults behave like adults and ask the other person what's going on and try to initate contact or better yet give them space until they are ready to come out of their cave.
It's best that adults behave like adults and ask the other person what's going on and try to initate contact or better yet give them space until they are ready to come out of their cave.
Id leave him alone. Go out with your other friends. If youre not exclusive then maybe date other men. I know its probably not what you want to do, it is easy to get caught up in all that passionate intensity and lose perspective, but its a good idea. Like I said, scorpio wont let you leave for long if we care. Whatever it is hes doing has his attention, and he knows youre there so hes just taking it for granted. Walk away and we chase. Chase and we run. Damn self destructive traits. Relationships with scorpios are lile dancing.
ive have pulled a deliberate disappearing act on a scorpio and it works but u have to be just as cunning as he is because he can pull it right back on you without notice.
you would have better luck telling him outright what the problem is.
you would have better luck telling him outright what the problem is.
i have done it. they will NOT frantically try to contact you. in fact they will not contact you at all. when YOU contact them, they won't say a word about it and act as if nothing happened. they will be wondering and concerned but won't budge.
when i was ignoring my scorpio, he tried to contact me all the time but i denied him everytime until i was ready to talk to him. but adults shouldnt communicate like that.
I agree adults shouldn't communicate like this but options are very little when one refuses to communicate in a decent way! Well I'm not going out of my way now to contact him after he has disappeared and he still hasn't contacted me so I'm not sure if he's "chasing" me or not. Maybe he doesn't care anymore? Maybe he needs more time to be my himself before he comes back I'm not sure anymore it's really confusing and hurtful what he's doing. Last time I did talk to him he did say that he doesn't need to talk to me everyday...maybe he feels overwhelmed? I never said that he had to contact me everyday but of course it is concerning when someone disappears for weeks!
LibraScales, where did you meet this guy and how long have you've been friends?
I met him through a friend they worked at the same place together. And we've known each other for a few years.
Yes,im having the same experience with a Scorpio guy I met 4weeks ago now.I had to leave to come back to London to run part of my business back in Uk.Then I will return to the island, in the caribbean,Consequently he had to leave the island too a week later, for other reasons to do with his work and permit, he gone back to the US which he clearly didnt want to do and had not planned. We been in contact all the time up till a week ago, then he never called to say he laned, was alright, or arrived back in Florida safely. Nothing no contact now for whole week,no tex email or phone. I also dont have a contact number from him for the US. Everything was absolutely perfect bewteen us, though we hadnt known each other very long. But we hit it off amazingly from day 1, and breathtaking chemistry, intellect,and passion in all capacities. Now nothing!!?? Im as confused as anyone would be.I realise he has alot to deal with due to the problems with his work on the island etc.. so that is more than likely priority now. He said he would be back on the island in 2 weeks,to return to work the contract when the paperwork sorted. And im returning at the end April for my business too. He knows that, and said he is going back, and we can be together as we have something speacial to work on,and develop our relationship, he mentioned 2/3times that on the phone.But who knows mayb now he wont, and cos I cant contact him, as I have no number, I will never know. Ive emailed to say hope he ok , alive and well, and would be nice just to hear from him. But no pressure.Scorpios They are HOT and Cold ALL or NOTHING.IT WAS ALL when we were together now nothing at all. If you can handle this then its no problem, but its very confusing,as I wonder do I just do my own thing when , Im back on the island and continue with my running my business, or should i ride it out and see what happens?? I guess only time will tell. These Scorpios are very complex and time I figure is the only way to unravel this sign and its desires, needs and emotions .. should i be patient he is so nice ? And is it worth the wait?
Does anyone else here love paragraphs as much as I do?
Posted by Libradancer
Yes,im having the same experience with a Scorpio guy I met 4weeks ago now.I had to leave to come back to London to run part of my business back in Uk.Then I will return to the island, in the caribbean,Consequently he had to leave the island too a week later, for other reasons to do with his work and permit, he gone back to the US which he clearly didnt want to do and had not planned. We been in contact all the time up till a week ago, then he never called to say he laned, was alright, or arrived back in Florida safely. Nothing no contact now for whole week,no tex email or phone. I also dont have a contact number from him for the US. Everything was absolutely perfect bewteen us, though we hadnt known each other very long. But we hit it off amazingly from day 1, and breathtaking chemistry, intellect,and passion in all capacities. Now nothing!!?? Im as confused as anyone would be.I realise he has alot to deal with due to the problems with his work on the island etc.. so that is more than likely priority now. He said he would be back on the island in 2 weeks,to return to work the contract when the paperwork sorted. And im returning at the end April for my business too. He knows that, and said he is going back, and we can be together as we have something speacial to work on,and develop our relationship, he mentioned 2/3times that on the phone.But who knows mayb now he wont, and cos I cant contact him, as I have no number, I will never know. Ive emailed to say hope he ok , alive and well, and would be nice just to hear from him. But no pressure.Scorpios They are HOT and Cold ALL or NOTHING.IT WAS ALL when we were together now nothing at all. If you can handle this then its no problem, but its very confusing,as I wonder do I just do my own thing when , Im back on the island and continue with my running my business, or should i ride it out and see what happens?? I guess only time will tell. These Scorpios are very complex and time I figure is the only way to unravel this sign and its desires, needs and emotions .. should i be patient he is so nice ? And is it worth the wait?
How the hell is anyone suppose to get through all of these run-on thoughts?
Posted by Libradancer
Scorpios They are HOT and Cold ALL or NOTHING.IT WAS ALL when we were together now nothing at all.
If you can handle this then its no problem, but its very confusing,as I wonder do I just do my own thing ..... or should i ride it out and see what happens?? I guess only time will tell.
These Scorpios are very complex and time I figure is the only way to unravel this sign and its desires, needs and emotions .. should i be patient he is so nice ? And is it worth the wait?
That's all you needed to say to ask the question: Do I wait him out, or do I move along?
Ok so ive disappeared for up to 6 months and thought about the guy i cant let go of every day. You havent given it enough time.
then they're not true scorpios lol.
and who on earth tells anyone before disappearing.
and who on earth tells anyone before disappearing.
Posted by P-Angel
I've never known a Scorpio to do a disappearing act on someone.
Every Scorpio I know communicates to thier partner that they need time alone.
This is a clear indication to me that you are talking about a person you want, rather than a person you have.
i do the disappearing act from time to time because I need it for my sanity. BUT when I want to end things or not interested to see the person anymore, I will be honest let the person know and not leave him in the dark(if no betrayal involved)...because I don't want him to keep on contacting me.
to be honest, if a person disappeared on me, first i'd try to see if nothing serious happened to them, like injuries or sickness. i'd try to see if maybe they were swamped with work, or just needed some time to think or deal with things. i'd ask what was going on. after my attempts of communication, if i were still unanswered, i'd take it as disinterest and be gone. not to make excuses, but when we disappear, it's usually for a good reason. not because we want to be spiteful.
I'm kinda with P here.. But I've only 1 situation to work with. My Scorp guy never disappeared on me. After a few dates he backed away, but first sat me down and we discussed we weren't in the same place.. And then didn't see each other for about three weeks. He then contacted me to get together.
(Well, we had a good 2 years but still unsure if we are in the same place. :p)
I often wonder if these scorps are backing off in order to hint that they aren't interested. And even if they were, how could you tolerate such disappearances anyways? I'd stop contacting the guy.
(Well, we had a good 2 years but still unsure if we are in the same place. :p)
I often wonder if these scorps are backing off in order to hint that they aren't interested. And even if they were, how could you tolerate such disappearances anyways? I'd stop contacting the guy.
Additional thought:
Maybe he does/did disappear and I just don't notice. (Pisces love for me-time) :p
Or maybe it's his Cancer moon that kept him close
Maybe he does/did disappear and I just don't notice. (Pisces love for me-time) :p
Or maybe it's his Cancer moon that kept him close
Posted by Sasori701
to be honest, if a person disappeared on me, first i'd try to see if nothing serious happened to them, like injuries or sickness
yes, this is the hard part
Posted by LibraScales
No there was nothing that I am aware of that occured for him to be angry with me. I thought that we were talking great and everything than all of a sudden he's just gone for weeks. Then a single message. Then gone for a month. I have tried to reach out but all I get is "oh sorry". And then anger on his side towards me. I am at my wits end because I feel like he hates me or that he has someone else around and pushing me away
At the first instance of disappearing for weeks for no reason doesn't make sense. But ok, first instance: I'd be concerned and when he came back and I heard him out I'd let him know to NEVER do that again. Second instance, he wouldn't have to worry about coming back to me because I wouldn't be there for him. He'd have to find me and put in double time to win me back or else I would consider myself better off without him.
This is giving me a lot of insight on my situation. Hits very close to home.
Go ahead! Play your game with a Scorpio. You will lose him/her in the end.
Congrats for being strategic!
Congrats for being strategic!
Posted by FUM
Go ahead! Play your game with a Scorpio. You will lose him/her in the end.
Congrats for being strategic!
I agree. At the end of the day, the scorpio is smarter and will always have its victory.. Even if one cares or not.
Yeah... you can't really do the disappearing act on Scorpio... and you're required to check in from time to time when THEY do it.
If YOU disappear on THEM... well... then the story ends there... so you have to decide now if it is a deal-breaker for you because it WILL happen again... always at the exact point in which YOU THINK everything is going great !
I heard once from an atrologer that Aries fights the wars... Scorpios are the ones who plan them. The only way to out-wit them is to catch them off-guard... they need less than two minutes to turn it around... so it is best to hit them and run.
If YOU disappear on THEM... well... then the story ends there... so you have to decide now if it is a deal-breaker for you because it WILL happen again... always at the exact point in which YOU THINK everything is going great !
I heard once from an atrologer that Aries fights the wars... Scorpios are the ones who plan them. The only way to out-wit them is to catch them off-guard... they need less than two minutes to turn it around... so it is best to hit them and run.
Hmmmm... seems like the OP disappeared in March ! 
This has been an interesting read, thanks. 
I had this happen with a female friend a few months ago. We were best friends when we were still living in the same city but after I moved back to my home country we got into a fight. We talked things through and she keeps saying everything is alright but I know it's not. She does seem happy to hear from me when I contact her though responding to any other questions seems to be a problem.
I don't really understand why she is acting like she does but that's probably Scorpio to you.
Ah well, life goes on. Her birthday is coming up so that will be one of the final times I will contact her. I have always had a feeling I would lose contact with her in the long run but would meet her again in a few years.
I had this happen with a female friend a few months ago. We were best friends when we were still living in the same city but after I moved back to my home country we got into a fight. We talked things through and she keeps saying everything is alright but I know it's not. She does seem happy to hear from me when I contact her though responding to any other questions seems to be a problem.
I don't really understand why she is acting like she does but that's probably Scorpio to you.
Ah well, life goes on. Her birthday is coming up so that will be one of the final times I will contact her. I have always had a feeling I would lose contact with her in the long run but would meet her again in a few years.
Posted by iRunthisTOWN
it matters how things left off tho.
for example if there was a disagreement & if i still want the person in my life then id contact them after a while to see if theyre still upset. if they are then ok bye i did my part.
if the disagreement made me lose interest in the person. then thats it.
until u prove to me somehow i was wrong & that ur worth the effort
The disagreement was about her thinking I was in love with her even though she had a boyfriend. I've always been clear that I just wanted to be friends with her but it doesn't help when friends of her tell her I could be or comments about how we are sucha cute couple. :/
Posted by ellessque
She probably misses you and it's just easier to pretend you don't exist.
I know, that's harsh.
there are people in my life that I think fondly of, but I know they don't belong in my day to day because it wouldn't be healthy for me.
so, an occasional "hello, how are you" is nice to know that they are still breathing...but outside of that, I'll just distance myself.click to expand
That was my guess as well. A little explanation would have saved me a couple of months of heartache though. But I understand everyone deals with it in their own way.
According to Linda Goodman's Love Signs, the Fish is the master of the disappearance:
"Look at it this way. If you saw a Nature Scorpion in some sort of contest with a Nature fish, which of the two could move faster and more unpredictably? You'd rather use the Scorpio Eagle as a symbolic example? Fine. You're on!
Which can disappear more quickly, without leaving a sign or a trace - a fish in the water, or an eagle in the sky? Look. The fish is gone but the eagle well, see that speck over there behind that far cloud? Use your binoculars. Now you see the speck, right? Don't try to use your binoculars to spot the fish. Binoculars don't work in "the Deep." ~ LG
"Look at it this way. If you saw a Nature Scorpion in some sort of contest with a Nature fish, which of the two could move faster and more unpredictably? You'd rather use the Scorpio Eagle as a symbolic example? Fine. You're on!
Which can disappear more quickly, without leaving a sign or a trace - a fish in the water, or an eagle in the sky? Look. The fish is gone but the eagle well, see that speck over there behind that far cloud? Use your binoculars. Now you see the speck, right? Don't try to use your binoculars to spot the fish. Binoculars don't work in "the Deep." ~ LG
Posted by ellessque
I know it's pretty irrational and we certainly don't like it when it's pulled on us.
I'm sorry you had to go through that
Thanks. I'm getting over it but it has only been 6 months with the occasional contact.
Posted by iRunthisTOWN
i can only guess & say she probly doesnt want u to intervene with her relationship so shes trying to push u away as nicely as possible, its very hard to be nice at that point.click to expand
Personally I don't want nice, I want the truth. There is something she is not telling me but I know better than to pry for it.
I can think of a thousand different reasons but without any feedback I have no idea which one to pick.
Maybe I should have made her angry to get everything out of our systems. Kind of hard to do when you are living apart though. She would be more likely to just shut me out completely.
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