Relationship advice discussion...

What do you guys think of this advice from a relationship book. Does it make sense? Does it help to shine some insight on things? Or is it a nice pile of b.s.? Let's discuss...

Mistake #2: Being More Committed To Protecting
Your "Ego" Than To Your Partner

We've all heard the saying, "You can be right
or you can be happy."

So true.

We've all known people who want so badly
to be right they end up not only right but DEAD
RIGHT - with a dead relationship or no relationship.

So many of us are afraid of being vulnerable,
fearing that if we show our soft side we'll get
crushed.

The irony is that it's the opposite - when we're
vulnerable, we let our defenses down and let the
other person in. It disarms them and makes them
feel closer to us.

When you and another person are locked in
opposing positions, if one of you would acknowledge
the other by saying something like, "I see it differently
but I understand that you don't," instead of making
them feel wrong, it would allow you both to be entitled
to your points of view without becoming so divided.

No one has to win and no one has to lose.

In my work with couples I find that when one
person is willing to change what they've been
doing and lead the relationship in a more positive
direction, then a miraculous thing happens - the
other person changes, too!

This happens even when only one of the two
does any "work" on the relationship. This amazes
people.

Initially they resist me, saying, "Why should I
have to be the one to WORK on the relationship?
Why should I do anything if they won't?"

They're so busy "keeping score" of who's
doing what - terrified they'll feel a fool, worried
they'll knock themselves out on behalf of the rela-
tionship only to have their partner mock them or
"make a doormat" of them.

While this might happen if their partner is a
sadistic narcissist, most of the time what happens
is miraculous!

Just by being willing to bring more goodwill
first, their partner happily responds in kind.

Do you see what good news this is? You don't
HAVE to be the one to do the work - you GET to
be! You have the power to change your relationship
ALL BY YOURSELF whether they're willing to
lift a finger or not. You don't have to wait for them!

What a relief!

When people are committed to their ego and
are "waiting" for their partner to do something
first, it tends to be a long, cold wait.

***You have the power to change your relationship
ALL BY YOURSELF whether they're willing to
lift a finger or not. You don't have to wait for them✨**

Unfortunately, I tried this, didn't work in my marriage. 😢

i think it takes two people to make a relationship work. how's the rest of it

Well, it seems to me the author is saying it takes one and a person can do it alone. I don't agree. I agree it takes 2.

more aries bashing🙂 it is not about aries here...it's about every sign roxi lmao
i totally agree that it takes 2 people. maybe, it'd sound better if she said that 1 person should make the 1st step towards imporoving instead 1 person making all the improvments. what do you guys think?