Saying Happy Birthday to someone you used to date?

So someone I used to date birthday is coming up in 2 weeks. We dated for 6 months, then things went downhill, and we tried being friends but he realized I moved on, like he did and he completely cut me off. Then we later talked and decided to not be friends but to be cordial if we ever saw one another in person. Ever since, we ran into each other a few times and we would only make eye contact but never talked to one another. We have lots of mutual friends too.

Anyways, his birthday is coming up and I have been thinking about saying Happy Birthday out of respect. But I am not sure whether I should even do it, I am clueless to how he would react. He is a Scorp Sun, Sag Moon.

Is this something I should try or should I not? I will not try to hang out but just a simple "Happy Birthday, I hope everything is going well!"

Posted by Dreamyboy
Personally, I'd say nothing. Sounds like your friend needs time to heal if he only makes eye contact with you without saying a word. Well... Actually... To be more realistic, since we're both Pisces.. your not saying anything in return because of respect of a healing ex and he's not saying anything in return because he's waiting for you to give in first.



If you two agreed to not be friends, what's the point of saying happy birthday? It's unnecessary.

Honestly, I think you are right. I was just considering it, because I am not the type to hold any grudges or to hold any negative energy towards someone. I tend to get over things rather quickly, and would prefer to talk it out than just hold everything inside.

i always say happy birthday to guys i used to date (within reason- if we ended ok).

but one is an aquarius and the other is a taurus. neither of them were too attached to me i don’t think, so it doesn’t matter.

i agree you shouldn’t get his hopes up. in my case, these guys weren’t interested in commitment. i tend to find very...emotionally unavailable men, so they’re not phased by me messaging them on their birthday or even to check in on them. i fall in love easily, and my love never really dies... i think they know this and accept that being completely separated would be too hard. i think it hurts me more than it hurts them when i say happy birthday to them, but i always want them to feel remembered and loved even if they don’t or won’t do the same for me.

that being said, if he’s a scorpio, he may feel similar to me. it might be a bit painful for him, because overall we're a very attached sign even if we don’t show it.

Posted by degenerate_ingenue
i always say happy birthday to guys i used to date (within reason- if we ended ok).

but one is an aquarius and the other is a taurus. neither of them were too attached to me i don’t think, so it doesn’t matter.

i agree you shouldn’t get his hopes up. in my case, these guys weren’t interested in commitment. i tend to find very...emotionally unavailable men, so they’re not phased by me messaging them on their birthday or even to check in on them. i fall in love easily, and my love never really dies... i think they know this and accept that being completely separated would be too hard. i think it hurts me more than it hurts them when i say happy birthday to them, but i always want them to feel remembered and loved even if they don’t or won’t do the same for me.

that being said, if he’s a scorpio, he may feel similar to me. it might be a bit painful for him, because overall we're a very attached sign even if we don’t show it.

Yeah, that makes sense too. I don't want to cause any harm or give him mixed messages, especially because he was extremely hurt when he found out that I was talking to someone else. He never admitted to it, but because he cut me off out of nowhere, it was obvious. He kinda expected me to not move on, though he would tell me to move on and that he is talking to someone new, which resulted in me moving on lol.

I think because I got over it, I was considering it. We were really good friends,had lots of fun and was highly compatible since we had this very natural connection. Us agreeing to not be friends anymore was very hard for me at first, but after some time I was able to move on from it.

No there's no need. The only reason why it would make sense to say "Happy Birthday" is if you were trying to reopen communication. If you're not looking to do that, let it lie.