ScOrp Storms Out. Need opinion.

I fall into a passionate relationship with cancer and things go smoothly for two, that's right, two whole months. Long distance by the way so this scorp's jealousy and suspicions are easily aroused, as cancer is in extreme need for emotional attention. I drive to vegas for the weekend and as my cancer sleeps one night, I can't help but glance at her phone to see who she's been always texting with her back turned. I read a lengthy convo of her's with another man named Andre who she's been planning to have a pajama party with. In the convo, Andre says their pajamas are a little inappropriate for the bar so they should have it at his or her house. Andre has a girlfriend by the way. Though cancer did make Andre aware she was in a relationship with me in the convo, Andre ignored this and asked to hang this weekend(the weekend I showed up). Cancer, to my disgust, responds with "Ok then, I will just tell him to come next weekend then," disregarding the long hours we spent texting how we long to see each other again given our long distance apart and limited time we usually have on visits. The following morning after passionate love-making, cancer once again texts with her back turned and tucks the phone underneath dirty laundry and hops in the shower. Again, I glance at the phone to see Andre's text "so are we still gonna hang today" and my cancer's response was "hey pajama boy." Infuriated, I question her on having a pajama party as she gets out the shower and she realizes I've gone through her phone. She begins to protest that "it was just a joke" as I storm out and hit the road. She texts me a copy of a new conversation with him explaining it was a joke and that he's a friend/ex-coworker she hasn't seen in a year . Is that how a woman jokes in a relationship? Is that how a woman talks to another man, in the presence of the man she is supposedly deeply in love with? The clues were all too obvious for this scorp as I quickly ended the relationship. Cancer claims it was my mistake, my loss. As true with all cancers, when confronted they are quick to defend themselves to the death when innocent in an explosive reaction and intense fit. My cancer was calm and seemed to brush it off which hurt deeply. How typical is it of a cancer to commit to such lies and be so disloyal in such betrayal? I'm guessing the long distance weakened her out of the seething desire for sexual and emotional attention? More background info if needed.

Two months, and deeply in love, I'm unsure. Perhaps infatuated.

I think you may have over reacted w/ dumping her. It may have been a bit innapropiate to be flirty with the dude- im sure i would have been pissed off too if were in your shoes. I have a possesive venus-in-taurus, but i also wonder if i have a right to be possessive of others... Since that usually only leads to eventual resentment in relationships.

You also shouldn't have been snooping her shit.. I had an ex boyfriend that I caught snooping my phone SO many times. It was REALLY fucking annoying.

Dazed scorp - I've got alot on my mind coming out of this crap.

FemWild - exactly! regardless of how long she's been friends with this guy, how on earth could she say that given the fact that we're in a relationship? Is it just me or does texting someone "pajama boy" in reference to a sleepover have sexual connotation?

LouLore - We've had a long history I've known her since 05' seeing her go thru relationships. She always wanted my heart but I steered clear, detecting her neediness to "be in a relationship" for the sake of not being lonely. I was the one she would share everything with, we connected at every level as water signs usually do with this hyper-intuitive phenomenon allowing us to sense each others emotional state. Since then, I felt she had matured so I finally gave her my heart. Long story short, the progression of events up to this point led to us falling in love so quickly.

Looking through her phone was my reaction to her consistent texting all day which is fine, but when she began to turn her back it let me know that there was something to hide which wreaks havoc on scorp suspicions. Like I said, how can that possibly be a joke when there was convo that documented the plans? Regardless, is it just me or would it drive any man crazy if they found that their woman was calling another man "pajama boy." My issue is, she should have told me point blank that she was planning to have a pajama party with another guy. But she didn't...maybe because that's inappropriate in a relationship!

MzSag - she was too quick-minded as cancers usually are. that mixed with living in vegas and myself living 4 hours away seemed to be the deadly combo!

aliennation - don't get it backwards, I only see my sign as a map to my instincts. Who I am as an individual is who I choose to be therefore I do not blame my sign for anything. checking her phone was a reaction to my instinct which I am not proud of as it was a loss of control on my part, yet in this case I am glad I did because she was doing something horrible and not telling me about it. I'm no psycho...but I'm also not stupid.

MzSag - Glad you see where I'm coming from.

aliennation - Love is just too sacred amongst scorp men, I'm one of the few to admit it being a momma's boy and becoming one with my emotions which helped remove my fear of expressing them. So if there's anything you need to know about your scorp guy I gotcha covered! He wants to possess you spiritually, physically, etc. so any contact with anyone but him is a perceived threat by all means. Once again I separate the two, it is his scorp instinct to have impulsive desires to have control over who you interact with to avoid interfering with the intense emotional connection he has with you. But it is his individual choice to act on those instincts, bringing out the ugly scorp traits of jealousy and suspicion. Scorps will love you to death with an unwavering confidence, but its terror to the soul when there are other people in the picture, even if they're not in the picture so to speak. Why? the same reason every other sign is known for their own distinctive traits, some universal/astrological constant.

Why a cancer would do this to me? I'm clueless. From doing homework and having much experience, cancers are loyal to the end. But I've also grown aware that out of the water sign trio, they experience emotion on a another level. Everything that hurt her made her tear up, which I'm not bashing because we all cry, but it was to the point where anyone in a relationship would notice it. From experience I know that cancers are easily flooded with emotion and can develop a very needy syndrome, where there has to be someone present to coax these powerful emotional outbursts. Not saying all cancers are like this again, only ones who act on the instinct. As I read in other forums of past experiences other people had with cheating cancers, it has something to do with this desire for emotional fulfillment. I sensed that desperation in her since we were so far away...I just knew. I know for next time to express the issue first before acting on impulse.

I don't think you overreacted at all, I mean, if you've been together for only two months and she's already flirting with another guy, then she can't be trusted and it'll just get worse the longer you're with her. She probably was flirting, not cuz she genuinely likes the guy, but cuz she felt better having a backup of some sort, maybe she's insecure and needs that extra attention to feel attractive or something.

No offense cancers but...I had an ex that was a cancer (I'm a scorpio) and had the same situation, he would hold a lie 'til his deathbed, even if I caught his lie. If you don't have trust in a relationship, then it'll never last or work out.

I have an amazing relationship with a scorpio now, we love each other equally and are equally obssessed with each other and possessive. We possess each other's souls. LOL At least, that's what we always say to each other. It's been 3 years now and we're still deeply in love on an almost spiritual level. We've had our moments of fighting, lying, and flirting, but the only time either of us have had difficulties with flirting is if we felt like we weren't getting enough attention from each other.

Being with another scorpio is like being bipolar LOL. 😛 The bad times are absolutely terrible, to the point of near violence, but the good times are ridiculously amazing, nothing in the world can compare to the good times. It's a tradeoff, but I find it incredibly worth it. I say that now though cuz I'm going through a fairly good time with my scorp, we work extra hard to maintain good communication and a connection seeing as he's deployed for a year.

aliennation - haha I'm good, mama bear is in check, and yes trust is key to LDRs as I've now experienced my first and hopefully my last. Learning to accept my partner flirting with other men just goes against the degree of intimacy I uphold in a relationship with someone I feel so deeply affectionate towards. I just want to avoid ever having to deal with something of this magnitude ever again. Glad you brought up your moon because I never really paid much attention to it, but with a moon in aries and sun in scorp I feel pretty balanced between the two as some of our Martian influences overlap. Let me know whenev I'm an open book and would be more than happy to entertain any questions you have.

Thepixilator - yea the more I think about it, the more dignified I feel towards how I responded. Even though I gave her every ounce of love I had, she felt the need to compromise it for a night with another man.

As you described, pinning this cancer for her wrongdoing was like trying to corner a rabbit. As I have also read in other forums, some but not all, cancers are very agile in running circles around you with excuses. When I confronted her she instantaneously reverted to denial saying "she would never do anything to hurt me or mess us up" when the evidence was there point blank, even pointing the finger at me saying "I hope you come to your senses," yet still, the evidence was there point blank. Its terrifying to see people like this, its like a mental complex or disease, makes you wonder what is really going on in their heads.

I'm glad to hear scorp on scorp relationships actually work. I've read so many negatives on compatibility with our own as we tend to be too similar and butt heads. My best friend is a scorp, and we are like twin brothers with our thoughts and actions. Our disagreements were vicious but upon forgiveness our relationship only grew stronger which is an often overlooked scorp trait of transformation. Scorps are assigned to the house of death and destruction metaphorically signifying our ability to transcend our former selves. If a scorp is capable of overcoming his/her impulsive nature we transform into our positive sign represented by the phoenix, which characterizes our nature to live, love and grow.

Having a partner just as loyal and passionate as myself would be truly rewarding in a relationship. Communication would def be the main focus as our more reserved/independent side becomes a factor. I hope the best for you two!

I think you had a valid reason to do this: it's ok to text, however the fact that she's telling the other guy he'll postpone the week-end with you is enough of a red flag.
Scorpios, especially the ones with Mercury in Scorp, can smell when something's wrong much faster and more intensely than others; they react intensely, leaving the others out in wonder. It isn't that they don't have a point, but people are just not equipped with the same perceptions. Then, being a Scorp (or a Mercury Scorp) comes with the reverse when life plays tricks on you to show how the loss of mental power/control can happen in an instant tbrough delusional thinking and paranoia. Communication (Mercury/Gemini/3rd house) gone bad. It's crucial for a Scorpio to sit back and try to distinguish between the two situations, and you posting here shows exactly the same instinct. Try trusting yourself more and revealing less untill you're sure, I guess? So that you hurt yourself less and enjoy your mind more 🙂

Antibling can I punch you in the face. 😄

Posted by DazedScorp
I've already read one Wall-o-text tonight...

Not reading another.

Wtf is wrong with you people?!?!?!?

SEE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT !!!!!

So there dimano..

OP,

I think maybe I was just put off because of my hatred of phone snooping, lol. I do understand where you're coming from in a sense, especially after you gave a little more info about the situation. Like I said though, I just have my own issues understanding how much possesiveness is okay in a relationship, ya know? I'm a fairly possessive/jealous person myself when it comes to my (hypothetical) boyfriend, and often wonder what crossing the line is as far as wanting a partner to behave this way/that way.

I do know a cancer female that jumps fom relationship to relationship though, like, with 0 days in between and its just... Pretty gross. Especially since its plastered all over her Facebook page for everyone to see. She clearly can't stand to be alone.

Impulsv - trifling to say the least, she will get what's coming to her.

Let*It*Be - yes, and I'm so thankful for the strong intuitive instincts under our sign. It wasn't my goal to be sneaky. It is our nature to be reserved and observant, in this case I was hyper-vigilant making it impossible for even this swift cancer to escape the radar. I'm in the process of getting a hold of this guy's girlfriend I found on facebook to let her know he is scum, no worries haha.

Reconstructing_a_Leo - you couldn't have put it better with "Scorpios, especially the ones with Mercury in Scorp, can smell when something's wrong much faster and more intensely than others; they react intensely, leaving the others out in wonder. It isn't that they don't have a point, but people are just not equipped with the same perceptions." Perhaps why our sign is the most misunderstood, its no magic trick, just a piercing gut instinct. I've learned to control intense reaction on this arduous journey with this pain in the ass sign. I'm calm and laid-back, but my destructive instincts emerged in this event because it was the first time I've dealt with a potential cheater. I'm glad I had the experience solely for the purpose of learning more about myself, and how to respond if there is a next time God forbid.

Ladies, if you're in a relationship with a scorp, do yourself a favor and let him love you. It's all he will do because it is all he knows how to do. If he's not communicating well, help him improve and stay by his side because underneath he is restraining an ocean of love for you he hasn't learned to express yet. Most importantly...if you plan a pajama party with another man, please let him know. He may seethe in his own jealousy but if he is a mature scorp he will recognize honesty and get over it. Just a heads up 😉

You seem to have good scorp advice, I hope you stick around this board! There aren't enough scorpio guys that post regularly. :p

Storming from life incident to life incident seems to be the typical Scorpio pattern.

Then of course, once the Scorpio has recovered from the emotional outburst, they become rational again.

Until the next life episode ... then they are off on a tangent again.



:::: shrugs ::::


Nature of the beast ... and also why Scorpios always find themselves without a partner. People actually want their partner to be calm and rational = the opposite of Scorpio.


I guess this is why Taurus is thier polar opposite ... Taurus is very emotionally collected and would rather think than react irrationally like Scorpio.

^ 😄 neva been without someone p they wait in line for this supposed emotional girl hoping for a slip up...
I've never scared anyone away w/ my passion or intensity others crave it. people can't let go... past luvs, friends, hopefuls etc... why? we can make someone feel lk they r the only person in the world, cuz we only let a select few into our shelldom, it's an amazing kingdom/queendom where we treat u lk gold & bestow luv and adoration upon u. I'm not sure if any other sign can love as "deeply"

as for bulls two of my fav's in rl r Taurus. one was suicidal and medicated for years. the other has been in therapy and highly medicated for years...two of the most brilliant people I know unable to handle lifes ups & downs...do I think it's sign related? idk, but I don't know any scorps in those positions...

op I'm sorry this occurred trust is very important to scorps 😢 scorps & crabs relate very well but can also wound each other deeply (we r shelled for a reason) my only advice is to trust ur instinct & intuition it's rarely wrong

wish u happiness

Posted by Femininitywild
"Is that how a woman jokes in a relationship? Is that how a woman talks to another man, in the presence of the man she is supposedly deeply in love with?".
The answer is no, and no. It wasn't as if she was just talking to him about the weather, she was discussing plans to go behind your back and see the other man, to have a "pajama party". Sounds to me like you did the right think by walking out then and there, especially if she's just brushing it off like that. How inconsiderate and decietful of her. You seem like a man who takes loyalty in a relationship very seriously, and you deserve the same kind of devotion right back. Nobody should talk like that to another person while they're in a relationship, bottom line is..it's just sneaky, shady, and not right. You must be very hurt because of all of this; but smile at the fact that you can go to sleep every night knowing you're not being lied to.

I agree with this, but at the same time I think you fell a little too hard. It's only been 2 months. Normally it takes a person 3 months of dating them to find out their true colors...well.. guess it took you two.

I have a cancer sister and this sounds like something she would do. Only most of the times they end up just digging themselves into a hole. It's okay tho...they seem like fun for a while, but trust me, a cancer is nothing you wanna stay with forever. For too moody. You never know what you'll get.

You made the right decision. I applaud you. It's girls like that who make the good guys in this world sour :/

Posted by happykitsune

You made the right decision. I applaud you. It's girls like that who make the good guys in this world sour :/

Amen.

Her being sun cancer doesn't have to mean that two of you will be compatible on a emotional level at all. It all comes down to her and yours moon and venus signs for love, and mercury for communication. She can be sun cancer, moon libra, venus gemini and she is going to be big flirt and that would make her more compatible with air signs that with water signs. So you knowing about cancers maybe can't be useful when it comes to her at all. You have to do her natal chart and yours and then you would know more.

Loulore - I appreciate it. My advice descends from much self-examination and experience. As for the other scorps on the board, we all are at different stages. I've met many scorp men who exhibit the close-minded reactive traits making them unable to accumulate wisdom. It may come in time for some, but other scorps who are constantly exposed to hostility are more more prone to aggression. I'm thankful to be at the stage where I can humbly look at myself in the mirror everyday and acknowledge the value of growth and understanding over instinct. Not putting myself on a pedestal in comparison again, we scorps are at different stages.

P-Angel - I appreciate your response as well. Although true in some respect, it is a common generalization. I know many scorps who are in long term relationships and are doing well. I've seen emotionally attached bulls storm from one life incident to the next. Once again it depends on how mature an individual grows within their sign and what stressors are present. In my early stages I was rebellious in nature, which could be argued about anyone in their youth. Coming out of the military, I knew scorps older than myself who would present their stingers exclusively. Hostility wasn't common amongst supervisors in my branch, but I was keenly aware that the ones who were scorps had a problem with these emotional outbursts...yet some didn't. A very hostile environment indeed, that in fact raised my destructive instincts, but I never acted upon them. There is no ruler to truly measure one's personality. In conclusion, it's best to understand that your sign can be overpowering, but it will never determine your level of rationality or individual fate.

eden2012 - Trust is priceless. She tried to take advantage of me which is a thought that corrupts my very soul. Giving her my pure scorp love...blahh. It was four days ago, but I am resilient and I will forgive. A deep wound indeed but I am ready to heal.

PlutoVenus - The attraction was so magnetic. She was a moon virg, venus gem, while I'm moon aries, venus sag. Sun has always seemed more powerful in my experiences, but perhaps that was an area I've given too much credit to and should pay more attention to the whole spectrum.

I love all the Cancer haters haha Cast not the first stone possibly——————? I'll keep it at that, since it's the holidays and all..trying to keep with the holiday spirit 😉

With my forgiving heart I've decided to talk to my cancer about the whole issue. She's explained that the conversation between her and this guy was sarcastic. Her and I joke sarcastically with each other and with our friends to the point of ridiculousness, so I can see that aspect of her argument. Yet, why would you even waste the time or energy to text something like that which held no meaning and at the same time was such a screaming offense to the loving relationship she possessed with her partner? She seems extremely hurt by my actions and vows to never give a man her heart again. She also said "if you don't believe me, then don't talk to me anymore." Now I'm simply confused. Ok so she's telling the truth, but it eats me alive how someone could have a conversation with someone other than their s/o that was clearly crossing the line. The bottom line is, if you're hiding it, then you don't want your partner to know, and if you didn't tell your partner it's because you knew it would be hurtful right? Therefore reducing this equation using logic, you're guilty in the sense that you purposely didn't tell me because you knew it would hurt me, so in essence, why would you bother saying it all then right? Regardless of my argument, she insists that she did nothing wrong. How? Her argument in a nutshell is like saying "well yeah I said I was gonna tell you to come next weekend so I can hang with this other guy instead, and yeah I said I was gonna have a pajama party at either his or my house, and then when he said 'hi' the next morning I said 'hey pajama boy,' yeah I did all that...but I was being sarcastic!" What in the treetrunk is that?!! I am a scorp with a big heart, which is why I humbled myself and entertained the thought that she was joking but overall wanted her to know that I forgave her for what she said to this guy. I put myself in her shoes and I understood her point of view. I asked her to put herself in my shoes and she's like "you should have trusted me!" which I take the blame for goin through her phone blahh, but how could she not even honor my side of the argument? When I told her "what if I texted another woman those words" her response was "I did nothing wrong, I have nothing to apologize for." How can this cancer be so cold and senseless? After all this, she honestly strikes me as someone who is infatuated with being a "victim," and in her delusion, she is blind-sighted and cannot confess to any wrongdoing. Is friendship even worth it?

Posted by ScOrpioPriNCe
With my forgiving heart I've decided to talk to my cancer about the whole issue. She's explained that the conversation between her and this guy was sarcastic. Her and I joke sarcastically with each other and with our friends to the point of ridiculousness, so I can see that aspect of her argument.

That doesn't sound like sarcasm to me, it sounds like she is so needy of validation that one guy's undivided attention somehow isn't enough, she wants it from others too, and is willing to go behind your back to get it. Maybe in her heart she never meant to follow through, but what she said was crossing the line and she let the other guy believe she wanted to follow through ... clearly disrespecting you. The thing about needy, attention-starved people is they have low self-esteem, and want validation from multiple people. So if one guy thinks she is awesome -- even if that guy is amazing, perfect, ideal -- it's not enough. She needs to know what that other guy thinks. And THAT other guy, and THAT other guy. For people with low-self-esteem, 1000 people can be lavishing praise on them but they are always gonna need to know what #1,001 thinks.

Regardless of my argument, she insists that she did nothing wrong. How? Her argument in a nutshell is like saying "well yeah I said I was gonna tell you to come next weekend so I can hang with this other guy instead, and yeah I said I was gonna have a pajama party at either his or my house, and then when he said 'hi' the next morning I said 'hey pajama boy,' yeah I did all that...but I was being sarcastic!" What in the treetrunk is that?!!

click to expand

That is a really, really lame defense of an indefensible action. She doesn't want to own what she did, so she is making excuses and downplaying it... Red flag. Look, even if she truly believes in her heart that she did nothing wrong, she is ignoring the fact that this is something that would legitimately bother people, and that it is bothering you. Her refusal to try and see things your way is a sign of selfishness and immaturity.

Sarcastically suggesting a guy she'll tell her bf to come next week-end? weird, have yet to imagine the context but whatever. The fact that she's not understanding (or pretends she doesn't) the hurt and confusion those texts have caused you is a bit off.
My 2 cents: she was almost caught. Ideally you could have waited to see if she does ask you to only come the next week-end, as to translate your valid suspicions.
Regardless of everything, the unfortunate result is the loss of trust

Boy, she is manipulating you like a puppet. Why you are even communicatin with her is beyond me, much less considering a friendship. When a person is too closely attached to a problem, to close to the window, they cannot see the whole picture.

She got caught, you are hurt, she will say what she needs to in order to keep you where she wants you. And you so much want to believe her words, so you dont have to let her go. But...this pig is wearing an ugly color of lipstick. Im so sorry this is hurting you, but her own words in those texts speak loud and clear. Believe what you SEE, not what she is trying to sell you,.

I asked her to put herself in my shoes and she's like "you should have trusted me!" which I take the blame for goin through her phone

Look, you smelled smoke, you went looking for the fire, and HEY you found it. I love it when people are perfectly OK having a significant other with whom they share bodily fluids, and life secrets, and valuable possessions, and financial information, and all sorts of important shit that, if abused or mistreated, could damage you or ruin your life or KILL you ... but goddammit significant other, how DARE you violate my PRIVACY by looking at my TEXTS! And I am not talking about obsessively snooping for no good reason, cuz that IS a violation ... I am talking about suspecting someone of abusing your trust and looking for evidence. Know what? Every time I have had suspicions and gone looking...every time ...my suspicions were confirmed, and BOY did the guy ALWAYS get so offended and angry that I went into his PRIVATE! STUFF! (and busted him creeping behind my back). Me? I'm an open book, if I am sharing all those personal things with someone, that person is welcome to go through my texts, my social accounts, my emails, my purse, I have nothing to hide from him ... and if I do, shame on me.
You had your suspicions and looked at her phone ... and you discovered her true colors early on, and probably saved yourself a lot more grief and heartbreak down the road.

Is friendship even worth it?

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Deep down you want more than friendship with her ... so any friendship would probably lead you back into giving her another chance. You are a Scorpio and what you need is loyalty and trustworthiness that you never have to question. You need a woman who is confident enough in herself that she does not want or need validation from any other man. You need a woman who will be so fulfilled by YOUR attention that she will recognize how stupid it would be to fuck everything up by acting inappropriately with someone else. You need a woman who would say to any guy who came on to her, "fuck you for thinking I am the type of skank who would cheat on my man." You need to feel secure in her loyalty, otherwise it will eat you up inside and you will find yourself constantly checking her phone, emails, Facebook, for signs of her creeping and you do NOT want to be that guy. Women who are totally trustworthy are out there, but Ms. Crab is not one of them.

Let*It*Be - That's exactly my point, it's the simple principle of not saying it period because she wouldn't have done it front of me. It baffles me that her first reaction is to point the finger at me, I guess its like an automatic self-defense mechanism as I've seen many people do this before. When confronted with such an ugly deed, guilt becomes so dreadful to the soul that the individual resorts to the blame game.

AutumnalChick - Glad to find that genuine scorp connect; you can see the issue. Scorps only act on the inherent desire to expose truth when the circumstances are exact. Great analogy, where there's smoke there's fire right? Sometimes you have to kick the door in to go fight that fire...yes you kicked the door in, but lets not be simple-minded...you have located the tree-trunking fire. The fire being truth in this case. Every single time I have acted on my powerful instincts, the truth has always been revealed before me just as you mentioned...every time. People like to blame scorps because sometimes we are martyrs for truth, but it means that much to us. Deep down, yes I do feel the inclination to take her back but like you guessed, she has extremely low self-esteem so this behavior will just serve as the beginning of a trend in order to feed her desire for validation. I need a trustworthy woman indeed, this one has yet to mature...anybody know where I can find any?

BigGirlPanties - I'm glad you said that because it reveals the exact opposite. Only I can manipulate myself by subscribing to suggestion. I've done very deep sub-conscious studies and recently began my revolution on the fact that not one soul has power over me, only me. Simple logic right? Yet this is the curse of humanity. Instead of granting ourselves power over our every thought and action, we give it to people and words, leading to the twisted society we live in today. She's trying to manipulate me by using our intimacy to justify her innocence, but I know better and I see right through it so that handles that issue. My concern now is releasing the power I have associated with our intimacy in my mind by forgiving her. As ugly as the situation is, I want to forgive, solely to rise into my humble phoenix.

Reconstructing_a_Leo - Right? If that's a joke, who the hell is laughing? Ohh, because it's not a joke. What value or worth does a relationship represent anymore when you say something like that to another man? Maybe I'm just old school.