Scorpio and abuse
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by fatal1234 on Friday, May 20, 2011 and has 10 replies.
Hi guys so today was kind of weird. I opened up to my scorp about something that happened to me in the past.. I was in a abusive relationship for a little over a year back when I was 18-19. I didn't ever plan on telling my scorp about this because although I have overcome it I still rather not talk about it in detail. So accidently I slipped and said something which lead scorp into a rant of questions untill I told him what really happened. So I sort of opened up and he got mad. Mad that I would let a man do that to me. He started saying things like "I didn't think you were that kind of girl to let that happen".. making me feel like im a weak person. I kept saying it was a different time in my life and I was very young and naive. I do take responsibility for staying but theres nothing I can do cause its in the past now. He than went on to saying if im going to be with him I can't be a nice girl to other men cause he will threw an attitude (I'm guessing thats the jealousy of a scorp?) I told him just because that happened to me doesnt mean im a doormat. He just said your just a nice girl. I told him I hope that doesn't change how you look at me (getting abused) and he said def. not because now it's too late feelings are already involved. He has an emotional connection with me. But he said if I had told him when we first met it may have been different. He also told me his mom was abused and he really didn't like that shit. He also kept moving around the room when we were talking about it like he couldnt sit still.
So now I'm feeling really confused and vulnerable to the point where I want to go into my own little shell for a few days. I didn't expect him to act like that.. he was really upset. When I told my last scorpio ex he was more comforting than my scorp now. After he walked me to my car and gave me a long hug and kiss than told me to call him later. I told him okay but now I am feeling like I don't want to b/c I feel judged.
Any clue on why he took it so personal and if telling him this ruined how he looks at me or this relationship? I'm just confused and kinda want to cry. Like maybe I shouldn't have said anything but I also didn't want to lie. I've always read that opening up to a scorp is a good thing to do though that really wasn't my intentions but the way he acted seemed like he was really upset rather than feeling closer to me.
Any advice or thoughts?
So now I'm feeling really confused and vulnerable to the point where I want to go into my own little shell for a few days. I didn't expect him to act like that.. he was really upset. When I told my last scorpio ex he was more comforting than my scorp now. After he walked me to my car and gave me a long hug and kiss than told me to call him later. I told him okay but now I am feeling like I don't want to b/c I feel judged.
Any clue on why he took it so personal and if telling him this ruined how he looks at me or this relationship? I'm just confused and kinda want to cry. Like maybe I shouldn't have said anything but I also didn't want to lie. I've always read that opening up to a scorp is a good thing to do though that really wasn't my intentions but the way he acted seemed like he was really upset rather than feeling closer to me.
Any advice or thoughts?
Thank you for your reply.. I tried to think as well it was because of his mom and that's one reason it got personal I just didn't want him to think less of me because of my past. We all make mistakes right? Him pacing back and fourth did seem like he wanted to hurt the guy. I dk I'm trying to just let it go but tge way he came at me was unexpected. If that's his way of being protective I'll have to get used to that lol but your right good quality.
I remember you ... you're the chic who gets so flirty with men that the Scorpio won't take you out to bars with him.
So, you said, "Him pacing back and fourth did seem like he wanted to hurt the guy." ... so, is this a person he knows? Or a recent event?
It sounds like you might have done this to get his attention because you have been telling us lately that you feel like you don't get enough attention from him.
If this is a set-up for him to fight over your honor, and the other guy isn't really a bad guy, rather just one that was responding to your flirts ... then you should probably check yourself.
So, you said, "Him pacing back and fourth did seem like he wanted to hurt the guy." ... so, is this a person he knows? Or a recent event?
It sounds like you might have done this to get his attention because you have been telling us lately that you feel like you don't get enough attention from him.
If this is a set-up for him to fight over your honor, and the other guy isn't really a bad guy, rather just one that was responding to your flirts ... then you should probably check yourself.
Zack of spades- yea you seem really on point with that and I can see what your talking about from a mans point of view. I really appreciate it because im just going to let it go. It was in my past and I learned from it. Never again willl I allow it to happen and I know scorp would never do such a thing. Which im thankful for that. Thank you for your honest advice and help.
Ahh being mean to you because of what happened is pretty horrible...but in saying that it could just be the shock talking. I can see how he would get so enraged about it though...I feel like that when my partner tells me things about his ex that aren't even that bad. I actually think his reaction was a good sign (apart from saying what he did about you.)
I pretty much agree with ZackofSpades. My dad did the same thing when he found out about abuse that had been done to me (he's a scorpio) and he didn't let it go for years...he didn't keep bringing it up, but it affected him for years.
Also if you feel like shelling up...do it. Don't completely shut him out but telling someone something so serious is a hard thing to do and if you feel you need to get yourself together and understand/feel more at peace with his reaction then you should.
I pretty much agree with ZackofSpades. My dad did the same thing when he found out about abuse that had been done to me (he's a scorpio) and he didn't let it go for years...he didn't keep bringing it up, but it affected him for years.
Also if you feel like shelling up...do it. Don't completely shut him out but telling someone something so serious is a hard thing to do and if you feel you need to get yourself together and understand/feel more at peace with his reaction then you should.
Yea I think if I continue to show him I am a strong woman and I don't let my past ruin me than he'll let it go as well. Or little bit lol. He just took it so personal but to hear the two of you say you've expierenced somewhat the same thing than that makes me feel better because I wasn't sure if I made a mistake by telling him. I know deep down im not weak. That was probably the ugliest part of my past in my life so now he knows the worse i've been threw.
Thank you for all your replys really appreciated. I feel a lot better now.
Thank you for all your replys really appreciated. I feel a lot better now.
What a coward you turned out to be .. what I said about you flirting is exactly what you described in the other thread, and when I said it, you agreed that you cannot tell a man no, or something to that effect.
So, I mention it here, you tell me not to twist it, eventhough you said it ... and then you go and hide all your posts in the other thread so nobody can read for themselves what is the truth of it.
I'm beginning to understand why he is disengaging his feelings for you ... beginning to understand why he doesn't trust you.
YOu call me a liar and then hide the facts .....
::: shakes head :::
So, I mention it here, you tell me not to twist it, eventhough you said it ... and then you go and hide all your posts in the other thread so nobody can read for themselves what is the truth of it.
I'm beginning to understand why he is disengaging his feelings for you ... beginning to understand why he doesn't trust you.
YOu call me a liar and then hide the facts .....
::: shakes head :::
Signed Up: May 21, 2011
Comments: 0 · Posts: 473 · Topics: 0
Comments: 0 · Posts: 473 · Topics: 0
Depends, the context of the hidden posts was sensitive enough I think.
I am a scorpio male.
I have been in a same situation as yours and i can understand how your b/f feels if he really loves you.
My gf was also being abused verbally & emotionally and it has changed her completely. I really love my g/f and she matters the most to me. She's of pisces sign and I would do anything for her, if i say anything it means anything for her.
So, once she started opening up and started telling me all these stories. Believe me each line ripped my heart. The only thing that was going through my head was - "How could he do that to the person whom i love so much" & "How could you let it do to yourself, how can be you so naive". You can give hundreds, thousands of reasons but we can't just accept it.I was getting restless too and moving around.
The only solution to this is time. Give it time & patience. I'm sure after some time he will be normal like before. But the thing is he can't forget it. Don't make stupid mistakes like saying "How blind you were in his( your ex) love to overlook all these things" and don't bring this topic again to him. Be honest with him, Scorpios respect honesty.
And above all love him more genuinely. Don't be fake. His love will only grow with time if you are true to him.
For a scorpio, Once you are his, even if you tell about your first playful kiss which was zillion years ago it would still hurt him.
Hope you get some idea. Good Luck!
I have been in a same situation as yours and i can understand how your b/f feels if he really loves you.
My gf was also being abused verbally & emotionally and it has changed her completely. I really love my g/f and she matters the most to me. She's of pisces sign and I would do anything for her, if i say anything it means anything for her.
So, once she started opening up and started telling me all these stories. Believe me each line ripped my heart. The only thing that was going through my head was - "How could he do that to the person whom i love so much" & "How could you let it do to yourself, how can be you so naive". You can give hundreds, thousands of reasons but we can't just accept it.I was getting restless too and moving around.
The only solution to this is time. Give it time & patience. I'm sure after some time he will be normal like before. But the thing is he can't forget it. Don't make stupid mistakes like saying "How blind you were in his( your ex) love to overlook all these things" and don't bring this topic again to him. Be honest with him, Scorpios respect honesty.
And above all love him more genuinely. Don't be fake. His love will only grow with time if you are true to him.
For a scorpio, Once you are his, even if you tell about your first playful kiss which was zillion years ago it would still hurt him.
Hope you get some idea. Good Luck!
Brynne29- thank you for your reply especially with having a similar story to mine. I've done just what u said and haven't brought it up at all. I figured if he wants to know more than he'll ask. So far everything has gone back to normal. I haven't seen him since the day we talked about it but that's mainly because his new work schedule. But yea it seems that everyone on here is saying the sane thing.. That it's coming from a loving heart even though I thought he was just super upset with me.
I will continue to love and care for him and keep being honest. That was like the biggest thing that has changed me in life outside your normal family problems lol but I feel letting him know that was kinda like the hard part is over. Thanks again.
I will continue to love and care for him and keep being honest. That was like the biggest thing that has changed me in life outside your normal family problems lol but I feel letting him know that was kinda like the hard part is over. Thanks again.
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