Scorpio and Cancer
This topic was created in the Cancer and Scorpio Compatibility forum by hisblueeyes on Wednesday, February 20, 2008 and has 10 replies.
What are your opinions? Thoughts? Input? Two cents?
I'm a Cancer and he is a Scorpio. I feel this whole push and pull thing going on with this pairing. We are not in a comitted relationship per se ... but certainly act like it. He says we are courting. I'm cool with that. No rush. Back to the push, pull thing. We do it to each other. It's like we don't know how to be any other way. He will call several times a day, then I don't hear from him for a day or two. He's inconsistent. Well, the circumstances I guess make things inconsistent. I'm tired of the whirlwind of back and forth emotions (on my part) so lately, I've been ignoring him. I haven't talked to him in several days. Trying to gather my thoughts. I thought he would panic and keep calling, but it's made him back off even more. So now I take that as a form of rejection and I am backing off even more! I want him to chase me. Is this psycho? Now I just feel sad because I feel like he's lost interest and he hasn't made an effort. A few weeks ago he asked me to stop psycho-analyzing him and just free fall with him. Then, this dude admitted that he has been psycho-analyzing me the whole time! What??? I feel vulnerable and I don't want him to have this power over me.
Any other Cancers with Scorpio men? How do I handle this situation?
I'm a Cancer and he is a Scorpio. I feel this whole push and pull thing going on with this pairing. We are not in a comitted relationship per se ... but certainly act like it. He says we are courting. I'm cool with that. No rush. Back to the push, pull thing. We do it to each other. It's like we don't know how to be any other way. He will call several times a day, then I don't hear from him for a day or two. He's inconsistent. Well, the circumstances I guess make things inconsistent. I'm tired of the whirlwind of back and forth emotions (on my part) so lately, I've been ignoring him. I haven't talked to him in several days. Trying to gather my thoughts. I thought he would panic and keep calling, but it's made him back off even more. So now I take that as a form of rejection and I am backing off even more! I want him to chase me. Is this psycho? Now I just feel sad because I feel like he's lost interest and he hasn't made an effort. A few weeks ago he asked me to stop psycho-analyzing him and just free fall with him. Then, this dude admitted that he has been psycho-analyzing me the whole time! What??? I feel vulnerable and I don't want him to have this power over me.
Any other Cancers with Scorpio men? How do I handle this situation?
not my steez
**I'm tired of the whirlwind of back and forth emotions (on my part) so lately, I've been ignoring him. I haven't talked to him in several days. Trying to gather my thoughts. I thought he would panic and keep calling, but it's made him back off even more. So now I take that as a form of rejection and I am backing off even more
*
If you have been ignoring him for several days then he's definitely feeling rejected and he might not be willing to stick his neck back out there.
Why do you feel like he's rejecting you if you have been ignoring him? It appears that he's been reaching out and you haven't been reciprocating. You have to let him know how you "TRULY" feel about him. That's the only way to see if you can salvage what you had. He may be receptive or he could have decided to walk away, but retreating further into your shell isn't going to make things better.
I'm a Cancer and me and my Scorpio are always going through the push/pull, but we never stay away from each other for days...
* If you have been ignoring him for several days then he's definitely feeling rejected and he might not be willing to stick his neck back out there.
Why do you feel like he's rejecting you if you have been ignoring him? It appears that he's been reaching out and you haven't been reciprocating. You have to let him know how you "TRULY" feel about him. That's the only way to see if you can salvage what you had. He may be receptive or he could have decided to walk away, but retreating further into your shell isn't going to make things better.
I'm a Cancer and me and my Scorpio are always going through the push/pull, but we never stay away from each other for days...
I'm tired of the whirlwind of back and forth emotions (on my part) so lately, I've been ignoring him. I haven't talked to him in several days. Trying to gather my thoughts. I thought he would panic and keep calling, but it's made him back off even more.
*Obviously you don't know Scorpio well. You rejected him and you expect to keep calling? He's hurt and you want him to keep coming back for more? Think again...
I feel vulnerable and I don't want him to have this power over me.
*Get out now because Scorps do have power and know how to use it...and it's obvious he's using it right now!!!
*Obviously you don't know Scorpio well. You rejected him and you expect to keep calling? He's hurt and you want him to keep coming back for more? Think again...
I feel vulnerable and I don't want him to have this power over me.
*Get out now because Scorps do have power and know how to use it...and it's obvious he's using it right now!!!
*** I never had this problem with him. We've been broken up for 3 years and he still calls me. However, I would say if you want him to chase you, he won't. Scorps will be ardent, but they attention too. ****
I don't know if this is true, because my scorp friend loves to chase me. He will literally call me all day almost stalking if he doesn't hear from me more than a day. He is always the first to contact me after the push/pull thing that only happens when the scorp/scorp power struggle happens. They want to control scorp girl/scorp girl refuses to be controlled. They want EVERYTHING their way. We want them to meet us in the middle. However, they can't be away from their object of affection very long at all. I think the frist fall out we had the longest we didn't speak was 4 days. I didn't answer his calls that is for this long because he pissed me off and I didn't want to argue. When I finally did he was when he said he loved me and couldn't breathe the four days we didn't communicate.
Ofcourse I took that as a load of crap we only knew eachother a couple of months, but I neva let him know that.
So go figure. It is true you have to let him know you are into him because he will eventually walk away and not return. However they will chase you if they REALLY want you and say things like. " I can't shake you", You are the first image I see in the morning and the last I see at night before I go to sleep"(in his head ofcourse). LOL!!! When they say these things they probably mean them.
I don't know if this is true, because my scorp friend loves to chase me. He will literally call me all day almost stalking if he doesn't hear from me more than a day. He is always the first to contact me after the push/pull thing that only happens when the scorp/scorp power struggle happens. They want to control scorp girl/scorp girl refuses to be controlled. They want EVERYTHING their way. We want them to meet us in the middle. However, they can't be away from their object of affection very long at all. I think the frist fall out we had the longest we didn't speak was 4 days. I didn't answer his calls that is for this long because he pissed me off and I didn't want to argue. When I finally did he was when he said he loved me and couldn't breathe the four days we didn't communicate.
Ofcourse I took that as a load of crap we only knew eachother a couple of months, but I neva let him know that.
So go figure. It is true you have to let him know you are into him because he will eventually walk away and not return. However they will chase you if they REALLY want you and say things like. " I can't shake you", You are the first image I see in the morning and the last I see at night before I go to sleep"(in his head ofcourse). LOL!!! When they say these things they probably mean them.
I have ignored him for a few days. He called 4 times yesterday (secretly this made me happy). He left a mean message though and said he wasn't going to call me anymore because he was done. Ouch! He hasn't called since. He gave up? Just like that?
I seriously feel like this guy wants all of my affection and all of my attention 24/7, but he will only reciprocate when he feels like it. Hello? What about me? I want ALL of his affection and attention too. I could saturate this guy with love, trust me. I am holding back because I am waiting for him to step it up. He has a valentine card for me but "isn't ready to give it to me." He says I'm going to like it, but I'm going to have to wait for it???? Okay, the holiday has passed Rico Suave.
We have had talks about us. He knows how much I like him. I know he likes me too but lately he RARELY says it. I've given him the green light. I'm NOT going to throw myself at a guy. I don't understand why he's backing off.
I see it like this: In the beginning he was very flirty and open with his feelings. The closer we're getting, he shares less. He used to tell me all the time how special I am to him ... compliments, pet names ... Now, I don't know if it's just me, but he's acting very platonic. So I start to act platonic. He doesn't like it very much. What????
Am I the problem here? Am I sending him mixed messages?
I seriously feel like this guy wants all of my affection and all of my attention 24/7, but he will only reciprocate when he feels like it. Hello? What about me? I want ALL of his affection and attention too. I could saturate this guy with love, trust me. I am holding back because I am waiting for him to step it up. He has a valentine card for me but "isn't ready to give it to me." He says I'm going to like it, but I'm going to have to wait for it???? Okay, the holiday has passed Rico Suave.
We have had talks about us. He knows how much I like him. I know he likes me too but lately he RARELY says it. I've given him the green light. I'm NOT going to throw myself at a guy. I don't understand why he's backing off.
I see it like this: In the beginning he was very flirty and open with his feelings. The closer we're getting, he shares less. He used to tell me all the time how special I am to him ... compliments, pet names ... Now, I don't know if it's just me, but he's acting very platonic. So I start to act platonic. He doesn't like it very much. What????
Am I the problem here? Am I sending him mixed messages?
A Scorpio male will NEVER allow a woman to dominate him. He will want the control over your relationship.
I can tell youre quite a nag - maybe that is putting him off? He wants an emotionally strong woman not a wet blanket.
I can tell youre quite a nag - maybe that is putting him off? He wants an emotionally strong woman not a wet blanket.
hisblueeyes said: "I have ignored him for a few days. He called 4 times yesterday (secretly this made me happy). He left a mean message though and said he wasn't going to call me anymore because he was done. Ouch! He hasn't called since. He gave up? Just like that?"
It really isn't "just like that." You admitted to ignoring him for a week earlier because he didn't call you every day and now you ignored him again and you are wondering why he gave up. I am a scorpio and I will put effort into what I want but at some point I would stop and think to myself that if I keep doing this, I'm going to look like a stalker becasue the interest isn't there from the other party, and then stop. The mean message was probably because he was hurt. I'm sorry he hurt your feelings. If you want someone to chase you have to show a morsel of interest in order for them to have a reason to chase. I mean, would you continually pursue someone who ignored you? I'm guessing not and I'm also guessing you'd be hurt from the rejection.
It really isn't "just like that." You admitted to ignoring him for a week earlier because he didn't call you every day and now you ignored him again and you are wondering why he gave up. I am a scorpio and I will put effort into what I want but at some point I would stop and think to myself that if I keep doing this, I'm going to look like a stalker becasue the interest isn't there from the other party, and then stop. The mean message was probably because he was hurt. I'm sorry he hurt your feelings. If you want someone to chase you have to show a morsel of interest in order for them to have a reason to chase. I mean, would you continually pursue someone who ignored you? I'm guessing not and I'm also guessing you'd be hurt from the rejection.
hisblueeyes said: "I seriously feel like this guy wants all of my affection and all of my attention 24/7, but he will only reciprocate when he feels like it. Hello? What about me? I want ALL of his affection and attention too. I could saturate this guy with love, trust me. I am holding back because I am waiting for him to step it up. He has a valentine card for me but "isn't ready to give it to me." He says I'm going to like it, but I'm going to have to wait for it???? Okay, the holiday has passed Rico Suave."
The impression I get from what you typed (there could be way more to it that I don't know about) is that he is giving you attention on a fairly regular basis but you are not reciprocating him. If you do have loving feelings for him, put them out there. My guess is that he said the thing about the card to feel you out since you've not given him any indication of your feelings.
"We have had talks about us. He knows how much I like him. I know he likes me too but lately he RARELY says it. I've given him the green light. I'm NOT going to throw myself at a guy. I don't understand why he's backing off."
Again, how does he know how much you like him when you are ignoring him? He likes you or he wouldn't have kept trying to contact you. He is backing off because of your rejection.
hisblueeyes said: "I see it like this: In the beginning he was very flirty and open with his feelings. The closer we're getting, he shares less. He used to tell me all the time how special I am to him ... compliments, pet names ... Now, I don't know if it's just me, but he's acting very platonic. So I start to act platonic. He doesn't like it very much. What????"
The impression I get from what you typed (there could be way more to it that I don't know about) is that he is giving you attention on a fairly regular basis but you are not reciprocating him. If you do have loving feelings for him, put them out there. My guess is that he said the thing about the card to feel you out since you've not given him any indication of your feelings.
"We have had talks about us. He knows how much I like him. I know he likes me too but lately he RARELY says it. I've given him the green light. I'm NOT going to throw myself at a guy. I don't understand why he's backing off."
Again, how does he know how much you like him when you are ignoring him? He likes you or he wouldn't have kept trying to contact you. He is backing off because of your rejection.
hisblueeyes said: "I see it like this: In the beginning he was very flirty and open with his feelings. The closer we're getting, he shares less. He used to tell me all the time how special I am to him ... compliments, pet names ... Now, I don't know if it's just me, but he's acting very platonic. So I start to act platonic. He doesn't like it very much. What????"
You hadn't pulled away yet in the beginning so he was more open. How did you respond to the compliments and pet names? Did you indicate that you liked them? I'm guessing he is acting platonic because you've pulled away.
Scorpio and Cancer are both cautious and afraid of getting hurt. You will both have to go against the grain and quit pulling away for perceived rejection rather than discussing it. I'll bet if you mentioned how you'd love to hear from him every day that he would have called you daily like you wanted in the first place and then this chain of events could have been avoided. There are no guarantees to that. He could have said he wasn't wanting things at that level, but then you would know for sure what his feelings were. Then if you ignored him, it would at least be based on how he really feels instead of a guess. Best of luck to you.
hisblueeyes said: "Am I the problem here? Am I sending him mixed messages?"
In a word, Yes! You are sending him mixed messages. You aren't a problem though, you are just choosing to be safe. Unfortunately when you play it safe it sometimes keeps you closed off, preventing things from happening.
Scorpio and Cancer are both cautious and afraid of getting hurt. You will both have to go against the grain and quit pulling away for perceived rejection rather than discussing it. I'll bet if you mentioned how you'd love to hear from him every day that he would have called you daily like you wanted in the first place and then this chain of events could have been avoided. There are no guarantees to that. He could have said he wasn't wanting things at that level, but then you would know for sure what his feelings were. Then if you ignored him, it would at least be based on how he really feels instead of a guess. Best of luck to you.
hisblueeyes said: "Am I the problem here? Am I sending him mixed messages?"
In a word, Yes! You are sending him mixed messages. You aren't a problem though, you are just choosing to be safe. Unfortunately when you play it safe it sometimes keeps you closed off, preventing things from happening.
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