Scorpio and the Pursuit of Perfection

Hello all. I'm new to this forum, and you all seem to be intelligent and rational folks, so I'm happy to have found you.

I'm going to state things as fact when I believe them to be true, but my mind is always open to new data. Here is Part I.

I've recently found comfort and peace with my need to do things perfectly, but that did not come easily. The dilemma is simple: I don't feel right unless I approach things with the idea of perfection in mind, and most people are intimidated by the notion of that approach, and more so by the display of that approach. People like a false sense of specialness, and they project that onto the things that they do. If they paint a picture, painting is magic. If they write a story, writing is all about "feel". If they speak publicly, they are just born with it.

These are all constructions guilt on personal fears and insecurities. If they don't inflate their FUNCTION, then they question their own individual value. In truth, we are all sharing the same "stuff". None of us created stone from which to sculpt, nor sound with which to compose. We also didn't create our ability to perceive the potential of this world. Both the world and our perception of it are gifts that we share equally. What separates us are our actions. By action I do not mean a physical deed. An action is the manifestation of our INTENTION.

We are built with the ability to express our intentions exactly as they are, in rhythm with the abstract connection to the world around us. Our lives, friends, foes, needs, wants, desires and habits water that down, until we do not focus on it and thusly express it in a flawed way. Singing off key? You're not trying to sing on key. Not drawing what you wish? You're not visualizing. Not speaking well in public, or pressure situations? Same thing. Part of you wants to fail, either by intent or neglect. It's not talent. Our minds and bodies do what we tell them, but it is a tall task to both figure out what we want, and then to express it definitively to our minds and bodies.

People reject this idea, because facing their inadequacies threatens to confirm every assault on their character by their parents, classmates and peers. That fear is one of the most powerful and common tools in this world, and it is usually that fear that forms a wedge between the Scorpio and everyone around them.

the original post smells like masturbation.

praxis, what's -really- bothering you?

ugh, the OP is making a far philisophical stretch in the name of astrology...praxis, save the academic double speak for the philosophy classroom...you'll get a much warmer response here if you just say what you mean.

fuming, that's cool...what happened to it? ;D

whoaaaaaa

i don't know WHERE you got the idea that we're intelligent and rational here on dxp, but i'm thinking that impression of yours confirms the validity of certain points in your post......

""...and you all seem to be intelligent and rational folks...""

lmao new york, you say?

Peace 🙂

HAHA I've found certain truths recently. If you're a Scorpio, and you do not feel an inner need to enter into every action with great intensity and the pursuit of perfection, then please don't waste your time with this post. This isn't a question, but just me chronicling some notions. People will react as they will and I'll take that for what it is. I have more to say on the subject though. If you disagree, I'm always open to other opinions. If you agree and share the same experience, then that's useful for other reasons. Like I said, I have some Scorpio friends, and I know that these findings resonate with some of them. Just to clarify: Some people are intimidated by the Scorpio's approach to passionate projects, and some Scorpios have a hard time reconciling that. I think I've made some major steps towards progress in that regard, and I'm sharing it here. Nothing more, nothing less.

Growing up, I was always good at drawing and reading(both of which I do professionally now), but like any other kid, I had things I did well and things I did poorly. When I was sixteen years old, I became obsessed with doing things perfectly. I wanted power, and control. No longer satisfied with casual attempts at activities, I began to do things with true intent.

Two things happened.

I got better at a few things, which was nice. Some things big, some things small, but many things that I'd either never tried, or found to be outside of my realm of talents. The other thing, was I began to notice a link in all of the things that I was doing. Whether it was a physical activity, like rollerblading or basketball, or the creative and mental activities of drawing and storytelling, I found that the same "intent-filled" approach seemed to break down the boundaries of my own limitations.

Like a lot of young Scorpios, I was arrogant and competitive. In competition, I went for the jugular and didn't stop until I won. The drive for victory was so absolute that even losses were welcome as learning experiences, rather than an empty victory that didn't teach as much. Once I got to the point that people would pay me to do some of the things I'd learned, I found this approach wasn't satisfactory within a team concept. People were as likely to be fascinated as they were to be intimidated.

When you're young and starting out in a career and you need the knowledge of your more experienced peers, intimidating them is a quick path to being frozen out. So I shut it down.

During this time, I lost that singular focus. To be honest, there were both pros and cons to the change, and I can take it all as a learning experience now. I became a better team player, and I also learned much more from *people* rather than having to find everything on my own. However, as the years passed by, I found conflict.

The resolution of that conflict is why I post to you today.

Conflict:
-People welcomed me
-I no longer felt defensive, or at war with everyone
-I became "open" in a positive way
-I learned many new things that I didn't know I wanted to learn
However
-I didn't identify with anyone
-Their casual approach bred complacency in myself
-Complacency reduces my self esteem and happiness.

So identifying the problem of complacency, I looked back to a time where focus seemed to have an almost magical affect on the universe around me, but I couldn't just go back to those times. I had grown since then, and I recognized things that I saw as strength as mechanisms for adolescent growth, and not enlightened thought processes.

Was my need for perfection a defense mechanism?
Was it just compulsion, created by fear?

The short answer is no. There were too many "truths" uncovered by my methods. Perhaps adversity prompted the change in behavior, but the intense (or intent) pursuit of perfection was the way. Regardless of the world around me, I felt at home, and the world responded in kind. Whatever I got, I wanted, but now as a man, I don't want an independent relationship with the world, but an interdependent relationship. The same thing that connects one medium to another also connects me to my fellow man.

Recently, I've read some great works that confirmed what I knew back then, but didn't have the experience to understand and retain.

Perfection is the only way to do something, or I am not really engaging it at all. Does this mean I will achieve that? Only time will tell. I can't presume to know the result of something. I can only be mindful of the moment, and each moment must be a pure pursuit of the truth of the action. Pure pursuit harmonizes with the world around you, and unlocks things that we cannot explain or control in a conscious way. Walter Russell has the popular adage--"Mediocrity is self inflicted"

He's right. I'll break down how I see that in another post.

For now, I'll say that it is a little saddening that I don't identify with my peers. I only feel at home when I'm reading the work of men much smarter than I am, like Aristotle and Socrates(who technically has no work of his own, but you get my drift). I'm motivated by seeing excellence, by seeking excellence.

Trying to fit within the expectations of fear filled people is only the slow death of our own spirit.

I'll leave it at that for now. I realize this can sound strange and New Age-y, but for a forum of Scorpios, I'm sure there are one or two of you that find resonance in my words.

Thank You

Praxis, perhaps you are gifted and perhaps very much so. But I have a different opinion of fitting around the expectations of fear filled people ( each one of us being some part of the whole I guess ). It can be an interesting idea ( or just another ) to focus on what works and not on what doesn't work but somehow being determined in making it work.

Some responses:

Re: firestarterscarlett

I don't believe in superiority. That's the biggest change from when I was younger. In fact, it's kind of the whole point. I'm not superior, or any more "gifted" than anyone else. And I don't believe that they are any more gifted than myself. It's all about intent, and being around people who have the same intentions as you.

Re: fumingli_scorp

I was actually never isolated. I've always had a circle of close friends, and then a broader circle of associates that desire my company, as most people do. My issue was dealing with the conflicts of difference of intentions within that company. I'm actually a fun person, which I won't display on these messageboards, most likely, but that has nothing to do with resolving the issues of overall intention. At this point, I'd rather have a self imposed isolation where I am constantly pushed to grow, than be in a group of people who really like me, but I have to "take a break" on challenging myself to make them feel more comfortable.

Regarding casual speech, believe me, I've more than mastered it. If I'm going to debate Jordan vs Kobe in a fun bball discussion, then I'll keep the language suited to that. However, if someone wants to discuss ideas with the intention of learning, then I'm not going to condescend them by consciously simplifying my speech, nor am I going to intentionally be more verbose. I'll communicate in the way that I think best illustrates my perspective, and answer or ask any questions if there is a gap of education on either side of the dialectic.


Re: Gaurav_Aries

Fitting around people is easy. Just empower them and take an investment in what raise their self esteem. But can you maintain the perspective that best improves you as a person, and not have to constantly deal them comparing your drive with their own insecurities.

i don't know about any of this. i think scorps tend to want to control everything, and this isn't a healthy way to live...i think one of the most rewarding things for a scorp to learn to is to release control and deal with things as they come, although this is asier said than done...

i think once scorpio realizes the world, for the most part, *isn't* about to stab him in the back then it leaves room for something much more deep than survival...

that's what being scorpio is all about. knowing much, but being unwilling to accept anything, including change. we're awful at change. but a big part of me is saying to embrace the change i am so afraid of, and we as scorpios (if we have anything) have amazing intuitions...mine has never steered me wrong, so i'm intent on becoming a slave to my gut...but herein lies the problem: scorpios refuse to be slaves to anything, including themselves...we rebel. and in our rebellion we find the persistent alienation, loneliness and fear that drives us deeper into ourselves, shut off from the world around us. it's an endless cycle of control that is difficult to break, because we were hardwired in a way which predisposes us towards this kinds of behavior.

it's all about breaking free. why do you think scorpio has three symbols, one of which is the phoenix?

there is no curing the basilisk with a heart of stone, except from the inside out.

Scorpio_wreck,

I can't help but feel that we're having a miscommunication. This isn't about control, survival or defensiveness. I haven't felt defensive in quite some time, and it is in fact the freedom from that defensiveness which gives me the comfort to approach things as I see fit, regardless of the possible negative consequences. Conversely, "dialing it back" is an attempt at control. I believe it is a dishonest manipulation, and inconsistent with the spirit of inspiration and expression. Everyone tries to approach things in the way that they think is best, the way they perceive to bring them joy. The Scorpio should be no different, even if their way may be in the minority.

I believe freedom comes from a series of actions that come from genuine intent. Genuine intent meaning that which you truly feel is best, in each and every moment. So if someone were to pause life during any activity and ask you, "Right now, right this very second, is this EXACTLY what you want, both short term and long term?", that you could answer with a 100 percent yes. For me, I can only answer that in the affirmative if I'm trying my absolute best to get the most out of what I'm doing, which means I'm trying to strive for perfection. For me, casual approach is a personal betrayal. Pretending towards the contrary is more controlling than honoring what I know to be true.

Lose control...are you insane?!!! one must always remain in control...

I've never felt the need of being "too" competitive/ obsession of being perfect/ feeling myself as a very special person that can only be understood by some /obsessed with power/manipulate/intimidate people /unable to be a team player .Anyway , all of these characters add up will result in something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder /Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder but let's just forget those silly ideas from Psychology....I'm glad that you have managed to get away from these and come to understand yourself and the people around you better...Just be more compassionate and think things objectively at the same time...Understanding yourself , your emotion is good but don't need to make a great fuss about your feeling/thoughts too much because somehow you will make things too complicated for your emotional well being...Take things slow , one at the time...Don't just focus on your thoughts too much but take a look around the people to understand them and help them...It will take you out of your shell and feel less intense about things...
Everyone is unique and special in their own way.If we can just take time to care for each other ...Work together instead of manipulating each other...Be honest instead of playing games...There won't be any hurt, any tear, any complaints...Then again , it's a very long and hard work before the world come to that...So I feel truly glad that you keep improving yourself every day 🙂

lmao @ FSS


hahaaaaa

"Genuine intent meaning that which you truly feel is best, in each and every moment... that you could answer with a 100 percent yes."

That is living with integrity. It is so hard to know what is right sometimes though: the head versus the heart. But, i believe that we always know deep down what is best for us and what we should be doing - but we just dont listen, rah!

"For me, casual approach is a personal betrayal."

Yes, i can see this.

"Pretending towards the contrary is more controlling than honoring what I know to be true."

It depends on how much you manipulate your surroundings in order to honor what you know to be 'true'!

But, yeah, pretending in general is a waste of time. It may seem like a short cut at the start, but in the long-term it is def. a time waster, because ultimately, i think we all have to face our own truth. And once we face it, how easy is it to ignore? It is like an unwanted friend that keeps visiting. It knocks at your door, it stands on your shoulder, it shakes you until you... eventually listen.

Enough of the rave.

Thanks for your thought-inspiring post - enlightening and interesting.

When I was sixteen years old, I became obsessed with doing things perfectly

There is a clinical name for this : OCD Obessive Compulsive Disorder

Ans so maybe it revolves around the "control" part of this sign. The need for complete control..perhaps this is why a lot fo Scops seem unhappy b/c the idea of complete control can't always be accomplished..and if not accomplished then there is the sense of self defeat...just a thought =)

Was my need for perfection a defense mechanism?
Was it just compulsion, created by fear?


Well its kinda like this with a Libra..its either a BMW or nothing =)

In other words..the best is in mind and everything else goes to the wasteside. BUT that mentality is good in a way b/c we shoot for the best and usually get it. But is doesnt mean its actually "the best"..
That BMW may have problems with it we can't see beneath its shiny exterior...in other words we assume we get the total package becasue thats what we are shooting for when in reality..nothing such as this even TRULY exsists. We have been fooled into thinking that it does =)

Have I confused ya yet— This is why I don't go here =D


****CIRCLES*****
haha

Mgirl and Librabra, thanks for your thoughts.

Re:Librabra

When I say "perfection", I'm definitely referring to the ideal of perfection, rather than the reality of it. The best example would be, if you have a song in your head, and then you play it. If it's exactly as you heard it in your head, then it's "perfect". If not, then you know you lost something along the way. Either way, it is certainly not the perfect song, or the greatest song of all time, but it can be the "perfect" realization of an idea.

The idea of perfection is dangerous because it can be misinterpreted to one's detriment very easily. There is a very superficial definition, involving the idea of being "without flaw". I don't like that description, because it already brings the idea of flaw into the equation. Thinking about being without flaw is a self consciousness, and a fear that derails us from the pure intent. I think nailing that intent comes from just thinking about the idea, or the ideal, and constantly focusing on that. Through repetition we become familiar with the "language" of whatever it is we are doing, and then our mind is free to truly explore the perfect idea in whatever it is we are doing.

In my limited teaching experience, I've seen that young people often get to this point through some sort of obsession, which can lead to a lot of confusion. Part of the reason I posted this was to filter through the superficialities of compulsion and obsession, which can either be a pathology, or it can simply be a growing pain. Teenagers seldom have the perspective to know "why" they are doing something, so the motivations aren't always the most enlightened, but that doesn't mean the end result has to be as limited as that original motivation.

Again, thanks for the thoughtful posts, and for taking the time.

The idea of perfection is dangerous because it can be misinterpreted to one's detriment very easily. There is a very superficial definition, involving the idea of being "without flaw". I don't like that description, because it already brings the idea of flaw into the equation. Thinking about being without flaw is a self consciousness, and a fear that derails us from the pure intent. I think nailing that intent comes from just thinking about the idea, or the ideal, and constantly focusing on that. Through repetition we become familiar with the "language" of whatever it is we are doing, and then our mind is free to truly explore the perfect idea in whatever it is we are doing.



Idea A above


In my limited teaching experience, I've seen that young people often get to this point through some sort of obsession, which can lead to a lot of confusion. Part of the reason I posted this was to filter through the superficialities of compulsion and obsession, which can either be a pathology, or it can simply be a growing pain. Teenagers seldom have the perspective to know "why" they are doing something, so the motivations aren't always the most enlightened, but that doesn't mean the end result has to be as limited as that original motivation.

Idea B

It seems you have a point but can't get to it clearly...an I right—

It's entirely possible that I'm being unclear. Ask me a specific question about what I said, and I'll try to be more concise.

When I say "perfection", I'm definitely referring to the ideal of perfection, rather than the reality of it. The best example would be, if you have a song in your head, and then you play it. If it's exactly as you heard it in your head, then it's "perfect". If not, then you know you lost something along the way. Either way, it is certainly not the perfect song, or the greatest song of all time, but it can be the "perfect" realization of an idea."

So, you're saying to strive to create in reality the idea as closely as possible to how it appears in your mind. And also that striving for perfection isn't just about trying to be without 'flaw', but moreso maintaining the interity of the original idea and bringing it into fruition.

It is early, this is a mind-bender! But good.

Yeah, that's really cool, i hadn't thought of it like that.

The message i am getting from your posts is to stick to what you think and concentrate on bringing it into reality as best you can - that that is the idea of perfection.

I'm not sure about the other stuff though as i tend not to question things (i am not good at philosophy that is - hey, i'm not perfect!).

Don't get caught up in the semantics, just strive to do you best!

The idea of perfection is dangerous because it can be misinterpreted to one's detriment very easily. There is a very superficial definition, involving the idea of being "without flaw"

Okay this I'm getting...The "idea" of perfection..which is ultimately a perception right? Have we all the same perceptions? Maybe its possible.

But this part has me somewhat wondering..
Thinking about being without flaw is a self consciousness, and a fear that derails us from the pure intent.

Intent to or from what?

Sorry, do not mean to pick your post apart but it has me somewhat ...perplexed =P

I guess I'm a perfectionalist and thats why this is interesting...
It both hinders and at the same time advances and pushes a person to end up perhaps maybe doing something they might not otherwise chosen to do had he/she not has this "mentality" of perfection.

Oh that above was in response to part A 😆 forgot to say that..

Part B

I'm still wondering about this altogether.