scorpio guy is mad -- help!

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by samjones on Wednesday, March 20, 2013 and has 47 replies.
so last week i got really drunk and texted something to this scorpio guy who ive been seeing for a few months. I said i was trying to make men have sex with me, and then denying them. in reality i was not. men were coming up to me and trying to talk to me but i would push them away. i dont know why i worded it like that -- i was drunk. now he says i lost all his trust and won't talk to me. i know he needs his time. and ive apologized but i have not heard from him in two weeks. he really liked me. and i really like him -- he's been cheated on in the past by his girlfriends but i would never cheat on him. i was just really drunk and said stupid shit. he liked me for a year before he told me, and then i told him the whole time i liked him too. it was the perfect story--except now i ruined it. i'm not bothering him or talking to him because he needs his space. i was thinking of messaging him and telling him exactly what happened that night because i never got a chance to really explain it (he wouldnt listen). any advice? i'm a capricorn female.

- sam
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you're right i wouldnt. the point of the matter is, i didn't do as i said i was doing. shouldnt that be all that matters? i tend to forgive easily, and i realize people make mistakes. it was something i said, not something i did. actions speak louder than words, and i know he knows i've been hurt in the past as well. do i keep doing what im doing or do i send him a message explaining everything? i feel like that would tick him off even more.
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just be honest and blunt about it. than give him a lil space, but he will test your loyalty from here on out until he fully trust you again.
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you think he will dump me if i continue to give him space? obviously i'm never sending him drunk texts again after this incident! lol!
but i know that if i send him a message it will make him think im insecure because i keep bringing it up. so i'm thinking of waiting it out...the ball is in his court, and until he messages me, i won't message him. it's so hard, because it really was the perfect story---he's very sensitive and i don't want to see him hurt. it hurts me that i hurt him, but telling him that isnt making it any better. i asked him if he's done with me and he said he's not done, but its going to take him a long time to trust me again. not to mention we live two hours away from each other. i really want this to work because i really care about him, but bringing it up will ruin things, i think. what do you think?
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no no no i didnt say i was not drunk enough.
i said i was drunk and said some things that did NOT happen. i said i was trying to make men have sex with me and turning them down but what was really happening was that men were hitting on me and i was turning them down. in my drunk state of mind, i thought it would be funny to text him that. my words got messed up, and i absolutely was not trying to get men to hav sex with me. i hate men, they're all pigs.
i've told him i didn't mean it, and that losing him would be horrific.
i've only been honest with him. i would never lie to him.
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to be fair, i did tell him i screwed up and i fucked up and he told me to "stop fucking apologizing"
i didn't go into detail with him about that night, i just apologized and told him how much he meant to me.
i'm just ranting on here because i think you guys should know the full story to give me some feedback.
i know im an idiot and i screwed up.
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you're right. i'm going to leave him alone and let him make the first move. how do you suggest i make it up to him?
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Everybody has said what u need to do!. Fall back, don't reach out to him. When he reaches out to you. All you say is you fucked up and your very sorry! Most important "IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN"! It's up to him if he can trust you! Trust is everything to us. Most important part of a relationship. It is the foundation!
Excuse the typos sent from my HTC with suretype.
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You make it up to him with flowers and a card. Only after he reaches out to you! Then you Show him and never talk about it again! Don't talk about how you will make it better. You just do it! Show him by doing the right things from now on. Do Not Talk about how sorry you are over and over. Shit drives us nuts. We want actions not frivolous words!
Excuse the typos sent from my HTC with suretype
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i respect myself to the fullest, but sometimes i have a weak moment, and that was the weak moment. surly it won't happen again. i'm going to focus on work and go on with my life, and if he chooses to contact me, then that's fine. if not, then his loss.
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that just made my day, Ellessque. thanks smile
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Posted by Nemesis
lmfao@people and their stupid attention seeking and mind games.
why the fuck would you do that? awwww shame because you were drunk? if you??re able to type a text and stir shit you could not have been that wasted/blasted.
you reap what you sow.
simple.



My Sentiments EXxxxACTLY...
Posted by IntriguedScorp
1) Stop playing games.
2) See number 1
click to expand

+1
@OP: You might want to STOP drinking since u can't handle ur liquor..smh.
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you are repeating the same thing from the last post, so obviously you are not "getting it".
STOP DEFENDING YOUR ACTIONS, YOU SCREWED UP. END OF STORY.
Until you can just STOP justifying your actions and just plain say "Yes, I fucked up."....he isn't going to want to even hear your babble about why you did it or what it was supposed to mean or what you REALLY meant.
Take responsibility for your actions. You screwed up, royally. I'm pretty sure that is all he wants out of this. If he wants explanation in details, he'll ask you when he's ready to process it. But for now, just admit you made a mistake and stop making excuses for yourself.


1+
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eeesh
don't ever go looking for trouble with a scorpio. it's not something you seek with them. they see it as part of your character and esp. in a weakened state... it's easy for them to assume you'll fall for the same temptation again... or just as bad, a diff. temptation along the same grain.
i've completely unwittingly done things that my ex scorp read too far into, mixed in his own insecurities, and he still has a hard time getting over it. i can't imagine how done with me he'd be if i actually intentionally started drama.
if i were you, i'd definitely leave him alone. if/when he comes around later... yes, with the brutal honesty. explain to him exactly what was going through your mind... explain to him why YOU KNOW he doesnt trust you anymore. explain to him that it matters to you, it hurts you too... and explain to him exactly how you plan to make it right.
an apology will mean nothing without all of those explanations.
personally... id throw in an explanation that no matter how he feels about forgiving you in this situation... it doesnt change the fact that you are going to follow through and still care about him.
girl you've got some 'splanin' to do
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i was not doing what i said i was doing. i was drunk and worded it differently than i would have liked. what i meant to say was "there are guys hitting on me and i'm pushing them away" rather than "i'm trying to get guys to hit on me and then pushing them away because i hate men and they all deserve to die"
but like i said, no excuses. i feel horrible, especially because i would never do anything to hurt him. i know this means nothing to you but he means so much to me.
if i don't talk to him, will he think i'm not interested in continuing our relationship?
also, he said "i'm not done but im not sure if i can trust you for a while"
if he was done wouldnt he say it?
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i think you are kinda running in circles here.
listen to what is being said by the people around you. you are really hearing what you want to hear and kinda starting to tell yourself what you want to believe.
it hurts and it sucks but ya gotta pay up. i highly recommend you not think about this for a little bit. revisit this in a day or so and i guarantee your mind will be clearer and having remembered all of this somewhere in the back of your head... it'll all make sense.
you will honestly be doing yourself a huge favor by giving this a rest for a minute. and by minute i mean 24 hrs, if not more.
think of it as following his lead. while you are on time out... think hard about the truth here. even if you believe what you are telling yourself... i'll bet you your scorp doesnt. and i kinda thought you were trying to win back his favor, not your own.
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im not sure what you mean by that. i understand what everyone is saying, but this is very vague.
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"so last week i got really drunk and texted something to this scorpio guy who ive been seeing for a few months. I said i was trying to make men have sex with me, and then denying them. in reality i was not.
i know he needs his time. and ive apologized but i have not heard from him in two weeks. he really liked me. and i really like him -- he's been cheated on in the past by his girlfriends but i would never cheat on him.
i thought it would be funny to text him that.
scorpio guy is mad"

You are simply one of those nasty, black hearted bitches out there who took what this man shared with you (an ugly past and raw pain in which he confided with you of someone cheating on him), and you used it for no other reason than to feed your deep seeded insecurities, lack of confidence and a clear lack of conscience/empathy. Then you have the balls to use alcohol as an excuse?
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"i feel horrible, especially because i would never do anything to hurt him. i know this means nothing to you but he means so much to me."

Add hypocrit to the list..
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Posted by samjones

but like i said, no excuses. i feel horrible, especially because i would never do anything to hurt him. i know this means nothing to you but he means so much to me.



Guess what, you just did.
I have a hard time believing you completely fumbled up because you were drunk instead of trying to make him jealous with something you should not have even thought about using. You were playing the game but instead got banned from the sport.
I'm pretty sure he thinks the same way.
Like others have said;
(1) Apologize, tell him how your own stupidity is hurting you and share your fear of losing him.
(2) Don't even think about giving excuses!
The quickest way to get him mad again is to say things like "but I was drunk" or "but I didn't actually do what I said". I would be mad too if someone gave me that excuse. It shows weak character and is actually a promise that it will happen again.
(3) Tell him you understand if he doesn't want to talk to you for a while but promise that you will answer complete and truthfully if he has any questions about it later. Follow through on it if he does ask.
(4) And finally, leave him alone for now. He has been clear that he needs some space to think about what happened. Expect 1 week to 1 month of no contact from him. Maybe more.
If he does decide he doesn't want anything to do with you anymore then suck it up and deal with it on your own.
No more contacting from your side and leave all hope of getting together again behind.
If you are lucky you can become friends again, maybe not.
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Honestly, there's just too much back-pedalling in this situation to believe we have the real story. I betcha this scorp guy feels the same way. Thats why honesty is so crucial.
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Posted by CreepyPants
Honestly, there's just too much back-pedalling in this situation to believe we have the real story. I betcha this scorp guy feels the same way. Thats why honesty is so crucial.









stole that from the misc. forumsmile
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i'm not backpeddling. i understand what i did was wrong, and that i need to come to terms with it myself before any progress can happen. i'm also not a lunatic drunk. i'm usually very well composed when drinking. i just had a little too much lol.

however, that doesnt excuse what i said. and i am telling you guys the truth, exactly what i told him. if someone sent me that text, i can honestly tell you i would laugh. and i would listen to them explain why they sent it and yes i may be mad for some time but i would realize it was supposed to be a joke.
that answers that question.
next....you're right. i'm not a stage 5 clinger, but he was before this being distant. and i do give him space, but we live two states apart. whenever i'm home i expect to see him and he would never make the attempt to see me. i felt like we were hanging on by a string. but there's no way in hell i can tell him this, he wouldnt get it. i need to be more sincere and patient with him, if i really want him back. im horrible with men, in case you couldnt tell.
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^^^ LOL!!! ^^^
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Posted by samjones
i'm not backpeddling. i understand what i did was wrong, and that i need to come to terms with it myself before any progress can happen. i'm also not a lunatic drunk. i'm usually very well composed when drinking. i just had a little too much lol.

however, that doesnt excuse what i said. and i am telling you guys the truth, exactly what i told him. if someone sent me that text, i can honestly tell you i would laugh. and i would listen to them explain why they sent it and yes i may be mad for some time but i would realize it was supposed to be a joke.
that answers that question.
next....you're right. i'm not a stage 5 clinger, but he was before this being distant. and i do give him space, but we live two states apart. whenever i'm home i expect to see him and he would never make the attempt to see me. i felt like we were hanging on by a string. but there's no way in hell i can tell him this, he wouldnt get it. i need to be more sincere and patient with him, if i really want him back. im horrible with men, in case you couldnt tell.



There it is right there. Nuff said.
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question for all of you:
i may be having dinner with him next week. how do i go about apologizing? for different people it's always different.
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Posted by samjones
question for all of you:
i may be having dinner with him next week. how do i go about apologizing? for different people it's always different.



Gave ya a glimmer of hope did he? lol..
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what does that mean?
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thank you Big Grin
what if he thinks im being too "fake"? i know i would never think about apologizing again unless he brings it up. i'm just going to be the girl he fell for, nothing has changed. with a little bit of humility yes lol
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also, what if he does not contact me in the week leading up to dinner. should i make the effort first? again, i don't want to seem like i'm overstepping my boundaries or pushing into "his" space. also i dont want to seem clingy. it's sad enough that i made the first move. at least he responded lol
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Posted by samjones
you're right i wouldnt. the point of the matter is, i didn't do as i said i was doing. shouldnt that be all that matters?


Not to a Scorp that has been cheated on.
Posted by samjones
i tend to forgive easily, and i realize people make mistakes.


Scorps, not so much, especially if they feel someone is toying with them. He has no idea if this actually true. He wasn't there, but he thinks it is true for the simple that you said it happened.
Posted by samjones
it was something i said, not something i did. actions speak louder than words, and i know he knows i've been hurt in the past as well.


And so has he, yet you said something that would hurt him and shed doubt on your faithfulness anyway. You make it seem like he's doing you wrong by taking space even though he wouldn't be responding in this way if you hadn't called him in the first place. You're right, actions do speak louder than words and in this situation your actions were to get drunk, call him and state you were intentionally getting guys to have sex with you. You've already said it took him a while to confess feelings for you, he also shared past hurts with you. This says to me that you gave him reason to make him feel safe with you and you were aware of the line you shouldn't cross. Then you did.
Posted by samjones
do i keep doing what im doing or do i send him a message explaining everything? i feel like that would tick him off even more.
click to expand


You're probably not gonna like to hear what I think you should do, so we'll skip it. What I do know is you've planted a seed in a very suspicious mind. Trusting you from this point on will be hard for him.
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|^^^^My post is probably very late, but eh, that's my
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Posted by samjones
you think he will dump me if i continue to give him space? obviously i'm never sending him drunk texts again after this incident! lol!
but i know that if i send him a message it will make him think im insecure because i keep bringing it up. so i'm thinking of waiting it out...the ball is in his court, and until he messages me, i won't message him. it's so hard, because it really was the perfect story---he's very sensitive and i don't want to see him hurt. it hurts me that i hurt him, but telling him that isnt making it any better. i asked him if he's done with me and he said he's not done, but its going to take him a long time to trust me again. not to mention we live two hours away from each other. i really want this to work because i really care about him, but bringing it up will ruin things, i think. what do you think?


Well, if he says he's not done, that's a good thing.
If you do message him don't make it about how bad you feel, wanting to move past this, missing him, etc. because all of that is about you. Be very honest about what all of that was about. Was it insecurity? Testing his feelings for you because you have been hurt? Trying to control the relationship? something else I haven't mentioned? Whatever it is, discuss that. He will probably respond better to that than text that seem like its all about what you want when you are the one that started this mess.
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Posted by samjones
no no no i didnt say i was not drunk enough.
i said i was drunk and said some things that did NOT happen. i said i was trying to make men have sex with me and turning them down but what was really happening was that men were hitting on me and i was turning them down. in my drunk state of mind, i thought it would be funny to text him that. my words got messed up, and i absolutely was not trying to get men to hav sex with me. i hate men, they're all pigs.
i've told him i didn't mean it, and that losing him would be horrific.
i've only been honest with him. i would never lie to him.


Now you're being dramatic. Stop. If all men are pigs, why are you running after this one? You have lied to him, isn't what this whole thread is about? When you make statements like those above it makes you sound dishonest. Your Scorp is gonna be analyzing every. single. word. you. utter. and if you contradict yourself it is less likely he will come back. Stop being dramatic to prove something to him and be about something for him.
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Posted by Nemesis
Posted by samjones
no no no i didnt say i was not drunk enough.
i've only been honest with him. i would never lie to him.


^^ contradiction. right there lol.
anyhow, i have no time for this. good luck.
click to expand


Okay, someone beat me to it. See what I mean? If we see it, trust your Scorp will too.
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Posted by samjones
you're right. i'm going to leave him alone and let him make the first move. how do you suggest i make it up to him?


If you have to ask this perhaps you're not ready to get back together. You can't make it up, it happened, it's done. You can make sure you don't do this or something like this again. That would be the only way to "make it up" to a Scorp.
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I'm gonna stop typing now. I'm sure this has all been covered, and my walls and wall of text makes it look like I'm having a conversation with myself . Good luck Sam Jones !
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Posted by samjones
i'm not backpeddling. i understand what i did was wrong, and that i need to come to terms with it myself before any progress can happen. i'm also not a lunatic drunk. i'm usually very well composed when drinking. i just had a little too much lol.

however, that doesnt excuse what i said. and i am telling you guys the truth, exactly what i told him. if someone sent me that text, i can honestly tell you i would laugh. and i would listen to them explain why they sent it and yes i may be mad for some time but i would realize it was supposed to be a joke.
that answers that question.
next....you're right. i'm not a stage 5 clinger, but he was before this being distant. and i do give him space, but we live two states apart. whenever i'm home i expect to see him and he would never make the attempt to see me. i felt like we were hanging on by a string. but there's no way in hell i can tell him this, he wouldnt get it. i need to be more sincere and patient with him, if i really want him back. im horrible with men, in case you couldnt tell.


He will believe it, just don't use that as an excuse to justify what you did. If and when he talks to you and he asks why you did it, then own your insecurity. Own that you were feeling slighted and didn't communicate your needs, but acted on them in a stupid way.
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Posted by samjones
question for all of you:
i may be having dinner with him next week. how do i go about apologizing? for different people it's always different.


Lawd, okay now I am out. Smh.
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Posted by samjones
.... and if he chooses to contact me, then that's fine. if not, then his loss.




What egotistical bullshit is this? Women say this because they can't handle the truth ...
There is no loss to him, he fucking left you because he did NOT want you .... you are the one in here crying about a loss = him. So, instead of facing the truth, which is ... you felt neglected by him, so decided to try and make him jealous with a silly little juvenile high schooler game of attention, it backfired in your face, and now you came here to seek redemption by trying to manipulate US into believing you were too drunk to know what you were saying.
You aren't a loss ... you aren't a keeper. so, to say "his loss" is only in place so you can continue to be That Cunt, and not have to own what you did.
How do women actually believe it is a man's loss if he doesn't want her when the reason why he doesn't want her is because she's a fuck up? Women are so fucked up like this, and it's the likely reason why they are always experiencing a loss in relationships ... because they have no grasp on reality.
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Posted by Pecheresse
You should just do him a favor and get out of his life.



Bingo has been called !!
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Posted by ellessque
she's just being nasty. it doesn't mean anything. it was an insult.
don't go into dinner only thinking about apologizing.
go into dinner open minded and prepared for questions.
be as honest as you can. don't defend yourself, just state facts.



Please don't speak for me elle. You do enough damage for yourself.
If you think he's going to call you for a date next week just have a plan B back up to do something else, there's at least a 95% chance he won't.
After what's taken place it's highly doubtful.
Be on your toes if he does.
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"what if he thinks im being too "fake"?"

We don't think it...we know it when we see it. So don't be.
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"also, what if he does not contact me in the week leading up to dinner."

That would be the "glimmer" I spoke of earlier. Don't call him unless you want to hear him say he'll call and take you out next week.
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I think that OP may want to self-reflect as to why to she was out drunk in a public place without her Scorpio man. My experience with Scorpio men is that they like their SOs to conduct themselves as ladies at all times. You behavior does not sound as though it was ladylike.
I am not trying to come across as judgmental about your character on a whole, however I do question your judgement. It may be too late for your relationship with the Scorpio but you have learned a powerful lesson. Focus your energy on bringing your overall vibrational level up and do not worry about whether or not the Scorpio will come back. Concentrate on being worthy of a quality man's time and attention.
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hey guys. so a few months has passed since the event and i want to know your opinion on where we are right now:
he reached out to me a few times, just to say hi and wish me a happy 420 but i have not seen him in person since that night.
we live two hours away from each other so whenever i'm in town i let him know--however he never really agrees to see him and is always like "meh". on top of it, he's posting everywhere that women are inherently going to fuck everyone over. i didnt fuck him over. i think to him he is exaggerating this in his head and there's nothing i can say or do to make him change his mind, even if i tell him the truth he will think i'm lying. also i dont want to bring the topic back up again.
its weird because i was in town this weekend and asked him if he wanted to have drinks after work and he didnt reply. then i went out to drink that night and posted a picture of myself drinking and he "liked" it. i don't get it! its like he can reach me but i can't reach him. but why didn't he just cut the cord if he doesnt want to see me? why is he still slowly talking to me?
the one thing i can say is that i don't share my personal business on twitter or facebook, and would never say if i was sad or mad. he always does. it's like the pity party pitched a tent in town.
i also tried talking to him a few weeks ago and he shot back with one word answers. so i said i'm not playing these games, i would appreciate a normal conversation between us.
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Posted by Stinger Baby
just move on with your life. it seems like you're chasing him now but he doesnt want the pursuit. he drew back from you and is now dealing with you on a light basis. it is what it is.
i think you're being insensitive about the matter. scorps dont like opening up as is because we know ppl will most likely use what we tell them against us. he told you about his past issues, and i'll be damned if you didnt play off his pains like it was a joke. now you're acting like he's wrong because he feels slighted and is letting it be known. not trying to bring up old shit, but this man has a right to feel how he does. some things scorpios just do not joke about, and matters of the heart, cheating, and disrespect are the main three. you may not have physically cheated, but having a careless attitude and joking about it to a guy that's been hurt isnt the wisest thing you could do.
it feels to me that he saw some potential in you once upon a time - that's why he even bothered to share with you in the first place. but after your part was played, he began rethinking about the kind of person you were, and his mind began comparing you to the past wrong doers. he knew he didnt want to risk going thru crap again, so to play it safe he withdrew from you. so now you're on the associate level - a few hi and byes, small chit chat, and a few likes on fb. while his mind is still battling, you might be played to the left a bit. but if he decides a mistake is a mistake, and you clearly learned from it, he may slowly work his way back to you. there is nothing you can do apart from showing that you wont play anymore immature games like that again. dont bring it up, dont grovel because that's just annoying, and dont be callous to him because you think he doesnt have a right to feel what he does. leave it alone and let the situation do what it will.


+1
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