Scorpio Man - Dessert or Disaster?

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by novscorp23 on Friday, December 18, 2015 and has 27 replies.
I am a Scorpio woman born 11/10. About a month ago I met a Scorpio man born 11/15.We met in an online dating site and within 5 days we met in person. From the moment I met him I knew he was the one. He understands me in ways that nobody ever has. Our personalities are so similar that it's scary. He doesn't believe in astrology but I definitely do. He's told me time and time again that he REALLY likes me and the feeling is mutual. We're both looking for marriage and we both have kids from previous relationships. We don't get to spend a lot of time together because of obligations and the distance, but when we are together we're inseparable. I am falling for him very quickly. He wants our kids to meet each other and have a play date but I have my reservations because we just met. I decided to withdraw a little, in the typical Scorpio fashion because I'm falling too fast. I know he likes me but he has reservations as well because of the distance and I know I'm not his only option. I can tell he likes me but I also know he has a wall up with me. I know he might have other options because he still gets on the dating site daily. I do, too, but at the end of the day my main focus is him. I feel like he is not willing to compromise when it comes to the distance thing and I'm open to travel because it's only like 15 miles and we both have cars. Sometimes I feel like he's making excuses? I've never dated a Scorpio man. I would like to persue him all the way, but I don't want to put my heart in something only to be hurt. Idk what to think because he tells me he likes me a lot but he's unwilling to compromise. Can anybody help me? I'm trying to be patient and I'm trying not to be overbearing. Please help. Idk what I should do.
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Desert or disaster? DISASTER

As for what you should do ... Mirror him, watch him, study him... Make sure he's going to do what it takes to keep you
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It's all about possession for Scorpio and not psychically like a Taurus but mentally/emotionally.
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Yes I am aware of that as I am a very possessive Scorpio woman. I feel the connection. We are studying each other. He mirrors me. It's sort of a competition in a way. It's weird. I can't explain it. But because we're so alike I expect things to go wrong lol
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Lol well I was dealing with a Scorp guy once and lets just say he now has a new born and still is trying to contact me and was even waiting in front of my house to say hi. (Couple months ago) my Scorpio best friend dated a Scorpio guy and it ended because they would fight a lot (it's expected with this match) and she cheated with a cancer -___-.

The gf of the Scorpio guy I dated before is a Scorpio and they are a disaster.

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It can work though so I hope he comes around I am sure you're amazing
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I always hear that these matches start off really well and end in disaster. The Scorpio match is connected by their good traits but then it goes sour because they are too alike in the negative ways. Equally as possessive and jealous and vindictive. I really really like him. I just wish he wasn't so stubborn. It's annoying.
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I'm a Scorpio woman and find that your experience is typical between two scorps, at least for me. It's hard, and communication is not easy, but I think it's the key thing to get things rolling.

You just need to be honest with him about your feelings and reservations. If he is on the same page, he will want to continue moving forward with you. That is the only way to know. VERBAL communication. You're right it's like both scorps know what's up and just keep playing the game until
It gets stale, doesn't go anywhere or turns ugly.

Go for him, but don't be a fool to any games. i feel when 2 scorps hit it off it feels like you've met your match but I think the intensity can be too much and we feel it might be better to find someone "easier".
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Isn't this a sting fest in the works what happens when things turn sour you two go at it stinging each other till one gives up? You will be the one to start it, in my experience Scorpio women are far far more viscous than Scorp men. The guys that I know who are Scorpios are easy going they are polar opposites of Scorpio women I've never seen a vindictive side come out of a Scorp man.

Its been said already but it can be walking on eggshells with Scorpio women which gets extremely tiring you have to watch what you say, I know I got tired of it constantly aware of what I say and do.

As I said it will be you that will start the fight that will end the relationship.
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Damn.. It seems like nothing good will come of this...
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Posted by WhiteChocolate
"I feel like he is not willing to compromise when it comes to the distance thing and I'm open to travel because it's only like 15 miles and we both have cars."

-_-



LOL.

That relationship will travel far.
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Posted by WhiteChocolate
Either 15 is a typo or that guy is lazy as hell.


Online dating sites to meet locals, next door.
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If it's only 15 miles, the distance/travel thing is definitely an excuse... and a very silly one. But giving him the benefit of the doubt this situationship is only a month old, he may not move at the same pace as you.
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15 miles is not a typo. I drove to him in 30 minutes on the street. On the freeway it takes 15-20. On public transit it takes about an hour. He's making excuses but then wants our kids to play together. I don't get it. He's backwards. That's what made me withdraw a little bit. But then when I told him I was going to cool it off a bit he was all sad but then he said he understood. But he still texts me daily. I have to look at it from both perspectives. I know if I want to see someone I'll make no excuses. He says he wants to take me on a date and get to know me but for long term the distance is a problem. It's not that far. Honestly I think he's using the distance excuse as a form of control. And plus he thinks I'm going to go back to my ex (my children's father). Although he doesn't admit it, I think that's the real reason he's being so elusive. He's mentioned it before.
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He always asks me why don't i make it work with my ex. Like he's trying to screw things up for us before it even starts (self-destructive Scorpio trait). I keep telling him no I'm not but he feels that at any moment I'm going to go back to my ex and there will be no place for him. I think it's BS because I'm an all-or- nothing type of gal. I know for a fact if I went back to my ex I wouldn't be able to give my all anymore. I'm trying to persue this Scorpio man and he just wants to sabotage it.. That's what seems to be happening.
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Posted by novscorp23
*a whole bunch of flowery words*....*self doubt*....*doubt about his commitment although I'm not all in either* ... I feel like he is not willing to compromise when it comes to the distance thing and I'm open to travel because it's only like 15 miles and we both have cars. Sometimes I feel like he's making excuses? I've never dated a Scorpio man. I would like to persue him all the way, but I don't want to put my heart in something only to be hurt. Idk what to think because he tells me he likes me a lot but he's unwilling to compromise.

Then stay stuck in limbo. As a Scorp you know how this works, we don't go all in if the other person is hesitant through action and/or deed. He is viewing you in a similar fashion. You're still on a dating site, yet talking about not wanting to be hurt. Basically, you want him to come full force, take he lead and be all in before you make your decision. Scorps are so passive in so many respects and assertive in others. I get it, but I don't.

One of the challenges with water-water pairing is someone will have to take the lead. Someone has to be willing to be to put themselves out there first. Risk getting "hurt" to see where it goes. As an aside, how can this man truly hurt you? You like him, he turns out to be he wrong guy you will not crumble into a pile of dust. Yes I get it, Scorps feel so deeply. They also recover quite well if they put their mind to it.

Don't do the kids meeting thing. That sounds a little a** backwards. I mean you guys can't even commit to each their yet you want your kids to meet? To what end?
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Posted by novscorp23
15 miles is not a typo. I drove to him in 30 minutes on the street....

Geeze, I thought 15 miles was a typo too.
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Posted by novscorp23
15 miles is not a typo. I drove to him in 30 minutes on the street. On the freeway it takes 15-20. On public transit it takes about an hour. He's making excuses but then wants our kids to play together. I don't get it. He's backwards. That's what made me withdraw a little bit. But then when I told him I was going to cool it off a bit he was all sad but then he said he understood. But he still texts me daily. I have to look at it from both perspectives. I know if I want to see someone I'll make no excuses. He says he wants to take me on a date and get to know me but for long term the distance is a problem. It's not that far. Honestly I think he's using the distance excuse as a form of control. And plus he thinks I'm going to go back to my ex (my children's father). Although he doesn't admit it, I think that's the real reason he's being so elusive. He's mentioned it before.

Okay, there's clearly more info you left out.
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Exactly. That's why I don't want our children to meet. He doesn't understand that. I don't want a man to meet my kids unless we're serious. I think the "take the lead" thing is challenging since we're both Scorpios and like to be in control. My ex is a water sign (Pisces) and I had to take the lead too much because he just simply goes with the flow and he was very very lazy. I thought maybe dating a Scorpio would do me some good because I like when a man takes charge, but it's weird.
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Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by novscorp23
15 miles is not a typo. I drove to him in 30 minutes on the street. On the freeway it takes 15-20. On public transit it takes about an hour. He's making excuses but then wants our kids to play together. I don't get it. He's backwards. That's what made me withdraw a little bit. But then when I told him I was going to cool it off a bit he was all sad but then he said he understood. But he still texts me daily. I have to look at it from both perspectives. I know if I want to see someone I'll make no excuses. He says he wants to take me on a date and get to know me but for long term the distance is a problem. It's not that far. Honestly I think he's using the distance excuse as a form of control. And plus he thinks I'm going to go back to my ex (my children's father). Although he doesn't admit it, I think that's the real reason he's being so elusive. He's mentioned it before.

Okay, there's clearly more info you left out.
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Yeah... I didn't think about that... He's jealous of my ex because I told him we were still friends. But we have kids together so I'd like to keep thinks cordial. But I don't want him!
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Posted by Alpha
Posted by novscorp23
He always asks me why don't i make it work with my ex. Like he's trying to screw things up for us before it even starts (self-destructive Scorpio trait). I keep telling him no I'm not but he feels that at any moment I'm going to go back to my ex and there will be no place for him. I think it's BS because I'm an all-or- nothing type of gal. I know for a fact if I went back to my ex I wouldn't be able to give my all anymore. I'm trying to persue this Scorpio man and he just wants to sabotage it.. That's what seems to be happening.


No, that's not what's happening. He's testing you. He's insecure. But that's not all about it. As I've already explained, your relationship with him won't last long if he doesn't adjust. And, now that you've already started to withdraw, that clears a lot of things. Don't push yourself and observe. If I were you, I'd leave him immediately and go on with my life. Remember, Scorps don't know the meaning of the word 'compromise' when it comes to relationships (even if it involves your kids). So, don't head towards that direction. Good luck!
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I'm offended lol. I can compromise when I want to.
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Ok. Yeah that makes sense. Since he's not willing to compromise I shouldn't either. Then we'll just be two stubborn mofos who both won't budge. Oh, well. On to the next? But he's so handsome and sweet... I have to be honest with myself though.
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Posted by femme
If it's only 15 miles, the distance/travel thing is definitely an excuse... and a very silly one. But giving him the benefit of the doubt this situationship is only a month old, he may not move at the same pace as you.



I thought about that. Maybe that's him just putting his guard up. But at the same time... If I can travel to see him then he can come see me. Give what you receive.
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Posted by Alpha
Posted by novscorp23
Ok. Yeah that makes sense. Since he's not willing to compromise I shouldn't either. Then we'll just be two stubborn mofos who both won't budge. Oh, well. On to the next? But he's so handsome and sweet... I have to be honest with myself though.


Can I use the word 'careful' instead of 'stubborn', especially for your side? Thanks!
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Yes. That works. We both say we're very cautious. Eventually one of us has to either give in or walk away.
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Posted by Alpha
Posted by novscorp23
Posted by Alpha
Posted by novscorp23
Ok. Yeah that makes sense. Since he's not willing to compromise I shouldn't either. Then we'll just be two stubborn mofos who both won't budge. Oh, well. On to the next? But he's so handsome and sweet... I have to be honest with myself though.


Can I use the word 'careful' instead of 'stubborn', especially for your side? Thanks!



Yes. That works. We both say we're very cautious. Eventually one of us has to either give in or walk away.


Yeah, it's mostly about who gives in first among 2 Scorps. An evolved one can understand and is willing to compromise but it also depends on a lot of things. One can't neglect the things that are going on in your relationship. More importantly coz it's a new relationship and is still at its beginning. So, it's best to be cautious.
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What's your sign?
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Do a Scorpio lol
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So**
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