Scorpio man
This topic was created in the No Contact forum by Taurusgirllove on Wednesday, September 21, 2016 and has 8 replies.
I met a Scorpio man online while he was in the US for business. We were going to meet while he was here but then I had to travel for work so it didn't happen. We had an immediate, crazy, intense and beautiful connection on so many levels and we both said it felt like we had already known rah other in past lives.
I didn't have high expectations and just let things flow naturally. He went back abroad (he lives all over since he has an international business), and was still calling me every day, talking about all our possibilities together, and even said I inspired him to finally get his PH.D. at a famous university near me (which had been his dream for a long time). This goes on for about two months, where we almost felt like we were already a couple even before meeting, even though both of us are very sensual/physical (him being Scorpio and me being a Taurus female), and he even told me he loves me (maybe should have been a red flag but we were talking and connecting so much about our pasts, present and what we want in our future, so it felt natural and I felt I love him too.
I know he's dealing with his mom who has Alzheimer's and his father who's not helping and also puts a lot of pressure on him about his business. In the past month, he went from calling and wanting to hear my voice everyday, opening up to me about so much in his life, being so loving and talking about our potential future and when/how we can meet, etc. to gradually stopping the phone calls and mostly just sending brief texts that are very neutral, not curious about me at all and not much mention about "us" anymore, coming here or making any time for us to keep getting to know each other.
I told him that confused and hurt me since it felt like we were getting so close and connection then this detachment didn't make sense. He said the feelings are still the same, but just the communication type is different (for now, but that it will be the same again soon after this month)? He then casually tells me after backing off so much and not seeming to want to continue with me or pursue this (he'd even talked about where we would live, if our chemistry is as strong in person, etc.) that he's finally decided to sell his company. I never knew he was considering that seriously but it made me happy as I thought it was also so he could move here to the US, do his PH.D., and see if we are meant to be together.
But he still seemed so disengaged. He sad he's under a lot of pressure, freaking out about what will happen to everything he has and is behind in preparing to apply for his Ph.D. I can understand all this, and have read a lot about Scorpio males, which yes he is extremely intense, pseudo are, dramatic and can easily go from hot to cold making ng it feel like I'm talking to two different people. I just don't understand why (if all of that is true, and he still loves/cares about me as much as someone can who hasn't met you yet, and still wants to move this connection forward) he would stop calling except maybe once a week, stop mentioning all the things before about "love, connection, trust, feeling like we're already together, etc. and just seem to "check in" by text like out of obligation seemingly instead of being excited like before about us.
I know as a Taurus I can be stubborn, get scared when I'm afraid I'm losing something or someone I care about, and need consistency, open communication, honesty and affection to feel connected, which I did until now. So I did sometimes get offended by this change, tell him it doesn't feel natural anymore since we weren't sharing like before and got upset a few times that he just talks "business" updates to me, nothing else because I couldn't tel if he had changed his mind about us suddenly for whatever reason or is truly going through a hard situation and in his way testing me to see if I will stay around.
So after about a month of that, 2 weeks ago he got the flu and was saying things are the same between us which I disagreed and didn't understand all his words about "dealing with his mom, dad, selling his business and being behind on his Phd preparation, that he has a certain mental capacity, and can't go further right now"...so he got upset at me for not worrying about him being sick and instead persisting about this detachment. He was supposed to cal me that night but didn't and stopped all contact for 4 days.
So I gave him and myself some space to process all this craziness, falling for someone we haven't even met yet and trying to make sense of my true feelings without anger, blame or asking for an explanation. I sent him a very transparent, unfiltered and from the heart email telling him I love him, felt such an amazing connection I still want to explore together, and that my reactions were because it felt like we both wanted the same things but then when it changed suddenly without really talking to me about why unless I told him I was hurt by it, that I can understand if he's in a difficult period that he's not obligated to talk to me about it (even if he did before) and that I will give him space.
He responded quickly to thank me and said he appreciated my email, and asked me to be patient for a reply as he prefers to write to me when he fees more himself instead of a frustrated, stressed, angry businessman who is selling his business and recovering from a long flu. It was very short with no words about us, loving me, etc. that was 10 days ago and still no word from him.
My main question is, even though this could be a general human situation as I know men need to go to their "cave" sometimes to deal with pressure, emotions, etc, is how to understand if he's being honest and still wants to pursue "us" once he's dealt with this stuff (as previously he said just to be patient with him for this month, even though he started detaching a bit before that) or if he backing off this way to make me understand we are over (even if we haven't technically started yet)? Since I know Scorpio men are basically all in or all out, will test us, can get so focused on one thing at a time, and can get hurt easily even if they won't show it...I'm trying to gauge if giving him this space and not contacting him at all would help the situation and our connection potentially, or if I'm just being a fool letting him back off cowardly without having to confront me???
Deep down I feel/felt so close to him and want to see if we are meant to be so I'm trying to let go and see if he comes back. But the logical side of me says maybe he already moved on without telling me, in taut case, I should also move on now and tell him so for closure. Maybe 10 days doesn't seem long for some people, but for two people who haven't met in person yet, but have opened up so much with each other in a few months and are still getting to know each other, stopping all communication like this without really knowing the reason fees like a lifetime. Specially as I would not do this to someone I care about and want to date, but obviously we are all different...
Any words of wisdom, experience with it from Scorpios, and honest reactions are appreciated...I know this is long so thanks in advance for reading it!
I didn't have high expectations and just let things flow naturally. He went back abroad (he lives all over since he has an international business), and was still calling me every day, talking about all our possibilities together, and even said I inspired him to finally get his PH.D. at a famous university near me (which had been his dream for a long time). This goes on for about two months, where we almost felt like we were already a couple even before meeting, even though both of us are very sensual/physical (him being Scorpio and me being a Taurus female), and he even told me he loves me (maybe should have been a red flag but we were talking and connecting so much about our pasts, present and what we want in our future, so it felt natural and I felt I love him too.
I know he's dealing with his mom who has Alzheimer's and his father who's not helping and also puts a lot of pressure on him about his business. In the past month, he went from calling and wanting to hear my voice everyday, opening up to me about so much in his life, being so loving and talking about our potential future and when/how we can meet, etc. to gradually stopping the phone calls and mostly just sending brief texts that are very neutral, not curious about me at all and not much mention about "us" anymore, coming here or making any time for us to keep getting to know each other.
I told him that confused and hurt me since it felt like we were getting so close and connection then this detachment didn't make sense. He said the feelings are still the same, but just the communication type is different (for now, but that it will be the same again soon after this month)? He then casually tells me after backing off so much and not seeming to want to continue with me or pursue this (he'd even talked about where we would live, if our chemistry is as strong in person, etc.) that he's finally decided to sell his company. I never knew he was considering that seriously but it made me happy as I thought it was also so he could move here to the US, do his PH.D., and see if we are meant to be together.
But he still seemed so disengaged. He sad he's under a lot of pressure, freaking out about what will happen to everything he has and is behind in preparing to apply for his Ph.D. I can understand all this, and have read a lot about Scorpio males, which yes he is extremely intense, pseudo are, dramatic and can easily go from hot to cold making ng it feel like I'm talking to two different people. I just don't understand why (if all of that is true, and he still loves/cares about me as much as someone can who hasn't met you yet, and still wants to move this connection forward) he would stop calling except maybe once a week, stop mentioning all the things before about "love, connection, trust, feeling like we're already together, etc. and just seem to "check in" by text like out of obligation seemingly instead of being excited like before about us.
I know as a Taurus I can be stubborn, get scared when I'm afraid I'm losing something or someone I care about, and need consistency, open communication, honesty and affection to feel connected, which I did until now. So I did sometimes get offended by this change, tell him it doesn't feel natural anymore since we weren't sharing like before and got upset a few times that he just talks "business" updates to me, nothing else because I couldn't tel if he had changed his mind about us suddenly for whatever reason or is truly going through a hard situation and in his way testing me to see if I will stay around.
So after about a month of that, 2 weeks ago he got the flu and was saying things are the same between us which I disagreed and didn't understand all his words about "dealing with his mom, dad, selling his business and being behind on his Phd preparation, that he has a certain mental capacity, and can't go further right now"...so he got upset at me for not worrying about him being sick and instead persisting about this detachment. He was supposed to cal me that night but didn't and stopped all contact for 4 days.
So I gave him and myself some space to process all this craziness, falling for someone we haven't even met yet and trying to make sense of my true feelings without anger, blame or asking for an explanation. I sent him a very transparent, unfiltered and from the heart email telling him I love him, felt such an amazing connection I still want to explore together, and that my reactions were because it felt like we both wanted the same things but then when it changed suddenly without really talking to me about why unless I told him I was hurt by it, that I can understand if he's in a difficult period that he's not obligated to talk to me about it (even if he did before) and that I will give him space.
He responded quickly to thank me and said he appreciated my email, and asked me to be patient for a reply as he prefers to write to me when he fees more himself instead of a frustrated, stressed, angry businessman who is selling his business and recovering from a long flu. It was very short with no words about us, loving me, etc. that was 10 days ago and still no word from him.
My main question is, even though this could be a general human situation as I know men need to go to their "cave" sometimes to deal with pressure, emotions, etc, is how to understand if he's being honest and still wants to pursue "us" once he's dealt with this stuff (as previously he said just to be patient with him for this month, even though he started detaching a bit before that) or if he backing off this way to make me understand we are over (even if we haven't technically started yet)? Since I know Scorpio men are basically all in or all out, will test us, can get so focused on one thing at a time, and can get hurt easily even if they won't show it...I'm trying to gauge if giving him this space and not contacting him at all would help the situation and our connection potentially, or if I'm just being a fool letting him back off cowardly without having to confront me???
Deep down I feel/felt so close to him and want to see if we are meant to be so I'm trying to let go and see if he comes back. But the logical side of me says maybe he already moved on without telling me, in taut case, I should also move on now and tell him so for closure. Maybe 10 days doesn't seem long for some people, but for two people who haven't met in person yet, but have opened up so much with each other in a few months and are still getting to know each other, stopping all communication like this without really knowing the reason fees like a lifetime. Specially as I would not do this to someone I care about and want to date, but obviously we are all different...
Any words of wisdom, experience with it from Scorpios, and honest reactions are appreciated...I know this is long so thanks in advance for reading it!
You've never met him ?? And he lives abroad ? And he has you gone in the head like this...he's good.
Don't worry about the astrology stuff...you need to look at yourself and ask why are you giving so much to a stranger you've never met
Don't worry about the astrology stuff...you need to look at yourself and ask why are you giving so much to a stranger you've never met
happyface1, no we haven't met yet in person as our irk travel schedules haven't made it possible yet then the change in communication, so I haven't pushed for it recently...never thought I'd be someone who could start a potential "relationship" or this kind of connection online without meeting for a while, but here we are...
Posted by Taurusgirllove
happyface1, no we haven't met yet in person as our irk travel schedules haven't made it possible yet then the change in communication, so I haven't pushed for it recently...never thought I'd be someone who could start a potential "relationship" or this kind of connection online without meeting for a while, but here we are...
re-read it I added more...you seem really smart...I hope you find someone closer to you distance wise
happyface1, sorry your full message wasn't loading before. Yea, you're completely on point! Not sure why I am either, but it t really felt like we were already together for so long (we'd both joked about that a lot before) and I lived that we were so unfiltered with each other not trying to be perfect so I appreciated that he opened up to me so much. But yea, now I guess I can't really blame him so much as I also allowed it to move quickly and get intense, and also allowed him to detach, and also allowed him to stop communication while still being supportive. I guess I felt our connection was more on a level of someone I'd been with for a long time. And believe me, if I read someone wake saying this I would think it's a bit out there, but then I found myself in the situation and now I fee him inside me in the craziest way!
Posted by Taurusgirllove
happyface1, sorry your full message wasn't loading before. Yea, you're completely on point! Not sure why I am either, but it t really felt like we were already together for so long (we'd both joked about that a lot before) and I lived that we were so unfiltered with each other not trying to be perfect so I appreciated that he opened up to me so much. But yea, now I guess I can't really blame him so much as I also allowed it to move quickly and get intense, and also allowed him to detach, and also allowed him to stop communication while still being supportive. I guess I felt our connection was more on a level of someone I'd been with for a long time. And believe me, if I read someone wake saying this I would think it's a bit out there, but then I found myself in the situation and now I fee him inside me in the craziest way!
You're ok...I think you're just really looking for a deep connection from someone.
It's best to try to find things like that more in your surroundings because someone could take complete advantage of that in different ways if you can't see their everyday life style ...
even if it's a long distance relationship and you may be hours away at least you can still see and get a feel for them. Instead of just going off words.
True...I guess only time will tell. Just thought I was smarter than to just believe words, there really was a warm connection growing and so much talk about future plans that I was supposedly part of...of course we can't just go by words from someone we haven't met yet. But from someone who was making me part of his everyday, talking for hours even from different time zones when we're both traveling and revealing so much if himself, it really was a bit shocking. But I guess a lesson in that anything is possible with someone who isn't really part of our life yet and with that anonymity people can just disappear without remorse at all.
I've just heard soooooooo much about Scorpio men going hot and cold easily, needing their space often without letting you know, testing their potential partners, going off the grid when hurt or angry, and punishing their loved ones when they feel upset by them. And since he admitted that he's not used to getting in touch with someone when he's going through a hard time and that he's been in contact with me more often than with even people he HS dated for a long time...not sure if red flags or he's seriously in a hard time, even though as I said he was still reaching out to me before when things were hard then too :/
I've just heard soooooooo much about Scorpio men going hot and cold easily, needing their space often without letting you know, testing their potential partners, going off the grid when hurt or angry, and punishing their loved ones when they feel upset by them. And since he admitted that he's not used to getting in touch with someone when he's going through a hard time and that he's been in contact with me more often than with even people he HS dated for a long time...not sure if red flags or he's seriously in a hard time, even though as I said he was still reaching out to me before when things were hard then too :/
Thanks EnochTheWise! I'm at good to have multiple perspectives on this topic, which is why I posted it here to get out of my head and hear different sides/approaches. I agree with being patient and letting him show me who he is if this is just a hard time for him. But the main point in that since we haven't even met yet in person it's hard to understand if this is really who he is and we just found each other in an "off" time, or if I'm letting myself be played since he literally went from 100% to 0% before meeting and if this is all I have to go on it's tricky.
Another reason maybe I still have hope for this is thinking we may be "twin flames", but maybe I'm just looking for reasons to not feel that someone I connected with so deeply could just stop all communication for a while. I've been reading up on twin flame relationships and the stages, and some of our situation feels like that since we've also sensed a lot of things that were happening to the other person without knowing that before made me feel really connected, but now it feels like I dreamt all of this with no words, effort or action on his part.
I thought putting my ego and needs aside for a bit to let him get through his problems could help, but with no communication updates or anything I'm completely guessing now...
Another reason maybe I still have hope for this is thinking we may be "twin flames", but maybe I'm just looking for reasons to not feel that someone I connected with so deeply could just stop all communication for a while. I've been reading up on twin flame relationships and the stages, and some of our situation feels like that since we've also sensed a lot of things that were happening to the other person without knowing that before made me feel really connected, but now it feels like I dreamt all of this with no words, effort or action on his part.
I thought putting my ego and needs aside for a bit to let him get through his problems could help, but with no communication updates or anything I'm completely guessing now...
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