Scorpio Question

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by lisbon on Monday, March 20, 2006 and has 8 replies.
I'm a Virgo woman and have been with my Scorpio man for over 3 years--we live together. In the last year things have been rocky with our sex life. Let me start by saying that I do not initiate sex with him--Only one time since we've been together and I was drunk that night--I'm very shy about my body (always have been) and have been very interested in sex with him and love it !! But I simply am not the first person to make the first move..This being said, my man has complained that he feels his self-esteem is getting lower and lower because he comes to me all the time ...we've dwindled down to 2 times a week and now we are doing it 1 time a month. This is not acceptable at all, he hates it and I hate it--things have been soooo tense and he says that he's not asking alot by asking me to initiate the sex. I feel that a man (especially a scorpio--LOL) would never let a month go by or two weeks even--trust me, I get his point, I truly do, but good GOD-- this scorpio of mine -- is he really trying to prove a point or is he going somewhere else? Know aht I mean? This is what worries me. I don't have any reason other than this to think something is going on. I've asked him--he says no. He says he loves me and that he wants sex but he wants to feel that I want him too--he's tired of being the first to initiate all the time. He knows I have initiated in my past relationships (not much initiation on my part, but better than in this relationship) and this pisses him off.. Any ideas here??
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Seems to me he is shutting down to prove a point. I would have a candle light dinner soft music, wine, or what every you dranked the last time you initiate sex, a cute little nittie and serve all of me to him a platter.
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Yep I think you need to do your share lady..or he'll walk..plain and simple..he will get bored..Are you that shy? I mean, you've been with the guy for 3 years now..you should be comfortable with him..and about yourself..
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Haha but regardless of all the people telling you how selfish you're being Lisbon, you also have the right to be how you are, and whatever movements and changes need to be made in your sex-life to accomodate better things you must be able to talk about. If it is hard for you to initiate the sex, then initiate his relation as to why it is hard for you. You can get beyond the real obstacle together smile It doesn't have to be about you fleeing from him in order to get help on how to rise above a hurdle that he rises above time and time again by himself.
Would he not want to help you transform the relationship to better suit the both of you? Scorpios usually do. Would you not want him to be the biggest influence in your sex-life? Try getting the answer from him. What is it that you need? To feel comfortable with initiation? To feel worthy of initiation? Whatever the case, maybe it would be best for him to know what you feel, just so he can be all the more conscious of you.
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Thanks All-- very helpful! I know, I'm the shy, shy Virgo--All true. Low self-esteem with my physical appearance. No low self-esteem with anything else. You've all been a great help..
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Dear lisbon, be bold, overcome your shyness and take the initiative - not just once, but where ever and when ever you can and give your all to him. Tell him that you WANT him and show him that you MELT for him. Scorpio needs to be desired, loved and worshipped !!! You have spent 3 years with him and he must be knowing your body well and then why the shyness ???
He would never have kept coming to you if he did not like what he got from you.So flaunt it just for him !!!
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Lisbon, I was in a relationship with a Scorpio before...and I had a similar situation as yours. My problem was because he didn't give me that confidence to initiate the sex with him. I am a pretty confident person, and totally tuned into my femininity, but I hardly ever felt that comfort with him to initiate the sex. This was one of our biggest problems.
My advice to you is to speak to your bf, and tell him what he could do to make you feel that level of comfort you need in order to initiate the intercourse. Best of luck to you!
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Thanks Shortyrock..Yes, I agree with you. He doesn't make me feel all that confident. Becuase he's feeling bad that I'm not initiating it he says things like "no, i really don't think about sex anymore" "this is the worst situation I've ever been in, no other woman has made me feel this way"
Needless to say, these comments DO NOT make me feel that I can make the "move" on him. I do know one thing, this can't continue this way for either of us..Thanks all!
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