Scorpio says I'm pushing him away
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by MaureenFlori on Thursday, February 26, 2009 and has 25 replies.
I thought Scorpios liked the truth and hate lies. Why is telling him the truth pushing him away?
What's pushing him away Maureen?
I told him that I had cheated on a past boyfriend. He asked me if I ever cheated on someone and I truthfully said I had. Now he says that is pushing him away.
I did tell him I didn't understand, if he rather I'd lied and said no. He said he'd rather I'd never cheated on a past boyfriend, a statement I don't get.
I did tell him I didn't understand, if he rather I'd lied and said no. He said he'd rather I'd never cheated on a past boyfriend, a statement I don't get.
I see ... well it's the truth and it's all that matters really. There is not much you can do about his likes and dislikes, some things about you will get him closer to you and other things about you will push him way. That's just how things are. What's important is that you're both honest with yourselves and each other.
He probably feels insecure now. He asked you wanting to know but at the same time not wanting to know. That's how they can be.
I don't know. I wouldn't feel secure after hearing that either.
I don't know. I wouldn't feel secure after hearing that either.
his question should be filed along with the following questions that you dont really want to know the answer to:
how many people have you been with?
who's your ex?
have you ever made out with your close friend of the opposite sex?
it opens a can of worms that will only make the person who asked feel insecure and paranoid. it's can be draining to have to keep reassuring somebody of your devotion to them when you havent done anything wrong (besides answer a question honestly) but i also know a lot of girls who like their guys to be on the jealous side.
how many people have you been with?
who's your ex?
have you ever made out with your close friend of the opposite sex?
it opens a can of worms that will only make the person who asked feel insecure and paranoid. it's can be draining to have to keep reassuring somebody of your devotion to them when you havent done anything wrong (besides answer a question honestly) but i also know a lot of girls who like their guys to be on the jealous side.
oops. Cheating is a no no in Scorpville. It's hard for us to trust people anyway with out extra to worry about. It was in the past I understand but it's going to take ALOT to get him to trust you. I hate to say it but you might have lost him 
Yes the truth is very important. I'd rather hear the ugly truth then a pretty lie and if someone lied to me to "save" hurting my feelings that is even more enraging. It's a blow to my pride and TO ME it suggest that they think I'm not strong enough to handle "The Truth".
Maybe ask him if he'd have rather you lied about it and he found out by himself later. Tell him you thought he was a big enough person to handle the truth and you trusted him to be understanding. So he dislikes that it happened.... well it happened and you can't change it. Point that out to him. He may sulk but don't let him brow beat you about it. State your side and then tell him to drop it
We dig strong people who aren't afraid to voice their opinions.
Yes the truth is very important. I'd rather hear the ugly truth then a pretty lie and if someone lied to me to "save" hurting my feelings that is even more enraging. It's a blow to my pride and TO ME it suggest that they think I'm not strong enough to handle "The Truth".
Maybe ask him if he'd have rather you lied about it and he found out by himself later. Tell him you thought he was a big enough person to handle the truth and you trusted him to be understanding. So he dislikes that it happened.... well it happened and you can't change it. Point that out to him. He may sulk but don't let him brow beat you about it. State your side and then tell him to drop it
We dig strong people who aren't afraid to voice their opinions.
Some people are of the notion that "Once a cheater always a cheater"
If this be his case and also as a scorp this could be your undoing! I always enquire about past relationships and quite honestly if someone has cheated on a previous partner I definetly take a couple of steps back and review the situation...and I'm a LIbrian.
If this be his case and also as a scorp this could be your undoing! I always enquire about past relationships and quite honestly if someone has cheated on a previous partner I definetly take a couple of steps back and review the situation...and I'm a LIbrian.
He will always juggle with the idea that you may cheat on him too. Give him a valid explanation of why you cheated on this ex guy. I hope you have a good reason to tell and convince scorp man that he has nothing to worry about.
Believe me, we can be paranoid and he will check on every little detail on you to catch the moment if you ever start cheating on HIM. Disloyalty is a big no no for us. I prefer that I'm told boldly that it ended. It hurts but that's what we appreciate: honesty! It hurts way more when we find out someone has played with us. To me, that is an insult to my intellect. I will think you thought I'm stupid. So we rather prefer to face the hard truth.
Believe me, we can be paranoid and he will check on every little detail on you to catch the moment if you ever start cheating on HIM. Disloyalty is a big no no for us. I prefer that I'm told boldly that it ended. It hurts but that's what we appreciate: honesty! It hurts way more when we find out someone has played with us. To me, that is an insult to my intellect. I will think you thought I'm stupid. So we rather prefer to face the hard truth.
What a lie from yourself can get out someone else is always unsure, as it depends on so many things and many of them is really out of your control. One thing for sure though is that, it will turn you into a Liar, now is that what you want for yourself? One's actions can't all be driven by how it makes others feel. Otherwise you'll end up where others would like you to end up, instead of where you'd like to end up. Walk the path to your destiny and everyone walking that path will walk with you. So don't worry about how he'll perceive your truth, if he's sharing your destiny ... he'll be walking with you.
"Walk the path to your destiny and everyone walking that path will walk with you. So don't worry about how he'll perceive your truth, if he's sharing your destiny ... he'll be walking with you."
This is beautiful, Ray's Heart. Thanks for sharing.
This is beautiful, Ray's Heart. Thanks for sharing.
"One's actions can't all be driven by how it makes others feel. "
This is true and simple, yet so hard to do. It's still a challenge for me to not let how I care about someone influence how I treat them.
This is true and simple, yet so hard to do. It's still a challenge for me to not let how I care about someone influence how I treat them.
XFoosMe, I feel you here. But reading Ray's last sentence has really enlightened me. If the people you are truthful with walk away from you, then they do not value who you are. Even if it was your pride, there's nothing wrong with that. You respected yourself and the other person when you told them the truth, especially since they asked you.
Posted by irishlibra___
see ray's heart...i really like you~~!
Thanks IL ...
Posted by pathfinder
"Walk the path to your destiny and everyone walking that path will walk with you. So don't worry about how he'll perceive your truth, if he's sharing your destiny ... he'll be walking with you."
This is beautiful, Ray's Heart. Thanks for sharing.
You're welcome Pathfinder!
Posted by pathfinder
"One's actions can't all be driven by how it makes others feel. "
This is true and simple, yet so hard to do. It's still a challenge for me to not let how I care about someone influence how I treat them.
It's understandable but one should never loose sight of who they are and not lying about yourself is one way to do so. It makes you, "You" and no matter what it appears to be, when someone likes you, that is who he likes ... "You". You are the finish product of an equation, and he fell for that finished product. He may not like some part of the equation but he fell for what came out of it. So really what's needed is understanding on his part, which he will get if he keeps loving you. Now if you lie, you'll become something else, something that he didn't fall for and even though your purpose was to save a relationship, you'll end up loose it.
Posted by XFoosMe
I always thought the truth was of the utmost importance. I always told the truth. Because even if the truth uncovered mistakes of mine...I happily and proudly owned them. Honestly, for me the truth became very selfish because it was about pride. I've learned that sometimes the truth is better kept to myself...especially if the only outcome will be a negative one. My pride has to take a backseat to the bigger picture sometimes.
Being truthful is mostly, you taking care of yourself and no matter what it may seem like in this world. I can tell you that taking care of yourself is more giving to others than it appears to be.
Posted by XFoosMe
I like this comment Ray...
"It's understandable but one should never loose sight of who they are and not lying about yourself is one way to do so."
And I do agree. Maybe I just lost faith in the power of acceptance and understanding. Actually, I've never gotten married and I do know if I had married any of the people in my past it would have been a mistake anyway. So maybe theres still time for me to go back to the way I used to be. Maybe the right man would have been able to deal with my truths and I his.
Understanding and acceptance are very important, see you'll never understand what someone is bringing into your life, if you don't understand what you are about first. As they say "No wind is a good wind, when you don't know where you are going" That's why lying about yourself is very detrimental. It affects you and eventually anything that has to do with you. So goes your present and future.
"I think with the right person the truth will be a beautiful thing again."
Exactly
Exactly
Little white lies are fine...if you are protecting the other person from hurt..
You should've guessed what he was getting at and just denied cheating..I have never cheated on a partner..ever..but if a future boyfriend asks me that question then he has some doubt in his head already..I should NEVER be asked that question, I simply refuse to answer it..the past is the past..I don't live in it, neither will I repeat it..simple..
Love me for who I am, not what I was..
You should've guessed what he was getting at and just denied cheating..I have never cheated on a partner..ever..but if a future boyfriend asks me that question then he has some doubt in his head already..I should NEVER be asked that question, I simply refuse to answer it..the past is the past..I don't live in it, neither will I repeat it..simple..
Love me for who I am, not what I was..
No actually little white lies aren't fine..but there are ways to bend the truth to soften the blow..that's what I meant to say...I hate lies of any sort..He shouldn't have asked that question really..there is always a possibility somebody has cheated during their lifetime..doesn't always make them a cheater..
Yeah poofs!
Posted by Rays Heart
It's understandable but one should never loose sight of who they are and not lying about yourself is one way to do so. It makes you, "You" and no matter what it appears to be, when someone likes you, that is who he likes ... "You". You are the finish product of an equation, and he fell for that finished product. He may not like some part of the equation but he fell for what came out of it. So really what's needed is understanding on his part, which he will get if he keeps loving you. Now if you lie, you'll become something else, something that he didn't fall for and even though your purpose was to save a relationship, you'll end up loose it.
My goodness, Ray's, are you secretly my scorpio hubby? Or are you me? lol. I'm totally living in this world, hon.
"My goodness, Ray's, are you secretly my scorpio hubby? Or are you me? lol. I'm totally living in this world, hon."
Nah ... unfortunately, I'm not married in this life yet but you sound familiar
Nah ... unfortunately, I'm not married in this life yet but you sound familiar
Posted by Rays Heart
Nah ... unfortunately, I'm not married in this life yet but you sound familiar
Rays Heart, you are truly flying outside of the radar.....
???
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