Scorpio woman & Capricorn man

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by scorpgirl27 on Monday, September 17, 2007 and has 32 replies.
Does anyone have any experience with this combo?
I have been on and off with a capricorn for the past 10 months and he frustrates the hell out of me!
Caps are frustrating as well to me as well. I feel as if I never know how to read them, what exactly they feel, etc. They are not very forthcoming and I'm constantly having to read between the lines. Which, Scorps are the same, perhaps it's this idea that Scorps and Caps are both too guarded in many ways? When it comes down to it, I've never lasted long with a Cap, I think I'm the kind of scorpio who needs someone more affectionate and spontaneous, though I do appreciate the aura of strength and stability, protectiveness that I've received from them. However, they plan their moves too much for me. I'm a planner as well, but I'm also very impulsive. I think, though, that there's a lot of respect that goes with this combination, and that's definitely a great aspect about it. What eactly is frustrating you the most about this relationship?
haha ooops, extract the excessive "as well."
I'm a cap dude, what is he doing to frustrate you?
The scorpio girl i've been interested in never tells me what she needs from me, and when I DO do something spontaneous, she never goes along with me.
Perhaps I can give you some insight
LOL!...This could turn into an on/off thing for years to come until the cap has convinced his fragile heart that you won't shatter it to pieces...They are a great match for Scorpio but unfortunately take a gazillion years to get off their ass and do something about it for real...the guarded feelings thing..I wish you the best of luck..you might not need it..but just visit the Cap board where it drove me insane reading stories on the whole on/off thing...Grrrrrrrrr..I do not have the patience....I hope you do..people were waiting years for some guys to make up their mind..my god..insanity..
I so agree MM......I will always remember my almost 2 years with my cap.....I still do love him I just can't be with him...
what a good topic!~ I got a lot to say , but won't say much here. Okay for starters, Caps are so attracted to us and we are attracted to them to an extent because they are stable and laid back , they appear to be cool wit it. I think that the guys are cool. the guys are cool but hella liars, very steady and too laid back , also a bit of a know it all. I think the sign as a whole is , distrustful, naturally skeptical, demeaning and the toot their horns a lot. I think they do however display this whole little, I 'm strong thing often as well. I have ran across a few lately , both women and men , i can deal with the men , not the women. They are bit critical too, remember they are mountain goats, so they feel like they oversea everything and that their validation means something. They are very calculated and critical as hell, never relaxing , over thinking always, i think that;s why they're sooo laid back, the are overwhelemed with their thoughts. I recently read that psychic sylvia thinks they are the strongest sign in the zodiac, I laughed and said to myself, be gone>>. She also said , no disrespect that, she thinks Jesus is a scorpio. Anyhow i don't mix spiritual with earthly opinions , however the capricorn opinion of hers scared me for a mintue. I do notice that they can be a bit in your face with it,for example my gay guy friend is a capricorn and he is an agressive thing. I have had and met a few and they love me, but don't last a second with me~ They don't have what it takes. Also, they seem to attract and link up with leo's a lot. Remeber scorpios deals with things beneath the surface, we're deep, they are mountain goats dealing with the sceme of things, surfaced. From the root to the fruit! you can't get to the fruit without first having a root.
Well I'm scorp and the biggest love of my life was a Capricorn...All those things exactly happened with us. Astrology must make sense in a way!
scorpgirl , you are too good for that , like missmorals says on her page, "I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him. girl , i know it's hard but find out what you dislike as far as romantically and it will help you to stay focused onn what you do like. Now that you've said more, i see that it has nothing to do with his sign , but all to do with gender. Remember , you are a lady, not a man, The man is to pursue you , not the other way around, Let him be a man and you sit back and be the jule that you are. If he doesn't pursue you, then guess what? He's not stepping up the way u wish for him to. I think the anxiety you are feeling is stemming from feeling scared that he may not step up if you don't do it for him. gots nothing to do with his sign. Also to saggit, i don;t think scorps are private because we are guarded , it's just that people don;t undersatnd therefore they must learn to patiently wait or be picked as the chosen one. Also, maybe theres a conflict between the two signs because capricorns are naturally skeptical and we are mysterious , bad combination
scorpgirl, fuck that, you are better than question marks. You are worth an exclamation mark. Let the man reveal his self and come for you. As saggit said, the thrill of chasing is the bomb to guys. Fluming_scorp, you sound pitiful , no offenses in the sense that all women sound that way when there in a relationship with someone who is not treating them as they wish. You are worth the chase. Remember ,I use to go through all this stuff, and worked hard to get to this level, why, because you get tired of looking in the mirror and saying" yeah, i'd do me" or " I am beautiful" and then getting rejected in a way that contradicts your confidence. screw that.. I'm worth the boxing match. aka the fight
WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS MISCONSTRUDE WHAT I SAY. WHAT I MEANT BY " YOU ARE WORTH THE BOXING MATCH, AKA THE FIGHT" MEANS THAT YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR. U ARE WORTH THE FIGHT, AND THAT ANY MAN SHOULD BE WILLING TO GO THROUGH THE PITS TO KEEP U IF HE NEEDED TO. GODLY , DON'T MISS MY POINT
atlantic myst , caps are boring...They be killing me.... They got so many issues, stick with the scorps
I'm a cap guy frustrated by a scorp girl. Yes, I have done all the things described, and holding back is one of them. I would say the main reason I was holding back is because I was unsure of her commitment to me. She would be playing the field so to speak, but would have me around as well. I'm not great at being a persuer if i'm not getting any feedback from them.
Scorp27, are you sure you didn't have any other guys around? Ex's? I read some of your stuff on other posts and it doesn't appear so. It just seems like he wants something serious from you but totally isn't sure of your motives. ah.
you know, one of my ex's told me I needed to find someone who was going to be patient with me, and I think that rings true for most capricorn males.
You're right scorp27, we really are looking for someone for the distance. I wish this guy would just throw caution into the wind, you seem like a smart girl, and are willing to understand him. cheers for you.
I think he is serioius about the friendship, keep in contact, you might still have to do the persuing but don't let him take advantage of you.
That's a good point. And I'm all about evolving.
But it's kind of like scorpgirl said, I'm 30 so I don't see women now as just playthings, even though I want to be independent, I'm looking for something a little longer lasting. Of course my friends want to be bachelors for life, and while that SOUNDS fun and exciting, there's nothing like two people just "getting" each other.
BUT-- at the same time, a guy is not going to just come out and say, "I want this to be forever". Even if they MAY be thinking that, hopefully they are wise enough to know that there are many pitfalls and crazy things that can come up. Like with this scorp I'm interested in, I have a hard time believing she wants me to just come out and basically say "it's forever" so early on... yet that's what she seems to be doing.
Maybe my view of women these days is skewed, I see many of them as just wanting to play the field and not be tied down. When you find one that seems to be different, it's kind of hard to accept.
Actually you're right about the sincerity. I told this scorp I didn't want her to move away and I don't think she bought it. She may have though I was just trying to get with her before she split.... which isn't true.
Actions over words, every time.
Eh, whatever. Would have lightened my mood more if you said, "hey, lighten up!"
I'm over it.
I'm not sure what you're saying. What I said was true... I don't know you and you don't know me and here I am with a post about something that's bugging me, you probably haven't read any of my other posts yet you feel it's fun to just make fun of it in a random way. Don't worry about it, this is the way the web is, that's true.
fumingli_scorp, I'm going to send you a PM of what my post was, but between me writing it and this PM, I think I've already changed my mind! LOL.
I was with a Scorpio man for a year and he frustrated me because he never said how he felt most of the time ...it was a secret. It was irritationg how he would always say "Tell me something good" or how he would joke around at the wrong times. We were best friends though. He was always there for me and very attentive.
Thanks. I sort of feel pressured in myself to "make a move!" like if I was just meeting her at a club or something. But this is way, way beyond that. And that we work together, etc, we both have feelings.... I really don't care if she's in a hurry for me to do something. I hope not becuase if she's being true to herself, I'm being true to myself. Like you said.
I'm glad you're learning from me too. Sorry this guy is not what you were hoping he would be. Men really do want kind, sweet women such as yourself. You deserve someone who appreciates you. So I guess we're both in the same boat, wanting the real thing!
I don't know. I guess guys are different from each other, just like girls are different from each other. All THIS particular guy wants is something real. It just depends on who it is with I think.
Hi everyone! I'm new smile
I'm currently entertained and frustrated by this capricorn male who's actually quite older than me. I'm 21 and he's 36. anyway, this topic sheds some new light on my frustration, and I wish I had the intellect to offer up my two cents, but for now I'd just like to absorb your advice which is so interesting, I read every single post.
As for my personal problem..
I don't believe in excusing any man when he fails to offer attention, or when he claims to be confused or lost. It would be healthier for my ego to say that each man is more complex and deserves excuses... But I've tasted the sweet end of the lollipop and can safely say that when a man *decides* to love you, no obstacle is too complex and no mountain is too high. And this breaks my heart.
I've had men fly across the atlantic ocean to see me (platonic, on my end) and I've had millionaires and billionaires claim to want to marry me. I've had one man fly to my home country just to get to know me better.. when I on the other end (in California) rarely return his e-mails or calls. None of these men interest me, and I let them know honestly but sweetly of course because what sincerity tends to damage (as a first step to restoration) insincerity tends to break for good.
I like one man, this Capricorn man who only lives 30 minutes away, and ironically, who (to put bluntly) doesn't want to see me. A Cap who teases, but then takes back his words faster than I can answer. I've been interested in him for a year, and have grown to love and admire his stability and aloofness... but I can't hold on anymore. He's hurt me too much with his inconsideration, and there is no excuse for this.
I guess it's resorted to playing games. I'm a scorpio and I want to turn the tables. He's older and more sophisticated in games, so my manipulations tend to fall short.. and I often look foolish during our power struggles. I've never been put in this position before... I'd very much like to give him a taste of his own medicine.. then maybe I could learn to love him again. Any advice?
Much love,
Curios

Another thing about the age difference... you're 21 and he's 36. That's a BIG AGE difference there. In my case, I'm 30 and this girl is 24, and to ME, that's pretty big. This is why I always tease her about her age and being too young. It's not because I don't like younger women, but that I know that younger means a little more irresponsible, finicky, more likely to want to just play the field. Which isn't what I want. I want something more stable. So my concerns about her age, are indirect attempts by me to get her to prove she's more mature and more willing to be in a LTR. Hopefully she picks up on that and doesn't see it as an outright attack. It's confusing because she's more mature than most girls her age. She might even be more mature than me, not sure.
She probably is more mature than you.. women tend to be. Also it's pretty clear she has you hung up on her own set of power games, which is a sure sign of maturity on her end. I think it's adorable when a man shows that sensitivity.
To answer your question, I believe for him it's just an ego boost to see if he "still has it" and what better way to test it than with me?
I never intend to hurt anyone with games or manipulations. Please don't misunderstand me on this. This is why I'm always honest with every other man who claims to be in love. I would just like to reach his level in clever repartee when it comes to deciding when he's ready and when he's not.
I would just like to switch it so that he ends up asking 'me' if I'm willing to see him.. if this turns men off, then I forgot what turns men on.
So do you believe there's lack of substance in his ego machinations? Is it more of a selfish attention he offers me? Something easily replaceable?
Love
Curios
"Also it's pretty clear she has you hung up on her own set of power games, which is a sure sign of maturity on her end. I think it's adorable when a man shows that sensitivity."
Well, I guess I'm not as in charge as I thought then, lol. It's always difficult for the two sexes to understand each other... you're saying it's a GOOD thing that I'm hung up on her power games, and that's actually a positive trait on her side? Interesting.
Look, guys by our evolutionary nature... we are meant, biologically, to mate with as many women as humanly possible. It's all about spreading the seed and that sort of thing. It's not something we consciously think about. It's why guys get sex crazy EVERYTIME they see an attractive woman... because our natures are telling us, "go make babies now, keep the species alive".
You say it's an ego boost to see if he still has it... girls do that too. Maybe the fact that he's so distant is bringing that out in you, you want to prove you have it... but with the ones that aren't so easy to get ahold of, the challenge is stronger. So of course you would want what you can't have even more than what is readily available to you. I have noticed this, women SAY they want the guy to be upfront, emotional and everything, yet when we hold back it drives you nuts! It's like "I wish he would just be loving towards me, but he isn't, I can't stand it, now I want him a million times more."
If he cares for you it should be him making some effort. But, again... I am used to the woman pursuing me. I like it that way. I'm not sure if it's the ego. Because women are used to guys throwing themselves at them, and us guys can never tell if you just like the attention or really like it because it's US giving you attention. So a good way to find out, is to not be available to you, to keep you coming after us. In this way we feel we still "got it", but at the same it shows us that you're serious about us, and makes us want to be with you more because of that.
Best way to find out is to just ignore him... after a while it could drive him nuts and if he's just playing games, he'll break down and realize he's losing a good thing. But he may resent you for forcing him to reveal feelings. As a guy it's our role to not give you everything you want... because we know that once you've gotten what you can't have, you may not want it anymore.
I agree with you on this, fumingi_scorp. He actively pursues where it almost borders on obscene. Often it comes out of no where. Although I know for a fact that he's a decent person with a good heart, (I honestly know this) it's still a little surprising.. especially since he doesn't even give me time to respond and instead quickly writes back "Actually.. can't do tonight... but we'll see." It can be insulting at times since I have never been approached that disrespectfully. I'm sometimes told I intimidate people and come across prude, so where does he find that confidence? He's not a confident guy... you know us scorps, we sense things.
Thanks Saggit, I understand where you're coming from. I think ignoring him is the best I can do at this point. But I can't ignore him forever, unless I intend to lose him for good. Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I'm pretty much at a loss..
Curios
P.S. no worries, I don't have all my eggs in one basket, emotionally. Us scorpios have steel willpower when we decide against something. Or someone.

You say he pursues you actively, then withdraws. I don't know what the story is where you say he doesn't want to see you anymore, or how long it's been or whatever. But sounds like he's giving a little and taking away, he's seducing you, trying to hold on to you by giving you those big ups and downs. You're probably a young firecracker and he wants to maintain control. Again, that's what I WOULD do. And you're not going to lose him because eventually it'll drive you so nuts that you'll call him, which he knows.
The funny thing is, this is the exact same thing girls can do to guys but it's hard for the other side to see it for what it is. When this stuff happens to me I'm completely clueless (not as clueless now thanks to fumingli_scorp) but it's clear as day when I see another guy do it.
Imcurios: "I'd very much like to give him a taste of his own medicine.. then maybe I could learn to love him again. Any advice"
Hey there..I have been in a very similar situation to this..its what bought me to the boards in the first place..the best thing to do in this situation is just tell him outright you are sick to death of his stupid innuendos and that he's not man enough to admit he has feelings for you. Say "you know full well you are playing with my feelings and therefore fire. Clearly you are getting some sick thrill from winding me up and yet doing nothing about the situation because your scared your fragile little heart will break into smithereens..so either you do something about it now or this relationship/friendship ends here and now.
You have to be very firm in your convictions..then watch him squirm....but be prepared for him to walk away. He might..but lol..mine is still here 2 years later..except I am not interested in him anymore..we are just good friends..
"Yes, we as scorps have determination and willpower as steel, but it takes soo much more out of our energy then it's worth it sometimes."
Well said...I am kinda feeling burned out right now...so low on energy reserves...This month hasn't been the greatest must admit...feel very exhausted with just about everything...
I hear you...I really do...Something this month shook up and as a result, everything else seems to be out of control as well...and if i am not in control I become very irritable and depressed...so as you quite rightly stated, I need to get off my ass, away from this computer and be more active...
Starting with Badminton classes for action and making use of my time...I hate being bored...and its totally a state of mind..
there must be something in the air. Every one of my friends (including my mother and myself) are a bit depressed lately. And now I read this. No one seems happy and energized this month, and ironically that makes me feel a bit better. We shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.
Hey fumingli_scorp, things are going well. We're still being a little guarded around each other but she still keeps crossing my path, and showing up at my office, and acting all nervous and outgoing around me at the same time, calling me for things that have nothing to do with me. Seems like it's on the right track, we keep bumping into each other, we were working together and she was glued next to me, accidentally touching me and all that stuff.
From everything I've read about Scorps, and what you've said, is that the majority aren't into quick flings and thigns like that, and I'm not either.... seems like two people who want to be together deliberately taking it slow. I think we're both crazy about each other but still a little shy about making that next step, because the next step is inevitable. That and the work environment makes it a little scandalous, which is kind of fun in its own way.
From a scorp perspective I can only contrast it with my previous scorp. Like this one, she pursued me like crazy, but was also flirting with all the other guys trying to make me jealous, and it drove me absolutely nuts. It got real intense, real quick and burned out real quick and it was a bad aftermath. I bascially became Satan in her eyes. This one comes after me in a more deliberate, sustained way, without TOO many games like that (just the trust tests like you mentioned.) She comes after me, seems to be the way she wants it.
I know I'm getting analytical here. I just feel like we're already together and just slowly making it real. That or I'm completey deluded! Lol. Anyway, I'm learning what I do when I'm serious about someone. Normally I just dive in. Scorps seem to like it slower.