Scorpio's witholding sex (ladies)

I started dating a scorpio lady, i'm in my mid twenties, and we started out as friends and it has been over a year since we met. I made it clear to her that I wanted something more but she didn't really give me an answer. We still hung out and even started touching and sleeping in the same bed, but nothing more. She even makes jokes about me sleeping with other girls. I feel like she doesn't believe me when she makes these jokes.
Question: Do you think she is expecting me to make a move when I was the one who told her about my feelings? I sort of feel like the ball is in her court.

Yeah i'm a cap guy.

But dude, I tried of fucking course.

She like rolled over to the other side of the bed!!!!! and didn't say anything.

She isn't giving me the "go ahead" signal. you know?

wow they bleep out expletive words

She's a TEASE!

This can be tricky...but I'd wait for a clear signal, from a woman's POV...otherwise taking it by force...well that could end really really wrong; if ya catch my drift.

Thank you Lady M


And no, we aren't naked and caressing, we haven't even gotten that far yet. Clothed and touching and me kissing her hand, face...haven't done it on the mouth. Again; she wasn't sending me the signal.

I say go for some more. You should be more assertive (scorps like that). Start by kissing her on the lips...just a suggestion.

Oh, I forgot to add that she thinks I'm a player.

She isn't a virgin at all, she's 25.

I will kiss her on the corner of the mouth and see where that gets me.

"Yeah, or she could be a virgin who doesn't know how to deal with the situation... dated one of those way back when, myself... If so, she may be too proud to own up to her inexperience -- I've seen a prideful streak in more than one Scorp..."

thats VERY true. like I said wait for the okay.

Lady M,

I DO want to wait for the OK. So I will wait

but
d8, I will also let her know that I only have eyes for her. I totally don't mind if she is possesive, I think it is cute and I will have her all to myself.

How do you know she's not a virgin—

Well, if she's not...she's a total cock tease.
I definitely try the assertive thing if she aint a virgin.

oooh, I cant do scorps and possesive...

I know she isn't a virgin.

She lost her virginity at like 15. She had sex with her last boyfriend, and the one before that.

Her moon and venus is also in scorpio.

What I miss!!

Bye Dyr...

Awww, sorry I missed it.

Wheres the tape?? How did ya do??

Did ya break a leg😛

Cool,
I'll make a move very soon.

Arent you getting a little ahead of yourself capman...
You have to french first 😛



Alrighty notso...cant wait to see the faux pa 😛

By trying something I mean kissing.

Thank you lady m for reminding me.

haha

Yeah water, that would be cool too. I don't mind being slapped.

LOL, I know what ya meant. Just teasin ya.

Good Luck tho.

"I don't mind being slapped."

Oh really...

Well actually if it came down to it I wouldn't like it if she did the " I trusted you....slap...walk off..." yeah that would suck.

Slapping in the *foreplay* sense.

*giggles*

Yeah, I would definitely wait for a clear signal, otherwise things could get very bad. That beign said, I would judge that she just doesn't like you. Atleast in my case, my "like" drive is directly connected to my "sex" drive. When I like someone, I want to have sex with them. When I like them more, I want to have sex with them more. When I like them a lot, I want to have sex with them ALL THE FREAKING TIME. I am sorry, but my guess is that she doesn't like you, atleast not like that.

That or there is something wrong in your relationship... Caps can be severely critical and have a stabbing sense of humor. Beyond that, they aren't exactly the most affectionate or romantic. Any of those things could be inhibiting your relationship. Scorps can be extremely sensitive to what we believe to be the underlying intentions of actions (whether correct or incorrect). Being overly critical, constantly making jokes at her expense, and / or a lack of emotionally caring actions can send up warning flags (again, whether they are correct or incorrect) that WILL affect a relationship and by extension her sex drive. If she doesn't feel "loved", she won't feel horny, atleast not for you (but if she cares about you, more than likely not at all, it is like being emotionally ill). Scorps need to FEEL love. A mature Scorp would see that your pratical nature and practical caring is your form of showing affection, and siphon what she needs from that. But, if she does not realize that is your nature, she may be feeling a lack of emotional caring from you.

The Scorp and Cap relationship can be a hard one. Initially, it may seem that you have much in common. But, upon getting to know each other more, you find that many of those things are not a similar as you had thought. Scorps care a great deal about substance. But, while Caps (from my experience) may seem to care about substance on the surface, what they truly care about is the appearance of substance, and not necessarily the substance itself. Not to say that there is no substance, as caring for the appearance of substance quite often produces substance, but sometimes it does not and that is when you find the difference between the two. When someone is a perfectionist for the sake of others, they are not truly perfectionists, merely surface perfectionists. When someone is a perfectionist for the sake of themselves, they see a big difference between the two... I think that this is why Virgo/Scorp combos far better than Cap/Scorp combos.

""You should be more assertive (scorps like that)."

Yeah - mine definitely wants the man to act like one (not a horny teen, but knowing what he wants), really kinda old-fashioned in that respect..."

We like assertive, yes. We like a man that knows what he wants and goes after it, yes. BUT, part of that is having the underlying experience and knowledge of when to go for what you want and when not. If she wants you go to for it, she will give you clues and opportunities, and if you aren't finding them, she is probably not giving them.

That is why I hate games like that... It just gets far too complicated. At some point I just learned that if I want it, I go get it (and, if he is man enough, he'll try to take it back... LOL!). Okay, so maybe I am not entirely out of the game mode, but atleast the game works far more effectively... ** sweet, innocent look **

"but make your move if you get a chance, if she says no, and it will suck ass, you know where you stand if not, alright!!!"

And, he will miss any other opportunity to succeed. If he just wants to bed her, follow that advice. The worst shae can do is turn you down, and be rest assured you will not get another opportunity. I do not like men that try to go places they have not been invited.

If you want something more, try upping your game. If you can win her heart, you will also win her sex drive (and that'll keep you smiling for ages)...

yeah i've been thinking that she might not feel "loved" so I am going to work in that dept. I was in my moody depressed moods the past two weeks.

Water,
couldn't agree more.

Oh, I remember those Cap moods. They can get a little wearing... Try to lighten things up every once and a while. Too much of the moods and critical nature can bring us to a bad place... Try going out regularly to insert some "lightness" into the budding relationship. No matter how depressed my Cap was, he was always happy and jovial when out with friends. It wasn't until we stopped going out so much that his moods became so emotionally weighing due to the lack of break going out afforded.

I don't know, just a suggestion that had worked good for us... Wish you luck!

And, for the freaking record....that is NOT withholding sex!!! You have to first have a moderately intimate relationship to for someone to be capable of withholding it. 😛

"Funny how many don't appreciate that side of caps when they expect us to bend over backwards to accomadate their idiosyncracies(sp)."

Scorps can have very cynical tendencies. We try to maintain a psychotic balance between our more critical / cynical nature and our more optimistic / beautiful one. Retaining that optimistic / beautiful one can be hard when in a relationship with someone who is as critical or more than you and regularly vocalizes it. We need both... Optimism is a survival trait, and so is pragmatism.

She can weather your moods, just give her breaks to refuel her optimistic side, her happy side, too. If that engine runs out of gas and shuts down, then so will she. And, when she fixes it, there is a good chance she will correct what broke it (which could be you)...

""can" isn't the operative word. just "have" would be more accurate."

LOL!

Okay for the record, I am not always cynical. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and not think the worst of them because it just depresses me. What the hell is the point of living if everywhere you look you see nothing but crap?!? I like being happy. I like being optimistic. I like believing in people, because it would be a very sad place if no one should be believed in. Optimism makes life worth living...and pragmatism ensures that it continues... Hope for the best, expect the worst.

🙂

She just isn't sure how she feels about you. Plain and simple and I don't think she will be able to give up the goods if there are no passionate feelings towards you.

No offence but are you one of those Cap guys who seem to be 25 going on 60 or do you have a bit of life running through your veins?. You seem ok..

"Her moon's in Scorpio"
She will always have 'Ulterior Motives'.

Are you a money bag, a good catch for the altar.

"I haven't seen any Cap/Scorp couples, but I can tell you the Virg/Scorp is not an easy one to get started - took months and months in our case, and went about the same for Scorp-In-Law and her VirGuy... "

I was with a Cap for 7 years. It did not fair so well, but I have seen a few on the forums. They can work, but I think that Virgo/Scorp is the best earth/Scorp combo.

Interestingly enough, my little sis is a Scorp with a Virgo, and they hit it off immediately. We (her and I) love to hate Mr. Virgo. Damn, leave it to a Virgo to make two overachieving Scorps feel inadequate. But, we still love him. He rocks!

"My Scorp won't admit it, but her emotion engine poops out sometimes. As a younger Virg, I would've had more trouble dealing with her "down days" than I do at this age...

Now, when I see the blues setting in, I hold her a lot more, and do some zany something to amuse her - well, zany by Virgo standards! - heck, sometimes just a drive out in the country (or to any place she's never been) will work wonders for her spirits..."

See, that is EXACTLY what I was talking about. Just something to lighten things up and suck her out of the "down" mode. Works wonders... It is awesome that you have already figured that out. No wonder you and Deb have faired so well. How is the pregnancy going? What sign are we looking at for the little one?

"Just have to be careful not to give the impression that I'm patronizing her, or she'll get her dander up - or, worse yet, go into homicidal brooding mode..."

ROFLMAO!!! Yeah, patronizing can go a long way in a very bad direction... That is one of the few things that will push my buttons to the point of stinging (something I am still working on).

"Yes, caper, these are still words of encouragement!!"

Yes, every sign has its goods and bads. I have mentioned some of the Caps, and as Dy would be an expert, he has mentioned some of the Scorps. Knowing these can only help. If you know them, then they won't catch you by surprise, and you can work on a game plan... Caps have their moods. Scorps have their moods. As long as you help her combat hers, she can have what is necessary to help you combat yours (or atleast be capable of weathering them).

"Alcheme, you have wisdom beyond your years"

Thanks! A lot of introspection, that and hitting my mid-life crisis when I was 25. LOL! My Cap rising and I have a love / hate relationship...

"so let me ask on caper's behalf: Is it possible that his Scorp isn't teasing, but she is trying to get him to be more demonstrative with his feelings? From time to time my Scorp will pick a fight with me, or do something to upset my delicate balance, and I suspect it's to get my blood up, because it always leads to (explosive!) make-up sex..."

"if she hasnt caved in already......you can forget it!!"

Personally, I think that this can swing either way (for the Cap guy).

She hasn't slept with him yet... That is a good indicator that she just doesn't like you.

But, she does allow affectionate touching (from the sound of it)... Personally, if I didn't like them, no way in hell I would let it get that far. I don't want some guy I don't "like" touching me. Ick! Even if he is a friend... Still, ick!

As for you, Dy... I will answer personally, so take it with a grain of salt. It may not apply to every Scorp...

It more than likely is because she is feeling a lack of affection, attention, or something that would make us "feel" loved. When you fight back, you are showing passion / feeling, and depending on how you are fighting back, you are more than likely showing passion / feeling for her. She subsequently "feels" loved and her "like / love engine" turns on her "sex engine" and viola MAKE-UP SEX!!! But, it can also go the other way and make things far worse for both / either side... Very dangerous territory (for both sides). This is one of the things I hate about my nature and have tried working on (though, only time will tell).

But, yes, more than likely it is a frustration from a lack of something to siphon your feelings for her from. Arguments, gestures, smiles, words, looks, acts of caring... It doesn't matter the mode, just that the feelings that we need to feel can be extracted from them. If we don't "feel" loved by the person we most care about, we feel frustration and sadness and pain (for lack of a better way to describe it). When we feel pain, we get in defensive / offensive mode (though, we don't always conscously realize it, it is an instictual response).

Hope this helps!

"She's right at two months, and carrying two babies... "

Two?!?!? OMG!! Oh, no... You were only wanting one?!? Are they identical or fraternal twins (or do you know)? Oh wow... You are going to surrounded by Scorps... LOL! I am glad you love us so much! 🙂

*cough*manipulative*cough*

"*cough*manipulative*cough*"

My response or Caper's Scorp?

Hi Caper,
I'm a Capricorn female with a Scorpio male. It can definitely work if you allow your sensitive, affectionate, passionate nature to come out with her. A Scorpio needs loving actions (and verbal too) so if you're a cold Cappy, you won't get far. They say we are super critical but Scorpios are just as critical as we are. They like to dish it out but don't take it that well if YOU criticize them (which is weird that they like Virgos. We all know Virgos are the number one critics.)

What are your real motives with this girl? Are you just trying to get in her pants? Or do you really like her and want something serious with her? Are you prepared to date her exclusively? Why does she think you're a player? Scorps are good at finding out people's true motives so if she feels you're just trying to get her goodies and disappear ("hit and run") she isn't gonna give in. She's probably confused about you or waiting for you to make a definite move. Maybe she doesn't have casual sex and rather be in a monogamous relationship before having sex (I am like that and don't have sex with a guy I'm just dating). I know I personally hate when a guy tells me he wants to make a move and then doesn't do anything. Don't ask "can I kiss you" or anything corny like that, just do it (like Nike). Anyways, be patient and if you have no intentions of getting serious with her, don't lead her on.

"It more than likely is because she is feeling a lack of affection, attention, or something that would make us "feel" loved. When you fight back, you are showing passion / feeling, and depending on how you are fighting back, you are more than likely showing passion / feeling for her. She subsequently "feels" loved and her "like / love engine" turns on her "sex engine" and viola MAKE-UP SEX!!! But, it can also go the other way and make things far worse for both / either side... Very dangerous territory (for both sides). This is one of the things I hate about my nature and have tried working on (though, only time will tell).

But, yes, more than likely it is a frustration from a lack of something to siphon your feelings for her from. Arguments, gestures, smiles, words, looks, acts of caring... It doesn't matter the mode, just that the feelings that we need to feel can be extracted from them. If we don't "feel" loved by the person we most care about, we feel frustration and sadness and pain (for lack of a better way to describe it). When we feel pain, we get in defensive / offensive mode (though, we don't always conscously realize it, it is an instictual response)."

Just for clarification, it would not be because you aren't being loving towards her, just that she wouldn't be capable of getting her emotional "fix" from those actions. Practical caring can be a hard form of caring to get an "emotional" fix from, but it is not impossible. And, with more emotional or sensual (hello, earth...) caring mixed in (hugs, holding, touching, smiles) it should be far easier... These would be just times when it is not so easy to extract what we need, or when something (either in the relationship or merely life, i.e. - stress) has produced a deficit.

CapAngel has some good advice and comments...

Message posted by: alcheme on 4/17/2007 6:33:18 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.193
"*cough*manipulative*cough*"

My response or Caper's Scorp


Capers scorp...the response on scorp women lashing out so their partner can 'prove' their love.

Caper is back.

So far all these responses are really, really good advice. I HAVE been lacking in the showing my feelings, and she HAS thrown me off my balance and riled me up...which I did suspect so she could see how I feel. I do feel like she is throwing me bones to 'prove' my love.

I don't know if this is a horrible comment but i've never had to make the first physical move, I usually get attacked, so that is what I was expecting from her. I AM serious about her and am trying to change my ways. It looks like I am going to have to make the first move.
I've also built things up and expected her to make the move, but I think she was expecting it to be me to 'prove' that I would risk getting rejected just to get to her.

I'm sort of just realizing how much of a jerk i've been in the past. I always make the girl show her cards first, then I decide if I want to be her boyfriend, which I usually do decide to do. I think I do this because I actually get pretty attached to a girl and want to make sure that she wont take advantage of me or my *money*.
I have scorpio as my rising sign if that makes any sense of my behavior.

My last girlfriend rejected me because I was too passionate, so I don't want that to happen again...

Oh and thank you for the words of encouragement, I been doing some nice things and *out of character* things and she has been responsive, but still in a cave. She's stressed out right now but manages to send me some emails. She doesn't like seeing me when she is in her bad moods.

"Capers scorp...the response on scorp women lashing out so their partner can 'prove' their love"

It may be manipulative, but it not necessarily consciously manipulative. It would be like someon pouting when they don't get their way. They don't always realize they are even doing it. They are merely subconsciously reacting. Still doesn't make it right, but I wouldn't jump straight to "evil"...



"she wont take advantage of me or my *money*. I have scorpio as my rising sign if that makes any sense of my behavior."

LOL! No, you just have Cap as your sun... Haha!

"My last girlfriend rejected me because I was too passionate, so I don't want that to happen again..."

Ummmmmmm, never gonna happen with a Scorp. A Scorp would never reject someone for being too passionate. That is what little Scorp girls' dreams are made of...


"I don't know if this is a horrible comment but i've never had to make the first physical move,"

Oh, geez... That is how my Cap was. Come on... Be a man! Learn to take a risk... I know that can be hard for a Cap, but try stepping out of your comfort zone a bit...?