sex issue

okay, so i've had this problem intermittently in the past but recently it's caused some major insecurity in my lovemaking life.

basically, sometimes when i have sex it's really difficult to maintain an erection. i have no problem masturbating in record time when i'm alone and more relaxed, but when i'm with a girl i get anxious and find it difficult to relax...

sometimes if i starve myself of sex and masturbation for a couple days i can and do perform really well, but consecutive performance (daily) is kind of an issue. i have the drive for it but my body seems to betray me.

i feel bad about it not necessarily because it deprives the girl who i'm with (i always make sure to make her cum at least twice) but because i feel like intercourse becomes less spontaneous and "fun." what's worse is when i can't cum for the life of men, i make her cum a couple times and then she just gives up, leaving me horny and angry and confused all at once, which doesn't help and causes intense moodiness.

girls, ever had to deal with this in a man? and guys, have any helpful advice? i know i just need to relax and stop thinking so much but it's really, really difficult.

"what's worse is when i can't cum for the life of men, i make her cum a couple times and then she just gives up, leaving me horny and angry and confused all at once, which doesn't help and causes intense moodiness."

Were you drunk when that happened? Alcohol can sometimes cause that sort of thing.

"Those are two sentences I never thought I'd say..lol.."

Believe me ASS,i mean AS..i stopped saying that since i registered to this site,i said every possible saying here.
But i have to say i learnt about 1000 new words here,90% of them related to fuking.

scorpio_wreck,

Try the herb YOHIMBE. You can get it at just about any health food store. Most capsules are 9mg, which is often too high a dose, but you can open the capsule and empty out about half of it. That's a pretty good dose to start with...

Takes about 1 hour to kick in, and will give you a HARD ON for at least 4-6 hours, and the capability for multiple orgasms...

Side effects: If you take too much, sweating, racing pulse, and hot flashes. At your age, 2-4mg should be more than enough to get you over your anxiety...

Try it alone the first time, and make sure you can tolerate it even in smaller doses, before you use it for the real deal...

I don't use Yohimbe often, but at my age (47), too much beer or wine can take the wind outta my sails faster & for longer than in my 20's...

This stuff helps restore my youthful vigor - and doesn't require a prescription...

Your Pisces lovely will know what to do ... one of my ex boyfriends who suffers with the same issue was able to keep an erection when we hooked up because the underlying cause was comprehended, and not the surface matter.

Cause and effect ... most people deal with the cause **limp dick

Your Pisces lovely will deal with the cause **anxiety

most people deal with the cause **limp dick


Damn .. I meant effect, of course 🙂

"i have the drive for it but my body seems to betray me."

That's why I suggested a physical solution - your issue may not be entirely psychological. If the Yohimbe works, it'll help you get your confidence back, and that can help with the anxiety...

It's worth a try, IMHO...

This isn't a physical issue .. if it were, you wouldn't be able to get it up to masturbate. It's psychological.

"i have no problem masturbating in record time when i'm alone and more relaxed, but when i'm with a girl i get anxious and find it difficult to relax."


Again, like I said .... most people will only deal with the effect, the surface matter.

There is no physical erection problems with the function of your parts ... there is an anxiety problem = cause.

TAC: "So if it has worked for you its purely psychological vs physiological."

Have you tried it? The response is purely physiological -- no external stimulus required...

The GNC brand is the one I use, and it always works as advertised...

"There is no physical erection problems with the function of your parts ... there is an anxiety problem = cause."

Perhaps... but us dudes know that a little assist is sometimes needed to get over a hump, so we can start humping again on our own...

Roxi,

Give me a break! There's trashier shit than my posts on daytime TV...

Most people would, Rox ..... which enhances his problem.

His Pisces lovely won't take it personal, though .... she will see the forest, and not just this tree.

"No I havent tried it, but I know the OTC stuff is worthless if you truly have ED"

Uh-huh... well, we're probably not talking about a serious ED physical problem, and I know first-hand that it helps me when alcohol has depressed my system a little too much...

No harm in s_w trying it...

Roxi: "i would not be a very sympathetic partner i'm afraid."

Would you expect Him to be sympathetic when you can no longer lubricate, and have to haul out the K-Y jelly??

(Our bodies grow older faster than our libidos... dammit!!)

"It must be tough being a guy and always having to "perform"...psychological or not."

Yep! That's why I waded into this topic, and upset our Roxi's delicate sensibilities...

s_w is understandably upset, and us guys sympathize...

"Well, I sympathize with all you men...if that's any consolation."

Thanks! We appreciate your support!

The THC in pot can cause this as well if you're a heavy user.... 😉 No condemnation intended, SW, just a fact.

But I think P was right with the psychological factor. If you're mega-attracted to someone, looking forward to the romp a lot, fantasizing about it a lot, etc. this can psych you out for the performance itself. Just a matter of too much excitement build-up, maybe?

:: shakes head ::



Shallow and proud.

Roxi, would you just do f'ing a already!!! LOL!!! ;0

SS: "Just a matter of too much excitement build-up, maybe?"

It could be a combination of factors - physical & emotional - with a Scorp I would assume it's far more emotional than for a Virg (no surprise there!)...

s_w just needs to get his mojo back! Somebody call Austin Powers!

FuckinA,

s_w isn't the first guy to try abstaining from self-abuse to build up his white count for a real female encounter -- he's just the first to admit to it on this Board!

He's either very courageous, or very desperate for a solution!

Roxi,

Most women, at some point (usually after menopause), lose that ability, and need an artificial substitute...

No shame in it. Just part of aging...

"Women who refrain from sex often find that their dryness becomes even worse. Some tried and tested menopause remedies include using lubricants..."

[http://www.epigee.org/menopause/vaginal_dryness.html]<BR>
"Vaginal moisturizers such as Replens can help women with thinning vaginal tissue or dryness, and lubricants such as K-Y Jelly or Astroglide, can help with lubrication difficulties that may be present during intercourse. It is worth pointing out that moisturizers and lubricants are different products for different issues: some women feel unpleasantly dry all of the time apart from during sex, and they may do better with moisturizers all of the time. Those who need only lubricants are fine just using the lubrication products during intercourse."

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menopause]

"can we stop talking about old people having sex now please??"

Nope... sorry! That's all old people can do is talk about it!

S_W, are you talking about a simple case of 'stage fright' when you initially start up with a girl? Thats no biggie at all, and it will diminish as you two become accustomed to eachother. It may be her fault too, if she isnt able to be open enough with you yet to let down all of her inhibitions and let her guard down. Thats part of the beauty of first meeting someone, the gradual buildup of confidence you both express and share with eachother.

Once you get over that 'hump', so's to speak, its on like Donkey Kong.


Another thing you wrote about was not being able to come. If you are like me ( which I doubt very seriously since you are a scorpio 😉 ), you might be holding back in order for your girl to have hers first, an honorable and noble pursuit in the bedroom! But, if I hold myself back for too long, it then becomes very difficult for me to deliver the coup de' grace. I dont know any technical or medical terms for this other than possibly it being a 'desentisization' issue? Talk about it with her and explain the issue, dont hide it from her, otherwise she might take the point of view that she doesnt excite you enough.

string cheese

damn roxi! i don't live on dxp like some people. it's hard to keep commenting.

and wow, thanks for the overwhelming replies everyone - this is a really embarrassing issue for me. the issue isn't really getting off the girls i'm with, since i always make sure to please them first - through whatever stimulation you can leave up to your imagination 😉 but i was actually thinking that maybe chronic mj use has something to do with it, since i smoke every day. i was also listening to love line last night (gotta love dr. drew) and he was talking about erectile dysfunction being linked to addictive behaviors, and i have a lot of those...

i think i might just try a range of natural solutions. i was thinking about this the other day, how my sex life kind of mirrors my real life (emotionally, anyways...) and how maybe some times us guys need to pay more attention to our dick as an indication of other issues, as P-Angel was sayin'.

dude, just score some levitra. problem solved, end of discussion.

as far as asking women on the internet for sex advice, thats like asking a catholic priest for marriage counseling....

emgem, i totally agree...and plus, i think i'm at a point in my life where drugs are just not as good for me as they used to be. i had my fun and now it's time to be sober - i really need to be thinking clearly...it's my life, i don't want to make the old mistakes and get too consumed in substances. i might end up in a 12 step just for old time's sake, it'l be good to be around empowered people again and not a bunch of dirty hippies, haha.

and on the education part, i know for a lot of men this kind of thing is common so a) don't pretend like it's not and b)girls, learn to be sensitive about your man and his bedroom issues. you're not perfect, so why pretend lke you are? you're just lying to yourself.

you can tell a lot about a person by how they respond to other peoples' vulnerabilities. i'm absolutely tired of hiding mine - it's a good way to weed out the undesirables.

lol @ hash dick 🙂


lol @ 'cotton pussy' from smoking weed

tollbooth, some women on here really know what they're talking about. i won't name names but i'm sure they know who they are.

"tollbooth, some women on here really know what they're talking about. i won't name names but i'm sure they know who they are"


I could talk about Formula 1 race cars all day. But it doesnt mean I know how to drive one 😉

"as far as asking women on the internet for sex advice, thats like asking a catholic priest for marriage counseling...."

Um...I don't know about you, but I can occasionally post on the Internet and still get laid on a regular basis... 😛

"Um...I don't know about you, but I can occasionally post on the Internet and still get laid on a regular basis... "

You got me there, Sea Siren. Sad, but true 😢

"that doesn't say a whole lot for the men either then!!!!
how ridiculous!!"



It was a gender specific statement, Roxanne.

Like me trying to tell a woman how to avoid menstrual cramps, advice given from a male on that topic could be dismissed easily.

"eeeeeks, you have sex with people from the net?? I'd be afraid of getting killed."

NO! I don't do the online dating thing. I was referring to my qualifications to give sex advice. lol

By far, the best post so far in this thread was by anotherscorp:

"That's a tough one, especially during the beginning bits with a new lover. A "bad" night for a guy in the beginning could spell the end with some women...you can never tell. Well, I sympathize with all you men...if that's any consolation."



Discuss.

Not with a Pisces. An emotional bond is way more important to us than the physical.

"infact think one can get many different cadidt advice/POVs on the internet because it reaches out to more ppl you usually can't in an anonymous setting."

I agree, Sagi. EVERYONE is on the net these days. Sure, there are whack jobs, but there are also intelligent, perfectly sane people too. The only thing that separates it from real life is the anonymity, which is a good thing if it allows a person to be more honest.

"Discuss."

it just shows, once again, how overrated sex is. lol.

Advice on male sex, Roxi.
P to the Enis my dear.

First time sex has to be aweful for a female. Considering all the issues that could be wrong with a dudes dick, I'd not want to be the the girl having to find out if he's up to spec in that department.

First time sex (FTS) I agree it should be approached with a much lower degree of expectations. But what Anotherscorp was implying is that for some woman, if the guy doesnt bring his A-Game to bed on the first try, he's not gonna get a second chance at a amake-up session. And thats just fkdup for a gal to be that way. Or a guy for that matter.



Roxi- fair dinkum

emgem, I agree with both of your last 2 posts.
The whole "Last Lover" syndrome can be tough to overcome
And the problem is with women who dont keep the expectations on the downlow for FTS, and dismiss the guy as a result of it.
Sagigoat is correct with how I would respond to that kind of gal- kick her to the curb. But the problem is that she already has and beat me to it by not giving me another try.

the only reason i even mentioned this issue is because the other night i got her off three goddamn times in like 30 minutes and she was just soaking it up, and then when i tried with her she was lying there all limp and tired and shit and then had the nerve midway to tell me she'd get me off later - after this all happened we went to get dinner, we drove broke and she said she was too tired and wanted to sleep alone. that really pissed me off...and made me angry and moody and frustrated all at once. just because i can't cum in like 5 minutes like a lot of guys my age doesn't mean she's got the right to just fall out of sync when i make her cum, right?

Some women won't give blow jobs. Just like some men won't go downtown either. I've never dated one of those, and never will, but I've heard they exist. 😛

I agree, that was selfish of this chick, SW. LOSE THAT LOSA.

LOL! I enjoy giving them, too. The reactions are priceless! 🙂

LOL @ Sea Siren and Roxi making fun of guys and their "O" faces