Shere Hite (Scorpio Sexologist)

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schoenetanz
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For me, it is all psychological. I learned how to "think myself off" when I was in 7th grade. I can enjoy an orgasm almost anywhere provided that I have enough time to construct a fantasy in my head. When I have trouble enjoying sex with someone other than myself I go into my head and use similar tricks of fantasy on my brain in order to create a stimulating situation. It is ALL in the head. I think sexy, therefore I am.
: )
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Elliot of the High Scorpios
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Well, as with all signs there are worlds of associations to make for Cancer. One of them I want to bring up is about their ability to still be themselves regardless of season or routine or discipline, or having to keep their space tidy (time and season is capricorn, cancer is cap's opposite, remember?) Put it this way, Earth signs have to keep their space nice and structural, but Cancer isthe water sign that says, 'yes, but we can still play and have unbridled personality and fun' (like water).

Cancer represents Mother Nature, remember? The magic and enchantment that you only could feel strongly as a child, before anything became too real. The coming together of the opposites, Cancer and Cap, represent that life can be real, adult, and professional at the same time as being like a wonderland or a fairytale or anything like that. Now of course, it does take a perfect person to make a perfect balance between them, but the purpose is for us to strive for it.

And the Cancer/Vigro is one of the Zodiac's perfect marriages. It's a pattern, and that's one of the combinations. Cancer need Virgo's sure points, and Virgo needs Cancer's sure points. All Virgos would be great friends of mine if they could reaaally lighten up every once in a while, because the ones that do ARE great friends of mine.

(This is way off topic)
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moonbaby
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Elliot, you sure nailed that one...again.

Being a Cancer with Venus in Cancer, too...I know first hand how to balance life, work, adult conversation and yet make the time for great sex...new things or even just a night of a few of beers and good laughs.

It all depends on how important just letting go of yourself every once in a while is. And, very important, especially if you're in a long term relationship, never, ever forget how to be a blast in bed!! Live it up, try new things.....it's invigorating!!
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Elliot of the High Scorpios
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So anyways, back to the lovely and articulate Shere Hite female sexologist - this is a good part for me to focus on in her article, here:


Shere Hite writes,
"This idea can change women's psychological perspective. Women don't need to be enemies and rivals, automatically. Of course, not all women will like all other women, why should they? Jealousy will not disappear, it's normal! But it is a pity to have a psychological mind-set pre-tuned for rivalry built into one's head, pre-programmed. For example, when a woman walks into a room (say, at a business meeting or party), another woman watching her come through the door may automatically think to herself, 'Is she prettier than me? Younger?'

What if a woman thinks instead, 'Here comes a woman. Will she be a good addition to my life? How would I like to relate to her?' If she's 'pretty', the woman could try thinking, 'She is very attractive. I'd like to have her for a friend or a companion, or maybe I'd like to touch her hair or hold her hand. I wonder if I'd like talking to her?' She could think, 'She wants to be attractive for ME so I will like her!' (rather than imagining, 'She has spent time on her appearance to compete with me, to be attractive to the men in this room.') Why shouldn't a woman imagine, when seeing another woman enter a room with a group of people, that the woman is offering her beauty, charm and aliveness to HER and not to the men— This implies a lack of self-esteem on her part, to think she deserves it, she is worth it...

Though generally women are thought to be most vulnerable to men's rejection, praise or blame, in fact on a deeper level, women often wonder how much other women really like them. 'Would a woman really choose me?', the women wonder. 'Would she put me first in her life if she had a choice between me and a man? At work? In private?' Many women lack the self-confidence to believe a woman would willingly do this. 'Anyway, wouldn't this be a lesbian relationship?'...' Once again, the fear of rejection many women unconsciously feel is linked to body issues, going back to taboos and attitudes a girl learned with her mother. While many women have excellent friendships, they still do not see each other as potential primary partners in life. They do not wonder, 'Could I make a life with her? Would I want to buy a home with hre? Would she be a good business partner?' -- nor imagine celebrating anniversaries of their partnership, boasting to others of their 'successful relationship'."


^^ Personally, I think this is very very clever, let alone quite friendly and caring of her.
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little_sparrow
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To be honest, I don't think her article is very accurate at all. As one of my friend commented, it reads like it was written in the 60s or 70s.

I am totally in favour of women buying houses together and raising a child together! In fact, I am an advocate of it, and have been for some time. I am actually moving in with a friend in a few months. I am very excited as it will be nice to have a home with her.

And who doesn't hug and compliment their friends?

By the time a woman reaches her mid-twenties blowing off friends for a guy is pass?.

And who cares if someone thinks your a lesbian? Who would think someone was a lesbian because they live together or getting a bank loan together? If a woman is talented, motivated, and has skills you need, why wouldn't you consider her as a business partner? People are going to think you are lesbians because you are business partners? Be serious!

I think the author has a rich imagination, but doesn't spend a lot of time in reality.
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little_sparrow
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I don't think her article is very well argued Elliot. In fact, it seemed pretty off base and you can drive buses through some of her arguments.

First, I think both women and men don't trust women that can't get along with their own gender.

''Well, women are 51% of the world, if they want to change it, why don't they do so?"

Is such an oversimplification of so many things ... I have no idea where to begin!

"The word "lesbian" has been used to keep women reproductive-focused mindset ...women don't change position in sex because they will be called anti-male, neurotic, lessie" ... this argument is such complete crap. huh? Women fear being called other names that suggest they are sexually adventurous more and that has to do with male obsession with dominating female sexuality that has gone on for centuries and centuries. (of course had the family name/property traveled through the female line this could have been avoided. I digress.)

Women identify with their fathers and men more than with their mothers? Since when? Yes. Women want careers and status but usually their mother is the one telling them they can do it and to go for it so they DON'T end up like their mother. That suggests women identify with their MOTHER more. Fathers aren't usually even around.

Women being rivals and cannot work together. There is some truth to this, but my friends and I are noticing older career women will mentor younger career women if they see their potential. In fact, I am blessed to have many older women who WILL help me in my career and give me career advice. Women do bond together to help each other in their careers. I have only been backstabbed at work once by another woman .. and not without irony ... she always claimed "women didn't get along with her and she got along better with men."

In meetings or work situations, sometimes women fear siding with other woman 'against the men', and behave nervously, calling it 'modern' not to 'automatically agree with another woman' - Who automatically agrees with anyone?

The very nature of female friendship is different than male friendships. Women look to character. Just like a woman will choose a mate by character, so does she chooses her friends by values and character. If woman don't like your character, you aren't friends. Women have a tendency to be less stringent with males but that is based on a sexual attraction, which often, is chemical. And yes ... we all know men and women can be friends without being attracted. @@

Anyhow, those are just some thoughts. I could go on and on but hopefully, you will see where I am coming from.