*Shivers* Ow. Hurt More Than I Thought It Would

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by CreoleGeisha on Monday, January 27, 2014 and has 74 replies.
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I suspect I've been officially "iced" today.
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Thanks, I think.
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No Devito lookalike. Not a lucky day, though. Instead of fretting about losing a close friendship, I guess it was already lost. Worried about my job, too, but mostly sad for causing hurt and disappointment to someone I love.
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There's not much to tell.
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I guess I'm sort of surprised. I didn't expect to be so hurt, or for him to be so hurt and change toward me so abruptly. I did the right thing, the relationship he seemed to be seeking wasn't right for us. He didn't get what he wanted, but neither did I.
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Ah. Fort mauvais, Viva. Fort mauvais indeed. I'm very saddened right now.
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*wry smile* I know. Thanks.
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Posted by CreoleGeisha
I guess I'm sort of surprised. I didn't expect to be so hurt, or for him to be so hurt and change toward me so abruptly. I did the right thing, the relationship he seemed to be seeking wasn't right for us. He didn't get what he wanted, but neither did I.


What was wrong with the relationship?
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He's a close friend and my employer (at least, I think he still is, he actually rejected a call I made about a work related matter, so maybe I'm fired.) I felt for some time he was leaning towards a more romantic relationship. I'm not comfortable with that.
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CreoleGeisha, what call did he reject in regards to work related matter?
If he were to shietcan you, it would probably have to be for any of the following reasons:
1) you were trying to steal from him;
2) lie to him;
3) embarass, made him feel like an idiot in front of his peers, upper management, whatever
4) gave secrets to a company's competitor;
5) interviewed for a job position at the company's competitor and not tell him;
6) he thought you back-stabbed him;
7) you were already skating on thin ice with him--one more offense, then bye-bye
Now, if you feel that you're going to be canned because you didn't want to date him---I wouldn't worry too much about that. He will probably endure you to much worse: the ICE treatment. Might be a good idea to keep off his radar screen at a minimum of five months.
Scorps are ruthless when it comes to dissing a person. Are you sure this is what you want--to not date him?? If you truly deep down want to be in a relationship with him, the ice--"you do not exist" treatment will be super-duper hell for you. Trust me.
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Posted by CreoleGeisha
He's a close friend and my employer (at least, I think he still is, he actually rejected a call I made about a work related matter, so maybe I'm fired.) I felt for some time he was leaning towards a more romantic relationship. I'm not comfortable with that.


Why not?

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Gettothepoint, I've never lied to him or betrayed him in any of the ways you've named. He's an old friend, I really love him, and I've got his back. Wouldn't sell him out or damage his interests for worlds.
I MIGHT be guilty of #3. It's sort of a convoluted story, though.
We often banter. In the past, we'd have all these witty exchanges and we didn't care who else was in the room or within earshot. In the past few months, he's changed towards me, exhibiting a lot of uncustomary protective and possessive behavior, including isolating me to some degree. He expresses love pretty openly, but he always has. He also did something that left me feeling threatened (tried to bust in my locked office door while I was dressing) and we've never been as laid-back and easygoing as we once were.
I've been uncomfortable with this from the get-go. Our families are friends with each other, we work together, and I just don't think it's appropriate for us to be a couple.
The hard part. I love him. I genuinely do. He knows it. That's the problem. He knows me so well. If he thought I didn't love him, he'd probably leave it alone. If I didn't love him myself, I'd have put him in his place a long time ago. But I love him and he knows it and if I say I don't, he knows I'm lying. I'd rather not lie to him.
Today, he called me into his office while a friend of his was visiting. I was shocked, because it's been so long since he's "allowed" me to see anyone. I thought/hoped maybe he was "over" me and we were back to our old selves. And I made a snide comment about his scanner not working properly "because she didn't like him."
D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.
I didn't see his disappointment. I FELT it. He just "closed up." "Walled up" completely. I recognized he was hurt and tried to apologize, but he wasn't having it. Just brushed me off. From his remarks, he clearly felt I meant I didn't like him and directed it via the flippant comment. Told me I shouldn't apologize for what I thought, maybe I was right about the scanner, etc.
I couldn't address the matter more directly. He left early, probably to avoid me. After he left, I realized I hadn't told him something important. I called, left a VM, and got a rejection notice. I was aghast, he's NEVER done something like that to me before.
I don't want to be "iced," but I don't want to romantically involve myself with him. I'd rather us just work together and be pals, like we used to be. We're p
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Sorry. Got cut off.

I don't want to be "iced," but I don't want to romantically involve myself with him. I'd rather us just work together and be pals, like we used to be. We're productive and (I thought) happy. He's the lousiest negotiator in humanity.
WHY are men LIKE this? WHY can't they just be content with a good thing when they've got it?
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Posted by Montgomery
Posted by CreoleGeisha
He's a close friend and my employer (at least, I think he still is, he actually rejected a call I made about a work related matter, so maybe I'm fired.) I felt for some time he was leaning towards a more romantic relationship. I'm not comfortable with that.


Why not?


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BECAUSE HE SIGNS MY PAYCHECK AND IT'S IMPROPER?
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Posted by Rabbit
Posted by CreoleGeisha
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by CreoleGeisha
He's a close friend and my employer (at least, I think he still is, he actually rejected a call I made about a work related matter, so maybe I'm fired.) I felt for some time he was leaning towards a more romantic relationship. I'm not comfortable with that.


Why not?




BECAUSE HE SIGNS MY PAYCHECK AND IT'S IMPROPER?


Unless you marry him, quit, and become his hausfrau.
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*jumps up and down, tears streaming*
I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I LIKE working with him. And besides, I do my best work in the boardroom.
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And while I'm ranting...This is SO UNFAIR! It's not right. People we love and who love us shouldn't just get to change the rules whenever they want because they want more from a person who loves them. It's just plain wicked.
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Posted by CreoleGeisha
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by CreoleGeisha
He's a close friend and my employer (at least, I think he still is, he actually rejected a call I made about a work related matter, so maybe I'm fired.) I felt for some time he was leaning towards a more romantic relationship. I'm not comfortable with that.


Why not?


BECAUSE HE SIGNS MY PAYCHECK AND IT'S IMPROPER?



Is it?
Since when has impropriety ever stopped anyone?

Posted by CreoleGeisha
*jumps up and down, tears streaming*
I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I LIKE working with him. And besides, I do my best work in the boardroom.


Double entendre from a Leeb?
*smirk*
Posted by CreoleGeisha
And while I'm ranting...This is SO UNFAIR! It's not right. People we love and who love us shouldn't just get to change the rules whenever they want because they want more from a person who loves them. It's just plain wicked.
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I was kidding above, but it would seem that you're now saying you love him.
And your frustration belies earlier words.
The whole thing is more than a little confusing.
You, not him. Straight Face

You sure you don't like him?
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1) Well, you see, some humans believing in ascribing to certain standards and ethics and professionalism. So yes, some of us support propriety. However, in this case, there is also a question of compromise of licensing ethics that could be damaging.
2) Oh yeah, we Libras triple entendre. I've failed abyssmally at marriage in the past, in no rush to try again.
3) YOU HAVEN'T BEEN READING YOU CRETIN! UGH!
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I meant the ACTION, not the person. Emotional blackmail is just plain wrong.
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Posted by CreoleGeisha
Sorry. Got cut off.

I don't want to be "iced," but I don't want to romantically involve myself with him. I'd rather us just work together and be pals, like we used to be. We're productive and (I thought) happy. He's the lousiest negotiator in humanity.
WHY are men LIKE this? WHY can't they just be content with a good thing when they've got it?


Are you in love with him?
And newsflash: if a man and a woman are equally attractive, the chances of an attraction developing between one another WILL be high. Just the way it is.
If you didn't want him to be romantically interested in you, then there should have been another man within vicinity. Or be more cold, professional--don't let him grow attached to you. I don't know any Scorp who'd go out of his way to be nice to a woman. Unless he either wants something from her or he totally likes her.
Sorry---if a Scorp guy is ALL OF A SUDDEN sweet to me, asking me questions about personal stuff, joking around, being too helpful/suggesting that I contact him with any questions, nonchalently suggesting that we get lunch sometime--*eyes widening* oh oh. He wants something. An ulterior motive at play. He wants to know if I am going to take the bait or not. THAT's the critical time to start being more professional and short.
Sounds to me you had him on the hook. The guy would have married you within months if you played your cards right. And he'd be your slave to boot.
You are a libra?? Don't tell me that you were trying to do the right thing--not date him because it's against corporate policy?? Again, I think he would have married you. lol
Scorp probably thought he was played--though that was probably not your intention.
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Posted by CreoleGeisha

Today, he called me into his office while a friend of his was visiting. I was shocked, because it's been so long since he's "allowed" me to see anyone. I thought/hoped maybe he was "over" me and we were back to our old selves. And I made a snide comment about his scanner not working properly "because she didn't like him."
D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.


Definitely.
Rule #1: Never make fun of a Scorp at his/her expense. And if you do, it better be sarcastic---so he/she knows that you're not making fun of him/her--just making fun of, at the situation.
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Posted by CreoleGeisha
1) Well, you see, some humans believing in ascribing to certain standards and ethics and professionalism. So yes, some of us support propriety. However, in this case, there is also a question of compromise of licensing ethics that could be damaging.
2) Oh yeah, we Libras triple entendre. I've failed abyssmally at marriage in the past, in no rush to try again.
3) YOU HAVEN'T BEEN READING YOU CRETIN! UGH!


Oh my God...you're just like my sister. A Libra. I don't get her---she has to reason and rationalize everything. Even if it means sacrificing her desires/needs. Then she cries, is internally tormented about why other people don't follow the same philosophy.
She's a strange bird. I love her--but she's still a strange one. To me.
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Posted by CreoleGeisha
1) Well, you see, some humans believing in ascribing to certain standards and ethics and professionalism. So yes, some of us support propriety. However, in this case, there is also a question of compromise of licensing ethics that could be damaging.
2) Oh yeah, we Libras triple entendre. I've failed abyssmally at marriage in the past, in no rush to try again.
3) YOU HAVEN'T BEEN READING YOU CRETIN! UGH!


Cretin?
*snicker*

I've read it all.
Poor you-- it isn't your fault you're smart, beautiful and ethical!
Forced to thwart the advances the swarthy, rogue Scorpio-- you're beset on all sides, when you're just trying to do the right thing, dammit.
*sigh*
It sounds like a real bodice-ripper.

Posted by Gettothepoint
You are a libra?? Don't tell me that you were trying to do the right thing--not date him because it's against corporate policy??
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Yeah, I'm not buying that, either.





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<"`.
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Creole,
Are you sure this is love and not "lust"?
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Posted by Gettothepoint
Posted by CreoleGeisha

Today, he called me into his office while a friend of his was visiting. I was shocked, because it's been so long since he's "allowed" me to see anyone. I thought/hoped maybe he was "over" me and we were back to our old selves. And I made a snide comment about his scanner not working properly "because she didn't like him."
D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.


Definitely.
Rule #1: Never make fun of a Scorp at his/her expense. And if you do, it better be sarcastic---so he/she knows that you're not making fun of him/her--just making fun of, at the situation.
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BUT THAT IS WHAT I DID! We ALWAYS used to play with each other like that! He says whacky stuff to me TOO! It's like he wants me to be "different" now. He's changing everything about "us" but didn't drop me a memo so I could at least ATTEMPT to cooperate!
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Posted by MrFirebird
Creole,
Are you sure this is love and not "lust"?


Oh I love him very much. I've known him about nine years. We have lots of chemistry but I always thought it was more intellectual. Stick us in a room together, pull up a topic, and we're all over it, bouncing ideas around, and it's big fun and very stimulating.
I've never wanted him, not sure if he wants me or is/was a "dog in the manger." He's been "hiding" me from other people, don't know how else to describe it.
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Meh! You set boundaries. You're in a work environ. No need to get your crinoline in a twist.
As a higher up and a *friend* he should be a big enough boy to deal with it.
As are you. There's a paper bag on the desk in case of more vapors and megrims.
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Posted by Montgomery

Poor you-- it isn't your fault you're smart, beautiful and ethical!



I'm smart and I'm ethical. The decision of beauty I leave to others. But with a Libra Sun/ Taurus Moon...yes, I am "by many accounted beautiful."
He's smarter than I am. Likely more beautiful as well.
Posted by Gettothepoint

Forced to thwart the advances the swarthy, rogue Scorpio-- you're beset on all sides, when you're just trying to do the right thing, dammit.


LOOK, when someone comes to drag me out of the bathroom to a meeting, I'd call that a tad unconventional and creepy. WOuldn't you?
Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Gettothepoint
You are a libra?? Don't tell me that you were trying to do the right thing--not date him because it's against corporate policy??


Yeah, I'm not buying that, either.
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I'm also an Iron Dog. Now do you believe in my stance on honoring ethics?






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You say you love him and couldn't deny it. If you didn't work for him, would you date him?
If your answer is yes, I'd reconsider your stance on this man. The reason being that a real live passionate love is at your doorstep. How few chances in this life do we get to really, truly experience a deep love...
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Posted by CreoleGeisha
Posted by MrFirebird
Creole,
Are you sure this is love and not "lust"?


Oh I love him very much. I've known him about nine years. We have lots of chemistry but I always thought it was more intellectual. Stick us in a room together, pull up a topic, and we're all over it, bouncing ideas around, and it's big fun and very stimulating.
I've never wanted him, not sure if he wants me or is/was a "dog in the manger." He's been "hiding" me from other people, don't know how else to describe it.
click to expand


Oh. You're not attracted to him.
You love him BUT you're not in love with him. Right?
Also CreoleGeisha, don't bullshiet Scorps here---you knew that the guy was all hot and heavy, and you enjoyed the attention. Scorps ARE GOOD when they're fixated on a person, don't you agree? It can be hard to resist that kind of attention, don't you think?
But to lead a Scorp on, whether it's intentional or not---is NEVER a good idea. Maybe with a Gemini or a Leo, it's okay. But with a Scorp??? It would be like playing with fire. You gotta know what you're doing---or else, severe consequences.
As for him "hiding you," he claimed you as his possession. In his mind, you are his---belongs to him. He already fated you to become his wife.
lol, after he marries you---he'll probably surgically insert a microchip in you while you're sleeping. After that, he'd be able to track you down at all times of the day. Not that he's going to monitor you---he just likes the idea that he'd be able to find you wherever, whenever he wants.

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Posted by beckamitchell
You say you love him and couldn't deny it. If you didn't work for him, would you date him?
If your answer is yes, I'd reconsider your stance on this man. The reason being that a real live passionate love is at your doorstep. How few chances in this life do we get to really, truly experience a deep love...


To a Libra, it doesn't matter. It has to be the right, ethical thing to do. If it's against policies to date, a Libra can't date. That's a right and only prescribed thing to do. If they don't do the right thing, then they can't look at themselves in a mirror, won't be able to sleep nights because they did something they're not supposed to do.
Never argue with a Libra about this. It would be futile.
Good grief.
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Posted by Gettothepoint
Posted by beckamitchell
You say you love him and couldn't deny it. If you didn't work for him, would you date him?
If your answer is yes, I'd reconsider your stance on this man. The reason being that a real live passionate love is at your doorstep. How few chances in this life do we get to really, truly experience a deep love...


To a Libra, it doesn't matter. It has to be the right, ethical thing to do. If it's against policies to date, a Libra can't date. That's a right and only prescribed thing to do. If they don't do the right thing, then they can't look at themselves in a mirror, won't be able to sleep nights because they did something they're not supposed to do.
Never argue with a Libra about this. It would be futile.
Good grief.
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Gettothepoint, do you think Capricorn thinks the same way as Libra, re: ethical issues. Just wondering...
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Posted by Gettothepoint
Posted by CreoleGeisha
Posted by MrFirebird
Creole,
Are you sure this is love and not "lust"?


Oh I love him very much. I've known him about nine years. We have lots of chemistry but I always thought it was more intellectual. Stick us in a room together, pull up a topic, and we're all over it, bouncing ideas around, and it's big fun and very stimulating.
I've never wanted him, not sure if he wants me or is/was a "dog in the manger." He's been "hiding" me from other people, don't know how else to describe it.


Oh. You're not attracted to him.
You love him BUT you're not in love with him. Right?


No, honestly. He's attractive -- quite attractive. I meant that he's not the kind of man I would normally choose as a love interest. Add to that I view him as off limits for the sake of professionalism... I suppose I haven't really permitted myself to consider whether I could fall in love with him.
He is basically a good, smart man, very attractive and sensitive and astute. I've always respected and appreciated him. But, yes, I've sort of held back on the love because it's not right to love on an employer.

Also CreoleGeisha, don't bullshiet Scorps here---you knew that the guy was all hot and heavy, and you enjoyed the attention. Scorps ARE GOOD when they're fixated on a person, don't you agree? It can be hard to resist that kind of attention, don't you think?


Cross my heart and hope to die...I wasn't SURE what he was doing! Honestly, some of his behaviors were/are pretty disturbing (to me, anyway). I posted about some of the more uncomfortable things that happened and many of the responses indicated this was pretty "normal" for a Scorp and not necessarily in love or courtship. Just behavior they'd show to anyone they cared about. He's NEVER TOLD me he loved me. Or asked me out or invited me anywhere beyond some family gatherings and get-togethers.
As far as the attention, the hiding, the sulking if I expressed love to ANYONE but him, I thought maybe he was having some kind of mid-life crisis, because, honestly, WHO ACTS LIKE THAT?
But to lead a Scorp on, whether it's intentional or not---is NEVER a good idea.
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Posted by Gettothepoint


But to lead a Scorp on, whether it's intentional or not---is NEVER a good idea. Maybe with a Gemini or a Leo, it's okay. But with a Scorp??? It would be like playing with fire. You gotta know what you're doing---or else, severe consequences.


I'm leading HIM on? Right.

As for him "hiding you," he claimed you as his possession. In his mind, you are his---belongs to him.


Well, see, we live in the post-Emancipation Era, so.. TOO BLOODY BAD!

lol, after he marries you---he'll probably surgically insert a microchip in you while you're sleeping. After that, he'd be able to track you down at all times of the day. Not that he's going to monitor you---he just likes the idea that he'd be able to find you wherever, whenever he wants.


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*looks absolutely miserable* He won't need the chip. He's so "in tune" with me already, he always seems to know just where I am, what I'm up to, etc.
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Posted by Rabbit
Air signs can be so adorable when they try to make sense of the nonsensical Tongue
I'm off to my Scorpion hole to wait for prey to wander within reach
-_-


*brows lifted, wags a finger in reproach*
Are you patronizing me?
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Posted by Rabbit
Patronizing?
I'd never do such a thing.


Oh. So you're just outright mocking me?
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Posted by Gettothepoint
Posted by beckamitchell
You say you love him and couldn't deny it. If you didn't work for him, would you date him?
If your answer is yes, I'd reconsider your stance on this man. The reason being that a real live passionate love is at your doorstep. How few chances in this life do we get to really, truly experience a deep love...


To a Libra, it doesn't matter. It has to be the right, ethical thing to do. If it's against policies to date, a Libra can't date. That's a right and only prescribed thing to do. If they don't do the right thing, then they can't look at themselves in a mirror, won't be able to sleep nights because they did something they're not supposed to do.
Never argue with a Libra about this. It would be futile.
Good grief.
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You know? You're right. But I'm not ashamed of trying to do the right thing. Rules exist for a reason and, usually, they prevent more harm than they cause. No matter what comes out of this, I don't think it would have been better if I didn't stay true to myself and do what I believed was right for both of us.
And, quite honestly, after sleeping on it, I'm ready to say "heck with it." If I can't be myself with him -- and be honest to him -- we can't sustain a solid relationship of any kind anyway.
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Posted by Montgomery
Posted by CreoleGeisha
1) Well, you see, some humans believing in ascribing to certain standards and ethics and professionalism. So yes, some of us support propriety. However, in this case, there is also a question of compromise of licensing ethics that could be damaging.
2) Oh yeah, we Libras triple entendre. I've failed abyssmally at marriage in the past, in no rush to try again.
3) YOU HAVEN'T BEEN READING YOU CRETIN! UGH!


Cretin?
*snicker*

I've read it all.



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Montgomery, I'm so sorry I called you a rude name. That was totally uncalled for. I don't even know you and I'm sure you meant no harm in what you said. Very sorry about that.
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Posted by MrFirebird
Creole,
Are you sure this is love and not "lust"?


MrFirebird, remember what I posted earlier?
"All hungry as the sea..."
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Posted by Rabbit
Posted by CreoleGeisha
Posted by Rabbit
Patronizing?
I'd never do such a thing.


Oh. So you're just outright mocking me?


You should probably read some of my other posts. If I was mocking you or had a problem with you...you'd know it.
Big Grin
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*nods, grins, cyberhugs*
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Posted by CreoleGeisha
Posted by MrFirebird
Creole,
Are you sure this is love and not "lust"?


Oh I love him very much. I've known him about nine years. We have lots of chemistry but I always thought it was more intellectual. Stick us in a room together, pull up a topic, and we're all over it, bouncing ideas around, and it's big fun and very stimulating.
I've never wanted him, not sure if he wants me or is/was a "dog in the manger." He's been "hiding" me from other people, don't know how else to describe it.
click to expand


You "love" him and you've known him for 9 years, you have lots of chemistry, yet, you're thinking it's
intellectual. You got along and worked and collaborated well together, and..... you've enjoyed the
experience. Yet, you also say that you've never wanted him, you don't know if he wants you as a doggie in a barn, yet you say he's been hiding you from other people.
- It sounds to me as though you or him, or the both of you, may have given each other the wrong impression and that false impression has existed for some time. I think the best thing for you
to do is to ask him what's going through his mind concerning the both of you. As yourself the same
question. Then ascertain the appropriate resolution to your relationship's specific problem.
If it's a case of he is in love with you and you not with him, it's all downhill from here.
Otherwise, the job will cease to be comfortable, as it were, and both of you will feel awkward from different standpoints.


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Posted by tiziani
Can't believe I'm going to say this but... yeah... why would you hide behind ethics and standards when it comes to someone you love?
If you didn't love them that much then fair enough, I understand. But if you do then that's an opportunity for change and you're turning away from it for static.
Nevertheless mixing business with pleasure is never a smart move. It means they own you and your destiny. And I can't say I'd advocate sacrificing a job for a relationship with no plan either.


There are professional licenses and reputations at stake. I've acted as I thought would best benefit the both of us.
Also, I've never been sure of his feelings and what all his changed behavior meant. Was he infatuated? In love? Experiencing early dementia? Demonic possession? Some of his courtship has been a tad cruel and stressful to me. He was scaring me. It's hard enough to decide anything about love and romance when you DON'T feel pressured and uncertain.
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Posted by MrFirebird
Posted by CreoleGeisha
Posted by MrFirebird
Creole,
Are you sure this is love and not "lust"?


Oh I love him very much. I've known him about nine years. We have lots of chemistry but I always thought it was more intellectual. Stick us in a room together, pull up a topic, and we're all over it, bouncing ideas around, and it's big fun and very stimulating.
I've never wanted him, not sure if he wants me or is/was a "dog in the manger." He's been "hiding" me from other people, don't know how else to describe it.


You "love" him and you've known him for 9 years, you have lots of chemistry, yet, you're thinking it's
intellectual. You got along and worked and collaborated well together, and..... you've enjoyed the
experience.


We're old family friends. He's 8 years my senior. We've always gotten along, but it hasn't been a romantic thing. He's taught and mentored me a lot and I look up to him. I've learned a lot from him and I like working with him a lot and I don't want to spoil that.

Yet, you also say that you've never wanted him, you don't know if he wants you as a doggie in a barn, yet you say he's been hiding you from other people.


I don't think he's my type and I'm pretty sure I'm not his type. I'm not like other women he's been with.
"Dog in the manger" is a figure of speech. It basically means, "I don't want you myself, but I don't want anyone else to have you, either." I thought maybe he was worried I'd meet someone and get married or leave town so I couldn't work for him anymore.
His behavior has changed towards me in ways I don't quite get. And some of the things he's done have hurt and confused me. Even scared me.

- It sounds to me as though you or him, or the both of you, may have given each other the wrong impression and that false impression has existed for some time. I think the best thing for you
to do is to ask him what's going through his mind concerning the both of you. As yourself the same
question. Then ascertain the appropriate resolution to your relationship's specific problem.
If it's a case of he is in love with you and you not with him, it's all downhill from here.
Otherwise, the j
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Posted by MrFirebird

- It sounds to me as though you or him, or the both of you, may have given each other the wrong impression and that false impression has existed for some time. I think the best thing for you
to do is to ask him what's going through his mind concerning the both of you. As yourself the same
question. Then ascertain the appropriate resolution to your relationship's specific problem.
If it's a case of he is in love with you and you not with him, it's all downhill from here.
Otherwise, the job will cease to be comfortable, as it were, and both of you will feel awkward from different standpoints.





I'll cop to being guilty of not seeing things I don't want to see. Your advice is sound and I'll see if I can talk to him after this freeze lets up. But yeah, I don't guess we can work together if we can't settle this. Thanks.
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Posted by tiziani
Well at least you had his best interests at heart. One door closes, another ten open. I'm sure there'll be another man down the line who doesn't feel the need to ice you out. Sometimes life with a Scorp is about taking them out the back in the alleyway with a rifle and putting them out their misery. The whole death and rebirth thing. Good luck.


Oh that's overkill in a big way. Thanks.
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Posted by Rabbit
Posted by tiziani
Well at least you had his best interests at heart. One door closes, another ten open. I'm sure there'll be another man down the line who doesn't feel the need to ice you out. Sometimes life with a Scorp is about taking them out the back in the alleyway with a rifle and putting them out their misery. The whole death and rebirth thing. Good luck.


False!
You want to use a .22 to the back of the skull to minimize the mess.
click to expand


Convincing a Scorp to go to some alleyway would NEVER work. A Scorp would drive you frackin' insane by asking way TOO many questions, looking all paranoid--overanalyzing each street, scenery. A person may end up wrapping his hands around a Scorp's neck. And squeeze. Hard.
Just to get a Scorp to knock it off with the questions.
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Posted by Gettothepoint
Posted by Rabbit
Posted by tiziani
Well at least you had his best interests at heart. One door closes, another ten open. I'm sure there'll be another man down the line who doesn't feel the need to ice you out. Sometimes life with a Scorp is about taking them out the back in the alleyway with a rifle and putting them out their misery. The whole death and rebirth thing. Good luck.


False!
You want to use a .22 to the back of the skull to minimize the mess.


Convincing a Scorp to go to some alleyway would NEVER work. A Scorp would drive you frackin' insane by asking way TOO many questions, looking all paranoid--overanalyzing each street, scenery. A person may end up wrapping his hands around a Scorp's neck. And squeeze. Hard.
Just to get a Scorp to knock it off with the questions.
click to expand


No, just sass the Scorp. He'll drop like you've just gutted him with a Bowie knife. God, I swear I will never speak so lightly to another human being I care about for the rest of my life.
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Posted by CreoleGeisha
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by CreoleGeisha
1) Well, you see, some humans believing in ascribing to certain standards and ethics and professionalism. So yes, some of us support propriety. However, in this case, there is also a question of compromise of licensing ethics that could be damaging.
2) Oh yeah, we Libras triple entendre. I've failed abyssmally at marriage in the past, in no rush to try again.
3) YOU HAVEN'T BEEN READING YOU CRETIN! UGH!


Cretin?
*snicker*

I've read it all.


Montgomery, I'm so sorry I called you a rude name. That was totally uncalled for. I don't even know you and I'm sure you meant no harm in what you said. Very sorry about that.


S'ok.. thanks.

Posted by CreoleGeisha
Posted by tiziani
Can't believe I'm going to say this but... yeah... why would you hide behind ethics and standards when it comes to someone you love?
If you didn't love them that much then fair enough, I understand. But if you do then that's an opportunity for change and you're turning away from it for static.
Nevertheless mixing business with pleasure is never a smart move. It means they own you and your destiny. And I can't say I'd advocate sacrificing a job for a relationship with no plan either.


There are professional licenses and reputations at stake. I've acted as I thought would best benefit the both of us.
Also, I've never been sure of his feelings and what all his changed behavior meant. Was he infatuated? In love? Experiencing early dementia? Demonic possession? Some of his courtship has been a tad cruel and stressful to me. He was scaring me. It's hard enough to decide anything about love and romance when you DON'T feel pressured and uncertain.
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Tizi +1

CG-- regarding the courtship: "a tad cruel and stressful... scaring" you.
How so?
Obviously you don't have to answer.
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Posted by Montgomery

CG-- regarding the courtship: "a tad cruel and stressful... scaring" you.
How so?
Obviously you don't have to answer.



It's okay. It's just that he changed toward me pretty abruptly. He tried to break in my locked office door one afternoon. Made something of a scene about it. He also has surveillance equipment installed throughout the office and I know he's watched me working. If I'm speaking to a male client or visitor, he calls me to interrupt it.
He's also been inconsistent. He was really put off by a more figure-conscious dress I wore to work one day. No problem, he's the boss, I don't want him put off, the dress went back in the closet. A short while later, he bought me a gorgeous dress that was FAR more figure-conscious and revealing than what I'd worn to work. Stuff like this left a big question mark over my head.
He's "chilled" me for noticing other men or talking favorably about other men. And I feel like he grudges me expressing love to others, even females. I'm not 100% sure, but I suspect he may have declined to hire a female applicant after witnessing us hug each other and discuss possibly travelling to Europe together.
Other times he's so loving, but it's different from how we've treated each other in the past. People talk about the "Scorpio death stare." They have a "love look," too. It's like every little bit of warmth and tenderness in them spills out of their eyes and straight into you. It was beautiful, but it was also scary to me to see it because it was different. New. And I wasn't sure what it really meant and where we really stood. He's never told me in words that he loves me. LOL...He's actually told me he loves a Christmas gift I gave him, but he's never said he loved me.
I've felt more like I'm being "corralled" or manipulated to behave the way he wants. A simple declaration or explanation would be fine. I cared about his comfort and I was willing to do a lot to make him happy. But I like knowing where things stand and what's expected. I don't want to be penalized for doing something wrong when I never knew it was wrong in the first place.
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