Should I tell Scorpio about past fling?

I've been with this Scorpio-in-Venus guy for while. It's a learning curve for me, being a Gemini. Things I think are no big deal I realize to him are a big deal. So I'm trying to understand things from his point of view.

I had a fling (prior to him) with a guy that is still part of my social circle. I see him occasionally at events (maybe once or twice a year) and when I see him I'm friendly with him in the same regard that I am to everyone else (i.e. I don't ignore him). I've told my Scorpio I did have a fling with a guy and he also knows about this circle of friends because we'll talk about them on occasion. But I've never come right out and told my Scorpio that this particular friend is also the guy I had a fling with.

So my guy and I were talking the other day and I mentioned something about someone from the group doing some work for me. And he asks "Is that the favorite one?" I said "What? I don't have a favorite one." And he said "Oh, don't lie to me" in a rather firm voice. I can't remember what I said back, but the conversation moved on from there.

Now I'm wondering, knowing how much Scorpios hate to be lied to, if I should come totally clean to him and tell him all about my past history with this guy or whether I should try to keep it to myself and just avoid talking about this guy. On one hand, I think it would be good for Scorpio to know everything, especially because then he knows I'm being totally honest with him. But on the other hand, I don't want him thinking there's something still going on with this guy and holding it against me or never fully trusting me.

What should I do? What would Scorpio men prefer?

keep it in your pocket to use just in case he pisses you off.

I'd be honest. If he finds out he won't trust you in the long run. However don't just tell him, wait for him to ask the specific question.

I'm a bit anxious about telling this scorpio (who has a scorpio in venus) some of my past, but I'm waiting till he asks me about it so that it's not like I'm saying it just to rub it in his face.

If you wait till he asks then it's like you're being truthful, but you're not being so much so that it's something he thinks you've been thinking about a lot. No guy wants to know you've been thinking about the time you slept with another guy. But he certainly doesn't want to just find about it either. Wait till he asks is a happy medium because he's the one who brought it up, not you.

Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by DMV
keep it in your pocket to use just in case he pisses you off.

As a Scorp moon, you should fucking know better... 🙂

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ya damn skippy. i should know better than to release valuable information that can later be used to my advantage.

also, why he's doing his homework on you, make sure you do your homework on him. you both should be making an informed decision about one another. i mean u wouldnt hire an employee without performing a background check right?

Posted by Nights22

I mean I really cant be surprised by some of the advice here I mean some memeber *cough* dmv *cough* have not had a healthy relationship in 30 years.

thats a gregarious statement considering im only 30 lol. unless im supposed to date as toddler, fill me in. besides, healthy is subjective.

but seriously, i had a 3 year relationship (lived together) with a leo. he never once asked me about my dating past. i never ask him about his.

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by DMV
keep it in your pocket to use just in case he pisses you off.

you act all tough DMV, but you are such a fucking pussy. hahaha.

uhhh i am DMV, nobody fuck with me or i??ll rip your heart out and admit that i have had sex behind your back.....
yeah super tactics and about as useful as a shot in the knee.

wth.

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my honesty is sometimes a hard pill for others to swallow.

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by DMV

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by DMV
keep it in your pocket to use just in case he pisses you off.

you act all tough DMV, but you are such a fucking pussy. hahaha.

uhhh i am DMV, nobody fuck with me or i??ll rip your heart out and admit that i have had sex behind your back.....
yeah super tactics and about as useful as a shot in the knee.

wth.

my honesty is sometimes a hard pill for others to swallow.

contradict yourself some more, please.

first you say, hide the info and use it against him/her for later - then you call yourself honest?

get fucking lost.

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i was being honest with the OP on what i would do. im a subjective person. all the advice i give will be based on what i have experienced.

i have no idea who this scorpio dude is, but from all the scorpios ive had relations with, they borderline paranoia and intuition (including myself).

she's going to tell him that she slept with so and so. then she has a 50/50 chance of him believing her fling was the only one and that it wasnt any deeper than sex. on the flipside, he may think that where there's smoke, there's fire.

in my relationships, i admit, i follow an unorthodox path, but so do my partners. i attract what i am and adjust myself accordingly.

so yes, i would save that information and keep it to myself and use it if i have 2.

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by DMV

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by DMV
keep it in your pocket to use just in case he pisses you off.

you act all tough DMV, but you are such a fucking pussy. hahaha.

uhhh i am DMV, nobody fuck with me or i??ll rip your heart out and admit that i have had sex behind your back.....
yeah super tactics and about as useful as a shot in the knee.

wth.

my honesty is sometimes a hard pill for others to swallow.

contradict yourself some more, please.

first you say, hide the info and use it against him/her for later - then you call yourself honest?

get fucking lost.

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p.s. no, you get fucking lost

Posted by DazedScorp
I twas before they got together anyways.

So who the fuck cares? I wouldn't.

We've all gotten laid before our current S/O right?

I think the issue here is that he would know who the guy is who has tickled her pink since they are still active in the same social circle. If he has a problem with that, she should probably let him go...

That Scorp isn't going to put up with a Gems shit stank for long anyways.

if he loves her, he will...right?

I think you should let it out. He already senses something. If he's mature enough to handle it, he'll respect you for it. If he isn't mature enough to understand it, let him go now, before it gets too deep. I mean, sure, you could hide it and play games, but why start a relationship off like that? Unless of course, deep down inside, you like playing games in relationships. If you want something real, BE real. If you lose him, he wasn't yours to have anyway.

Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by DMV

if he loves her, he will...right?

I'd rather shove a flaming hot iron rod down my urethra.

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hmmm

I think I'm leaning toward wait until he brings it up again and then be totally honest with him about my past with this guy. With that in mind, there's a possibility that once he knows about this other guy he may not want me talking with him ever again, or he might be suspicious anytime he knows I am at an event where this guy is. In that case I guess I'll have to determine what I want more: my boyfriend or to stay friends with this other guy.

I wouldn't say anything. Your with your Scorpio now, it's not like theirs any indecisiveness in that. I'm seeing a lot of Scorpio male Gemini female matches.

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by DMV

Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by DMV
keep it in your pocket to use just in case he pisses you off.

As a Scorp moon, you should fucking know better... 🙂

ya damn skippy. i should know better than to release valuable information that can later be used to my advantage.

you mean to your disadvantage.....

all these fucking games, no wonder people are so lonely and desperate nowdays....

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Agreed. People quit playing games and just be honest with each other. Love and trust go hand in hand. If he can't be honest then screw him, but that doesn't mean you have to play the same game. Be the better person

Posted by Maygirl
I think I'm leaning toward wait until he brings it up again and then be totally honest with him about my past with this guy. With that in mind, there's a possibility that once he knows about this other guy he may not want me talking with him ever again, or he might be suspicious anytime he knows I am at an event where this guy is. In that case I guess I'll have to determine what I want more: my boyfriend or to stay friends with this other guy.

That is a tough decision. Depends on if you see yourself with this guy in the future.

I could see myself with the scorpio I'm seeing now so of course the answer for me was obvious: Don't talk to the other guy. Then again the other guy for me was my ex. It's just respect at that point to not talk to that other person. If you can't justify not talking to him than let your bf go I suppose

I think you need to be honest and bring it up now and without him mentioning it again. I think you need to know what your own personal decision is in what you want to do with your friendship with this other guy prior to telling him though. The reason I say this is he is already brewing and stewing on it, which means it will start effecting other things with you two and/or his attitude towards you, etc. out of it building up in not only who it is, but why you didn't tell him when he mentioned it. Quite honestly when he asked you the way he did, he was hoping or expecting you would say who it was. Not necessarily in WHY he asked but that he would have just expected if there was nothing to hide or anything, you would say it when he asked with no problem.

I feel if you don't tell him, it's going to grow his suspicions of things...remember, imagined or not. Also should you run into this guy, or let's say go to a party and he happens to be there and you're with Scorp, and he is sideblinded either during or after the fact? He's not going to appreciate it a bit when you did have an opportunity to tell him now, and you didn't. Everyone has a past, true. But if he's asking there's a reason in his mind. It may open a huge can of worms, but I have a feeling that can of worms is already slowly opening again in his mind. It's better to just face it head on and tell him on your own accord so it shows there is NO reason to not tell him then to make him feel you are hiding things, because I can about bet the bank if you wait or not come forward he will think there IS something to hide, etc. and/or look at you differently once he finds out on his own. And he will. He's putting you in a good position to show maturity, and openess. Don't blow it. Just my thought.

:::: shakes head ::::



There is nothing to tell. I'm surprised at the amount of people who are feeding into this.


You had a life before him, and you shall have a life after him .... as will he.


Don't you realize that if you succomb to honoring this as if you've done something wrong, only then do you have somethign to hide?


If the only thing you've done is have a life, then why are you playing the part of somethign to hide from him?



And not just you ... look at all the people in here who are also talking to you as if you have something that you must tell him if you are to keep him trusting you and believing in you.


Seriously ... if he doubts you to the point to where you feel like you have to become paranoid and/or guilty that you have a life, then he's not even a keeper. This concept seems to fly right over everyones head .. except mine.

Only reason I say tell him is because you still roll in the same social circle. No one said you were a Nun before him but you're still see this guy from time to time. He deserves to know for that reason alone.

Posted by ScorpioMackin
Only reason I say tell him is because you still roll in the same social circle. No one said you were a Nun before him but you're still see this guy from time to time. He deserves to know for that reason alone.

This is correct. 100% agree.

Posted by ScorpioMackin
Only reason I say tell him is because you still roll in the same social circle. No one said you were a Nun before him but you're still see this guy from time to time. He deserves to know for that reason alone.

+1

Imagine the Scorps horror to know that this other dude banged his girl way back when, and the Scorp has no idea. Not that she 'had a life' before him, but a person in the Scorpios social circle shares a secret with his own partner.

I'd imagine he'd feel really betrayed.



That whole, "jokes on you" bit can be humiliating.

Posted by ScorpioMackin
Only reason I say tell him is because you still roll in the same social circle. No one said you were a Nun before him but you're still see this guy from time to time. He deserves to know for that reason alone.

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Posted by ScorpioMackin
Only reason I say tell him is because you still roll in the same social circle. No one said you were a Nun before him but you're still see this guy from time to time. He deserves to know for that reason alone.

This is exactly why I think I should tell him. I don't want him being blindsided if it should come out some other way. I don't want to hurt him at all that way. Plus, I want to be upfront enough with him to assure him that even though I might still talk to this guy on occasion, there is absolutely nothing there and there's no way I would ever let anything happen again. And if he wants me to tell him every thing I ever say to this other guy just to be sure, I'd be happy to. However, there's a bit of an aspect to what happened with this other guy that I'm not exactly proud of, and I'm worried that my Scorpio-in-Venus will think less of me after knowing this. That's why I've been hesitant to just come right out and tell him. I was sort of hoping it would just never come up.

Posted by Maygirl

Posted by ScorpioMackin
Only reason I say tell him is because you still roll in the same social circle. No one said you were a Nun before him but you're still see this guy from time to time. He deserves to know for that reason alone.

This is exactly why I think I should tell him. I don't want him being blindsided if it should come out some other way. I don't want to hurt him at all that way. Plus, I want to be upfront enough with him to assure him that even though I might still talk to this guy on occasion, there is absolutely nothing there and there's no way I would ever let anything happen again. And if he wants me to tell him every thing I ever say to this other guy just to be sure, I'd be happy to. However, there's a bit of an aspect to what happened with this other guy that I'm not exactly proud of, and I'm worried that my Scorpio-in-Venus will think less of me after knowing this. That's why I've been hesitant to just come right out and tell him. I was sort of hoping it would just never come up.

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That is none of his business in all honesty about details. Just tell him who the guy is, and what you stated above. I would draw the line if he starts to encroach onto that territory if he thinks he needs to know anything more than who it is.