well he also gets mad when i try to tell him hes just using me for sex. but if he wasn't, we'd have clearer intentions right.
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Feb 08, 2008Comments: 0 · Posts: 1048 · Topics: 11
aries based on what you've just written and the length of time you've known this guy, his behaviour isn't that strange for a scorp at the start of a relationship.
Send me a PM with details if you want and I'll help you as best I can. I'm not 100% sure he's using you but I know there's probably more you're not telling which would be helpful to really know what's going on and advise you.
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
***don't scorpios usually make it very clear they are into you?***
Yes, when they are truly into you and want to be with you only.
However, like emgem said, he told you he didn't want a long-distant relationship. He never changed that. Always take what scorps say as truth when it comes to their intentions. That wasn't a game. He meant it. Look at his actions. BTW, after he has told you he doesn't feel as though he is doing anyhting wrong. Because he told you. Now if the sex is great why wouldn't he keep shagging you?
I agree that two consenting adults can be casual or serious. I have done both, but when casual (accept for with the scorp) i keep emotions at bay. Just get together for the great sex, hang out have a drink, go jogging, or other things you would do with friends, the only difference would be, this friend comes with benefits. Once emotions get involved. It is time to hit the bricks especially if you are clearly the only one with the emotions.
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Feb 08, 2008Comments: 0 · Posts: 1048 · Topics: 11
"However, like emgem said, he told you he didn't want a long-distant relationship. He never changed that. Always take what scorps say as truth when it comes to their intentions."
I disagree with that and I have examples to back that up. First of all if I were to have believed that, I wouldn't be married to one. They can say contradictory things in the beginning to find out what you think about something. They don't necessarily speak the truth.
"That wasn't a game. He meant it. Look at his actions."
All his actions say above is that he enjoys having sex with her. Maybe even enjoys being with her. I personally don't think based on the limited information she's given, we can conclude one way or the other.
My scorp slept with me after one month and still called me a friend and I bet all of you would have said, he's not interested in a relationship. He'd just come out of a relationship when he started with me, by the way. Oh, and he'd said his plans were to leave the country and live elsewhere. Did he go? No.
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
***My scorp slept with me after one month and still called me a friend and I bet all of you would have said, he's not interested in a relationship. He'd just come out of a relationship when he started with me, by the way. Oh, and he'd said his plans were to leave the country and live elsewhere. Did he go? No.***
Yeah, that could be true. If I left it up to my scorp friend he would be with me still wether he officially divorced his wife or not. I want more so I ended it. However, did your scorp act like all he wanted was sex? Really? Even as my involvement with my scorp friend started mutual on both our behalfs it got deeper as we went on so yes it can change if you both are on the same page. But she wants a relationship right now and he doesn't. So YES, he is saying what he means even if it is for now. Look at his actions. I have never known a scorp who has decided they wanted a person in their life as a mate act this way at all.
In my opinion you both have to be on the same page period. Or one will be recentful and the othere will think all is well.
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
Scorps are very clear about their intentions and rarely if ever make up some lie for the heck of it. Even if it changes later.
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Feb 08, 2008Comments: 0 · Posts: 1048 · Topics: 11
"But she wants a relationship right now and he doesn't."
This is the bit I'm confused on. Where is everybody getting this? Or is there a post she made that I missed?
All I recall her saying is that he said he didnt want a long distance relationship. I mean, who does? Maybe in that week he disappeared he was thinking about it. Who knows? All we know after that, he asked her to go see him. They had sex. Who wouldn't if they're attracted to each other?
She seems to be voicing her worries that he just wants her for sex because he's not being clear about their "title". Which scorp man IS? My question would be, why does she think this? IMO he hasn't done anything yet to show he's only after sex...unless she hasn't told us something...or maybe she contacted him first - like I told her NOT to. Or was that advice to someone else :: raises eyebrow ::
Too many scorp queries.
lol..newbie, I think it was me you gave that advive, too many similar situations here..
hey i will write a longer more elaborate post soon. i am very stressed out recently and haven't had the time to make a decent post. stay tuned.
p.s i didn't contact first.
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
Since they are long distance this would be the only kind of relationship they could have = him not wanting a long distant relationship = her wanting to label what they have a relationship = she wanting one and him not. Long distant mind you.
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
If he isn't in school can't he see you more? I agree about the excuse. I don't think he wants anything serious right now or he would make it happen. Period.
just very aloof behavior. no calling or talking or even giving very clear expectations of what he wants. i have to beat anything out of him and im sure hes just telling me what i want to hear.
damn, i just like to get it out my mind and get feedback.. it helps confirm things for me.
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
***just very aloof behavior. no calling or talking or even giving very clear expectations of what he wants. i have to beat anything out of him and im sure hes just telling me what i want to hear.***
Reading your more detailed posts. He just wants to bang you nothing more. Or he would act on it.
Newbie, I am sure your scorp didn't go about things this way with you. Right?
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
F'ngA is right. Stop the madness. He is totally using you. You already know this.
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Feb 08, 2008Comments: 0 · Posts: 1048 · Topics: 11
"Newbie, I am sure your scorp didn't go about things this way with you. Right?"
The thing with this situation is that it's too confusing to understand. She's giving the story in intermittent bits that dont make sense when put together. She says he's doing all the contacting and that they were together last night...then suddenly he's aloof. A few hours of not calling makes him aloof?
I dont get it and no, QS, my scorp wasn't like this but that's only because I didn't pressure him. I went with the flow (see below)
"***just very aloof behavior. no calling or talking or even giving very clear expectations of what he wants. i have to beat anything out of him and im sure hes just telling me what i want to hear.***"
Aries I told you in one of your other threads that if you pressure him and start asking all those 20 questions HE WILL BECOME EVASIVE AND PUSH. This is EXACTLY what you're seeing here. It is too early in your relationship to question him.
I'm sorry, but you need to understand the scorp male mind. It may not agree with the theories of "let's talk darling" at least not in the beginning (actually probably not ever) but that is the way they work...in REAL LIFE.
He's emotional and trying to figure out his emotions. When you start questioning him, you're forcing him to put logic to his emotions and then he struggles because he can't. And he can't because he doesnt understand them yet. Which is why you let him chase, because when you do this, you give him space to decide when to contact you and thereby realise within himself how he feels about you.
Other than that, I don't know what else to tell you. If you cant go with the flow, and desperately need to categorise what you are to him NOW, even when he's the one initiating contact, then I advise you to walk away from that scorp man or your impatience will push him away for good.
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
***Which is why you let him chase, because when you do this, you give him space to decide when to contact you and thereby realise within himself how he feels about you.***
This is true. They don't mind chasing when they truly like you. They can care less if you haven't called them first in a month!
However newbie, she has clearly shown through her threads that he cannot seriously be interested in her. Everyone knows a scorp who is TRULY interested does not make excuses for why he can't see you or just call you when his dick gets hard.
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Feb 08, 2008Comments: 0 · Posts: 1048 · Topics: 11
"Everyone knows a scorp who is TRULY interested does not make excuses for why he can't see you or just call you when his dick gets hard."
I dont know. I dont get the story. It's too vague...plus if I recall correctly, the only reason we are being led to think this is the only reason he calls, is because she has voiced her OWN fears, which may not necessarily be reality. Didn't she say they've known each other a year or two but only recently had sex? So how come he never called her for sex if that was all he was after?
Anyway, bottom line is she doesn't have the patience needed to be with or start out with a scorp. Read all the astrology books or google. They all say the same thing. Patience is key with these guys. Reality proves this point as well. In fact a scorp male once said, if you're a taurus and you don't have the patience for a scorp, who does? (reiterating my point about scorps not wanting to be rushed)
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
Yeah, I can admit, we scorp females want what we want when we want it (JUST LIKE SCORP MALES) however we hate to be rushed.
He just doesn't seem that into her right now. He is using a lot of excuses not to see her etc.
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
This is what she said in her Scorpio behaviour post:
***well i said i'd see him every weekend. i am a student teacher pushing 40 hrs.***
Now she is complaining that he doesn't make an effort to see her more? He told her he didn't want just a weekend relationship. So why is she pissed. She is getting what she asked for a weekend thing... He doesn't want a long distant weekend relationship. She says she didn't but now upset because he won't make more time to see her and says he is making it an excuse?
Again! It sounds like in her mind this is more than it actually is or she wants it to be more than what it is.
and when i said aloof behavior i just mean... detached .. showing no emotion really. not really being clear.. and being vague
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Aug 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 5176 · Topics: 77
Again, he mentions not wanting anything serious. Where is the confusion?
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Feb 08, 2008Comments: 0 · Posts: 1048 · Topics: 11
Ok Aries, based on what you've just written here's my take. You are in control of this situation and you don't even realise it.
You can push him off a cliff (hell, I go through the same with mine)but please, PLEASE, stop pushing him for answers. He's already moving towards you with his actions. Go with the flow. If you do, and keep on letting him chase, in about 2 to 3 months, you'll have the answers you're looking for.
He's already trying to take over your world. How? By trying to control how often he sees you. The fact he ACTUALLY wants to see you says a LOT and to me it doesn't sound like it's just for sex.
Just tell him you can only see him over the weekend and leave it at that. In time you'll be asking him, what was this you were saying about long distance?
"and he said well i don't know if i want to be serious because i might move.. and i said " well do what you gotta do" and basically said have a good life ok? and he responded " well maybe we should hang out more" " we'll talk about it later" and that was that."
You see how quickly he changed his tune in the above dialogue? If he were really going to move, how would seeing you more fix things? Keep responding the way you did above when he comes up with shit like that. He just wants to see more of you - he's becoming possessive.
Just keep living your life and see him when you can...and enjoy those messages he sends. And let him chase (very important) AND no more "where is this going?" talks (even MORE important).
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Mar 01, 2008Comments: 0 · Posts: 356 · Topics: 10
*Now i never said i wanted something serious, i insinuated i did like "hey you won't remember any of this when i go home anyway!" *
And that is insinuating you want something serious HOW, exactly?? Read and remember: Men take your words at face value. They don't spend hours agonising over them, dissecting them and wondering if what we really meant was something else. They listen, they hear, they accept. Simple souls... lol
If by any chance he DID think about what you'd said, he probably decided you were playin games (which you were), which would've gone down like a lead balloon.
If you can't be patient, there's really no point you pursuing this... Back off the poor guy! If he has to prove his feelings in tortuous ways NOW, what will you be like in six months?? I know it's hard but really, either you are serious about him and therefore will take some of the good advice on here, or this is an ego trip, in which case get out for both your sakes.
Do you really want that sting to ruin the rest of your year?
so im either be totally used or hes really into me. thanks guys. i like newbie , you seem to know all the psychological tricks.
yeah its real, you're just not ignorant of the situation.
hey man i dated a scorp for 3 years, and i broke it off with him.. so its not like me and scorpio or something.