TrueScorp12
@TrueScorp12
11 YearsScorpio
Comments: 0 · Posts: 69 · Topics: 5
Standing on the line - walk or wait?
I may not be much help but so far no one has really responded so I'll take a stab at it. This combo is tough because communication is a problem with taurus/scorps. Soooo this cat and mouse game is pretty characteristic of dating a taurus in the beginning.
He's still assessing you and how you will fit into his life. He's focused on his work and his kids and as long as you understand those are priorities for him and he May dissappear from time to time to deal with stress or take care of things it can work.
He must still be deciding on you because he's still in contact so he may very well like you it's just they need to be around you. He needs to have his 5 senses engaged and it seems you guys are having trouble connecting (schedule conflicts) which is why he may take a step back to refocus himself.
If it's really worth it to you hang in there that window of opportunity will present itself again and if it's meant things will happen naturally and flow smoothly. If not take that as a sign and start taking a step back yourself so that you can move on.
If he's really interested he'll make the time to spend with you. Not sure if you have met his kids or if you guys are even at that point but maybe you could plan a outing that you all could enjoy. Maybe you could offer to come to the kids games show your support and leave. Next time you all could go for pizza afterward. Find ways to incorporate yourself in his life. If he's not ready or keeps you at a distance even after you've made the effort-- take that as your cue and exit stage left.
He's still assessing you and how you will fit into his life. He's focused on his work and his kids and as long as you understand those are priorities for him and he May dissappear from time to time to deal with stress or take care of things it can work.
He must still be deciding on you because he's still in contact so he may very well like you it's just they need to be around you. He needs to have his 5 senses engaged and it seems you guys are having trouble connecting (schedule conflicts) which is why he may take a step back to refocus himself.
If it's really worth it to you hang in there that window of opportunity will present itself again and if it's meant things will happen naturally and flow smoothly. If not take that as a sign and start taking a step back yourself so that you can move on.
If he's really interested he'll make the time to spend with you. Not sure if you have met his kids or if you guys are even at that point but maybe you could plan a outing that you all could enjoy. Maybe you could offer to come to the kids games show your support and leave. Next time you all could go for pizza afterward. Find ways to incorporate yourself in his life. If he's not ready or keeps you at a distance even after you've made the effort-- take that as your cue and exit stage left.
SCORPIOGYRL: Thanks for your response 🙂
I definitely understand the work and kid thing as I am busy with that myself.
When he steps back I do the same to recentre myself. It seems that he doesn't want to make the time - I've told him I will make time for him. There has been times when he spins it to say to me 'when you have time for me' At the same time he does seem to like me since after all this time he keeps coming back. There was a long break end of summer and at that time I moved on - or so I thought - briefly dated someone and then out of nowhere he came back.
We are not even close to including the kids in anything and I am ok with that. I will be very slow to introduce my child to anyone.
I guess at this point - almost 2 years - in my mind is how he could still be 'deciding' or unsure of me. I suppose I find that hard because I am so sure of him.
It's been going on so long now that I just have to wonder if anything will ever happen. I would like it too and hope it will but I also don't want to wait forever.
I definitely understand the work and kid thing as I am busy with that myself.
When he steps back I do the same to recentre myself. It seems that he doesn't want to make the time - I've told him I will make time for him. There has been times when he spins it to say to me 'when you have time for me' At the same time he does seem to like me since after all this time he keeps coming back. There was a long break end of summer and at that time I moved on - or so I thought - briefly dated someone and then out of nowhere he came back.
We are not even close to including the kids in anything and I am ok with that. I will be very slow to introduce my child to anyone.
I guess at this point - almost 2 years - in my mind is how he could still be 'deciding' or unsure of me. I suppose I find that hard because I am so sure of him.
It's been going on so long now that I just have to wonder if anything will ever happen. I would like it too and hope it will but I also don't want to wait forever.
? Well you've already wasted 2 years of your life chasing, begging, pleading:
Posted by TrueScorp12
The first meeting was kinda planned... He said he may have time between sports and kids but wasn't sure....He messaged later and said he would have a short time...I had fallen asleep and missed his msg. He was deeply upset by this and then refused to meet me for so long. I apologized so much...For almost a year I tried to convince him to meet me-always a no and eventually maybes...then breaks(break meaning not much to no texting) here and there-after a long break he was back and we did finally meet!
and compromising yourself:
Posted by TrueScorp12
...fast forward 6mths-a couple breaks again and then a second meeting at my home. Was last minute and short....I had my kid but he was asleep-I would never and have never let any man into my home when my kid was there.
and yet, you did and just down the hall from your son...
Posted by TrueScorp12
There was no sex but there was some nudity...click to expand
all to be blessed with his presence for brief (but "great" 😎) moments of time on 2 occasions.
He's coming back because you take him back without any expectations of taking you seriously. Why would he take your desire to be in a relationship seriously if you don't take it or yourself seriously?
Posted by TrueScorp12
My feelings for him are deep-more than I have felt for anyone since my marriage ended...He has been slow and hesitate from the start...
Slow and hesitant has nothing to do with it. The man stated he only wanted casual. On top of that, at the first sign of disappointment he was ready to walk away:
Posted by TrueScorp12
...I had fallen asleep and missed his msg He was deeply upset by this and then refused to meet me for so long...He said it made him realize he should focus on work and kids and he had been looking for casual only but he liked me more than that but he doesn't have time for more.
and this is the man you feel deeply for? How exactly did that develop given it seems very one sided? He has wrapped all the buzz words ("I like you more than that") around his real intentions.
Do you really believe it takes a person 2 years to decide if they want to date you? Yet, he can get naked with you without a thought.
Posted by TrueScorp12
So I guess my question is - should I continue to hold out hope for anything?click to expand
I'm not sure how to advise you. I will ask, is there a reason you're willing to settle for scraps?
PhoenixRising: I wouldn't say I have wasted 2years - I have still been living my life and have dated as well.
I can't explain why I feel deeply for him - I know it seems crazy and half the time I think I am in fact crazy! Lol. I just feel a great connection to him like I have never before and I cannot understand it myself. I don't feel like it has always been one-sided but perhaps it has and I have not noticed nor cared.
No I don't think it should take this long for someone to decide - it is bc of what I have read about Taurus men that the slowness makes sense...kind of...even as I type I shake my head at myself bc I realize how insane it seems.
Sometimes I think it is him but then sometimes I see from his side and it could seem like I am the one giving 'scraps' - bc of the napping first time and then I don't say yes often - it is me a lot that says no bc I am busy. However I do have more time than he does. I also stopped asking him for time months ago - I no longer put forth much effort.
I really appreciate your response and the directness might be just what I need to either end it and move on or to be very clear with him as to what I want (that convo was so long ago that the answer has changed)
There is one other thing that I just don't understand - if just casual and I did offer that at one point why not act on it? Why continue with chatting with none of what he said he was looking for? Nudity just one time seems odd - casual isn't that hard to find so why is he wasting his time with me when there is so little time for even casual if that is what he wants from me.
Also side question - new to posting on here and wondering how do you paste and bold things others post and then add the comment on them?
I can't explain why I feel deeply for him - I know it seems crazy and half the time I think I am in fact crazy! Lol. I just feel a great connection to him like I have never before and I cannot understand it myself. I don't feel like it has always been one-sided but perhaps it has and I have not noticed nor cared.
No I don't think it should take this long for someone to decide - it is bc of what I have read about Taurus men that the slowness makes sense...kind of...even as I type I shake my head at myself bc I realize how insane it seems.
Sometimes I think it is him but then sometimes I see from his side and it could seem like I am the one giving 'scraps' - bc of the napping first time and then I don't say yes often - it is me a lot that says no bc I am busy. However I do have more time than he does. I also stopped asking him for time months ago - I no longer put forth much effort.
I really appreciate your response and the directness might be just what I need to either end it and move on or to be very clear with him as to what I want (that convo was so long ago that the answer has changed)
There is one other thing that I just don't understand - if just casual and I did offer that at one point why not act on it? Why continue with chatting with none of what he said he was looking for? Nudity just one time seems odd - casual isn't that hard to find so why is he wasting his time with me when there is so little time for even casual if that is what he wants from me.
Also side question - new to posting on here and wondering how do you paste and bold things others post and then add the comment on them?
Posted by TrueScorp12
There is one other thing that I just don't understand - if just casual and I did offer that at one point why not act on it? Why continue with chatting with none of what he said he was looking for? Nudity just one time seems odd - casual isn't that hard to find so why is he wasting his time with me when there is so little time for even casual if that is what he wants from me.
So, you've been sending mixed messages about what you want. Got it. Do you want casual or more? This thread contradicts that proposal, so why did you even offer it?
It also sounds like you're doing the "fixed" thing where you are so attached to an idea, no matter how illogical it sounds, you have convinced yourself you're not mistaken. If you want to look for something that suggest he cares more than he is showing, you will latch onto anything.
I don't think it means anything more than "I am busy and this isn't really worth my time, so if she willing to accept this, then that's all I'm offering"
Just because a man doesn't accept casual sex, it doesn't mean he wants more---especially is he has said "I can't give more". It simply means he doesn't want casual sex.
Perhaps in this context casual for him simply meant "I'll catch up with you after I've done everything in the world I'd rather be doing instead". I write that based on what you wrote in the OP (original post)
Posted by TrueScorp12
Also side question - new to posting on here and wondering how do you paste and bold things others post and then add the comment on them?
click to expand
1. Hit "quote" above the users name
look through my post and you will see what you wrote and what I added to it (brackets with "b" enclosed) to highlight different areas of your post.
You're not crazy, but I question your ability to think clearly regarding this man. This is why:
Why would you not care if the object of your affection does not feel the same?
I understand having a connection with someone, but "connection" implies it is mutual and the energy is reciprocated. Anything else is not a connection imo. It's infatuation.
I think sometimes water signs can get so overwhelmed with their feelings they lose perspective and assume the feelings are mutual and run with it. If his feelings were mutual there would be little doubt and you wouldn't be chasing after his attention.
Take what you read about any sign with a grain of salt. Half the crap I read about Scorps is nonsense, so why would any other sign be different? The whole chart, experience and age also need to be considered when looking at someone. However all of this is irrelevant. If the man moves as slow as an injured seal and you desire a man that will be there and wants to give you more than brief moments of his time, why settle for less? That's all that matters.
Okay, he's busy. That isn't anything to fault the man for, but that simple means a relationship needs to be seeked elsewhere, despite the "connection" you feel. As a fixed sign it can be hard for us to move one once we fixate on a person/thing/issue. That can work against you if you don't learn to manage that.
As for the falling asleep being viewed as you offering scraps...come on now. Are you kidding me? Let me guess, you fell asleep while you were waiting for him to finish whatever he was taking care of....
Posted by TrueScorp12
I don't feel like it has always been one-sided but perhaps it has and I have not noticed nor cared.
Why would you not care if the object of your affection does not feel the same?
I understand having a connection with someone, but "connection" implies it is mutual and the energy is reciprocated. Anything else is not a connection imo. It's infatuation.
I think sometimes water signs can get so overwhelmed with their feelings they lose perspective and assume the feelings are mutual and run with it. If his feelings were mutual there would be little doubt and you wouldn't be chasing after his attention.
Take what you read about any sign with a grain of salt. Half the crap I read about Scorps is nonsense, so why would any other sign be different? The whole chart, experience and age also need to be considered when looking at someone. However all of this is irrelevant. If the man moves as slow as an injured seal and you desire a man that will be there and wants to give you more than brief moments of his time, why settle for less? That's all that matters.
Okay, he's busy. That isn't anything to fault the man for, but that simple means a relationship needs to be seeked elsewhere, despite the "connection" you feel. As a fixed sign it can be hard for us to move one once we fixate on a person/thing/issue. That can work against you if you don't learn to manage that.
As for the falling asleep being viewed as you offering scraps...come on now. Are you kidding me? Let me guess, you fell asleep while you were waiting for him to finish whatever he was taking care of....
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by TrueScorp12
So, you've been sending mixed messages about what you want. Got it. Do you want casual or more? This thread contradicts that proposal, so why did you even offer it?.
It's slightly complicated about what was said in the beginning verus recently etc re: casual or more. I have changed my mind a few times - not always him knowing this but it needs to be discussed now or I move on. That's the 2 options I've given myself. Just the follow through I need to work on.
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by TrueScorp12
It also sounds like you're doing the "fixed" thing where you are so attached to an idea, no matter how illogical it sounds, you have convinced yourself you're not mistaken. If you want to look for something that suggest he cares more than he is showing, you will latch onto anything. .click to expand
You may be right here - I'm not sure how to stop. I even dated someone end of summer and thought I had forgotten/moved on from Taurus and then he came back out of nowhere and its like nothing changed. I do not persue him anymore though - I never ask to see him etc. Trying (although not very well) to be distant and to detach myself.
Thanks for the tip - hoping I just did that right! Haha.
Posted by PhoenixRising
You're not crazy, but I question your ability to think clearly regarding this man. This is why:
Posted by TrueScorp12
I don't feel like it has always been one-sided but perhaps it has and I have not noticed nor cared.
Why would you not care if the object of your affection does not feel the same?
I understand having a connection with someone, but "connection" implies it is mutual and the energy is reciprocated. Anything else is not a connection imo. It's infatuation.
I think sometimes water signs can get so overwhelmed with their feelings they lose perspective and assume the feelings are mutual and run with it. If his feelings were mutual there would be little doubt and you wouldn't be chasing after his attention.
Take what you read about any sign with a grain of salt. Half the crap I read about Scorps is nonsense, so why would any other sign be different? The whole chart, experience and age also need to be considered when looking at someone. However all of this is irrelevant. If the man moves as slow as an injured seal and you desire a man that will be there and wants to give you more than brief moments of his time, why settle for less? That's all that matters.
Okay, he's busy. That isn't anything to fault the man for, but that simple means a relationship needs to be seeked elsewhere, despite the "connection" you feel. As a fixed sign it can be hard for us to move one once we fixate on a person/thing/issue. That can work against you if you don't learn to manage that.
As for the falling asleep being viewed as you offering scraps...come on now. Are you kidding me? Let me guess, you fell asleep while you were waiting for him to finish whatever he was taking care of....click to expand
I feel a lot like we are both the same - not willing to put forth too much effort or time but at the same time neither of us can let go. Both scared maybe or just indifferent to changing what it is or moving forward. I know I change my mind a lot - just in my mind - about what I want in general and what I think I want from him.
You are so right with all you said - all that matters is what I want and what he gives and if it isn't what I want then I need to move on. But what do I want? Well despite being a fixed sign that seems to change regularly! Lol
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Then first meeting was kinda planned (he has very little free time as he works shift work and when he's off he has his kids(2)) He said he may have time between sports and kids but wasn't sure. He messaged later and said he would have a short time-I had fallen asleep and missed his msg He was deeply upset by this and then refused to meet me for so long. I apologized so much and when it comes up I still mention how horrible I feel. He said it made him realize he should focus on work and kids and he had been looking for casual only but he liked me more than that but he doesn't have time for more.
For almost a year I tried to convince him to meet me-always a no and eventually maybes.
Then there was a couple times we almost did-miscommunication and limited time prevented it. Then breaks(break meaning not much to no texting) here and there-after a long break he was back and we did finally meet! For a quick coffee but it was great. We continued to talk and then fast forward 6mths-a couple breaks again and then a second meeting at my home. Was last minute and short. I had my kid but he was asleep-I would never and have never let any man into my home when my kid was there. We seem to be very comfotable with each other and it was a great time(short though) There was no sex but there was some nudity There was a slight convo about trying to find more time.
Then holiday season came and both busy etc. I didn't expect much-we have talked but not a ton and very brief.
Sometimes I love the slowness bc I need that!! And then sometimes I think I'm being played-but this is one hell of a long game if that is the case.
So I guess my question is - does he actually like me or what? I still live my life and do what I want to but how long should I continue to hold out hope for anything?