update on jealous Scorpio boyfriend

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by aquamila on Monday, November 30, 2015 and has 5 replies.
For those of you who have read and responded to my previous post, thank you all so much, you have really helped me to feel confident about myself and get my balls out to actually confront him. :* I have hid the post, because it was quite personal, and also, I think (and hope) a few things might have changed now.
After nearly two weeks of little to no communication, literally only interrupted by fights, I somehow ended up shutting down completely, out of frustration mostly, not even with a specific intention, probably just hoping for a miracle lol..
Anyway, yesterday he texted me and he actually seemed confused about my behavior, because I have literally never been so reserved to him. He made a few attempts to make me open up again (not the genuine way, the scorpio way i.e. reversed psychology, sending me old pictures of which he knows they will trigger emotions in me, and pretending he had just found them by coincidence). But I didn't fall for it. This time I really wanted him to think about what he says or does. I even pointed his obvious manipulation out to him and he still denied it. I was disappointed and we ended the conversation both frustrated. And here comes the miracle I was waiting for. The next day I made a step towards him and asked him to share his honest feelings with me, and tell me what goes through his head, and I'll do the same in return. It turned into a really long conversation, which bit by bit made both of us open up and he ended up making a very surprising and moving love confession to me. I too, couldn't stay cold any longer, and had to admit to myself how much I did actually miss him...
The interesting part of what he told and confessed to me, is that he actually did make some self-reflection during these days, and acknowledged his failure to manipulate me into loving him. His exact words were "I started this war. You won it. You're the queen now." Furthermore, he promised no manipulation, guilt trips, pressure, hints, attempts to control in the future. I was extremely surprised and impressed (although I'm not sure to what extent he can consciously avoid all those things, even if he genuinely wanted). He also reassured me of his willingness to work on his jealousy, though admitting that he doesn't know how. All doubts and mistrust aside, I am unbelievably relieved, and really really hope that he truly means what he said. I bless my aqua-ability to move on, without holding a grudge on him, and just look forward to his visit for christmas...
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Good for you..!!!

However, don't let your guard down.
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Words are meaningless until you see them reflected in actions. It's good he wants to change, but it's difficult, especially if he doesn't know how. Let him know you see him trying - if that does in fact happen. Make him realize that you're aware of his efforts so he feels like his attempts are worth it, no matter how little the changes are. But, just because he said all those nice things doesn't mean he should get any passes for inexcusable behavior. Keep him accountable and if things get bad again or nothing changes, you need to figure out where your line is drawn. Of course, I'm sure that's obvious. Good luck.
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Posted by Scenic
Words are meaningless.

Period! & Ditto!

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My first reaction was sceptical to be honest. But even words are a lot compared to the amount of effort and motivation to work on himself that I am used to from him. And promises are a big deal for him. Nonetheless, when he asked me for forgiveness for his behavior, I answered that there's no need to beg me for forgiveness, and told him to let actions speak. And really, it's something he needs to be doing for himself primarily, and not for me. I don't see it as a guaranty that things are gonna change, but it's definitely a step. And since before that he denied any kind of fault in his behavior (i.e. manipulating), admittance and apology from him are a big deal for me. Also, he said that all the threatening of breaking up have really been nothing more than threats, and that there is no way he could break up with me, that I mean everything to him...
Huge relief for me, for now, and I am just the more motivated to work on ourselves, and communication issues, jealousy, trust and the list goes on... But after all, we are two crazy strong-willed individuals, that are crazy in love with each other, still after everything we've been through, and if that doesn't make us a damn strong couple I don't know what is... :,(
Thank you all, you are wonderful!
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