templeofjaguar
@templeofjaguar
18 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 436 · Topics: 12
Vanishing Scorps after they put the L word out
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
appreciated. :-)
What sign are you?
Beetleguese is right on the money with this love. Hence why i asked your sign. We are emotional,some people say it but we want to feel ur words!!
haha @ s.o.b.
This is true in many instances with Scorps.... I know me however it may indeed apply to others.....We or (I) do not take the "L" word lightly....In many instances we may feel and know it however refrain from verbalizing it depending the circumstance of the relationship. Scorpios are not good with rejection. So....@ templeofjaguar....I would say it has much to do with your response to his profession of love for you. Should he have felt the feeling was not reciprocated in any way, the smallest clue, the smallest feeling of rejection or awkwardness....would send send him away sometimes for a short while depending on how deep his love for you....sometimes for good depending on the damage done both to his heart which is generally private and his ego which is generally not use to that type of reaction.....Should that have been your type of reaction at all? btw....What was your reaction to him...It would definitely help to know =)
I second with Beetle, ScorpioDreamer and JusMe. The *L* word is not to be taken lightly. I usually say it when it gets to a critical point. I say and disappear. If I don't get the response I expected, I am hurt and will retreat.
I'm a pisces. My reaction, at first, was "really"? "You love me"? I said I loved him too. I told him I could so easily fall in love with him but I'm afraid of getting hurt. He said "I know, and I don't want to hurt you, I really don't". I told him ok...lets' see where how it goes. He hugged me really tight and then we just went about the evening having fun and being together. I spent the night (which was great......he's a scorp..it ALWAYS IS !!) He really does know that I love him too. There's no doubt that he knows I love him too. If anything, I feel I'd have more doubt about his love because he didn't say he was "in love" with me....he said " he loved me deeply". Yet, I was upfront to tell him that I was afraid of getting hurt because I WAS feeling like I was falling in love with him already.
Girl i've been crushing on scorp for more than a 1 now and we JUST told one another that we actually like one another maybe 3 mths ago. In these 3 mths i've spent one whole day with him, we kissed on the lips once. i've sent cute lil text messages here and there some on holidays just to let him know im thinking of him and haven't forgotten him, i even sent him a text on his b-day i didnt wana go all out n overwhelm him. We haven't even been on a date yet...lol.go figure. But my honest opinion is not to waist your energy. Im sorry but im a libra and we crave space but lots of love and affection in a relationship at the same time. HENCE i mentioned the word SPACE in a relationship SPACE is scorpio's worst enemy, they tend to get suspicious and a lil wiery of you. See with my flighty attitude if he dissapears on me, i'd dissapear right back and mirror his actions. Not to hurt him, but to show him this is a "equal" partnership...when u move i move kinda thing (balancing of the scales, its a libra thang..lol). However this will hurt him. It was like my scorp professed his interest in me kissed me and said now you take it from there because im sensitive and scared...im like whatever! Shit im scared too fool! lol
My moon is in aries with a leo rising. His moon is in Pisces with Sag. rising. Do you need anything more then that?
He just turned 45. Never been married (neither have I) and neither have had children. When we're together it's awesome. He's even said that so many times how great and perfect we are together. I smile and agree and tell him how happy he makes me. So I was very receptive to him telling me he loved me I assure you and he knows I'm falling for him but admitting I'm scared. The vanishing thing......it just doesn't make sense.
When I'm with him he has me answer his cell phone often so I'm comfortable believing there is no one he's hiding from me. And I've seen his facebook posts and there's no one on there indicating another love interest. So ....I'm just baffled. I want everything to be "ok" so I'm starting to make excuses for him not calling (ie: he's really busy, blah,blah, blah) but the fact is he's not too busy to check email. So if you love someone why avoid them after you tell them you love them?
He just turned 45. Never been married (neither have I) and neither have had children. When we're together it's awesome. He's even said that so many times how great and perfect we are together. I smile and agree and tell him how happy he makes me. So I was very receptive to him telling me he loved me I assure you and he knows I'm falling for him but admitting I'm scared. The vanishing thing......it just doesn't make sense.
When I'm with him he has me answer his cell phone often so I'm comfortable believing there is no one he's hiding from me. And I've seen his facebook posts and there's no one on there indicating another love interest. So ....I'm just baffled. I want everything to be "ok" so I'm starting to make excuses for him not calling (ie: he's really busy, blah,blah, blah) but the fact is he's not too busy to check email. So if you love someone why avoid them after you tell them you love them?
And I DID tell him that I loved him too after he told me he loved me. BUT I told him I'm just so cautious about opening up my heart and falling so deeply in love with him because I didn't want to get hurt but I do love him very very much. THAT is when he responded with "I know, I don't want to hurt you either". Then he put my head in his hands and pulled me close and kissed me. We had a great evening and night after that. The next morning I left and it all seemed great. Now.........it's so weird.
I'm so hurt after telling him this is exactly what I was afraid of...(putting my heart out there and not wanting to get hurt)...and this is what I get. HURT ! WTF? Seriously, we often talked about how perfect we were for each other. He said being with me was the closest he's ever been to finding a soulmate. I told him I felt the same way. It's been a fairytale month of happiness for both of us.... until THIS. 😢
I'm so hurt after telling him this is exactly what I was afraid of...(putting my heart out there and not wanting to get hurt)...and this is what I get. HURT ! WTF? Seriously, we often talked about how perfect we were for each other. He said being with me was the closest he's ever been to finding a soulmate. I told him I felt the same way. It's been a fairytale month of happiness for both of us.... until THIS. 😢
I re-read what SCORPDREAMER wrote and he does know I'm in love with him. It was a very romantic moment under the full moon. If anything.....maybe I could be accused of being IN LOVE with him more then him "loving me". Maybe therein lies the clue. Him saying he doesn't want to hurt me because he only LOVES ME. He isn't "in love" with me. If that's the case then why break my heart by bothering to utter the L word at all? Why hurt someone you profess you don't want to hurt? Am I missing something here?
But thanks for all the feedback everyone. I'm processing the information as you all post your comments and suggestions and it is helping. I'm just not sure how to react to him if he ever does make contact again.
But thanks for all the feedback everyone. I'm processing the information as you all post your comments and suggestions and it is helping. I'm just not sure how to react to him if he ever does make contact again.
Thank you Caribeangold. That puts some light on a good possibility. I would have thought just telling him that I'm so easily could fall in love but I'm afraid and being cautious because I don't want to get hurt would have made him want to re-assure ME that falling "in love" with HIM would be ok.
Anyway to resolve this dilemma it with a scorpio or is it too late? To me, both of us have unintentionally hurt each other because we're both so sensitive about opening up and being vulnerable?
Anyway to resolve this dilemma it with a scorpio or is it too late? To me, both of us have unintentionally hurt each other because we're both so sensitive about opening up and being vulnerable?
OK, maybe you're right PINKLIBRA maybe I shouldn't mirror him now and ignore him back like you did with your Scorp. He won't like it if I did but I feel the way you did.... wanting to show him how it feels to be ignored. That's just my hurt feelings talking and wanting to show him how it feels in return.
The more time slips by the worse it feels for me and my hurt feelings are turning to resentment and eventually that will turn to anger soon. If he did eventually come around the distance he gave me now is slowly killing the love that was blooming for him. 😢
The more time slips by the worse it feels for me and my hurt feelings are turning to resentment and eventually that will turn to anger soon. If he did eventually come around the distance he gave me now is slowly killing the love that was blooming for him. 😢
Recently I had a Scorpio man tell me how much he cares for me. He didn't come out with the "L" word, but kinda blew me away. He than withdrew for 5 or 6 days. I got very random texts and I would text things back...but, we didn't talk at.all. I read the posts on this board about Scorpio men pullling away. I let him be. When he texted I would answer, but would not overwhelm him with texts or try to call. I wanted him to make the first move. Than out of the blue, he called me again. He was very loving. But a little stand offish. However I know he still has those feelings, I assume he is trying to process everything. I will be here.
I don't know what to do in your situation, but I would send a text saying "I am thinking about you" and thats it. Or a random joke. Something to let him know he was on my mind, but vague enough to want him to come to me. I can tell you being with a Scorpio is very different! I have never felt so cared for, confused, scared, happy, loved, perplexed, angry, excited, etc. in my entire dating history. (he is my first Scorpio). But it is thrilling.
I don't know what to do in your situation, but I would send a text saying "I am thinking about you" and thats it. Or a random joke. Something to let him know he was on my mind, but vague enough to want him to come to me. I can tell you being with a Scorpio is very different! I have never felt so cared for, confused, scared, happy, loved, perplexed, angry, excited, etc. in my entire dating history. (he is my first Scorpio). But it is thrilling.
temple -- was he tipsy when he stated his love for you?
I whole heartedly agree ITSME being with him is one of the best feelings I've ever had over any relationship I've ever been in before. When we are together it's like being in heaven. We compliment each other so well. When we're apart I don't usually mind a few days not hearing from him because I've got my own things going on. But I have sent him text correspondence here and there over the course of a week (the last day I sent a response was 3 days ago)still.....nothing ! I think I'd better ease off contacting him all together. It makes me feel like he doesn't want to be bothered by me so if he wants to be left alone...I'll leave him alone. I have no idea what's really going thru his head right now. I'm just hoping the scorpio board can shed some light on that area for me.
Does he WANT me to chase after him? Does he want me to leave him alone? I have no idea. I don't want to make it worse so I'm looking for some solid sensible advise on what to do next (or now).
Does he WANT me to chase after him? Does he want me to leave him alone? I have no idea. I don't want to make it worse so I'm looking for some solid sensible advise on what to do next (or now).
FUMred...yes he had been drinking a bit and I was his designated driver. Not sure how MUCH he'd been drinking but no denying it....he'd had a few. Are you suggesting he never meant what he said and now he regrets it? OUCH !! NOW I want to run and hide.
After a moment when my Scorpio withdrew and came back...I asked him why he did it and he told me he liked the chase. He liked "winning". I told him that it made me feel as though I wasn't important to fight for when he disappeared and didn't contact me. Now he makes an effort to call or text (even if its for 5 minutes or one text a day) but I always wait for him to intiate contact. So he feels like he is chasing and he lets me know I am important. Some days he doesn't contact me until late in the day (due to his work schedule) Other days its early in the day. Either way...I leave it up to him. I go about my day. Some days I will text him to not to contact me between certain hours because I have plans...bet your bottom dollar he is calling within a few minutes after I am done. Just to say "hi". I have noticed that the more rope I give him...the less he wants to use it. But it is there.
Recently with the no calls, just random texts was the hardest for me. But I did not push. I would text with a joke, or light hearted things when he texted. Nothing like "why won't you..." or "call me" or anything construed as nagging. (in his mind). I let him be. Nothing to question why he was doing what he was doing but instead just a reminder that I am here when he was ready. It worked. He is back. And I feel very cared for...*happy sigh*
Recently with the no calls, just random texts was the hardest for me. But I did not push. I would text with a joke, or light hearted things when he texted. Nothing like "why won't you..." or "call me" or anything construed as nagging. (in his mind). I let him be. Nothing to question why he was doing what he was doing but instead just a reminder that I am here when he was ready. It worked. He is back. And I feel very cared for...*happy sigh*
Good advise ITSME. I've never asked my Scorp things like "why won't you... or "call me" . None of that. Just sent text wishing a happy holiday. Letting him know I missed him and was thinking of him. Thanked him for his help and such in a personal email over Thanksgiving.
I guess let him "be" is the same thing as ignoring him. But if I'm the only one making the effort by sending him this random light hearted reminders then I feel like I'm the only one "IN" the relationship which also makes me feel like a fool for it and very unimportant indeed.
You didn't mention how long it took your scorp to come back and if your silence was toward him is what triggered his need to pursue you again and feel like he had to win you back. Is that what you meant?
I guess let him "be" is the same thing as ignoring him. But if I'm the only one making the effort by sending him this random light hearted reminders then I feel like I'm the only one "IN" the relationship which also makes me feel like a fool for it and very unimportant indeed.
You didn't mention how long it took your scorp to come back and if your silence was toward him is what triggered his need to pursue you again and feel like he had to win you back. Is that what you meant?
Ignoring him and Letting him be are two different things in my mind. Ignoring him is no contact. Letting him be is letting him take control of the relationship. I let him be...let him control how much we had contact. Within 5-6 days he was back. Yea those six days sucked for me. But I read so much about not pushing a Scorpio male that I kinda went about my own life. He came back on his own.
After one of his retreats I told him that this no contact thing was not okay if he wanted to keep me. (thats why he does the one text or call aday. Not enough to get any info, but enough to know he is still around) He likes to push boundries and see how far until I bend. When I get to a point that isn't tolerable, I push back. I guess letting him chase me is exciting to him...so I let him. But if something isn't acceptable, I won't be a pushover either. One thing he and I strive for is honesty. I do something he tells me, he does something he tells me. Yea it is hard to hear sometimes but otherise how am I going to know? How is he going to know?
After one of his retreats I told him that this no contact thing was not okay if he wanted to keep me. (thats why he does the one text or call aday. Not enough to get any info, but enough to know he is still around) He likes to push boundries and see how far until I bend. When I get to a point that isn't tolerable, I push back. I guess letting him chase me is exciting to him...so I let him. But if something isn't acceptable, I won't be a pushover either. One thing he and I strive for is honesty. I do something he tells me, he does something he tells me. Yea it is hard to hear sometimes but otherise how am I going to know? How is he going to know?
ok. I'll just get on with my life and if he does come back looking for me ...I'll try to suppress my disappointment with him and try to convey as calmly as I can (without the hurt emotion) that his lack of interest in me for a week made me feel unimportant and that some attention from him in some way would have alleviated those feelings I've experienced. Otherwise, I'd rather not be in a relationship that makes me feel bad or less then significant enough for him to show me he cares when we're not together.
Thank you so much for sharing how that worked out for you and the way you handled it.
Not sure if I'll end up with the same results. I can only wait for the time to pass until he does make contact. (if he does) and then put it out there. I am indeed prepared to walk away if he can't apologize and make amends after telling him how this has made me feel.
Thank you so much for sharing how that worked out for you and the way you handled it.
Not sure if I'll end up with the same results. I can only wait for the time to pass until he does make contact. (if he does) and then put it out there. I am indeed prepared to walk away if he can't apologize and make amends after telling him how this has made me feel.
My scorp told me 5 days b4 his birthday that he loved me and than hung up the phone on me. the next day he came over and we had a quickie. 3 days later he told me to f off and to stay the hell away from him or he would make my life miserable. it was a BIG and NASTY personal attack. i let him walk away because i read right through his game; he was hurt that i didnt tell him that i loved him back and he wanted me to hurt 2... I never told him that i loved him back or came out 100% with my feelings for him because my gut was telling me that he has secrets. he told me to f off and thats exactly what i did!!
days later he's trying to weasel his way back into my good graces. i would walk right pass him and not even acknowledge his presence. a week later i threw a birthday party and hes moping around with a sad face. he is not fooling anyone. hes good with playing the sad puppy dog face card. and that same night i found out what his secret was...
it was a dealbreaking secret. once i found out what that secret was, i havent spoken to him since. he can eat shyt and die.
days later he's trying to weasel his way back into my good graces. i would walk right pass him and not even acknowledge his presence. a week later i threw a birthday party and hes moping around with a sad face. he is not fooling anyone. hes good with playing the sad puppy dog face card. and that same night i found out what his secret was...
it was a dealbreaking secret. once i found out what that secret was, i havent spoken to him since. he can eat shyt and die.
OMG DMV that's horrible. I'm not sure what to think again after hearing your story. He knows I'm wrestling with my emotions and my fear of letting go of the walls I have up. So why can't be be more understanding about how I feel and help me through it and not just prove to me it's NOT a good idea opening my heart up to him as I feared?
If he's so let down with me then what kind of F'd up Scorpio love is that?? Why do my fears and concerns get no consideration when it comes to going to the next level in this relationship?
If he's so let down with me then what kind of F'd up Scorpio love is that?? Why do my fears and concerns get no consideration when it comes to going to the next level in this relationship?
I DID tell him I loved him. Several times after that initial romantic moment as a matter of fact. Even told him again as I kissed him good-bye the next morning. IDK...he said it but if he had been drinking would he have regretted saying and and want to take it back now that he's sobered up? IDK..I don't think so. He wasn't THAT buzzed.
Scorps...would you ever say you loved someone and not want to tell them that? For any reason? I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he meant it but why would he regret it if he said it when he did. (because he was buzzed? i don't think that's it) He was very strategic about stopping me and being romantic and pointing out the rare blue moon to tell me that he loved me. So the cold shoulder and the silent treatment are really unnecessary but yet.........there they are. It was a very sweet moment between us. I said I loved him too but added that I'm so afraid of falling in love with him because I didn't want to get hurt. That's when he grabbed my face and told me he knew that and didn't want to hurt me. Then he kissed me. Now...he's made himself a ghost to me.
Scorps...would you ever say you loved someone and not want to tell them that? For any reason? I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he meant it but why would he regret it if he said it when he did. (because he was buzzed? i don't think that's it) He was very strategic about stopping me and being romantic and pointing out the rare blue moon to tell me that he loved me. So the cold shoulder and the silent treatment are really unnecessary but yet.........there they are. It was a very sweet moment between us. I said I loved him too but added that I'm so afraid of falling in love with him because I didn't want to get hurt. That's when he grabbed my face and told me he knew that and didn't want to hurt me. Then he kissed me. Now...he's made himself a ghost to me.
Posted by templeofjaguar
OMG DMV that's horrible. I'm not sure what to think again after hearing your story. He knows I'm wrestling with my emotions and my fear of letting go of the walls I have up. So why can't be be more understanding about how I feel and help me through it and not just prove to me it's NOT a good idea opening my heart up to him as I feared?
If he's so let down with me then what kind of F'd up Scorpio love is that?? Why do my fears and concerns get no consideration when it comes to going to the next level in this relationship?
I have a venus in Capricorn so i am slow to release any deep emotions unless ive determined that th eother person is a good investment. my moon in scorpio seemed to always call BS when he would make huge displays of affection.
he is wanting to get to the bare essence of your soul. your ambivalent because hes hitting buttons you never know you had. so its uncomfortable for you to be THAT open, emotionally.
why is it not a good idea to open up to him? i have a valid reason..so whats holding you back?
Posted by templeofjaguar
I DID tell him I loved him. Several times after that initial romantic moment as a matter of fact. Even told him again as I kissed him good-bye the next morning. IDK...he said it but if he had been drinking would he have regretted saying and and want to take it back now that he's sobered up? IDK..I don't think so. He wasn't THAT buzzed.
Scorps...would you ever say you loved someone and not want to tell them that? For any reason? I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he meant it but why would he regret it if he said it when he did. (because he was buzzed? i don't think that's it) He was very strategic about stopping me and being romantic and pointing out the rare blue moon to tell me that he loved me. So the cold shoulder and the silent treatment are really unnecessary but yet.........there they are. It was a very sweet moment between us. I said I loved him too but added that I'm so afraid of falling in love with him because I didn't want to get hurt. That's when he grabbed my face and told me he knew that and didn't want to hurt me. Then he kissed me. Now...he's made himself a ghost to me.
yeah scorpios drink, so what....if he said it, he meant it. he needs time to come to grips with what he said and your reaction. just give him time. is he loves you, his feelings arent going to go away that quickly....give him time. how hard did he grab your face?
Ms Jaguar,
I think you will find this link very helpful to you in understanding scorpio silence:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/005824-2.html<BR>
hang in there,,,he loves you!
I think you will find this link very helpful to you in understanding scorpio silence:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/005824-2.html<BR>
hang in there,,,he loves you!
Thank you DMV and LadyLEO. The link is very helpful thank you so much. And DMV...about the way he grabbed my face...he grabbed it firmly with both hands, looked straight into my eyes, smiled, and said " I do love you". But he said it in a way that was with the kind of tone and expression you'd give to someone who had doubt. Like...he knew I might not believe him. So when I first reacted (enthusiastically) with the "really?" I meant it and said it with a delighted thrill in my voice.
But reading the link LadyLEO provided is soothing my anxiety about accepting that this may just be typical scorp behavior afterall and what's normal for him to go off and be distant is just emotional shock for me. It's just so abrupt and inappropriate under the circumstances. It's really hurtful and if he's looking to get the kind of love he wants out of me.....THIS WAS THE WORST way he could have chosen to go about doing it.
But reading the link LadyLEO provided is soothing my anxiety about accepting that this may just be typical scorp behavior afterall and what's normal for him to go off and be distant is just emotional shock for me. It's just so abrupt and inappropriate under the circumstances. It's really hurtful and if he's looking to get the kind of love he wants out of me.....THIS WAS THE WORST way he could have chosen to go about doing it.
i posted a blog "lets get physcial" take a look...HE MEANS WHAT HE SAYS..trust and believe..
i suggest getting a hobby or something to occupy your time..
i suggest getting a hobby or something to occupy your time..
OK. I've made this weeks schedule so insanely busy I'll be pleasantly exhausted by the end of the week. :-) I feel better that you've all re-assured me that he meant it when he said it and that in spite of his distancing that it had value. I'll give it some more time and see what happens. Maybe......absence IS making his heart grow fonder and he'll miss me and come looking for me.
I'll remember what you all said about showing a more receptive enthusiasm when he does. (just to let him know I'm happy he's back) I don't want him to disappear again because I wasn't open to showing how I really feel inside.
I couldn't find the blog "let's get physical" got a link?
I'll remember what you all said about showing a more receptive enthusiasm when he does. (just to let him know I'm happy he's back) I don't want him to disappear again because I wasn't open to showing how I really feel inside.
I couldn't find the blog "let's get physical" got a link?
OH DMV... in regards to what's holding me back? It's only been just over a month we've been dating and I want more time to KNOW in MY HEART that this guy I just started to get to know is the real deal. I was in another relationship once before that started out with both of us falling very quickly but after a month HIS EX GF came back around and he broke it off with me and went back with her. I moved on. A month after we broke up and they re-united......they broke up too. So he got what he deserved but now I'm jaded from it and reluctant about just giving my heart out to someone 100% until after I've had more time to allow myself to trust I'm not going to find some hidden EX somewhere or some secret deal breaker like you did. 45 days isn't really all that long to just say you know 100% this guy is THEE one yet. I'll get there...I just need more time.
Posted by templeofjaguar
OK. I've made this weeks schedule so insanely busy I'll be pleasantly exhausted by the end of the week. :-) I feel better that you've all re-assured me that he meant it when he said it and that in spite of his distancing that it had value. I'll give it some more time and see what happens. Maybe......absence IS making his heart grow fonder and he'll miss me and come looking for me.
I'll remember what you all said about showing a more receptive enthusiasm when he does. (just to let him know I'm happy he's back) I don't want him to disappear again because I wasn't open to showing how I really feel inside.
I couldn't find the blog "let's get physical" got a link?
Posted by templeofjaguar
I'll remember what you all said about showing a more receptive enthusiasm when he does. (just to let him know I'm happy he's back) I don't want him to disappear again because I wasn't open to showing how I really feel inside.
I couldn't find the blog "let's get physical" got a link?
Please remember that just because he is scorpio, who retreats and goes silent, that this behavior is acceptable. Do not use it as permissions to excuse his behavior. You need to show him you command respect, the first place to do it is with yourself.
Show him how much you respect yourself by saying that although you DO love him, this kind of abandonment is not ok. Then have your actions match your words. Just dont be a doormat because he will use this like a bat over your head over and over.
I really hope it works out for you!!!
You are right. Thank you so much for your advise. I'll repost the results , if and when he ever resurfaces. I will DEF. use your suggestion in telling him it's not acceptable to me. Thank you again. GREAT ADVISE!!
I guess I got my scorpio at the right time. I never went through the "silences" or disappearing acts. He was full speed ahead from day one and has not diverted since.
The only thing I can think of is what BG and a few others said about what your reaction was when he said it. I am realizing that a scorpio is SUPER sensitive. OMG. (not to be taken negatively, just be aware).
Maybe the only one more sensitive is Cancer (as far as showing it) if you know what I mean.
You really have to PAY ATTENTION TO them, TofJag. Just like they do to you. Get the signals, right. They only open up for a moment, like the blink of an eye, and if you miss it, you WILL miss it as it may take a long time for that moment to happen again. I know. I know. It sounds so fragile loving a scorpio, like having to use the precision of a surgeon to get thing "just right". But from my experience, to be successful with them, it's the way it is.
The only thing I can think of is what BG and a few others said about what your reaction was when he said it. I am realizing that a scorpio is SUPER sensitive. OMG. (not to be taken negatively, just be aware).
Maybe the only one more sensitive is Cancer (as far as showing it) if you know what I mean.
You really have to PAY ATTENTION TO them, TofJag. Just like they do to you. Get the signals, right. They only open up for a moment, like the blink of an eye, and if you miss it, you WILL miss it as it may take a long time for that moment to happen again. I know. I know. It sounds so fragile loving a scorpio, like having to use the precision of a surgeon to get thing "just right". But from my experience, to be successful with them, it's the way it is.
It's like their proverbial "sting", it hits you and you don't know what happened right away -- just that you were affected -- and then you have to wander back down the rabbit path to find out what you may have missed in order to understand what happened.
Posted by templeofjaguar
You are right. Thank you so much for your advise. I'll repost the results , if and when he ever resurfaces. I will DEF. use your suggestion in telling him it's not acceptable to me. Thank you again. GREAT ADVISE!!
Speak softly, but firmly.
Posted by QuietSt0rmPosted by templeofjaguar
I'm a pisces. My reaction, at first, was "really"? "You love me"? I said I loved him too. I told him I could so easily fall in love with him but I'm afraid of getting hurt. He said "I know, and I don't want to hurt you, I really don't". I told him ok...lets' see where how it goes.
If he said "I don't wanna hurt you, I really don't.." it doesn't sound like he's doubting your love at all. Maybe it's just moving too fast for him. We can be impulsive and say or do things without thinking. He probably told you he loved you then felt vulnerable for saying it so soon.click to expand
"I could so easily fall in love with him but I'm afraid of getting hurt" "let's see where this goes..."
I agree with QuietStorm --
He doesn't want to hurt you, but he may unintentionally...just as you will him. Sometimes we should remain silent and bask in the moment. No negativity or bringing up the past. Just look forward. New man, new journey.
I know, it's easier said than done. I've been there, too. I'm still growing...
I've only read the first two pages properly and skimmed the rest but one thing that kept standing out to me is you saying you feel you may love him more than he loves you...or something along those lines. That could be your reason right there. I don't know if anyone else did this as kids but it's kind of like having the "my dad is cooler than yours" and then the other person insisting theirs is actually cooler because *insert fake profession, strength or whatever here*...and it goes on and on until one persons dad is superman and the others is spider man.. Anyway..saying you feel (or it seems like) you love him more, or whatever, is kind of like playing the 'my dad is cooler' game; that's how I would feel anyway.
I've only ever told one person I loved them. I didn't tell them I was in love because I didn't feel I was but the love I DID feel was absolutely overwhelming! If I felt their 'energy' shift, so to speak, and could tell there was an unequal or unbalanced feeling...I would disappear and make death eyes at my bedroom wall. It would feel like my love wasn't taken seriously or was under-valued.
I could be absolutely wrong in what I'm thinking here but I just wanted to point it out. I realise not everyone believes in the things I do and I don't want to push it on people...I feel it could be a possibility though.
Also I'm not blaming you with what I've said; just trying to show how peoples energy exchange can sometimes affect others.
Gosh I bet I sound like a crazy person right now!! haha 😛
I've only ever told one person I loved them. I didn't tell them I was in love because I didn't feel I was but the love I DID feel was absolutely overwhelming! If I felt their 'energy' shift, so to speak, and could tell there was an unequal or unbalanced feeling...I would disappear and make death eyes at my bedroom wall. It would feel like my love wasn't taken seriously or was under-valued.
I could be absolutely wrong in what I'm thinking here but I just wanted to point it out. I realise not everyone believes in the things I do and I don't want to push it on people...I feel it could be a possibility though.
Also I'm not blaming you with what I've said; just trying to show how peoples energy exchange can sometimes affect others.
Gosh I bet I sound like a crazy person right now!! haha 😛
TypicalScorp there's a lot of validity to what you said and there could have been a serious shift in the energy that night but it was more UP and WOW then anything negative.:-) But having pointed it out I'm certainly going to be more attentive to how I project things and in the words I say and what words that might have fallen out of my mouth that shouldn't. Like Pathfinder said " Sometimes we should just remain silent and bask in the moment" no negativity.
OK, here's the UPDATE: He finally called me today but My phone was on the charger and it went to voicemail. I missed his call by several hours now before I noticed he called. I tried calling him back and ....well...we've been playing phone tag .
When we finally did connect he went on and on about how much he missed me and I teased him and said that he couldn't have missed me too much since a week had gone by and I hadn't heard from him. He apologized and said he knows but proceeded to list all the things he had been doing and he said he thought he'd give ME some space and then we'd catch up after the weekend. I told him that I appreciate that he's so industrious but whatever made him think that "I" needed some space? He said he didn't know (I could here the nervousness in his voice. He knew it wasn't the right thing to say.)
I told him I'd let him know when I need space but that not hearing from him for a week made me feel unimportant and insignificant to him and before I could finish my sentence he was stuttering saying "No, no, no...don't ever think that". .
I did make it clear that no matter how busy he "thinks" he is...just sending 2 letters from the alphabet (ie: hi ) is enough to let me know he's thinking of me and that he cares. He agreed.
So I am happy with the way things turned out. Actually more then happy because before we got off the phone he wanted to make sure I was spending xmas and New Years with him and a few date nights before that when he's not working. His work load is double during holiday season and we live an hour apart.Therefore, him making plans in advance to include me meant a lot.
I just wanted to say Thank you so much to everyone for helping make sense of this and for all your input. It not only helped me in the moment but it gave me some great advise to use for the future. I love my Scorpio! And I love everyone on the Scorpio board for their input, advise, and comments. THANK YOU !!!!
When we finally did connect he went on and on about how much he missed me and I teased him and said that he couldn't have missed me too much since a week had gone by and I hadn't heard from him. He apologized and said he knows but proceeded to list all the things he had been doing and he said he thought he'd give ME some space and then we'd catch up after the weekend. I told him that I appreciate that he's so industrious but whatever made him think that "I" needed some space? He said he didn't know (I could here the nervousness in his voice. He knew it wasn't the right thing to say.)
I told him I'd let him know when I need space but that not hearing from him for a week made me feel unimportant and insignificant to him and before I could finish my sentence he was stuttering saying "No, no, no...don't ever think that". .
I did make it clear that no matter how busy he "thinks" he is...just sending 2 letters from the alphabet (ie: hi ) is enough to let me know he's thinking of me and that he cares. He agreed.
So I am happy with the way things turned out. Actually more then happy because before we got off the phone he wanted to make sure I was spending xmas and New Years with him and a few date nights before that when he's not working. His work load is double during holiday season and we live an hour apart.Therefore, him making plans in advance to include me meant a lot.
I just wanted to say Thank you so much to everyone for helping make sense of this and for all your input. It not only helped me in the moment but it gave me some great advise to use for the future. I love my Scorpio! And I love everyone on the Scorpio board for their input, advise, and comments. THANK YOU !!!!
OH, and one more thing....I told him I loved him at the end of the phone call and .......he said it back! You were right about how deeply scorpios love. Even his voice got softer when he said it ! We'll see how things progress over the next few weeks if he gets forgetful again or not. (I doubt it but ya never know)
Here ya go....
^^^ for you and your scorp. Get the love you deserve, woman!!!
YAY! Glad it worked out.
yay!
Congrats to you both!
Nice to have a happy ending 🙂
Nice to have a happy ending 🙂
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Scorpio: 23 October - 22 November Intense, powerful and passionate about things - that's the Scorpio approach to life
I'm going through my saturn return (in scorpio) and have had some pretty heavy betrayal issues come up. I was severely
What should we discuss today?? Men Money Friends Happiness Heartache..........chose a topic and let the discussion
1)The emotional retard 2)Cheapskates 3)Flirts 4)Show offs 5)Liars 6)Bad breath 7)Bad company 8)No ambition 9)Ex
Some of you posted in my other thread Scorpio gone silent that the I should not have emailed him telling him about the
What is a Scorpio in love.... What does a Scorpio do when in love... How does a Scorpio live through its emotions...
Hi guys, I need some help.. i dont know if im being overly paranoid and I read much stuff about Scorpio. I was in
long time.... how are you sam! oh yea.....hey scorpio's!!! what the hell is up? beside having sex :P I al
Scorpios and Friends. So I have been having this discussion with Scorpio about being friends and taking it slow. I am
its a very long story... i cant tell if he really does care about me... or is just manipulating me into getting somet
Smile? Random people often feel it necessary to tell me to smile and I find it really annoying. I don't walk around with
I confronted the 50 year old Scorpio Im into with a lie he told, and boy did he sting the shit out of me. Although he we
What are they attracted to in the first meeting? I've attracted a lot of Scorpios in my life men and women, and I still
I'm an Aries and my Scorpio girlfriend just broke up. Not an easy relationship as you can tell. She felt we couldn't und
.......and it ended badly to say the least! I'm happy though, I did the right thing in finishing it his game-playing wa
I've heard that Scorpios are relationship type of creatures. Sure, they're always down for a few quick flings or maybe e
Scorpions get stuck, and I want to know why. stupid bugs
how would a nice scorpio act when they don't like someone around?
The Crabs did it and I want to do it too... The bemused behemoth Scorpio/Ox A whiz kid with a crazy streak is
Do Scorpio—s ever take risks? To tell you truthfully I am not too sure about this. For one, I am a Scorpio. I rejoice
I've had my Scorpio BF, (dating just over a month), recently tell me he loved me (in person 5 days ago). and now that he's said the words....he's gone completely silent with me. I haven't seen or heard from him since the night he said he loved me. I have since then sent him a brief email thanking him for things he'd done in the past that I appreciated over the Thanksgiving holiday and no response.
A Text Message on Thanksgiving Day wishing him a good day. Again no response. A phone call the day after and he didn't answer. I didn't bother leaving a message because it's apparent he's not going to return the call although he'll have seen my "missed call" on his caller ID
Is this normal Scorpio behavior? Because it's making me feel uncomfortable and I'm ready to dump him for being so cold and distant with me for so long. This doesn't feel like LOVE to me. Why the silent treatment?
I read someones comment in another thread, that stated once Scorpios admit their true feelings, it's normal for them to become distant immediately after wards. But for an entire week? It just seems weird to me to declare your love to someone and then not respond or acknowledge them for a several days running that turns into a weeks time and counting. From my standpoint if you love someone......you can't not want to hear from them for more then a day or so. So is this a normal scorpio retreat for putting his feelings out there and now feeling "vulnerable"? He said he loved me. I said it back. He Didn't say he was "in love" with me. Is there a difference with Scorpios? Because I've read when they love....it's deep. So would it be the same as being "in love" in their emotional sense regardless of how they said it?
I've seen he's been on line since he uttered the "L" word to me yet...he's not made contact with me and has become strangely silent. Any reasons you can speculate as to why? I'm now annoyed to the point that if he does eventually call I'd not answer because my annoyance would get the better part of the conversation. But I do want to tell him how it made me feel when I get this sorted out. Is this some kind of test? I'm really confused as to how he can have time to go on line but has no time to contact me or respond after not seeing or communicating for a week after telling me he loved me. Any advise would be a