Venus in Libra Scorp Man Vacillates. What to do?

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by Scorpvenus on Saturday, March 9, 2013 and has 24 replies.
oh my word. i have venus in libra too and you described me in a 'relationship' to a tee. the word vacillates is just perfect (and now my word of the week).
the 'mind game' of him telling you to go out and seek other men is cos he doesn't feel capable of giving you what you need emotionally. i dunno...it always scares the shit out of me when someone says something intense about how they feel about me and mostly cos i imagine there's an expectation of me feeling the same about them and on the whole, i don't really FEEL very much.....or i do but they are so transient sometimes as to be non-existent.
i've also got merc in scorpio like him and communication on an emotional level is nigh on impossible. i come out in hives just thinking about it lol!!
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MY Gawd... My Scorp has a Venus in Libra too...Merc in Scorp & Gemini moon..
It can get SOOO confusing. ONE day he is ON it..direct with his emotions, declaring is love one minuet..& the next he pulls back and examines it all..wondering if its REALLY safe to stay. Leaving me to feel like I hopped down the Rabbit hole.. never knowing when I'll hit the bottom but PRAY he'll be down there to break my fall.
This is probably why I haven't given 100% of myself. I have a major part of myself GUARDED bcuz of that huge unsettling feeling of uncertainty and unpredictability due to his "VASCILLATION."
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LOL!!! YESSS ELLESSQUE YEEEES!!!!!
Once you hop in...there is NOOO Turning back!!!
He BETTER be at the Bottom!
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Posted by tiziani
I really love Scorpio women's tenacity, in all sincerity. But this is too far.
I won't list the obvious as to why he behaves the way you do (I'm sure there will be enough people coming in here - mainly women - abusing you for putting up with what you have).
All I'll say is you can't love someone into loving you.
More than that, you can't love someone you don't know. He hasn't shared himself as a person with you. You love an image and a fantasy of him, for the most part. If you're happy with that, I won't knock you for it. Everyone has their own journey to take and their lessons to learn in their own time.
Finally, I'm sure the "dark and mysterious" type is very appealing to women in terms of taking up the challenge to "uncover a mystery" and his deep dark secrets. That somehow the pattern will change in time. Here's the truth - it doesn't. It will always be this way. The way a relationship begins is the way it ends. When you get tired of the mystery, you will get tired of him. But I suppose you're not there yet.

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^^^ Thank you for acknowledging scorpio women's tenacity,feels goodsmile
I had created this thread to gain insights into my scorp's behavior so I wouldn't have bothered reading posts which would have deviated from the topic(or abused me for that matter).
"You can't love someone into loving you" is a lovely line indeed.Thanks for sharing it.
I know him well enough and we started going out because he is an extremely sensitive and giving person, senses my needs and takes care of everything without me having to say anything and stood by me through ups and downs.There was/is no mysterious side(except for the vacillationsmile.
Thank you for responding to my post and giving your inputs,appreciate it.
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Posted by LonelyVirgo
Damn! my guy is also venus in libra! his emotions are all over the place. I still.love him even tho his mind is all mush! I wish I could answer your questions, even I am stumped with mine! but imo, kick his ass with the stilletos hun!

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<"`dbk`e.
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^^^ We can target the balls when our Scorps return....one kick for each time they acted like a pendulum,wavering between extremes.Wat say lonely virgo?smile
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Posted by ellessque


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^^This picture is worth a thousand vacillationssmileTongue
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Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
oh my word. i have venus in libra too and you described me in a 'relationship' to a tee. the word vacillates is just perfect (and now my word of the week).
the 'mind game' of him telling you to go out and seek other men is cos he doesn't feel capable of giving you what you need emotionally. i dunno...it always scares the shit out of me when someone says something intense about how they feel about me and mostly cos i imagine there's an expectation of me feeling the same about them and on the whole, i don't really FEEL very much.....or i do but they are so transient sometimes as to be non-existent.
i've also got merc in scorpio like him and communication on an emotional level is nigh on impossible. i come out in hives just thinking about it lol!!


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^^^ Thanks for responding to my post Rigor,appreciate it.
I feel incredibly enlightened having read your inputs which are bang on target correct.
Since communication on an emotional level results in a shutdown or darting,is there any other way to communicate?
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@ Pothead-You toosmile.Thanks for responding,appreciate it.
@Seraph-I have other 'ammunition' toosmile
Shall be brought out as and when needed:p
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Leeb Venus...pretty much we will always be trying to balance out friendship with being lovers. Add Scorp intensity and its pretty much a powder keg of DEEP emotions followed up by trying to balance that out with rational thought and balance. Its not easy. :/
On the other hand, what you will get--if you choose to accept the mission-- is a charming lover who can be your friend, give you freedom but still possess you and give you security. this takes time. lol

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^^^Hit the bulls eye!!!
Being a scorp woman,I adore my independence and don't really like it when a man tells me 'I own you'.I am my own person and will be with someone of my own free will.Nobody can 'own' me.
This scorp with venus in libra made me feel loved,can sensed what i need before I even said it,was supportive and kind which made me give myself to him.So he does possess me and I don't resent itsmile.
Thanks a ton IntriguedScorp and Elle,appreciate your help loads!!!
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@ Taurus Bell-I am fixed when I make up my mind as well so can completely understand what you mean by 'Loose'.Can't do much about it other than being patient and standing our ground I suppose.
And yes,VIL's are smooth talker,can make you feel like a greek godess when in 'I am in a mood to love' modesmile
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Posted by Scorpvenus
^^^ Thanks for responding to my post Rigor,appreciate it.
I feel incredibly enlightened having read your inputs which are bang on target correct.
Since communication on an emotional level results in a shutdown or darting,is there any other way to communicate?


communicate through sex. he might not say much if anything but if there are 'feelings' for a person we're having sex with, they know about it.
if they're good at reading eye language lol!
i'm glad my inputs have been spot on...i felt all smug when i read that Big Grin
(it rarely happens)
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Posted by Scorpvenus
^^^Hit the bulls eye!!!
Being a scorp woman,I adore my independence and don't really like it when a man tells me 'I own you'.I am my own person and will be with someone of my own free will.Nobody can 'own' me.




Amen sister.
click to expand


double amen....raise you an allelujah!
i sometimes wonder if i like my independence too much for there to be room for another. i like my own space too and i don't think i'll be living with a man for quite a while having lived on my own (with the kids) for over 5 years now. the trouble is though.....men don't get it....do you find that? they confuse you wanting your own space with NOT wanting to see THEM and also it sometimes arouses suspicious minds? the crab (scorp moon...eeek alors)said he kept having a dream in which he came to my apartment after not seeing me for a day or so and i'd moved out...lock, stock and barrel LOL!!
do you also find that sometimes this behaviour or ours leads men to believe they like us more than they actually do? you know how sometimes the more challenging someone is to you, the more you want them?
and reading that back i realise my intonation is going up at the end of every sentence? you know in that really irritating way? like seriously? fuckity fuck...i'm turning into an airhead.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Posted by Scorpvenus
^^^Hit the bulls eye!!!
Being a scorp woman,I adore my independence and don't really like it when a man tells me 'I own you'.I am my own person and will be with someone of my own free will.Nobody can 'own' me.




Amen sister.
click to expand


Thanks Intrigued,the validation feels goodsmile
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Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
Posted by Scorpvenus
^^^ Thanks for responding to my post Rigor,appreciate it.
I feel incredibly enlightened having read your inputs which are bang on target correct.
Since communication on an emotional level results in a shutdown or darting,is there any other way to communicate?


communicate through sex. he might not say much if anything but if there are 'feelings' for a person we're having sex with, they know about it.
if they're good at reading eye language lol!
i'm glad my inputs have been spot on...i felt all smug when i read that Big Grin
(it rarely happens)
click to expand


Thanks rigor,you needn't stop at feeling smug....i am gifting you free tickets to cloud 9 for all the help.Enjoysmile

A scorp can't hide his feelings when he is intimate and looks like melted ice cream there after so you're, right they do communicate that way.
Thanks for validating my independence,feels goodsmile
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Posted by LonelyVirgo
Posted by Scorpvenus
^^^ We can target the balls when our Scorps return....one kick for each time they acted like a pendulum,wavering between extremes.Wat say lonely virgo?smile


I like that idea! smile
click to expand


Give me a date and time and I shall be there for the session Tongue
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Posted by LonelyVirgo
how are things working out for you guys now? my venus is leo and his is libra. i really never knew much about the other signs so i have no clue how a leo venus is supposed to mesh with a libra. but if they are anything like the sun signs, an


For the most part we are VERY agreeable..the KEY is having the Sun/Moon Conjuntion..Since his SUN is Scorpio & I'm a Taurus with a Scorp MOON, its damn near a marriage already because the understanding is just THERE. I get him and he gets me. His Moon is in Gemini,He's a thinker, he stimulates my mind on many levels, while my rising & Mercury is in Gemini, So we TALK and TALK..about so many things.
As for your relatives, who that are a Taurus/Scorpio combo that are always disagreeing..
CHECK their Sun/Moon for conjunctions. AND check their Mercuries(for Communication) & Mars (Their drive, sexuality, & aggression) If they SQUARE then of course there'd be a problem.
Both my Scorp & my MARS are in Libra, so fights are few and far in between & brief. We seek PEACE as a whole.
But since he's a Scorp..drama does come from his end (either from minor insecurities, or round about ways of seeking my reassurance). But I'm always ready to squash the nonsense.
Think about an engaging game of ping-pong..MY Scorp "serves" while I QUICKLY return the ball his way, Keeping the ball "off the floor" & relationship intact...it takes TWO to play the game.

(SORRY for all the hides, made some corrections...WE NEED AN EDIT BUTTON!!!!)
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Well, I always follow 1 rule, If a person doesn't respond back in 2 weeks to your calls or text, then I am done with him.
I have learnt it the hard way. Scorpios will never ignore someone unless they really want to do so. So if its more than 2 to 3 weeks, i would suggest just give up and start seeing other men. He is not worth it if he doesn't value your feelings. No one is worth it if they do not value their feelings.
I too am trying to figure out a scorpio & i have seen him change from over enthusiastic to not to in a matter of weeks.
I know as scorpio's if we like someone we really like them and want to be with them & we do take time to move on. I do as well. But I feel its better to move on than break you head on someone who does't respond.
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Posted by SweetScorp13
Well, I always follow 1 rule, If a person doesn't respond back in 2 weeks to your calls or text, then I am done with him.
I have learnt it the hard way. Scorpios will never ignore someone unless they really want to do so. So if its more than 2 to 3 weeks, i would suggest just give up and start seeing other men. He is not worth it if he doesn't value your feelings. No one is worth it if they do not value their feelings.
I too am trying to figure out a scorpio & i have seen him change from over enthusiastic to not to in a matter of weeks.
I know as scorpio's if we like someone we really like them and want to be with them & we do take time to move on. I do as well. But I feel its better to move on than break you head on someone who does't respond.


Thanks for responding to my post Sweetscorp13.
Staying or leaving is a matter of personal choice and depends on multiple factors,at least for me.
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