scorpascendant
@scorpascendant
16 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 38 · Topics: 3
Very sad :(
Posted by snow_child
Yes, BUT - you are not done, it seems. 🙂 Yes, I know it's a hard situation but everything does work out for the best in these matters. However i will advice you to move on with your life. I??ve experienced something similar, and from what I??ve seen scorpios are not found of LDR:s.
Thank you for your respond.
Yes. I'm definitely not done. It hurts. That's the reason I contemplate to cut him off for good in order to recover. For example, we had the habit of exchanging emails at 3 am (both problems with insomnia) or other wired hours/places just to let the other one know we think and care. He gave me impression he would like to keep it same way. As a "friends" though. But I don't do that with "regular friends". I'm scared I will never recover in that way.
Of course I want him back. Every part of me. But being both not that young we know that sometimes roads split... and love doesn't concur everything. Sad.
Posted by starsapphire91
if he still has a strong emotional connection with you, then in his mind, it's not over. whether or not he acts on these feelings, is entirely up to him. considering the situation, he might just show up and try to fix things, that you have to leave up to destiny. don't torture yourself with fantasies of what might have been, just accept that this is what happened, and leave yourself open to any possibilities.
that being said, this doesn't mean you should forget your feelings. deal with them as you need to, but just don't let them get the better of you. this IS a sad situation, so no one is blaming you for feeling sad.
on the "staying friends" note, this is something YOU have to deal with. personally, i wouldn't be able to stay freinds with this person, not only would it be way too damn painful, but if we started out as friends, after the fire our friendship would never be the same. so for me, that wouldn't be an option, especially if i were in the exact situation you are in.
all in all, i hope you get though this okay, my heart goes out to you, this is a pretty sad ending. but we always have to get back up, brush ourselves off, and get back in the game! 😉 i hope i've helped!
You helped TRAMENDOUSLY ! Thank you. I write here because in some way it helps to ease the pain. To hear people went through similar things and are still alive and happy. Personally I have never be able to be close friends with my exes (not that many of them). But endings were different - usually on the unpleasant side and not planned (not only my fault). This situation is different. We both knew this is going to happen and it will hurt. There was a lot of care, maturity and gentleness in the ending. That's the reason I don't want to hurt his feelings but abrupt cutting him off my life (mailbox, phone etc). Because he paid a lot of attention to cut down my pain to minimum.
I'm Aqua, scorp rising.
I have to confess one thing. This was the third SIGNIFICANT relationship in my life. And the third one with Scorpio male, so obviously the past experiences play some role here. The first time (many years ago) - we had casual dating with my first Scorpio and the last day (similar pattern, we were moving to colleges in the opposite parts of the country) I told him about my deep feelings for him. He said nothing. We moved. No contact (I mean completely zero) for 3 full years. Then suddenly I got a letter from him which says he wants to be with me, marry me, have kids etc. We were together for 2 years until things broke up (mostly my fault, have to admit).
I say this because obviously it influences my thinking and I'm not sure how to get rid of this hope. Hope, that one day he will come back. And if there is still hope, there is no closure. That's what I have learned.
Posted by starsapphire91
HE is the one who left you. there is a good chance that this relationship wouldn't have been healthy for you in the long run, god does work in mysterious ways. just cry all you need to, but don't live in the past either.
Again, thank you for your words. See, I have to be honest, it's not that clear this is his fault and he left me. I would call it just bad timing. He signed the contract for a new job before we even met. There was no way to break it. My contract here expires in 2 years. Just life I would say. And bad timing. We didn't even discuss the option of long term relationship, only friendship. Probably because we are both old enough to know that most of the time it just doesn't work. And friendship is a safe word - you meet someone, change your mind, etc. no regrets, we were just friends.
Of course that was mostly him, as a woman I will always want certain commitment (I don't want to generalize here, but I don't do —friends with benefits?? thing myself).
Posted by snow_child
The situation seems a bit unresolved. I don't really understand if you are sure that he just wants to be friends. Maybe he too wants to continue the relationship. In that case I think you should give him a hint that you still want to be in a romantic relationship and not his firend. If he ignores this or declines, then you know that he doesn't care for you as much as you for him. Then you can really move on, instead of going on like this feeling sad and confused.
Two years isn't a long time when you are older and more mature and when you can imagine spending ther rest of your entire life with that person.
Lol @ that scorpio that sent you a letter after three years...
He said before he left " I'm attracted to you but we both know we can be only friends in this scenario. You can count on me with everything because I'm your friend".
So situation seems to be clear cut - I'm much more involved in this relation then him. You are very right. It's just a grief process taking here and asking for support. It hurts a lot.
It's much easier to let go when something bad happened, when you clash and break up is needed but when all is well on both sides but circumstances keep you apart. It's hard as hell to let go. You're looking at the person going, there is really nothing wrong with you and you know the way you feel about that person is good. So why is it not happening?
Posted by Rays Heart
It's much easier to let go when something bad happened, when you clash and break up is needed but when all is well on both sides but circumstances keep you apart. It's hard as hell to let go. You're looking at the person going, there is really nothing wrong with you and you know the way you feel about that person is good. So why is it not happening?
Exactly. If something bad happens, it's easier. I think it is in some way difficult for him too. He wrote me email at 5 am today from the road, kind of in the middle of nowhere. Not casual but very friendly and warm. However with no drama and this emotional heaviness which would be expected in this situation. I think he is much more realistic in this situation then me and knows life goes on and things happen, so better not to make each other promises which we are not sure we will be able to keep (and my word is gold, same like his). I believe God knows what is best for us and gives it to us at the right time. Frequently we don't understand that when things happen because it's difficult to grasp the bigger perspective being so emotionally deeply involved. It does hurt. He helped me to be a better person and gave perspective on many things in my life. But I try to convert my hope for being with him for a hope of being happy one day without him. Not easy.
"I believe God knows what is best for us and gives it to us at the right time."
I believe so too but see many times the answer is provided and is there waiting for us to get to it. It's there but will only reveal itself to you, when you'll put the right equation together. I think we all have challenges to overcome in order to fully become what we need to become and very often we fail at understanding our challenges. We fail at understanding what we need to overcome and fall short to the answer for the same reason, over and over again.
I believe so too but see many times the answer is provided and is there waiting for us to get to it. It's there but will only reveal itself to you, when you'll put the right equation together. I think we all have challenges to overcome in order to fully become what we need to become and very often we fail at understanding our challenges. We fail at understanding what we need to overcome and fall short to the answer for the same reason, over and over again.
"Just to make sure I understand you correctly. You mean there is always a clear reason why people can't be together despite the fact they appear to go along together pretty well?"
Yes in a way but my statement was more in relation to self knowledge. At times the right person for you, is there around you just waiting but you haven't fully become the person you need to become, in order to make this life together possible. There is often that thing about you that keeps you from becoming the person you need to become in order to make the connection with that person possible and reach happiness. There is always a reason why a relationship doesn't happen but when all is well in terms of love, respect, personal compability ect and you still can't be together. What is keeping you apart, must be something that can be overcomed with some introspection. The best knowledge to me is, is knowlegde of self. Knowing the person you are and the person you need to become is very important. Once you become the person you need to become, don't worry, the right things will come your way, naturally. I think you have a good plan to reach peace and personal understanding, so you should be fine in that sense.
Yes in a way but my statement was more in relation to self knowledge. At times the right person for you, is there around you just waiting but you haven't fully become the person you need to become, in order to make this life together possible. There is often that thing about you that keeps you from becoming the person you need to become in order to make the connection with that person possible and reach happiness. There is always a reason why a relationship doesn't happen but when all is well in terms of love, respect, personal compability ect and you still can't be together. What is keeping you apart, must be something that can be overcomed with some introspection. The best knowledge to me is, is knowlegde of self. Knowing the person you are and the person you need to become is very important. Once you become the person you need to become, don't worry, the right things will come your way, naturally. I think you have a good plan to reach peace and personal understanding, so you should be fine in that sense.
Thank you all for your help.
Posted by emeraldgem
Whew if this isn't "Fergie's" story.....I don't know what is. Fergie....Froggie....whatever her other names were....I dunno. It must be a sign I've been on dxp too long that the stories are just recycling through (a) the same people with different names or (b) new people telling the same old stories.........?
Well, probably there is a limited amount of relationships scenarios in general, not to mention reasons which bring people to this kind of boards. I tried to search for the story you mentioned in your post but couldn't find it. I would appreciate if you could reveal the ending of that story.
Posted by emeraldgem
Hard to put together since "Ferdy" deleted her account (which means all her comments get deleted with her) (to which I heartily add, "thank god" since the woman beat the topic to death in countless threads) - but I was able to find one of the relevent topics. Enjoy. For Scorpios, a breakup doesn't equal a breakup?
Thank you. I appreciate your time and efforts in finding this link. I read this thread very carefully. Personally I didn't find much in common between my and this scenario. However, this is probably because I know the whole picture and you guys only know what I wrote here (which is a very limited version). But I learned a lot and it helped me a lot. Thank you all.
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