Well...it's over.

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by happykitsune on Friday, December 30, 2011 and has 53 replies.
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He said we wouldn't be compatible in a relationship.
... because ...???
I'm sorry kits Sad
He said there were a lot of red flags. One of which was some of the stuff on my fb that his dad saw and didn't like. Another was the fact that I was shy around his sister. There were other things, but that was some of the main things I picked up on. He also didn't like that I kept mentioning my exes even though I had been working on not doing that. There was a lot of stuff I had to explain to him about, but I knew he'd made up his mind.
I knew that picnic was meant for more then just hanging out...I always get that bad feeling when something bad is about to happen...and when he told me "I need to talk to you about something" I knew it was coming.
Everything was so vivid. I still remember clearly his blazing gold eyes and that red beard. But all the signs were there and I knew it was coming.
I'm glad it happened tho...I really needed to get out of that thing with my ex leo. Realizing this is what made me cry and he ended up wrapping his arms around me. Then we got lunch then said good bye. He still wants to be friends
He has plans to move to either texas or new york depending on what job he gets. He told me he likes moving around. It reminded me of my ex gem who has moved a few times, but I didn't mention it to him cus I didn't want to offend him.
Idk really how to feel about this. He is a really great guy, but in the end it was stuff on my part that didn't work with him..
Posted by GemFiregrl1978

Awww this is so bitter-sweet.Do you think you are over your Leo though??Ask yourself that happy,you don't have to answer to us.
When I ran into problems with my Scorp I reached out to my Aries (my first love,my one and only that got away),anyways he is married now but he did want to be there for me,and I thought I wanted him but I realized I didn't.That it would be wrong path to take,a road I don't wanna take anymore...
that is how we truly know it's over,when you can have it and you don't.


You know its the strangest thing. Last night I thought about my ex leo for the first time in a long time and I was actually sad... I miss him, but I don't want to get back into another thing with him again. He's not someone I'd want to eventually marry. I may pursue a friendship with him later, but right now I just don't want to go there.
I think I've come to that point where I could have him, but I don't want him. In fact I've looked at all of my options today and I just don't want to get into anything with anyone at this point. I don't know where I'll be in the next year and I don't want to be limited because I know if I'm seeing someone I'll want to stay here with them..not good :/
But this is a good point...I feel like I've reached a time in my life I had yet to come to...where I'm fine with being single. And I really just wanna work on myself.
Posted by happykitsune
He said there were a lot of red flags. One of which was some of the stuff on my fb that his dad saw and didn't like. Another was the fact that I was shy around his sister. There were other things, but that was some of the main things I picked up on. He also didn't like that I kept mentioning my exes even though I had been working on not doing that. There was a lot of stuff I had to explain to him about, but I knew he'd made up his mind.
I knew that picnic was meant for more then just hanging out...I always get that bad feeling when something bad is about to happen...and when he told me "I need to talk to you about something" I knew it was coming.
Everything was so vivid. I still remember clearly his blazing gold eyes and that red beard. But all the signs were there and I knew it was coming.
I'm glad it happened tho...I really needed to get out of that thing with my ex leo. Realizing this is what made me cry and he ended up wrapping his arms around me. Then we got lunch then said good bye. He still wants to be friends


Aw, that sucks. I'm sorry.
I would recommend a lot of distance before the "friendship" stage... transitioning from lovers to friends, especially if you didn't want it to be that way, can be pure hell.
The guy sounds pretty demanding..and about small stuff too, bleh! I have a feeling you'll be better off without him smile
Aw, I'm so sorry for you, Kit (((hug))). I know it hurts and I don't have any wise words to say except I'm sorry. Keep posting here..vent,cry..whatever. You know you aren;t alone in this.
Posted by GemFiregrl1978
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
The guy sounds pretty demanding..and about small stuff too, bleh! I have a feeling you'll be better off without him smile


Yea happy,did you REALLY like him?Or what?
click to expand


Yes I really did. He is a really great guy. He told me he was sorry that he felt so strongly about all this stuff, but I told him not to because that's who he is. He wants specific things and he shouldn't settle.
He's someone I would want to marry, but if he doesn't want to continue then I can't do anything about it :/

It just wasnt meant to be then, after some time a sudden realization will come to you as to why exactly you two werent meant for anything else, you'll see.
Posted by BigGirlPanties
Aw, I'm so sorry for you, Kit (((hug))). I know it hurts and I don't have any wise words to say except I'm sorry. Keep posting here..vent,cry..whatever. You know you aren;t alone in this.


Thank you smile
I called up my suite mate from college and talked it out with her. I'm suppose to be hanging with my bff for new years eve so hopefully that will cheer me up too as she's good at doing that smile
Posted by GemFiregrl1978
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
It just wasnt meant to be then, after some time a sudden realization will come to you as to why exactly you two werent meant for anything else, you'll see.


I hate this saying...wasn't meant to be,yet felt so right.Why even come into our lives then when they wouldn't stay?
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All people that come into our lives come for different reasons, mostly to teach us something about ourselves we didnt know, not everyone that comes into our lives is supposed to stay with us forever, even if it may seem so in the beginning.
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
It just wasnt meant to be then, after some time a sudden realization will come to you as to why exactly you two werent meant for anything else, you'll see.


Yeah...right now I think I'm just shocked and slightly disillusioned cus I wasn't completely expecting that. It was like a nightmare...a very vivid nightmare.
I'm sure someday it'll come to me, but right now I'm gna try to focus on other things.
It's not that I didn't really like him, cus I still do...it's just I've been in too many relationships and tried to overanalyze too many times just to come to the conclusion everyone's been telling me all along. We weren't meant to be...
Or maybe I just have a lot of growing up to do. I'm sitting here wanting my next bf to be my future husband and I don't even know if I'd make good wife material. I don't really cook. I'm not the cleanest. I'm not the best with children, though I do find them cute... I just see a lot of flaws in myself that I feel that match up to being a good domesticated wife. I'm not the person I want to be. And today really shook me up to this reality
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
It just wasnt meant to be then, after some time a sudden realization will come to you as to why exactly you two werent meant for anything else, you'll see.


Yeah...right now I think I'm just shocked and slightly disillusioned cus I wasn't completely expecting that. It was like a nightmare...a very vivid nightmare.
I'm sure someday it'll come to me, but right now I'm gna try to focus on other things.
It's not that I didn't really like him, cus I still do...it's just I've been in too many relationships and tried to overanalyze too many times just to come to the conclusion everyone's been telling me all along. We weren't meant to be...
Or maybe I just have a lot of growing up to do. I'm sitting here wanting my next bf to be my future husband and I don't even know if I'd make good wife material. I don't really cook. I'm not the cleanest. I'm not the best with children, though I do find them cute... I just see a lot of flaws in myself that I feel that match up to being a good domesticated wife. I'm not the person I want to be. And today really shook me up to this reality
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Dont worry about the future just yet, it will come soon enough smile Just make sure you have plenty of mourning time (take as much time as you need)
I went through a breakup myself 3 months ago (we were together for almost 3 years)
Posted by GemFiregrl1978
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
It just wasnt meant to be then, after some time a sudden realization will come to you as to why exactly you two werent meant for anything else, you'll see.


I hate this saying...wasn't meant to be,yet felt so right.Why even come into our lives then when they wouldn't stay?
click to expand


I thought this too. I hate that people come in our lives not to stay. But then I thought about it and this is what I told scorpio... with tears in my eyes mind u.
"I'm glad you came into my life cus if it hadn't been for you I'd probably still be with my ex (leo) and I would have never known there were guys out there who weren't d-bags."
This was the only thing that really made me cry. And I'll never forget him for this.
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
It just wasnt meant to be then, after some time a sudden realization will come to you as to why exactly you two werent meant for anything else, you'll see.


Yeah...right now I think I'm just shocked and slightly disillusioned cus I wasn't completely expecting that. It was like a nightmare...a very vivid nightmare.
I'm sure someday it'll come to me, but right now I'm gna try to focus on other things.
It's not that I didn't really like him, cus I still do...it's just I've been in too many relationships and tried to overanalyze too many times just to come to the conclusion everyone's been telling me all along. We weren't meant to be...
Or maybe I just have a lot of growing up to do. I'm sitting here wanting my next bf to be my future husband and I don't even know if I'd make good wife material. I don't really cook. I'm not the cleanest. I'm not the best with children, though I do find them cute... I just see a lot of flaws in myself that I feel that match up to being a good domesticated wife. I'm not the person I want to be. And today really shook me up to this reality



Dont worry about the future just yet, it will come soon enough smile Just make sure you have plenty of mourning time (take as much time as you need)
I went through a breakup myself 3 months ago (we were together for almost 3 years)
click to expand


Well 3 yrs is a long time... much longer than my 2 months o.o But I will take time to grieve. Maybe I don't feel so bad about it cus he ended it without dragging me along and he still wanted to be friends.
Posted by GemFiregrl1978
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
It just wasnt meant to be then, after some time a sudden realization will come to you as to why exactly you two werent meant for anything else, you'll see.


Yeah...right now I think I'm just shocked and slightly disillusioned cus I wasn't completely expecting that. It was like a nightmare...a very vivid nightmare.
I'm sure someday it'll come to me, but right now I'm gna try to focus on other things.
It's not that I didn't really like him, cus I still do...it's just I've been in too many relationships and tried to overanalyze too many times just to come to the conclusion everyone's been telling me all along. We weren't meant to be...
Or maybe I just have a lot of growing up to do. I'm sitting here wanting my next bf to be my future husband and I don't even know if I'd make good wife material. I don't really cook. I'm not the cleanest. I'm not the best with children, though I do find them cute... I just see a lot of flaws in myself that I feel that match up to being a good domesticated wife. I'm not the person I want to be. And today really shook me up to this reality


Wow,yes.Reality!!I love that word.Same here.I know I would not be a good wife right away and I think I am 10 years older than you.I think I have been dreaming a lot,not really living,you know...

It will be so interesting to follow your path happy,maybe we can all learn something from each other.
click to expand


Haha oh boy...my relationship path is quite the story. Much more extensive since when I first came here. I actually got over all the heavy stuff before I joined dxp. But yes I believe we can all learn something from each other here..especially that we all make mistakes and we shouldn't be quick to judge
Posted by GemFiregrl1978
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by GemFiregrl1978
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
It just wasnt meant to be then, after some time a sudden realization will come to you as to why exactly you two werent meant for anything else, you'll see.


I hate this saying...wasn't meant to be,yet felt so right.Why even come into our lives then when they wouldn't stay?


I thought this too. I hate that people come in our lives not to stay. But then I thought about it and this is what I told scorpio... with tears in my eyes mind u.
"I'm glad you came into my life cus if it hadn't been for you I'd probably still be with my ex (leo) and I would have never known there were guys out there who weren't d-bags."
This was the only thing that really made me cry. And I'll never forget him for this.



Ohhh God,now you will make me cry tooSad(
Sadly,I can't think of anything why my Scorpio came into my life...but I hope it will be revealed to me.It just doesn't make sense.And I have to have sense,I must make sense of it all.Ugh,what a terrible feeling.
click to expand


I've felt that way about some of my other exes. Sadly I don't think everything necessarily happens for a reason...I mean it could. But we just don't see the bigger picture so we'll never know till the end
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
It just wasnt meant to be then, after some time a sudden realization will come to you as to why exactly you two werent meant for anything else, you'll see.


Yeah...right now I think I'm just shocked and slightly disillusioned cus I wasn't completely expecting that. It was like a nightmare...a very vivid nightmare.
I'm sure someday it'll come to me, but right now I'm gna try to focus on other things.
It's not that I didn't really like him, cus I still do...it's just I've been in too many relationships and tried to overanalyze too many times just to come to the conclusion everyone's been telling me all along. We weren't meant to be...
Or maybe I just have a lot of growing up to do. I'm sitting here wanting my next bf to be my future husband and I don't even know if I'd make good wife material. I don't really cook. I'm not the cleanest. I'm not the best with children, though I do find them cute... I just see a lot of flaws in myself that I feel that match up to being a good domesticated wife. I'm not the person I want to be. And today really shook me up to this reality



Dont worry about the future just yet, it will come soon enough smile Just make sure you have plenty of mourning time (take as much time as you need)
I went through a breakup myself 3 months ago (we were together for almost 3 years)


Well 3 yrs is a long time... much longer than my 2 months o.o But I will take time to grieve. Maybe I don't feel so bad about it cus he ended it without dragging me along and he still wanted to be friends.
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I know its probably not the moment to say this, but given how short-lived your relationship was, its going to be easier for you to get over it.
It took me about a few weeks of intense mourning time to really get over her, after that I felt peace and started to really have fun being single and doing what single people do Tongue I wasnt looking for any serious relationships but funnily enough I ran into someone really compatible about a month ago and now we're truly getting to know one another (we kissed last week for th
the first time smile it feels good.
Happy I'm so sorry Sad Reading this made me want to cry. Sheez. I'm so sorry.
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
the first time smile it feels good.


Thats good you found someone else smile
I don't think it'll take me that long, but I will probably always care about him cus hes very sweet and has never done me wrong
Posted by Mebs
Happy I'm so sorry Sad Reading this made me want to cry. Sheez. I'm so sorry.


It's okay Mebs, I'll be fine o.o I'm just glad it was sooner than later. Gotta look on the bright side of this
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by Mebs
Happy I'm so sorry Sad Reading this made me want to cry. Sheez. I'm so sorry.


It's okay Mebs, I'll be fine o.o I'm just glad it was sooner than later. Gotta look on the bright side of this
click to expand


You're right. That Sag optimism is a good thing Winking . I don't know why I felt like you two were together for longer than two months...It seemed longer than that.
I think it's awesome you guys can be friends. Shows how mature he is and you.
Posted by Mebs
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by Mebs
Happy I'm so sorry Sad Reading this made me want to cry. Sheez. I'm so sorry.


It's okay Mebs, I'll be fine o.o I'm just glad it was sooner than later. Gotta look on the bright side of this


You're right. That Sag optimism is a good thing Winking . I don't know why I felt like you two were together for longer than two months...It seemed longer than that.
click to expand


I felt like much longer. I really felt like we had a good connection, but I guess not good enough. Oh well...I'm okay with being single right now
Posted by Sag89
I think it's awesome you guys can be friends. Shows how mature he is and you.


Well normally he doesn't remain friends with people who he's been with, but he said since we ended on good terms it wouldn't be weird.
I've never had a problem with being friends when an ex as long as they don't make it awkward. I'm pretty chill
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by Sag89
I think it's awesome you guys can be friends. Shows how mature he is and you.


Well normally he doesn't remain friends with people who he's been with, but he said since we ended on good terms it wouldn't be weird.
I've never had a problem with being friends when an ex as long as they don't make it awkward. I'm pretty chill
click to expand



Ex is awkward Sad
Posted by Sag89
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by Sag89
I think it's awesome you guys can be friends. Shows how mature he is and you.


Well normally he doesn't remain friends with people who he's been with, but he said since we ended on good terms it wouldn't be weird.
I've never had a problem with being friends when an ex as long as they don't make it awkward. I'm pretty chill



Ex is awkward Sad
click to expand


What yours? Yeah I read your post about him today :/ sounds like he was pretty hurt
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by Sag89
Posted by happykitsune
Posted by Sag89
I think it's awesome you guys can be friends. Shows how mature he is and you.


Well normally he doesn't remain friends with people who he's been with, but he said since we ended on good terms it wouldn't be weird.
I've never had a problem with being friends when an ex as long as they don't make it awkward. I'm pretty chill



Ex is awkward Sad


What yours? Yeah I read your post about him today :/ sounds like he was pretty hurt
click to expand


Yea he needs help.. oh well
Awwww, my heart sank when I read this Sad I'm so sorry. Hugs honey Sad
Listen, as well as you know this, this is someone then that wasn't meant for YOU. These things you talk about, if they are things you recognize for yourself and want to make those changes, then what a wonderful thing then to strive for. But don't let anyone be that judge of you. I can tell you many things, but in a way I'm not surprised that there were things that he focused on to call it quits. I don't say it meanly, but they are VERY critical and expect the best of anything and everyone..with no thoughts, or trying, just 'it should just be there and if it's not then done or they tell you'.

I can tell you this as well, he may be a good person and hasn't hurt you. But also realize too that just because things ended well would be a good reason to remain your friend? I call foul. He should want to be your friend because although you may not be the 'one' for him, you are still a good person. THAT'S a friend. Not someone who says "Oh, because you handled this all so well, I'll allow you to be my friend." Unnn uh. That's to make himself feel better because he knows you're a good person, he's just feeling guilty for being a marker. He wants you to feel better about what he did. So keep yourself guarded too, he's not perfect but he's acting like he is. Be glad he ended it. And let YOU become HIS biggest mistake and regret when he sees you blossom into even more of a beautiful woman than you already are.
Thing is he does want to be my friend because of who I am. He said that while we wouldn't be good in a relationship I still make a good friend.
I was the one who made him clarify why he didn't just dismiss me like all the others. And the fact that we ended on good terms was only a minor part. He told me he really does enjoy hanging out with me. We're able to be ourselves around each other, which is what I find a true friends is good for...being myself around them smile
Maybe I will become someone he regrets not having. He told me maybe later down the line when we both mature we can start something. But I told him "No, don't tell me that...I spent 4 years chasing my ex (leo)... I don't want you to make me hopeful." And he agreed it wasn't right for him to say that
Good, glad you clarified that! It read like because things ended so well and that you handled it okay that he didn't see any reasons not to be friends. Hugs!
Omg healthy people want to be friends with their exs because they can handle loving a person but not being with them.
He seems like a good guy I doubt it was anything other than that.
Or like
Posted by OceanDeep
Good, glad you clarified that! It read like because things ended so well and that you handled it okay that he didn't see any reasons not to be friends. Hugs!


Yeah, sorry. I have a tendency of wording things wrong cus I say stuff quick and get it out as fast as I can I guess :/ I need to work on that. But I'm pretty good with clarifying
Posted by Sag89
Omg healthy people want to be friends with their exs because they can handle loving a person but not being with them.
He seems like a good guy I doubt it was anything other than that.


Okay, seriously? You directing this to me?
Posted by ellybd
At least he was straight with you. A good guy till the end. It truly is better sooner than later.
Nevertheless, I am sorry for you. Sad Sad Sad Break ups are so not fun. My rule of thumb is eat lotsa doughnuts, cry a little, than go out and focus on completely not relationship oriented things. You get to grieve, than give yourself space from the relationship, distance and time, and it helps things become clearer.
**Lots o Hugs**


Thank you... I haven't really grieved yet. I mean I did cry a little while I was on the phn with my suite mate, but after that I didn't do much grieving. I've been around my sister all day and we've just been chillin on a game all day. But when I go to be alone for any reason I start thinking about it.
I think right now I need to be around people or I could fall apart. Tomorrow my taurus bff is inviting me to a huge NYE party and I may have lunch with my scorpio friend tomorrow too so hopefully that'll keep me busy throughout the day cus this has yet to really hit me...it might tonight when I'm alone
Wow, that's really sad Sad I've never been paralyzed, but I did want to run as far as I could once when I was dating my leo ex... I guess like Forrest Gump...but I was too lazy.
Idk if anyone will be up as late as I go to sleep. But calling someone is a good idea.
I've been avoiding my parents, which isn't hard to do today since they've been out most of the day. My dad tried to ask me how our picnic went but I told him I'd tell him about it later. Idk if I don't wanna talk about it cus I feel so ashamed I lost him or cus I feel like I'll fall apart in front of them. The only person I feel comfortable being around right now is my younger cancer sister cus she doesn't ask questions.
Posted by ellybd
Than chill with her. smile A lot of times people just need to decompress before they can talk about something. Gotta handle it their own way.
And if you need to, you can still just tell people you don't want anyone to ask questions right now. You'd be surprised how many would just be there.
And feel free to express or not express yourself here. smile


Thanks. It's more so the fact that I can't tell them I'm not with him yet... thts why they keep asking cus they don't know whats going on. Maybe telling them is what's going to solidify it and make me realize what's really going here..the thing I've been avoiding to face in my mind.
Happy, I'm so sorry you are going through this. My xScorp and I broke up almost 7 months ago, and I miss him like crazy. The holidays have been hard and yes, nights are the hardest. I know how you are feeling and it sucks....broken hearts really hurt....sending hugs and hoping you feel better as each day passes.
Posted by Divinesun
Happy, I'm so sorry you are going through this. My xScorp and I broke up almost 7 months ago, and I miss him like crazy. The holidays have been hard and yes, nights are the hardest. I know how you are feeling and it sucks....broken hearts really hurt....sending hugs and hoping you feel better as each day passes.


Thank you so much for the hugs. There could very well be something going on with scorpios recently, or just people in general due to the holidays. I've noticed more people this year either going single or engaged during this holiday season. Something must be up I suppose
Well so much for this year. The forecast said Sagittarius would find love in 2011... guess not :/
Posted by ellybd
Angry I understand what you mean. When you feel strongly about someone and they become a part of a daily reality slowly, it's shocking and hard to understand when they aren't any longer. I went through that BAD with my cancer ex, to an unhealthy degree though. Thought I'd never be able to find love/connection like that again.
Truth is, I found better.
And your scorp is not crazy like my ex cancer was, so just imagine the possibilities lol.
You're right to do you. Beautiful surprises can happen at strangest of times. smile Wishing you some as you go along and move forward.
After eating lotsa doughtnuts of course! Big Grin


That's good you found better smile That's how I felt about this scorpio because I was still hung up over the ex leo and thought I couldn't find better. I'm sure I can find better, but it's hard to imagine that when I've been with someone I didn't see any flaws in.
Aw, yes they can. Thank you for the kind words smile
You are so welcome....my heart goes out to you, and all of us women who are struggling with the loss of our scorp men.
I don't know about somethig going on with scorps recently, because we broke up in June, but we continued to be in contact, off and on, and then last week, I emailed him and asked him to no longer contact me. I just can't handle it....I find it too hard, keeps the hope alive, and I know there is no hope....so I am trying my best to move forward....Perhaps I can be his friend in the future, but not right now. If I can't have all of him, I don't want any of him. You are right, I'm a sag/scorp cusper and I lost love in 2011. This year can't be over soon enough! Out with the old, in with the New!
He was looking for reasons to break it off. Those excuses were lame and you know it. Oh well, his loss, eh?
Posted by ninjamu
He was looking for reasons to break it off. Those excuses were lame and you know it. Oh well, his loss, eh?


Regardless of if they're seen as lame or not they are something that matters to him and I respect him too much to disregard it. We all have our deal breakers and those happened to be his.
He'll find out in the end if he made the right decision or not, but I'm not going to wait around again like I did with the leo
Posted by ellybd
Something probably is up with scorpios.
I've been feeling it on my part.


I'm not a scorpio, but I have a lot in my chart and I've been feeling like I want to be left alone lately. Like before this who mess went down.
I was even contemplating making scorpio just a friend at one point, but I guess thts cus I started to feel a shift and I got scared. But I didn't cus I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and see where things went.
I just got done talking to scorpio... there were some things that needed to be said and I wanted to make sure that what he decided was his final decision. As I predicted he wouldn't budge. He's very set in what he decided.
I've thought about a lot of what he talked about and some of it I'd like to work on because I personally feel it'd make me a better person.
Aside from that I'm going to try to move on from this and get over it as quickly as possible.
I'm going to really miss him Sad I really liked dating him
Good for you that you are taking into consideration and making changes. Not taking it personal is a HUGE sign of your maturity and open mindedness!
Sucks that he is so rigid in HIS mind set. Im sorry Sad
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